Chapter 316: Acting Crazy and Stupid
According to the custom in Shangzhou, people go to their father-in-law’s house on the second day of the New Year.
Shi Ge and I went back to Wuxiang together. Xiaolin and I went back to her hometown and met up at Shi Ge's house the next day, the third day of the Lunar New Year.
I wanted Xiaolin to stay at her cousin's house for a day, but she didn't want to. So, we drove to Shige's father-in-law's house. Lanxin's family was also from this village.
As soon as Brother Shi and his wife got home, some old men and women came in. They guessed that Brother Shi was here to distribute money.
As soon as I arrived, I sat there. Since there was no place else to sit, I stood on the floor of Shi Ge's father-in-law's house.
After all, it was New Year's Day, and Shi Ge's parents-in-law didn't want to offend their neighbors, so they politely moved out the table, put some candies on it, and served some tea.
More and more people gathered, some sitting and some standing, and they all understood clearly that if Brother Shi gave them money, they would leave, and if he didn't, they would stay here.
This atmosphere is really awkward. It doesn't make sense to chase people away.
Suddenly, a woman's curses rang out from a distance. Her voice was particularly harsh. It was New Year's, after all.
Shi Ge told me that this woman was called Aunt Liu, a notoriously poor family, her husband having died and she now had three children. She and Lan Xin's mother were two of the village's most eccentric figures. They were known for their penchant for cursing their mothers, regardless of the season. So, the other villagers gave it a charming nickname: Shrew Village.
Sixth Aunt is uneducated and easily manipulated. This time, she was clearly criticizing someone who had embezzled public funds. In other words, she didn't mention anyone by name, but was actually criticizing Brother Shi and the village chief.
On a Spring Festival, when this ominous curse suddenly rang out, everyone could have attacked it. But strangely enough, the group of old men and women standing on the ground joined in the chant.
This one shouted: "Sixth Aunt, it's New Year's Day, who has offended you and made you worry and work so hard?"
The other one shouted, "Sixth Aunt, if you feel injustice, just shout it out. Shout as loudly as you can."
Shi Ge's mother-in-law, so embarrassed she was, urged me to sit in the living room. She whispered to me, "Two characters have emerged from this place: Aunt Six and Lan Xin's mother. There will never be peace in this place."
At this time, the village chief came over and Brother Shi introduced me to him.
The village chief stood on the ground floor and shouted at Aunt Six, who was standing on the high slope cursing her mother: "Hey, Aunt Six, today is Chinese New Year and every family has guests. Why are you so uncultured? Every place has its own rules. Cursing your mother should be done on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month."
When someone shouted, Aunt Six cursed even more fiercely. She jumped up and trotted all the way, taking three steps forward and two steps back, like dancing, cursing with even more energy.
Seeing that there was no effect, the village chief said to the group of old men and women: "Everyone go back, go back. Brother Shi distributes money with his own money. The good situation two years ago and last year does not mean that the income will be good this year.
Besides, people give money out of concern for everyone, not out of debt. We've eaten candy, paid our respects, and drunk tea. Everyone has things to do, so it's time to go back.
One of the young men said, "Village chief, let me ask you something. People say you two took some money from the government, gave some to us poor families, and pocketed the rest."
The village chief said, "Go to the town and ask. Brother Shi and I paid for this out of our own pockets."
The young man asked, “Then why do you have to pay for it yourself?”
"I pay for it myself because I care about you."
"Why don't you care about us? You're lying. You're just using our names to make money. Don't you agree?"
As a result, the group of people actually shouted in unison: "Yes, give us our hard-earned money."
I can't bear to watch it anymore.
He found a wooden stick from the ground and held it in his hand.
These people are incomprehensible.
I said, "Friends, I'm Shi Ge's friend. I learn martial arts. Every morning at 10 o'clock, I have to perform stick dance. Please stand aside. I'm going to dance with the stick."
I yelled, "Brother Shi, give me a bottle of wine."
Shi Ge took out a bottle of white wine. I used a wooden stick to push open the bottle cap, held it high, and the wine flowed down like a waterfall into my mouth.
They were all dumbfounded by what they saw.
A bottle of white wine, just drank it all.
I threw the bottle away and began to brandish the stick. This stick is called a wine stick. After a few swings, I used all my strength to strike the young man's head.
He was so frightened that his whole body froze there, not daring to move. His legs were probably too frightened to move.
I brought my stick down before my eyes, then pulled it back, flipping over. I struck another woman on the head, who was screaming furiously. She immediately crouched down in fear. I pulled the stick back again and struck another woman on the head...
The stick was swung like a drunken boxer, clearly aiming for a direct chop, but it withdrew, frightening them into a circle. I danced even more vigorously, becoming even more drunken, and shouted, "Who is cursing? The sound is too unpleasant. Let me, Old Sun, take her down."
After saying this, I pretended to be crazy and drunk, picked up the stick and trotted towards Aunt Liu who was standing on the high slope.
Don't be fooled by the way this woman curses. She is a master at pretending to be cool. She knows that I am also pretending to be crazy and stupid, for fear that I will really hit her with a stick under the influence of alcohol.
She stopped cursing and ran away shouting "Oh my God!", wishing her parents had lost their legs.
I dragged my stick, pretending to be completely drunk, and ran back. At this moment, a naive yellow dog rushed onto the ground and barked at me fiercely. It turned out to be the young man's pet, and it came to help. Isn't this bringing me the spoils?
I threw the stick away, clapped my hands, pointed at the dog that was about to charge, and yelled, "Kneel down for me."
The dog actually knelt down at the sound, its legs giving way and it knelt there unable to move.
If I had mentioned the dance stick, they would have thought I was drunk and crazy, but the sound of "kneeling down" completely stunned them.
I smiled, clapped my hands, and said, "Everyone, don't move. If you move, I'll think you're going to hit me. Then I won't be able to control myself and ask you not to move either."
No one really dared to move.
I laughed out loud, looking up to the sky. Then I said, "I'm Shi Ge's good friend. If you don't know, I'm Wan Shanhong, a disciple of Master Hongyi. Please listen to what I have to say."
Three years ago, Brother Shi and the village chief did a good deed. They distributed money to everyone for two years. However, Brother Shi and the village chief do not owe you any money.
As for the rumor that they used your name to secure funding, that's bullshit. You know the answer.
A person who does not work and waits for others to give him a few hundred yuan, and then spreads rumors against his conscience when others don't give him the money, is just like the dog on the ground, with a heart and a lung.
Keep your mouths clean, keep them clean. I can forgive those who have been deceived. If you continue to talk nonsense, I will drink too much and I won’t recognize your last name as Zhang or Li. A stick doesn’t recognize a person.
After that, I patted the dog and said, "Get lost."
The dog slowly arched its body, looked at me, and as if it was afraid of me, it stood up, took a step back, and walked away.
The village chief said, "Master Shanhong has already made it clear to everyone. If you continue to spread rumors, be careful. It's almost time for dinner. The host didn't invite you to dinner, so you should go back."
Those lazy guys, old men, and women kept looking back as they walked, as if they were afraid that I would catch up and beat them.
At noon, Shi Ge's parents-in-law and the village chief were incredibly welcoming to me. They said I was drunk and acting crazy today, which was much more effective than reasoning. These people are afraid of getting serious. The more reasonable you are, the more aggressive they become. The more aggressive you are, the more afraid they become of you.
I joked, "Village chief, you have a responsibility. The more developed a place's economy is, the broader its people's horizons become. If you gave a villager from the surrounding areas of Shangzhou two hundred yuan, he would think you were insulting him."
The village chief said, "That's right. We must find a way to develop the economy. The old saying that poverty breeds low ambition is truly true."
Mrs. Shi picked up a chicken leg and gave it to me: "Shanhong, you are the best. Even Lan Xin's mother doesn't dare to show up now."
I smiled and said, "It doesn't matter if I'm out. I still have to call you Aunt. I hope Aunt won't embarrass me at this time."
Shi Ge's mother-in-law said, "No one in our village can defeat her, but she is afraid of you. Come, I offer you a chicken wing, and I wish you to soar high."
Everyone laughed.
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