Touch
The night was as dark as ink, gently embracing the magnificent mountains and rivers of the day. The temperature on the mountaintop plummeted, and a chilly, damp feeling spread, mingling with the warmth emanating from the still-burning embers of the campfire, creating a unique camping atmosphere.
After a lively dinner and lots of laughter and playful banter, a wave of fatigue washed over me.
Everyone started cleaning up the mess and preparing for bed. The tents had been assigned in advance: Jin Jie, being the only woman, naturally had one by herself; Qin Zhou and Song Yungui shared one; Xiao Jue and Lin Ye shared one; Cheng Rui and Lin Zhiyu shared one; and Qi Shuo, due to sleep problems, also had a small tent by himself so as not to disturb others.
"I've memorized the night watch schedule!" Sister Jin rubbed her hands together, her breath steaming in the air, and emphasized again, "First shift, 8 o'clock to 12 o'clock, Qi Shuo and Xiao Jue. Second shift, 12 o'clock to 4 o'clock in the morning, Qin Zhou and Lin Zhiyu. Last shift, 4 o'clock to 8 o'clock in the morning, Cheng Rui and Lin Ye. Xiao Yun Gui and I," she proudly raised her chin, showing off the "victory" from her rock-paper-scissors game, "we're lucky to have a bye, so we can sleep in."
No one objected to the arrangement, and they began their quick wash-up routine with laughter and chatter.
I wiped my face and brushed my teeth with the little water I had brought. The cold touch instantly woke me up and made me eager to crawl into my sleeping bag.
Soon, the sounds of zippers closing and the hushed laughter of the boys could be heard from inside the tent, before silence finally fell, leaving only the whistling of the mountain wind through the treetops and the low chirping of unknown insects in the distance.
A few more pieces of durable firewood were added to the campfire, and the flames leaped, dispelling the surrounding darkness and chill.
Qi Shuo and Xiao Jue wrapped their coats tighter, sat down around the fire, and the vigil began.
The first shift is usually the easiest, as the excitement hasn't completely worn off yet.
Neither of them spoke, but simply gazed up at the sky. The air at the mountaintop was crystal clear, without a trace of impurity. Against the dark blue sky, the Milky Way stretched out, dazzling beyond belief. Each star seemed to have been meticulously polished, shimmering with a cold and pure light.
This pristine starry sky, far removed from urban light pollution, possesses a breathtaking power.
Qi Shuo tilted his head back, staring blankly. The night wind ruffled his newly cut buzz cut, bringing a chill that also kept his mind unusually clear.
The heaviness, depression, and confusion that had been building up in my heart all this time seemed to appear somewhat insignificant under the vast starry sky.
He took a long, deep breath of the cold air and slowly exhaled, as if he wanted to pour out all the stale air in his chest into the silent mountain night.
Hearing his sigh, Xiao Jue turned to look at him. In the firelight, Qi Shuo's profile was clearly defined, his eyes gazing at the starry sky, somewhat vacant, yet seemingly more at ease than before.
Their eyes met, and they remained silent for a few seconds. Suddenly, one of them smiled faintly, and then the other couldn't help but laugh as well.
It wasn't a loud laugh, but a low, knowing chuckle that emanated from the chest. No words were needed; they both understood what the other was laughing about.
Laugh at the bizarre arrangement of fate, laugh at the relief of surviving a disaster, laugh at the luxury of being able to sit side by side under the starry sky and around the campfire.
"How wonderful," Qi Shuo thought to himself. Even though the road ahead was still unknown, and even though the scars still ached, at this moment, his family and close friends were by his side, sharing this starry sky and this peace.
That's enough. This brief warmth and companionship may be enough to support him on a long journey ahead.
"Are you cold?" Xiao Jue asked, adding a piece of firewood to the fire.
"Not bad." Qi Shuo rubbed his hands together.
The two chatted casually for a few minutes, about the sunrise the next day and trivial matters down the mountain. The conversation was light and the atmosphere was peaceful.
Just then, a very faint rustling sound, like fabric rubbing together, mixed with barely audible, suppressed breathing, came from the nearby tent area. In the quiet night, the sound was exceptionally clear.
Qi Shuo and Xiao Jue simultaneously stopped talking and pricked up their ears alertly. The source of the sound seemed to be... Qin Zhou and Song Yungui's tent.
Qi Shuo frowned, a hint of doubt flashing through his mind.
What are those two boys doing so late? Are they playing around? Or are they feeling unwell?
He instinctively stood up, tiptoed, and walked toward the tent.
Xiao Jue was also curious and silently followed behind him.
The two crept closer to the tent. Qi Shuo hesitated for a moment, but was still not entirely at ease. He crouched down and carefully, very gently and slowly, pulled the zipper of the tent door open a small gap.
There were no lights in the tent, only the faint starlight and the dim light of the distant campfire filtering through, outlining two blurry figures inside.
However, this blurry scene struck Qi Shuo, who was squatting outside the tent, like a thunderbolt, and he froze on the spot.
Inside the tent, Qin Zhou and Song Yungui weren't sleeping peacefully. They lay side by side, very close to each other.
Qin Zhou's arms were wrapped around Song Yungui's waist, while Song Yungui's hands rested gently on Qin Zhou's back.
That's not the most crucial point—the most crucial point is that their faces were so close together, their noses almost touching, and their lips... were pressed tightly together.
It wasn't a hasty touch, but a tender yet incredibly lingering kiss.
Qin Zhou's lips gently caressed Song Yungui's, with the burning passion and clumsy tenderness unique to young people.
Song Yungui closed his eyes, his long eyelashes trembling slightly like butterfly wings, his fair face flushed with a beautiful blush. He tilted his head back slightly, completely immersed in the kiss, with a sense of complete surrender and trust.
They kissed so intently, so passionately, as if the whole world had shrunk to just the two of them, completely unaware that two pairs of shocked eyes were watching them from outside the tent.
Seeing Qi Shuo frozen in place with a strange expression, Xiao Jue's curiosity grew even stronger, and he couldn't help but move closer to peek through the crack.
Upon seeing this, Xiao Jue's eyes widened instantly, and he gasped, almost making a sound. He quickly covered his mouth, his face filled with disbelief. Good heavens! These two little brats actually…
Qi Shuo was the first to come to his senses, his face instantly turning bright red. A surge of heat rushed from his neck to the top of his head, as if he had been burned. He quickly and deftly pulled the zipper back to its original position, then grabbed Xiao Jue's arm, who was still dumbfounded, and staggered back to the big tree by the campfire, almost as if fleeing the scene.
The two leaned against the rough tree trunk, looking at each other, both seeing the same shock, embarrassment, and a hint of... absurdity that was both funny and sad.
The air was silent for a few seconds, then someone couldn't hold back and let out a very soft "pfft." Immediately afterward, both of them lowered their heads, their shoulders began to shake uncontrollably, and they laughed silently, their whole bodies trembling, tears almost streaming down their faces.
My God, those two 26-year-old men were actually peeping at two 18-year-old boys kissing on a mountaintop in the dead of night, and they were even blushing. If word got out, people would laugh their heads off.
Finally managing to stop laughing, the two of them slumped to the ground, exhausted. Xiao Jue wiped away the tears of laughter, panting as he whispered, "...These two kids...they're something else..."
Qi Shuo shook his head helplessly, raised his hand and pinched his burning nose, his feelings mixed.
There was a sense of感慨 (gǎnkǎi, mixed feelings) about one's own child "growing up," an embarrassment at having a secret discovered, but more than anything, there was an indescribable feeling of being touched.
After the laughter subsided, the atmosphere gradually calmed down. Xiao Jue simply relaxed his body, lay down on the ground covered with a moisture-proof mat, put his hands behind his head, and looked at the starry sky.
Qi Shuo followed his example and lay down beside him.
The vast starry sky enveloped them once again, but their state of mind was completely different from before.
After a moment of silence, Xiao Jue suddenly spoke, his voice exceptionally clear in the quiet night: "Qi Shuo."
"Um?"
"You said... what kind of person do you like?" Xiao Jue's tone was casual, as if discussing tomorrow's weather. "A girl? Or... a boy is fine too?"
The question came so suddenly that Qi Shuo was stunned. He gazed at the Milky Way above, his thoughts drifting away to a distant place.
What kind of person does he like? It seems he's never seriously considered that question.
Before the age of eighteen, my life was filled with studies, fighting, taking care of my younger sister and that broken home. At the age when I was just beginning to experience romantic feelings, I had no extra energy to dream about love and romance.
After turning eighteen, life takes a sharp turn for the worse; simply surviving becomes a luxury, and love and affection seem as distant as something from another galaxy.
Now, at twenty-six, life seems to be back on track, but the feeling of "liking" is like a barren wasteland, barren and unfamiliar.
He even pessimistically thought, who would like someone who has been to prison, has a criminal record, and whose heart is full of trauma and gloom?
Perhaps someone like him doesn't deserve to have the luxury of "liking" someone.
Xiao Jue seemed to be able to see through the darkness of the night and into the deepest inferiority and retreat in his heart.
He raised his foot and gave Qi Shuo's shin a light kick, his tone carrying an undeniable certainty: "Hey, don't overthink it. Let me tell you, everyone has the right to like another person, regardless of gender or past."
He paused, his voice low and earnest: "If... I mean if, in the future you really meet that person who makes your heart flutter, who makes you feel warm, who makes you want to get close, no matter who they are or what kind of person they are, you must... you absolutely must muster up the courage to seize the opportunity. Don't hesitate, don't be afraid, and don't think you're not good enough for them."
“Qi Shuo,” Xiao Jue turned his head, looking at his friend’s blurry silhouette in the starlight, “we’ve already lost enough. If happiness comes knocking, even if it’s just a tiny glimmer, we must strive, strive, and strive again to seize it. Don’t wait until it’s too late to regret it.”
Qi Shuo listened quietly, Xiao Jue's words like pebbles falling into the still lake of his heart.
He would occasionally look at Qin Zhou and Song Yungui, at the unreserved dependence and passion between them, and at the light in their eyes that they couldn't hide even when they were bickering.
He was genuinely envious. Envious that they could meet someone at the best age who could offer each other warmth and support, and walk together on their journey.
What does it feel like to have a lover?
He didn't know. He didn't even know what it specifically felt like to "like" someone.
The starlight fell gently, and the campfire crackled softly. Twenty-six-year-old Qi Shuo, atop a mountain a thousand meters above sea level, beside his closest friend, began for the first time to truly contemplate this seemingly simple yet incredibly profound question for him.
The road ahead remains shrouded in mist, but at this moment, a tiny seed of "love" seems to have quietly fallen into that barren field of the heart, awaiting unknown rain and sunshine.
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