boundary
As night deepened, the snow outside the window seemed to have stopped, leaving only the wind blowing tirelessly, occasionally stirring up the thin layer of snow on the ground with a soft rustling sound.
The room was well-heated, the television had long been turned off, and only a floor lamp cast a soft, dim glow, enveloping a corner of the sofa in a warm light.
After that quiet and long embrace ended, a kind of silent, sticky warmth seemed to linger in the air.
Tan Huaiyu's emotions were like a rollercoaster ride, from extreme tension and anxiety to the ecstatic bittersweet feeling of being accepted, and now to the slightly bewildered dizziness and immense satisfaction after everything has settled down.
His cheeks were still wet with tears, and his eyes were still red, but they were surprisingly bright, as if filled with shattered starlight. He stared at Qi Shuo without blinking, as if afraid that if he blinked, this person would disappear, or that everything just now was just an overly beautiful dream.
Qi Shuo felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze, so he looked away, patted his back, and gestured for him to let go. "It's getting late." His voice was low and hoarse, carrying a hint of barely perceptible fatigue.
Tan Huaiyu then slowly and reluctantly released his arms from around Qi Shuo's waist. The sudden emptiness in his embrace and the return of cold air made him instinctively curl his fingers.
But he didn't move, remaining seated on the sofa next to Qi Shuo, so close they could feel the heat emanating from each other's bodies.
Qi Shuo stood up and stretched his stiff neck and shoulders. The long night shift and maintaining the same posture for a while had left him feeling sore all over. "I'm going to wash up," he said, and walked into the bathroom.
Tan Huaiyu nodded obediently and watched him leave. Only when the sound of water came from the bathroom did he seem to suddenly come back to his senses. He quietly raised his hand to touch his cheek, which still retained Qi Shuo's body temperature, then covered his mouth and laughed silently, his eyes curving into beautiful crescents.
As he laughed, his eyes welled up with tears. He blinked hard, suppressing the urge to both laugh and cry.
When Qi Shuo finished washing up and came out wearing a slightly loose long pajamas that Tan Huaiyu had specially bought for him, he saw that Tan Huaiyu was still in the same position as before, curled up in the corner of the sofa, looking at him with bright eyes, like a puppy waiting for its owner to feed it.
Qi Shuo paused, drying his hair. "Aren't you going to sleep?"
Tan Huaiyu shook his head, his voice soft and slightly nasal, with a hint of coquettishness: "Not sleepy yet." He paused, then added softly, "I want to... stay a little longer."
I'll stay a little longer, watching you.
He didn't say it aloud, but his eyes clearly showed it.
Qi Shuo didn't say anything. He walked to the other end of the sofa, sat down, picked up the case compilation that Tan Huaiyu had been looking at, and casually flipped through it.
The room was quiet, save for the sounds of a towel rubbing against hair and the soft turning of pages. But Tan Huaiyu's gaze was fixed on him, as if it were a tangible thing, making it impossible for him to concentrate.
After a while, Qi Shuo put down his book and looked at Tan Huaiyu. The latter immediately straightened his back, looking like he was saying, "I'm being good and I didn't bother you," but the longing and dependence in his eyes were almost overflowing.
Qi Shuo felt somewhat helpless, yet also a little amused.
He remembered when he was a child, Tan Huaiyu would look like this when he made a mistake or wanted to cheat, squatting at his feet and looking at him expectantly until he softened.
Time seemed to flow backward, and the little tail that always followed him overlapped with the young man in front of him, dressed in pajamas, whose features had matured but who still looked at him with that same gaze.
Qi Shuo put down the towel and reached out. This time, instead of rubbing her hair, he gently pinched Tan Huaiyu's cheek with his thumb and forefinger. The touch was soft and warm, and the skin was delicate.
He pinched Tan Huaiyu's face slightly, making it pout a little. Looking at his wide, wet, amber eyes filled with surprise, Qi Shuo's lips curved upwards almost imperceptibly, a faint but genuine smile spreading in his eyes.
"Can you be a little more obedient?" he asked, his voice gentler than usual, carrying a hint of indulgence that he himself didn't even realize.
Tan Huaiyu was taken aback by his sudden, intimate, and slightly teasing gesture. His cheek was being pinched, and his speech was a little unclear, but he still immediately made a loud, muffled "Mmm" and nodded vigorously: "Yes."
"Then go to sleep, okay?" Qi Shuo let go of his hand, his fingertips still feeling the soft touch of the other person's cheek.
Tan Huaiyu blinked, his long eyelashes fluttering like small fans, and then... he tilted his head, revealing an innocent expression that said, "The wind was too strong and I didn't hear you," and began to pretend to be deaf and dumb.
Her eyes remained fixed on Qi Shuo, the meaning of which was clear: she didn't want to go, she just wanted to stay here and watch him.
Qi Shuo raised an eyebrow. This kid's learned to play dumb now?
He leaned forward slightly, closing the distance between them, and looked calmly at Tan Huaiyu, his tone carrying a hint of teasing: "Want to sleep on the sofa?"
The word "sofa" automatically became synonymous with "sleeping with you" in Tan Huaiyu's ears.
His eyes suddenly lit up even brighter, like light bulbs that had been turned on instantly, and he nodded vigorously without hesitation and full of expectation: "Yes!"
That look, that tone, it was as if they were saying: Yes! I want to sleep on the sofa with you! Say yes!
Qi Shuo looked at his undisguised, even somewhat "pushing his luck" manner, and the smile in his eyes deepened, but his face remained expressionless.
He suddenly reached out and, before Tan Huaiyu could react, slipped one hand under his knees and wrapped the other around his back, lifting the person curled up in the corner of the sofa into his arms.
"!!" Tan Huaiyu was caught off guard and let out a short exclamation, his arms instinctively wrapping around Qi Shuo's neck. He was a head shorter than Qi Shuo, but he was still a grown man and quite heavy. But Qi Shuo held him firmly, his arms strong and powerful, as if it were effortless.
This sudden, powerful princess carry caused Tan Huaiyu's brain to freeze instantly. Her cheeks flushed red, her heart pounded like a drum, and she froze in Qi Shuo's arms, forgetting even to breathe.
Qi Shuo, however, seemed to have simply completed a simple moving task. He carried Tan Huaiyu to the spacious end of the sofa, then bent down and gently laid the stiff, wooden-like person in his arms onto the sofa.
Then, he pulled over a neatly folded blanket, unfolded it, and carefully and tightly covered Tan Huaiyu from shoulders to ankles, wrapping him up like a silkworm.
Having done all this, Qi Shuo straightened up, looking down at Tan Huaiyu, who was still frozen on the sofa, and said slowly and clearly, word by word:
"Then you should go to sleep."
He paused, and under Tan Huaiyu's bewildered yet expectant gaze, slowly added the second half of the sentence:
"I'm going to bed."
Tan Huaiyu: "...?!"
His expectant gaze froze instantly, then shattered. He plummeted from his overwhelming surprise and shyness, crashing into an icy abyss of "misunderstanding" and "unrequited love."
The blush on her face quickly faded, replaced by disbelief, astonishment, and embarrassment, while the tips of her ears were so red they looked like they were about to bleed.
"I...I didn't..." He stammered, trying to explain that he didn't want to sleep on the sofa alone, but when he saw Qi Shuo's calm and even slightly mocking expression, he couldn't say anything.
A huge sense of loss welled up inside him, making his nose sting and his eyes redden.
Seeing Qi Shuo really turn to walk towards the bedroom, Tan Huaiyu panicked. Forgetting all shame and reserve, he suddenly reached out from under the blanket, grabbed Qi Shuo's waist, buried his face in the back of his pajamas, and spoke in a muffled voice, thick with nasal tone and obvious coquettishness:
"Don't go... Qi Shuo... The sofa is cold... I want... to stay with you..."
The last few words were spoken so softly they were like a mosquito's hum, but their meaning couldn't be clearer.
Qi Shuo stopped in his tracks. The warmth and strength from his waist, and the damp, dependent rubbing against him from behind, tickled his nerves like feathers.
He closed his eyes, suppressing the sudden surge of emotion and a deeper longing within him.
cannot.
At least not yet.
"Tan Huaiyu," he said, his voice deeper than before, carrying an undeniable calmness, but also a hint of tension, "Let go."
"No..." Tan Huaiyu hugged her even tighter, as if grasping at the last straw.
“We haven’t officially become a couple yet.” Qi Shuo turned to face Tan Huaiyu, gently prying his hands off his waist. The movement wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t forceful either. He looked at Tan Huaiyu’s eyes, which instantly dimmed and were on the verge of tears, and his tone softened slightly, but remained firm. “Some things need to be done step by step. Understand?”
Tan Huaiyu looked into Qi Shuo's calm and composed eyes. There was no disdain, no disgust, not even impatience in them, only a quiet persistence with a plan and bottom line.
He suddenly remembered what Qi Shuo had said during the hug—"I am not someone who can compromise."
Yes, Qi Shuo is not one to compromise. What he wants is clarity and transparency.
It was after winter, after truly deep thought and without any reservations.
Instead of starting hastily by taking advantage of the atmosphere and impulse, blurring boundaries.
I was a little too cocky and overconfident just now.
Once Tan Huaiyu understood this, her feelings of grievance and disappointment did not lessen, but she gained a bit more understanding and frustration.
He slowly released his grip, lowered his head, and dared not look at Qi Shuo again. His voice was soft, carrying a sense of remorse: "...I understand."
Seeing his instantly deflated and pitiful appearance, Qi Shuo's hardened principles began to waver.
He reached out and gently ruffled Tan Huaiyu's soft hair, his gesture soothing: "Go to your room and sleep, the bed is comfortable."
“…Hmm.” Tan Huaiyu responded sullenly, slowly got up from the sofa, hugged the blanket Qi Shuo had covered him with, and shuffled towards the bedroom, looking back every few steps.
That figure, no matter how you look at it, exudes a sense of desolation and grievance after being "cruelly rejected".
Qi Shuo stood under the dim light of the living room, watching him slowly move into the bedroom and close the door, before letting out a long, almost inaudible sigh of relief.
God knows how much willpower he used to restrain himself from turning around and pulling Tan Huaiyu into his arms when she hugged his waist and acted coquettishly.
He walked to the sofa and sat down. The sofa still seemed to retain Tan Huaiyu's body heat and that faint scent of grass. Qi Shuo raised his hand and rubbed his face vigorously, his fingertips seemingly still able to feel the delicate, soft touch of Tan Huaiyu's cheek when he had pinched it earlier.
Winter is still long.
However, some rules must be followed before actually crossing that line.
This is not only about being responsible to Tan Huaiyu.
It is also a responsibility to himself and to the fragile yet precious possibility that they have painstakingly rebuilt between them.
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