Why bother?
The noise of the birthday party slowly receded like the tide.
The living room was a mess of cups and plates, but the air was still filled with the lingering aroma of food, the sweetness of cream, and the warm, lively atmosphere that belongs to home.
Qin Zhou and Song Yungui were sent to wash up and go to bed early by Sister Jin. Lin Ye helped Xiao Jue clear the dishes, moving gently so as not to wake the people on the sofa.
Qi Shuo, unaware of what had happened, leaned against the soft corner of the sofa and fell into a deep sleep.
He was fast asleep, his breathing even and deep. The slight furrow between his brows had relaxed. His long eyelashes cast quiet shadows under his eyelids, and his face still carried a hint of the effects of alcohol and the serenity that came after his fatigue had subsided.
This was the first time since that desperate birthday night more than four months ago that he had slept so soundly and so unguardedly without the aid of medication.
Sister Jin quietly brought over a thin blanket and carefully covered him with it. Looking at his sleeping profile, her eyes were slightly red, but the corners of her mouth held a relieved smile. She gestured for Xiao Jue and Lin Ye to be even gentler.
It wasn't until 2 a.m. that everything was finally tidied up. Xiao Jue and Lin Ye carried several large bags of trash, quietly said goodbye to Sister Jin, closed the door, and walked into the quiet alley in the dead of night.
The late autumn night was bitterly cold. The dim yellow glow of the streetlights appeared somewhat hazy in the chilly air. The alley was deserted, save for the howling wind whistling through the bare branches.
Just as he stepped out of the alley, Xiao Jue stopped in his tracks. Lin Ye also stopped and followed his gaze.
In the shade of the old locust tree across the alley stood a slender figure. It was Tan Huaiyu.
He was wearing a thin jacket, which he left unzipped, letting the cold wind blow in.
He just stood there blankly, head down, hands in his coat pockets, shoulders slightly hunched.
The dim streetlights outlined his blurry silhouette, obscuring his expression; all that could be felt was an overwhelming loneliness and…sorrow.
I don't know how long he had been standing there, but his exposed cheeks and nose were red from the cold, and his lips were a little purple.
Xiao Jue and Lin Ye exchanged a glance, a complex emotion flashing in each other's eyes.
Lin Ye silently took the bag of trash from Xiao Jue's hand, gestured with his eyes to the trash can across the street, and then quietly walked over, leaving them the space.
Xiao Jue didn't move, simply standing there quietly watching Tan Huaiyu. A cold wind swirled a few withered leaves, passing between the two of them.
Seemingly sensing the gaze, Tan Huaiyu slowly raised his head. His face appeared unusually pale under the light, and his amber eyes were bloodshot, as if he had been crying or had stayed up all night.
When he saw Xiao Jue, his lips moved a few times before he uttered a very soft, trembling question: "Brother Xiao Jue, Brother Qi Shuo... is he asleep?"
His voice was so hoarse that it seemed to be blown away by the wind.
Looking at him like this, Xiao Jue couldn't quite describe how he felt.
He nodded, his voice calm and even: "Yes, I'm going to sleep."
Upon hearing this answer, Tan Huaiyu seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, yet also felt even more distressed.
He lowered his eyelashes, remained silent for a few seconds, and then, as if making a decision, took his hand out of his pocket.
In his hand, he tightly clutched a small, square box simply wrapped in dark blue velvet paper, tied with a crooked silver ribbon knot.
He took two steps forward, came to Xiao Jue, and handed him the small box with an almost reverent and careful gesture.
"Brother Xiao Jue," he looked up at Xiao Jue with his moist, pleading eyes, "Could you please give this to Brother Qi Shuo for me?"
Xiao Jue did not take it immediately; his gaze remained fixed on the box.
Tan Huaiyu took a deep breath of the cold air, as if to give himself some courage, and explained in a low voice, "It's a bookmark. I... I carved it myself. I carved a line of poetry on it..."
His voice trailed off, tinged with embarrassment, "Wish him a happy birthday for me..."
Xiao Jue's brows furrowed almost imperceptibly. He could certainly see the thoughtfulness behind the gift.
The rosewood was of excellent quality and polished smooth; the rose itself was carved remarkably lifelike. While the English lettering was slightly clumsy in its strokes, its neat layout clearly showed a great deal of time and effort had been invested.
This gift is more precious than anything that can be bought with money, and... it also makes one feel heavier.
He raised his eyes, his gaze sharp as he looked at Tan Huaiyu. His tone was indifferent, yet incisive: "You know perfectly well he won't accept it. Why bother?"
These words were like a needle, piercing Tan Huaiyu's most painful spot. His body trembled violently, and the knuckles of his fingers, gripping the box, turned white from the force.
He lowered his head, forcing a bitter smile that looked more like a grimace: "I know, I know he won't want me... He must hate me..."
His voice was choked with emotion, but he stubbornly refused to let the tears fall.
He raised his head again, looking at Xiao Jue with an almost broken, desperate gaze, and repeated, "But I want to give it to you. Brother Xiao Jue, please, just this once... just this once..."
"Please..."
The last three words were so soft they were almost inaudible, yet they contained immense sorrow and despair.
Xiao Jue looked at him, this stubborn, proud, and pitiful boy, who at this moment resembled a small, homeless animal drenched in rain. He remained silent for a long time, with only the howling wind in the alley. Finally, he sighed almost inaudibly, reached out, and took the velvet box that still held the cool warmth of Tan Huaiyu's palm.
The box was very light, yet it felt as heavy as a thousand pounds.
"Why do you have to do this?" Xiao Jue looked into his eyes and asked again. This time, his voice was less cold and more complex.
It was blame, helplessness, and perhaps, a very faint trace of...pity.
Tan Huaiyu did not answer. The moment he took the box, it was as if all his strength had been drained away, and his shoulders slumped down. Yet, it was as if he had accomplished something extremely important, and his whole body showed a kind of exhausted relaxation.
He gave Xiao Jue an extremely pale yet unusually genuine smile: "Thank you... thank you, Brother Xiao Jue."
Xiao Jue didn't say anything more. He casually put the box into his coat pocket, then turned around and walked towards Lin Ye, who was waiting across the street, without looking back at the figure still standing in the cold wind.
Tan Huaiyu watched Xiao Jue's figure disappear around the street corner before his tense body finally relaxed completely.
He slowly leaned against the cold wall behind him, looked up at the starless night sky filled with only dark ink, and let out a long, long sigh, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders.
Then, he turned his head and looked towards the window with a warm light shining deep in the alley—the direction of Sister Jin's house, and also the place where Qi Shuo slept peacefully. He murmured softly, in a voice only he could hear:
Happy birthday, Qi Shuo.
The sound dissipated in the wind, carrying with it endless longing and sorrow.
Xiao Jue walked across the street, where Lin Ye had already thrown away his trash and was standing by the car waiting for him. Xiao Jue opened the car door and got into the driver's seat, while Lin Ye quietly got into the passenger seat.
The car started and drove into the quiet street. For a moment, the car was very quiet, with only the low rumble of the engine.
Xiao Jue glanced at the small velvet box that had been placed in his coat pocket, his feelings a mix of emotions.
He didn't plan to give this to Qi Shuo for the time being. Qi Shuo had finally had a good night's sleep and a relatively happy night, and he didn't want to break that peace so soon with a gift full of entanglements.
“Brother,” Lin Ye, who had been silent all along, suddenly spoke, breaking the silence in the car. His voice was hesitant, “There’s something… I don’t know if I should say it.”
Xiao Jue looked straight ahead and hummed in response, "What is it?"
Lin Ye carefully considered his words before saying, "I ran into Senior Ning Wan at Beicheng University before National Day."
Xiao Jue's grip on the steering wheel tightened almost imperceptibly, but his tone remained calm: "Oh? How is she?"
“She…” Lin Ye paused, as if recalling the scene, “She looked…very bad. She was much thinner than when she last came to our house for dinner, her complexion was terrible, and she had no energy. When she saw me, she seemed very surprised, and then…then she hurriedly hid away, as if she was very afraid of me.”
Xiao Jue frowned slightly.
Ning Wan is not doing well? This was somewhat unexpected.
He originally thought that she had chosen to disappear on her own initiative, perhaps because she was tired of it, or perhaps because she was afraid of Qi Shuo's past.
But if she's not doing well... is there some hidden reason? But this thought only flashed through his mind. He quickly suppressed this doubt.
In any case, the most important thing is that she has disappeared from Qi Shuo's life.
Qi Shuo could no longer withstand any more turmoil.
“Hmm,” Xiao Jue replied calmly, “What happens to her is none of our business. As long as she doesn’t bother Qi Shuo anymore, that’s fine.”
Lin Ye nodded in agreement, but then added, "There's one more thing... Actually, before the holiday, Senior Ning Wan came to our classroom to see me."
Xiao Jue was genuinely surprised this time, and glanced at Lin Ye: "She's looking for you?"
“Yes,” Lin Ye continued, “she asked me how Qi Shuo was doing lately, and whether he was doing well. Then, she gave me her contact information.”
Xiao Jue's brows furrowed even more.
Lin Ye's voice lowered, carrying a hint of barely perceptible apology: "This afternoon, before the birthday party, she texted me saying that she made a batch of cookies and wanted to give them to Brother Qi Shuo as a birthday present. She didn't dare to deliver them herself, afraid that Brother Qi Shuo wouldn't want to see her, so... she asked me to pass them on."
Xiao Jue fell silent.
Lin Ye took a deep breath and said the last and most important part: "At the time... I also wanted to learn how to bake some cookies for Qi Shuo to try, so I agreed. Then... I baked a batch myself. I mixed in the ones she made. Just now... some of the cookies that Qi Shuo ate... were made by Senior Ning Wan."
The carriage fell into a deathly silence.
Xiao Jue slammed on the brakes, slowly pulling the car to a stop on the side of the road. He turned around and looked at Lin Ye in disbelief.
This boy, who usually seems quiet and even somewhat introverted, actually did something so... bold and delicate.
Lin Ye felt uneasy under Xiao Jue's gaze and explained in a low voice, "Brother, I didn't mean to hide it from you, nor did I want to interfere... I just, I just felt that Senior Ning Wan didn't seem like the kind of person who would... disappear for no reason."
"When she handed me the cookies today, her eyes were red, as if she had been crying for a long time. She stuffed the cookies into my hand, said 'Please,' and then turned and ran away... I watched her running figure disappear into the distance; she was crying all the way away."
“I didn’t want to upset Qi Shuo, he had just gotten a little better. But I don’t think Ning Wan is a bad person either. Her feelings… shouldn’t be ruined like this. So, I used this clumsy method.”
Xiao Jue remained silent for a long time. He leaned back in his seat, lit a cigarette, rolled down the car window, and let the cold night wind blow in. His face was inscrutable in the swirling smoke.
Ning Wan's tears, her worries, her careful entrustment, and Lin Ye's description of her hasty departure and weeping figure... these fragments piece together a story version that is completely different from "actively abandoning".
If Ning Wan's disappearance was not voluntary, if she had her own compelling reasons, if she is still suffering from pain and longing...
Then what about the pain of betrayal and self-doubt that Qi Shuo has endured over the past four months?
What role did Tan Huaiyu play in all of this?
A chilling thought quietly surfaced in Xiao Jue's mind. But he dared not think about it deeply, nor did he want to delve into it further.
The truth is often more cruel than a lie.
Perhaps, not knowing is the best protection for Qi Shuo right now.
However, the girl's tears and feelings did exist in reality, and by a twist of fate, they arrived on Qi Shuo's twenty-seventh birthday in this way.
Xiao Jue stubbed out his cigarette and restarted the car.
The carriage remained silent, but a heavy and complex atmosphere permeated the space between the two.
The truth is like a stone thrown into a deep pool; it sinks, but inevitably, it creates ripples that cannot be ignored.
The night grew deeper.
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