Ranranzang
Meanwhile, at the teachers' apartments.
Shen Ci woke up very early. Or rather, he barely slept all night.
The gentle touch on his cheek, Qi Shuo's cold and angry gaze, Qing Ran's peaceful face nestled in his arms as she slept, and his own uncontrollable heartbeat... all sorts of images and feelings intertwined in his mind, leaving him in a state of utter confusion.
He never imagined that he would develop such complex and unfamiliar feelings for a girl with the mind of a child.
Is it pity, responsibility, habitual gentleness, or... something else?
He dared not think too deeply about it.
Morning light streamed in through the gaps in the curtains. Shen Ci got up, went to the bathroom, and washed his face with cold water. The man in the mirror had faint dark circles under his eyes, and his expression carried an unusual weariness and a hint of confusion.
He reached out and touched his cheek again. There were no marks left, but the feeling was still so clear.
He should keep his distance.
Reason told him that Qingran's situation was special, and Qi Shuo was extremely wary. Any feelings that went beyond the scope of "teacher" or "brother" could bring trouble or even harm Qingran.
But his emotions were screaming. He remembered her innocent smile, her dependent eyes, her unconditional trust, and the pure joy he felt at the amusement park yesterday... He couldn't harden his heart to distance himself or draw a clear line.
What's more, he promised to teach her a new origami technique today.
Shen Ci looked at himself in the mirror and gave a wry smile. When did his promise to this young girl become so important, so compelling that even with his troubled mind, he still wanted to keep it?
He changed his clothes, tidied his slightly messy hair, and tried to look more presentable. His gaze fell on the desk, where a stack of brand-new colored craft paper and an origami book he had specially found for beginners were laid out. He had promised Qingran yesterday that he would teach her how to fold a jumping little frog, even more intricate than the last one.
The doorbell rang just as he was staring blankly at the stack of colored paper.
Shen Ci's heart skipped a beat for no apparent reason.
He steadied himself, walked over, and opened the door.
Outside the door stood Tan Huaiyu, and Qing Ran—her eyes sparkling, filled with undisguised excitement and a touch of nervousness, looking up at him with her small face.
"Brother Chen!" Qingran's voice was as clear and bright as ever, filled with pure joy.
Shen Ci's gaze fell on her face. The girl's smile was so pure and innocent, as if the unexpected "kiss" last night and the possible turmoil this morning had never happened.
She was simply happy to see him and to be able to learn origami.
At this moment, all the confusion, hesitation, and even the hidden sense of guilt in Shen Ci's heart seemed to be washed away by this clean smile.
He bent down to meet her gaze, trying to make his voice sound as gentle and calm as usual:
"Ranran is here. Have you had breakfast?"
"I've already eaten!" Qingran nodded vigorously, then, as if remembering something, a hint of embarrassment appeared on her face, and her voice softened, "Brother Chen, yesterday...did I drool and get your clothes dirty?"
Shen Ci was taken aback, then realized that this was probably the result of Qi Shuo's "interrogation". He felt a little relieved, but also had some indescribable feelings. He gently shook his head and said softly, "No, Ranran slept very well."
Qingran immediately breathed a sigh of relief, and her smile returned to its bright state.
Tan Huaiyu stood behind, taking in the entire interaction between the two, especially the change in Shen Ci's eyes when he saw Qing Ran.
He sighed inwardly, stepped forward, and handed a small paper bag to Shen Ci, his tone as usual: "Teacher Shen, I'm sorry to bother you. This is some extra steamed buns that we made this morning, they're still warm, so I brought some for you. Please take care of Ranran, I'll pick her up this afternoon."
Shen Ci took the still-warm paper bag and naturally understood that it was not just a steamed bun, but also a silent warning and a reminder of boundaries.
His expression remained unchanged as he nodded: "Thank you. It's no trouble at all, I'll take good care of Ranran."
Tan Huaiyu gave Qingran a few more instructions before leaving.
The door closed, leaving only Shen Ci and Qing Ran in the apartment.
In the quiet space, they could almost hear each other's soft breathing. Shen Ci looked at the girl who was gazing at him with complete trust, and the uncontrollable heartbeat he had felt last night seemed to be showing signs of returning.
He took a deep breath, suppressing the strange feeling in his heart, and stepped aside: "Come in, it's cold outside."
"Mmm!" Qingran replied happily, stepping into this space that was already somewhat familiar to her and filled her with a sense of security.
But Shen Ci knew that the real torment might have only just begun.
The late autumn sunlight streamed through the glass windows of the first-year high school Chinese language group office, warmly bathing Shen Ci's desk.
The lesson plans had been corrected, and the lesson preparation book lay open in front of him, but he was somewhat absent-minded. His fingertips unconsciously swiped across the phone screen, eventually stopping at a photo in his album.
The photos were "created" by Qingran a few days ago while she was playing with his phone. The little girl was full of curiosity about smart devices, but she didn't know how to use them. She randomly pressed buttons on the phone, and the front camera was accidentally turned on. As a result, hundreds of selfies and "taken by others" with strange angles, some blurry and some clear, but without exception, all of them showed her pure smile or funny expressions.
Shen Ci flipped through the photos one by one, looking at the girl in them, sometimes smiling foolishly at the camera, sometimes curiously examining the phone frame, sometimes accidentally capturing the ceiling, the floor, or even a corner of his sleeve... A gentle smile unconsciously spread across his eyes. Those unintentionally captured moments, clumsy yet vivid, were like uncut gems, reflecting the simple and bright light of her world.
I won't see her today.
Qi Shuo took her to the hospital for her regular check-up. The office felt strangely empty and...uncomfortable without that little figure who would occasionally run in, calling "Brother Chen" in her clear voice, or quietly playing with a puzzle and occasionally glancing up at him with a smile. Even the noisy birdsong outside the window seemed somewhat desolate.
Shen Ci stared at the photo of Qing Ran making a crooked "V" sign for the camera, the smile still lingering on his lips—
"Teacher Shen, what are you looking at so intently?"
A soft female voice suddenly sounded behind me, carrying just the right amount of curiosity and intimacy.
Shen Ci's back stiffened almost imperceptibly, and his fingertips reflexively turned off his phone screen. The gentle smile on his face vanished the moment he turned away, replaced by his usual warm demeanor tinged with a slight distance. "It's nothing."
He looked at his female colleague Han Shuang, who had somehow walked up behind him.
Han Shuang is a very beautiful female teacher with a gentle temperament and good teaching ability. She and Shen Ci were admitted to Beicheng No.1 Middle School in the same batch, and the two were high school classmates.
This shared history gave Han Shuang a familiarity with Shen Ci that she didn't share with others after joining the company.
At this moment, she stood by Shen Ci's desk, her gaze seemingly unintentionally sweeping over the phone he was holding before returning to his face, a polite smile playing on her lips.
Shen Ci didn't want to talk much, and he didn't want to put Qing Ran under any possible gossip. He placed his phone face down on the table, picked up a pen, and made a gesture as if to continue working.
However, Han Shuang's glance just now was enough to clearly see the smiling girl on the screen.
She furrowed her carefully drawn eyebrows slightly, as if trying to recall, before asking softly with a hint of uncertainty, "Was that... Ms. Jin's little girl? The one who often comes to see you?"
Shen Ci's fingers paused slightly. He didn't look up, but nodded almost imperceptibly, as if acknowledging her. A hint of displeasure rose within him. He disliked this kind of probing, especially when it concerned Qing Ran.
Looking at Shen Ci's indifferent profile, which clearly didn't want to talk much, Han Shuang recalled the gentle way she had seen him patiently walking and talking with that girl on campus recently—a gentleness she had never seen Shen Ci show to anyone else, including her, his old classmate. An indescribable bitterness and unease quietly crept into her heart.
She clenched her fists, maintaining her smile, but the smile didn't reach her eyes, and her voice took on a subtle, high-pitched quality that she herself didn't realize:
“Shen Ci, you’re so good to that little girl…” She paused, as if joking, or perhaps testing the waters, “So good that it’s making us colleagues a little curious.”
The voice was neither too loud nor too soft, but it was loud enough for several male teachers who were chatting at the other end of the office to hear.
One of the teachers, Ms. Zhao, who was usually a bit gossipy and liked to ask questions, immediately turned around upon hearing this. With an unsettling smile that mixed with contempt and curiosity, she raised her voice and said, "That's right, Ms. Shen. Why are you so concerned about that little idiot? I heard she's not very bright and is always acting silly."
The word "idiot" was like two cold needles, piercing Shen Ci's eardrums unexpectedly.
His hand gripping the pen tightened suddenly, his knuckles turning slightly white, his brows furrowing deeply. He looked up at Teacher Zhao with an unprecedentedly cold gaze.
Teacher Zhao seemed oblivious to Shen Ci's displeasure, or perhaps she deliberately ignored it.
He probably felt he had found a topic that would attract everyone's attention, and he became even more enthusiastic. He leaned forward, lowered his voice, but it was enough for everyone in the office to hear clearly. His tone carried a smug and cruel air of sharing a secret:
"Hey, you guys don't know, do you? My wife's family has a relative who used to live in the same neighborhood as that girl. I heard her brother, that Qi Shuo, used to be a ruthless character. He's killed people and been to jail! It caused quite a stir a few years ago!"
The office fell silent instantly, save for Teacher Zhao's boastful and malicious voice, which echoed in the air. The other teachers exchanged glances, some showing surprise, others frowning, clearly feeling that it was inappropriate to discuss such matters in the office.
Shen Ci's face darkened, his eyes sharp as knives, shooting straight at the spittle-flecked Teacher Zhao.
Teacher Zhao was completely unaware, or rather, it was Shen Ci's usual gentle and refined image that led him to misjudge, thinking that the other party was just a good-tempered scholar.
He became even more excited, licked his lips, and in a more secretive and filthy tone, dropped the bombshell that was enough to utterly destroy a person:
"And besides, do you know how that little fool became an idiot?" He paused deliberately, looked around, enjoying the thrill of controlling others' attention, and then said, word by word, in a tone that was a mixture of lewdness and "pity":
"When I was little, I was raped! Tsk tsk, I was only a few years old, I think, and then I went crazy and became the stupid person I am now."
"boom--"
Shen Ci felt as if something had suddenly exploded in his mind.
Blood rushed to my head, then froze in the next second. It felt like all the blood in my body was flowing backwards. All I could hear was a buzzing roar and that demonic word echoing repeatedly in my ears—
Strong, jian.
How old are you?
They've gone mad.
He had previously speculated about the cause of Qingran's mental impairment. It might be a congenital disease, an accident, or some other unfortunate experience.
He carefully avoided touching her wounds, hoping to slowly cover them up with the warmth of the present and the future.
But he never imagined that the truth would be so cruel, so dirty, so... outrageous.
How much pain, fear, and despair must a child of only a few years old have felt at that time? He couldn't even bear to imagine a single one of those cruel details.
And this person in front of me, this hypocritical beast disguised as a teacher, actually used such a frivolous, despicable, and relishful tone to treat other people's bloody scars as gossip fodder, wantonly exposing and trampling on them.
The string of reason snapped in the face of extreme anger and heartache.
The next second, to everyone's astonishment, Shen Ci suddenly sprang up from his seat, the chair legs scraping against the ground with a screeching sound. Like a lion that had been completely enraged, he strode over to Teacher Zhao with an aura of destruction!
Before the smugness and lewdness on Teacher Zhao's face could fade, they turned into horror! Before he could react, a fist carrying a strong gust of wind slammed into his face.
"Shut up!" Shen Ci let out a low growl from deep in his throat. His voice was hoarse, full of rage and pain, completely unlike his usual gentle and clear tone.
"Bang!" A punch landed on the bridge of Zhao's nose, and Zhao screamed in pain, falling backward as blood gushed out instantly.
Shen Ci showed no sign of stopping. He pounced on Teacher Zhao, straddling him, and rained down punches on her disgusting face.
His eyes were bloodshot, and the veins on his forehead bulged. His hands, which were usually used to hold a pen and had distinct knuckles, had become the most ferocious weapons. Every punch was filled with a ruthless intent to tear his opponent apart.
"I'll teach you to talk nonsense! I'll teach you to insult her! You piece of trash!" He shouted through gritted teeth as he hit her, his voice trembling with extreme anger.
The office erupted into chaos instantly, filled with screams, shouts of people trying to break up the fight, and the thud of chairs falling over. Several male teachers rushed over, frantically trying to pull Shen Ci away. "Teacher Shen! Teacher Shen, calm down!"
"Stop hitting him! Someone's going to die!"
"Stop it!"
Han Shuang was already terrified, her face pale. She hid to the side, covering her mouth, staring incredulously at the completely unfamiliar Shen Ci, who seemed to have gone mad.
Shen Ci was held back by three or four people, but he still struggled. His bloodshot eyes were fixed on Teacher Zhao, who was lying on the ground with a bloody face and was wailing incessantly. The murderous intent in his eyes made everyone who tried to break up the fight feel a chill down their spines.
In this chaotic moment, when the air was almost still—
A slender figure had quietly appeared at the office doorway sometime earlier.
She was wearing a pale yellow sweater, holding a worn-out rabbit doll in her arms. Her face was deathly pale, and her amber eyes were wide open, staring blankly at the mess in the office, at Shen Ci, who was being pulled around by the crowd, his face contorted with pain, and at Teacher Zhao, who was lying on the ground covered in blood and looking utterly disheveled.
Those filthy, cruel words, those references to "idiot," "murderer brother," "raped," and "insane," were like poisoned ice picks, piercing her ears and her heart without missing a single one.
Then, she opened her mouth, her voice very soft, like a feather about to shatter in the wind, yet it clearly reached every corner of the deathly silent office:
"Ranran...is not stupid."
Time seemed to stand still at that moment.
The teachers who were trying to break up the fight stopped, and even the wailing Teacher Zhao forgot to cry out in pain. Everyone followed Shen Ci's stiff gaze and looked towards the door.
Qingran held the doll tightly, her knuckles turning bluish-white. She stood there, like a porcelain doll that had lost all life.
Shen Ci froze completely.
All the anger, all the violence, all the pain, in that instant, were frozen into the deepest despair and coldness by those words, by her empty and calm eyes.
He felt as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over him from head to toe, and even his blood seemed to freeze.
He looked at her, at her pale face, at her lifeless eyes, and felt as if an invisible hand was gripping his throat, preventing him from making a sound.
No…it shouldn’t be that she heard it…it shouldn’t be that she saw it…it shouldn’t be like this…
"Ranran..." He finally found his voice, hoarse and broken, filled with sobs.
He abruptly broke free from the person still holding him, staggered forward, and tried to hug her, to cover her eyes, to tell her that it was all fake, all a nightmare…
His hands trembled as he pulled her stiff, cold body tightly into his embrace, his arms gripping her so tightly that she would shatter and vanish if he let go. He repeated her words incoherently in her ear over and over, his voice choked with emotion, and hot tears unexpectedly streamed down his face, splashing onto her hair and the crook of her neck:
“I know, I know… Ranran isn’t stupid… Our Ranran is the smartest, the best… Don’t be afraid, Brother Chen is here, don’t be afraid…”
He felt the coldness and stiffness of the body in his arms, and the subtle, uncontrollable trembling. His heart ached, and he wished he could tear that Zhao man to pieces, and even more, he wished he could go back a few minutes to cover her ears and take her away from this filthy place.
Qingran did not struggle, nor did she hug him back as she usually did.
She simply sat quietly and stiffly in his arms. A long, long time passed, so long that Shen Ci's tears soaked her collar, before she moved very, very slightly.
She gently pushed Shen Ci's chest, the force not strong, but carrying an irresistible, cold resolve.
Shen Ci shuddered and subconsciously loosened his grip slightly.
Qingran stepped out of his embrace. She looked up at his tear-streaked face and the unfathomable pain and panic in his eyes.
Her expression was calm, eerily calm. Her usually clear and innocent eyes were now like two bottomless, icy pools, reflecting no light whatsoever.
She looked at him, her voice still soft, yet each word clear, like a dull knife slowly cutting into Shen Ci's already bleeding heart:
“Brother Shen, Ranran is dirty.”
She paused, as if using all her strength, before saying the rest of her sentence:
"Don't hug Ranran anymore."
After saying that, she stopped looking at Shen Ci's face, which had turned deathly pale and was now swaying precariously, and stopped looking at anyone else in the office.
She turned around, hugged the rabbit doll in her arms tightly, and walked slowly, yet with unusual determination, towards the other end of the corridor—towards Sister Jin's office.
The small, pale yellow figure looked so lonely and fragile in the empty corridor, yet she straightened her back and walked step by step toward what she considered to be the only safe zone.
Sunlight streamed in obliquely from the window at the end of the corridor, casting a long, long shadow of hers, but it couldn't penetrate her empty eyes.
Shen Ci stood there, like a sculpture whose soul had been instantly drained.
He watched that figure walk away little by little, watching the world he had carefully protected and cherished silently collapse and shatter before his eyes.
Tears, large and unexpected, rolled down again. They landed silently on the cold floor tiles, yet with a weight as heavy as a thousand pounds.
He knew that some things had changed completely at that moment.
Some damage, once caused, can never be repaired.
Some lights, once extinguished, may never shine again.
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