Ambiguous love
What can we do? What should we do?
Nie Jiayuan couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she pointed worriedly at the steering wheel and said, "Honey, how about I drive? I'm a little scared too."
Bai Yixia gave her another reproachful look, then immediately suppressed her sadness and coldly started the car.
Nie Jiayuan chuckled and tried to smooth things over, "Hey Xiaxia, what's it to you? I've never really understood why you like him."
Nie Jiayuan and Zhou Qingchi weren't actually that familiar with each other. When Jiang Yinghua was extremely busy, she would leave her son with her neighbor across the street, but her parents preferred to leave her with her maternal grandparents.
She and Bai Yixia got along well, largely because of Bai Yixia's personality—he was naturally outgoing and cheerful, and as a child, he took advantage of his cuteness to be affectionate with everyone. Another part of it was because of their parents' friendship.
Of course, Nie Jiayuan's parents weren't completely unwilling to leave their child with the Bai family, so Nie Jiayuan was familiar with Zhou Qingchi but not as familiar with Bai Yixia.
Nie Jiayuan had only two opinions about Zhou Qingchi: he was a slacker and a dog.
She clearly remembered that Zhou Qingchi didn't smile much when she was little, he often had a blank face, and he rarely responded when she spoke to him.
As she grew up, it was as if she was possessed by something; she always had a gentle and warm smile on her face, making it seem as if she had a memory problem.
But there's no use bringing that up now. Nie Jiayuan scrolled through her phone, her eyes darting around, "How about I recommend something to you—hey hey hey hey, red light!"
Bai Yixia slammed on the brakes, while Nie Jiayuan in the passenger seat was still in shock. "Damn it, I didn't do anything to deserve death, did I?"
Bai Yixia was speechless. "It was the car in front that was dawdling. Don't question Master Bai's skills so easily!"
She peeked at Nie Jiayuan's phone while the light was red, then shook her head: "Don't introduce me to anyone, I don't like it."
"We haven't even met." Nie Jiayuan rolled her eyes without any hesitation. "I don't know what kind of spell Zhou Qingchi cast on you."
Cheng Baiyi drove steadily in the car behind, but when he occasionally glanced at Nie Jiayuan, he noticed that she was gripping the handle tightly, looking as if she was ready to die.
Bai Yixia felt relieved again.
When I got home, my parents hadn't come back yet, and I specifically told the aunt that I didn't need to come today. Bai Yixia loves to experiment with desserts, but she can never quite get the amount of seasonings right for Chinese food.
Not wanting to waste good ingredients, she didn't cook, but instead made two bowls of instant noodles.
Just as the noodles were being served, Nie Jiayuan walked in. She called out from the kitchen, "Jiajia, the noodles are ready. Come and get them yourself."
Nie Jiayuan didn't stand on ceremony with her, and sat down at the table casually, saying in a rather resentful tone, "Guess what I saw when I got home."
Bai Yixia asked in surprise, "What?"
She looked helpless. "They went to such lengths, leaving me a note saying that they finally had a holiday and were going out to enjoy some alone time with me, so they told me to bother you."
Bai Yixia laughed and said, "Then you can play with me, since Zhou Qingchi isn't coming back."
She spoke calmly, not like she was upset or angry, but she held the luncheon meat in her bowl with her chopsticks and didn't eat a bite for a long time.
Nie Jiayuan sighed, "Still thinking about it?"
Bai Yixia put down her chopsticks. "You only think about things if you can't figure them out."
Nie Jiayuan quickly finished the instant noodles in her bowl, calmly wiped her mouth, and said, "I still don't understand why you like him."
Just thinking about Zhou Qingchi's mouth, which could spew out infuriating remarks at any moment, made Nie Jiayuan feel her blood pressure soar.
Bai Yixia replied matter-of-factly, "He's very good to me, he's always been so gentle."
Nie Jiayuan was convinced and silently cursed Zhou Qingchi for his double standards. But after thinking about it, she realized that the way he appeared to others did seem to be gentle, so she asked again, "But isn't he like that to everyone? Like a central air conditioner."
Bai Yixia wanted to say something in defense of Zhou Qingchi, but seeing Nie Jiayuan's expression, she swallowed her words. However, she didn't expect Nie Jiayuan to make an excuse first.
"Well, this is probably one of his few good points."
This time, Bai Yixia couldn't help but whisper, "No, Brother Zhou is really amazing."
As a result, Bai Yixia received a disappointed glare from Nie Jiayuan. She said awkwardly, "Yeah, he's really amazing. He raised Xiao Yan, so we're kind of..."
As she spoke, seeing Nie Jiayuan's increasingly vacant eyes, Bai Yixia didn't dare finish her sentence and dejectedly began poking at the poor piece of luncheon meat again.
Nie Jiayuan had no choice but to stop her. "Stop, stop, stop, darling. Say it again. Besides Zhou Qingchi's gentleness, what else do you like about him?"
Bai Yixia sat up straight immediately, placed her hands on the dining table, leaned forward, and her eyes lit up.
“There are so many! Brother Zhou is very thoughtful. He always notices things that I don’t even notice myself, and then he gives them to me. He also often praises me, saying that I’m very capable and that he can always sense when I’m in a bad mood…” Bai Yixia talked on and on about these things, but the more she talked, the more heartbroken she felt, and finally ended with a long sigh.
Looking up, Nie Jiayuan frowned deeply, as if she had heard something unbelievable.
Bai Yixia said, "Well, it's hard for me to explain, but I suddenly feel that Brother Zhou is different from others. He gets upset when people ask for his contact information, and he was also very unhappy when he heard that he was dating."
Nie Jiayuan snapped out of her daze, carefully savoring the string of evaluations that were so different from the Zhou Qingchi she had in mind, and asked sincerely, "My aunt and uncle and I can do these things too, and we treat Xiao Yan the same way."
What Bai Yixia least wanted to hear was, "Zhou Qingchi would do the same things to Zhou Qingyan." Doesn't that mean Zhou Qingchi has absolutely no other feelings for her?
She immediately made a face and turned her head away, trying to avoid the topic, but Nie Jiayuan said again, "Hey, and the reasons you like him are too broad, they don't relate to Zhou Qingchi at all."
Bai Yixia gritted her teeth and asked in return, "Then what do you like about Qiu Ting?"
Nie Jiayuan raised her head confidently and then repeated Bai Yixia's previous words in a different way.
Bai Yixia: "...?"
Nie Jiayuan: "..."
Bai Yixia opened her mouth, somewhat speechless, and said, "I thought you were a dating expert, that's why I consulted you, but it turns out you're just as bad as me."
Nie Jiayuan tried to justify herself, but after thinking for a long time, she couldn't come up with anything. In despair, she said, "Isn't it because he pursued me? I liked him, so we got together!"
However, she had already lost some of her authority with Bai Yixia, who tilted her head and snorted at her.
Nie Jiayuan chuckled and moved next to Bai Yixia, shaking her arm. "Oh, our Xiaxia, are you angry?"
Bai Yixia wasn't angry, but she was a little doubtful of herself because of what was said. "No, I just don't understand."
I can't understand why I can't say what I like about Zhou Qingchi. I can't understand why I'm always fearless in other areas, but always hesitant and afraid to move forward in this one.
Nie Jiayuan shrugged dismissively and comforted her, "It's not your fault. It's just that liking makes you timid and hesitant."
Bai Yixia nodded: "I'm afraid he won't come back."
Nie Jiayuan racked her brains, "The three of us only separated during college. Will you find it hard to adjust?"
She patted Bai Yixia on the shoulder. "I've had a lot of classes this semester, so I haven't had much time to chat with you. Zhou Qingchi seems to be quite busy with all sorts of competitions. We're not as close as we used to be. Could it be that this difference in schedule has made you dependent on him?"
Nie Jiayuan suddenly had a flash of inspiration, "Just like when you first started kindergarten and didn't want to leave your parents?"
Bai Yixia laughed, tilting her head to lean on Nie Jiayuan's shoulder, "Oh my god, Jiajia, do you still treat me like a child?"
Nie Jiayuan ruffled her hair. "What else? Let me think, who was it that wanted to make friends but was rejected and then burst into tears—"
Bai Yixia blushed and covered her mouth, "Enough! Let's not talk about our embarrassing past anymore!"
Nie Jiayuan nodded with a muffled chuckle, and after she let go of his hand, she said solemnly, "Actually, I've always thought of you as that little sister, always smiling at everyone, without a single guile in your heart."
Bai Yixia was both touched and saddened. She snuggled against her while sobbing, "I'm very touched, but please don't say anything. I'm afraid Zhou Qingchi will think the same way."
"..." This guy is hopelessly in love.
Bai Yixia was stunned for a moment, then suddenly blurted out, "Actually, I'm not that heartless. I'm also afraid that if Brother Zhou hears those words, even if he has some feelings for me, they will gradually fade away."
So Bai Yixia thought, if I like him for a long, long time, and wait two or three years before confessing, wouldn't that prove that I'm not just a three-minute fling, and that I'm very serious about relationships?
Hearing this, Nie Jiayuan felt a surge of anger and said resentfully, "You still remember those bullshit words?" She gritted her teeth, "I really underperformed back then because I didn't go up and tear their mouths apart."
She has a good personality and smiles at everyone; she's polite and greets everyone she sees. Bai Yixia never imagined that these strengths in her parents' eyes would become flaws that others would criticize her for.
If she doesn't recognize someone she smiled at the second time they meet, it's her fault; if she doesn't react to someone she greeted the second time they bump into each other, it's also her fault.
For a while, Bai Yixia really felt like she was having a terrible time. People who hated her suddenly appeared in droves, like cockroaches, and everyone was talking about her.
Being friends with someone like her means you'll eventually be forgotten and forgotten, relegated to some unknown page in your phone's contact list.
She's only interested in making friends for a short time, not sincere in relationships, and a hypocrite.
Bai Yixia, of course, didn't take their words to heart. Her mother taught her to smile and greet people when she met them, as it was a matter of politeness. She also told her that if it wasn't her fault, she didn't need to admit anything others said.
But words buried for a long time will occasionally surface, and while their impact isn't huge, it can't be completely eliminated.
After her feelings for Zhou Qingchi changed, these words often troubled Bai Yixia.
Bai Yixia shook her head. "It's okay, I was overthinking it. You guys are different. You're my best friend, and it's true that you like Zhou Qingchi."
Nie Jiayuan hugged her affectionately, thinking that she might as well just call Zhou Qingchi and find out why he wasn't coming back this time.
But then the doorbell rang.
Bai Yixia opened the door, and Zhou Qingyan's face appeared outside. He was carrying a schoolbag. "Sister Xiaxia, it's finally the holidays! I've come to play games with you!"
Nie Jiayuan's eyes lit up. Wasn't there someone better to ask?
"Xiao Yan".
Zhou Qingyan saw her as soon as he entered the door, and was pleasantly surprised, "Sister Jiajia, you're back too?"
Nie Jiayuan said, "Yes, it's a short holiday. After staying at school for so long, of course we have to go home."
“Yes.” Zhou Qingyan nodded seriously, and said, “Only my brother is like that. That competition is true love. My younger brother can be left at home and ignored.”
Bai Yixia perked up her ears. "Is he busy with the competition?"
Zhou Qingyan hummed in agreement. "Yes, it seems like they're making some kind of little game? I'm not quite sure either, but he said none of his team members are going back, and they're going to make it during the National Day holiday."
Nie Jiayuan felt relieved and gave Bai Yixia a look. Bai Yixia smiled secretly and beckoned to Zhou Qingyan, "Come on, let's play this. Did you save it last time?"
"Yes, yes, yes."
Bai Yixia was controlling the game character. She already believed Zhou Qingchi's words to a large extent, and Xiao Yan's words made her even more reassured.
In the following days, when Bai Yixia sent messages to Zhou Qingchi, she found that it often took two or three hours to receive a reply, guessing that Zhou Qingchi was really busy.
She lost her original National Day plans and didn't want to stay at home, afraid that she would think of Zhou Qingchi all the time.
So I invited a bunch of my high school friends and classmates to hang out, but every time we met, I was asked questions.
"Oh? Zhou Qingchi didn't come with you? That's great. I always feel awkward holding your hand when he's with you."
That's what my classmate said.
This made Bai Yixia really think that Zhou Qingchi also liked her.
Bai Yixia wasted her six-day holiday in a daze. On the last day, she couldn't take it anymore and stayed in bed to catch up on the sleepless nights she had stayed up in the previous days.
Nie Jiayuan hadn't gone out with her for two days. Sitting in the living room, he thought about it and realized that although Bai Yixia seemed happy these past few days, she was actually a little absent-minded.
Especially since every time classmates go out to play, they mention Zhou Qingchi. Isn't this just rubbing salt into someone's wounds?
So she made a decision and sent a message to Zhou Qingchi.
-Add one more Yuan: Are you there? You really upset Xiaxia this time.
After sending the message, Nie Jiayuan planned to log out, since Zhou Qingchi almost never replied to her messages instantly.
But this time, as if seeing a ghost, Zhou Qingchi's message came back immediately.
-Please have some porridge: What's wrong with her?
Nie Jiayuan didn't want to reveal Bai Yixia's feelings, so she just said, "And you're still talking about it. She worked so hard on her National Day plan, and now it's useless. She must be sad."
She waited for a reply, but there was no response for a long time.
Nie Jiayuan gritted her teeth in anger.
Just then, Bai Yixia came out of the bedroom yawning. She was about to speak to Nie Jiayuan when the doorbell rang a few times.
Bai Yixia was still a little groggy after waking up. She slowly went to open the door, and her eyes lit up when she saw the person in front of her.
"Why are you back at this time, Brother Zhou!"
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