Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Anchor of Reason
The note Mu Ye brought, which read "Observation over," was like a cold boulder thrown into an already turbulent pool, stirring up silent waves in Xu Yue's study.
The air seemed to freeze, leaving only the ever-present London night fog outside the window, silently eroding the glass like a living entity.
Xu Yue gripped the thin piece of paper tightly, her knuckles turning slightly white from the force. In her gray eyes, the last trace of hesitation was completely ignited, transforming into an almost stubborn resolve.
BXX not only exists, but has extended its tentacles so close, announcing their surveillance with an almost arrogant attitude. This feeling of being treated as a pawn and a specimen deeply stung her inherent pride and desire for control.
Tracing back to its roots and shifting from a passive to an active approach, she sees it no longer as a personal obsession, but as a strategic necessity concerning the survival of the organization.
“They are there.” Xu Yue’s voice was low and cold, with a metallic edge. She gently placed the note on the heart-shaped wooden table and pushed it toward the ram. “This is not speculation, Dao Si. This is a declaration of war. Until we know why they are targeting us, all our defenses are like the blind men and the elephant.”
Gongyang Yandao did not look at the note; his gaze remained fixed on Xuyue's face.
Those silver-gray eyes, always weary and anxious from overthinking, were now filled with an unprecedented solemnity and... almost painful worry.
The information Mu brought confirmed his worst fears, but it also strengthened his resolve to dissuade him.
“Precisely because they have demonstrated this ability, we must not panic, boss!” The ram’s voice wasn’t loud, but it carried a heavy weight. He stepped forward, placing his hands on the edge of the table and leaning forward, creating a highly authoritative posture—not a provocation, but an earnest one.
"BXX is on a level far beyond any enemy we've faced before. They're shrouded in mystery, and we don't even know their core interests or their operating logic. At this time, actively digging into long-buried past events that might be related to them is tantamount to blindly digging in a minefield! We don't know what we'll detonate!"
He took a deep breath, trying to make his logic clearer and more convincing: "Have you considered this? What if your background is a taboo? A taboo that even a large organization like BXX considers a sensitive topic? Could our investigation become the trigger for them to take more direct and drastic actions? Right now, they are just 'observing.' If we act rashly, we might turn 'observation' into 'elimination'!"
Xu Yue frowned, but she didn't interrupt Gong Yang. She simply gave him a cold look, signaling him to continue.
"Secondly, resources!" Ram's speech quickened, his fingertips unconsciously tapping the table, making a rapid tapping sound, a habitual action when he was extremely anxious. "What situation are we facing now? Lian Yeyi's alliance needs to be consolidated, the newly acquired territory needs to be digested, other covetous gangs need to be deterred, and the personnel who have expanded internally need to be rectified and their loyalty strengthened."
Every bit of manpower, every intelligence lead, and every penny of funding must be used wisely! And how many top-tier resources are needed to investigate a twenty-year-old incident that may have been deliberately erased? Mu Ye's intelligence network must keep a close eye on current threats, and the West Asian action team must deal with a constant stream of provocations.
How many vulnerabilities will our existing defenses be created by diverting these core resources to pursue a vague and uncertain 'truth'? Could this be exactly what BXX wants—to distract us and cause us to destroy our own defenses?
His analysis hit the nail on the head, based entirely on realistic considerations for the organization's survival and development. Xu Yue couldn't deny the correctness of his logic, but her inner impulses, like a wild beast trapped in a cage, were frantically crashing against the fences of reason.
"Just because it's difficult, just because it's dangerous, does that mean we should forever live in ignorance and passivity?" Xu Yue's voice rose slightly, carrying a hint of suppressed anger. "Waiting for them to one day use some 'crime' or 'reason' that we know nothing about..."
"To utterly destroy us? Daosi, to understand the enemy, you must first understand yourself! If my past is the key to understanding why BXX is targeting us, then no matter how dangerous that key is, we must obtain it!"
“But that key might not even exist! Or it might be a trap!” Ram almost growled. He rarely showed such emotion. A few strands of his silver hair fell across his forehead, making him look somewhat disheveled, but also more genuine. “Boss, I’m not just worried about the organization’s safety, I’m even more worried about you!”
He sat bolt upright, pointing his finger at the endless darkness outside the window, his voice trembling slightly with excitement: "Have you considered the consequences of this investigation? What if... what if the truth you uncover is something you can't bear? What if your birth was a mistake, your very existence is some kind of... 'contamination'?" He uttered the word with difficulty.
Just as you yourself suspect? What good does knowing this do for you personally, and for our organization that is united around you?! What can it bring besides pain and division?!
These words were like a poisoned dagger, piercing precisely into Xu Yue's deepest fear. Her face instantly turned pale, her lips pressed into a hard, straight line. A deathly silence fell over the study. Gong Yang's words tore away all the strategic pretense, pointing directly to the cruelest aspects of the human heart.
Seeing her reaction, a hint of regret flashed in Gongyang's eyes, but more so a resolute determination to burn his bridges. He softened his tone, almost pleading, "Boss, the past is dead. It shouldn't, and can't, come back to hurt you now, to destroy everything we've worked so hard to build."
This organization, Xiya, Muye, me… all of us are your true, living present and future. Why… why can't we let go of the past and focus on protecting what we already have?
His words were filled with sincere care, reflecting a guardian's most instinctive and simple wish—to protect those he cherishes from harm and to maintain the hard-won peace and stability.
He witnessed the entire arduous process of building the kingdom from ruins, and he could not bear any risk that might destroy it, especially the risk stemming from a vague "past".
Xu Yue slowly turned around, facing the window again, her back to Gong Yang. Her shoulders seemed to slump slightly, revealing a rare vulnerability. Gong Yang's words, like cold rain, poured over her burning impulse, hissing loudly.
She couldn't refute his cherishing of the "present," because it was also something she was determined to protect with her life. But BXX's cold gaze, like the Sword of Damocles, hung over her head, making it impossible for her to be content with the status quo.
"Doji," she finally spoke after a long silence, her voice regaining its usual calm, but beneath that calm lay an unfathomable weariness and an almost fatalistic resolve, "You're right. The past may be full of poison, and the truth may bring destruction. I also want to do as you hope, to only look ahead and only protect the present."
She paused for a moment, as if gathering her last strength, then slowly turned around, a kind of tragic flame burning in her gray eyes.
"But I can't."
"That night in the monastery, I was abandoned by the whole world. From that moment on, I vowed that I must take my destiny into my own hands. Ignorance is the greatest loss of control."
BXX's spying tells me that my past is not unrelated to me; it has followed me like a ghost. If I don't turn around and face it, it will be behind me, ready to deliver the most fatal blow.
“As for pain…” A faint, almost ethereal smile curved her lips. “From the moment I learned to breathe, I have been tasting pain. I am not afraid of more pain, Daosi. I am only afraid of… dying without knowing why.”
She walked up to the ram, looking at him calmly but with an unquestionable gaze: "I will be cautious, I will use the most discreet methods, I will not use core resources, and I will not risk the organization."
This is the first step I must take. I'm not asking for your permission, Daosi. I need you... as always, to guard the path behind me when I look into the abyss.
Gongyang Yandao stared blankly at her, all his words of dissuasion stuck in his throat. In Xuyue's eyes, he saw that familiar, resolute determination that, once made, was unyielding and impossible to sway.
That was the look in the eyes of someone who had built a kingdom from ruins. He understood; this wasn't a momentary impulse, but the ultimate choice she had made based on her own philosophy of survival.
All his rational analysis, all his worries and fears, seemed pale and powerless in the face of this resolute determination. His way of protecting her was never to change her, but to follow her and do his best to smooth out the thorns on the path she chose.
He took a deep, labored breath, as if trying to inhale the heaviness of the room into his lungs, and then slowly exhale. He straightened his back, and his face regained its usual calm yet anxious expression, only now, beneath that anxiety, lay a hint of helpless resignation and a deeper loyalty.
“I understand, boss.” He lowered his head, his voice hoarse. “I will guard your rear. But please… you must, you must be careful. If there are any signs of danger, we must stop immediately.”
This is the biggest concession he can make, and the most steadfast support he can offer.
Xu Yue nodded and said nothing more. Silence fell again in the study, but this time, a new and more complex tacit understanding had been reached.
The anchor of reason could not hold back the ship determined to sail into the storm, but it promised to become the strongest component on the ship, sailing with it into the unknown abyss.
In a corner unseen by them, BXX's shadow silently grinned a mocking smile. Pandora's box had been given the key to open.
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