Chapter Fifteen: Pillow
Lin Yu felt a sudden, inexplicable panic in the atmosphere, a thin layer of sweat broke out on his back, and he was the first to give in.
"We'll talk about it this afternoon, depending on my mood." As she spoke, she subtly distanced herself from the other person, turned her head away and pretended to study, flipping through her book with a rustling sound, deliberately making unnecessary noise.
Chen Guang got up late and didn't have time for breakfast. He also had a big argument with Lin Yu. Now that he's relaxed, his stomach starts rumbling uncontrollably.
The sound was particularly jarring in the quiet study room. Chen Guang didn't pay it any mind; he often stayed up late playing games and frequently ate irregular meals.
But Lin Yu seemed to have instantly found a weakness in him again, and deliberately provoked a silent conflict. Every now and then, he would turn his head and try to break down the enemy's strong psychological defenses with a merciless eye roll, clearly wanting to turn the tide after his recent defeat.
He clearly remembered that Lin Yu used to share his snacks with Zheng Qi, so why was she so cold and indifferent to him, making him feel inexplicably stifled?
So when she glared at him for the third time, Chen Guang leaned over and tentatively asked, "Didn't you bring any food?"
"No. If you want something to eat, go rummage through the trash!" Lin Yu continued to speak to him using the newly grown mouth on the back of his head.
Chen Guang could only stand up awkwardly and embarrassedly. "Then I'll go buy some things. What do you want to take, my bag?"
Lin Yu ignored the title he had given her, lying on the table with her eyes half-closed, completely disregarding him.
Several days of insomnia left her exhausted. Ever since she learned about Zheng Qi's relationship, her university life had suddenly lost all its color, and she felt as listless as a homeless person who hadn't bathed in years.
These past few days, I've been waking up groggily before dawn, then curling up in bed, staring blankly out the window waiting for daylight.
She had been holding on while arguing with Chen Guang, but now that she had fallen silent, the pent-up fatigue suddenly overwhelmed her.
In her hazy state, she seemed to hear Chen Guang still saying something, but her head was firmly glued to the table, and she didn't even have the strength to lift her head. She remained in this disheveled position and fell into a deep sleep.
Lin Yu initially just lay on the table with her face resting on her elbow, but she didn't sleep soundly. The desks in the study room were too low, and the chair backs were too high, so she had to awkwardly hunch her back. Maintaining this awkward posture for a long time not only made her elbow numb, but also made it difficult for her to breathe properly due to the compression of her trachea, and her stomach felt like it was filled with a balloon that could burst at any moment.
But this was not enough to fully wake Lin Yu. She groaned uncomfortably in her half-awake state, and in her dazed state, she raised her numb elbow and reached for the chair on her right.
Subconsciously, I tried to grab my backpack, which was placed beside me, to use as a pillow. My numb fingers became insensitive to the objects around me. In a daze, I touched a piece of rough fabric, but when I gently tugged at it, it wouldn't budge.
Lin Yu's elbows were weak, and she was too lazy to struggle. She frowned in dissatisfaction, muttered something, and simply closed her eyes and fell down towards what she thought was the location of her schoolbag.
As her head touched the hard "pillow," Lin Yu's back suddenly relaxed, and her trachea became clear. She rubbed against her schoolbag, adjusted to a comfortable position, and finally drifted off to sleep.
Lin Yu didn't know how long he had slept when he suddenly woke up, not because of a nightmare, but because of the intense numbness coming from the arm that was pressing on the side of the chair.
It felt like countless tiny needles were crawling under her skin, like the static on an old television, spreading from her fingertips all the way to her shoulder. She tried to raise her arm, but found that the entire right side of her body was immobile.
She twisted her body and tried to open her eyes, but her entire face was buried under the "backpack," and the surroundings were pitch black.
With her vision obstructed, her hearing became exceptionally sharp. A muffled groan came from above her head. The sound was somewhat familiar, but before Lin Yu could think further, the "backpack" inexplicably moved, and her head was bounced up and down with the shaking of the "backpack".
Lin Yu gradually regained consciousness, stiffly turning her neck to expose her face to the air. When she groggily opened her eyes and focused, her heart skipped a beat. She held her breath, staring wide-eyed in astonishment at Chen Guang's face, which was so close yet so high above her.
As if unable to face reality, she still stubbornly used her other, temporarily functioning hand to touch the "backpack" under her head. This touch made her feel even more clearly the firm muscle texture wrapped under the denim fabric, and she even dared to squeeze it without fear of death.
Seeing Chen Guang's twitching lips, Lin Yu paused, finally having to admit that he had actually fallen asleep on Chen Guang's lap. As for where his face had rubbed against, it was impossible to tell.
Turning her head for a closer look, she noticed a small, suspicious damp patch on the thigh where Lin Yu had lain, with a thin strand of saliva connecting it to the corner of her mouth. Lin Yu quickly wiped her mouth to destroy the evidence, all in one swift motion. Chen Guang witnessed this entire sequence of actions.
At this moment, Chen Guang's face turned a deep purplish-red, and Lin Yu could see that his wheat-colored neck was so red it looked like it was about to bleed, whether from anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell.
Chen Guang remained motionless, his brows furrowed, as if his brain had crashed, bending over and staring down at her. He was like a rigid welding rod, determined to burn two holes in her face before he would stop.
How much longer do you plan to lie there?
Being so close, Chen Guang's breath hit Lin Yu's face as he spoke, causing Lin Yu to squint. "You did this on purpose, didn't you? You didn't wake me up."
Feeling guilty, she tried to sit up and break free from the awkward situation, but Chen Guang clearly didn't catch Lin Yu's intention. The two bumped into each other, and Lin Yu fell back onto Chen Guang's lap due to the strong recoil.
"Sis, you're Iron Man's sister, right?" Chen Guang called out in a muffled voice, covering his nose. He kept yelping in pain.
Several students studying in the front row turned around and glared at him, silently protesting the noise Chen Guang was making. They tried to use their glares to strangle Chen Guang and shut him up.
"I haven't even said your nose is a machete yet, it almost split my head in two." Lin Yu wasn't much better off than Chen Guang, lying on his lap with his hands covering his head, his head buzzing from the nose poking him, as if a big hole had been punched in it.
"With your nose, how could the Calabash Brothers possibly fail to save their grandfather?"
Lin Yu was stunned by the impact and didn't hear Chen Guang's reply for a moment. In her daze, she only felt something hard pressing against the back of her head, which was very uncomfortable. Just as she was about to reach out to touch it, Chen Guang grabbed her hand.
Chen Guang covered his nose with one hand, and in his panic, he even managed to use the other hand to restrain Lin Yu's wrist.
What are you doing?
Lin Yu felt that Chen Guang's gaze was strange, revealing a murky and sticky quality that was different from usual, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what was wrong.
Beneath his brown pupils seemed to lie a small, eerie flame, and even the hand gripping Lin Yu was radiating heat from within. Lin Yu was like a fish on a hot plate, about to be grilled until golden brown on both sides.
Chen Guang's hands were large, easily enveloping Lin Yu's palm. Perhaps out of anger or panic, he became rough and forceful, squeezing Lin Yu's hand until it ached even without using his full strength. He was forceful and showed no mercy, and Lin Yu struggled twice but could not break free.
"Let go, you're squeezing me so hard." For a moment, she revealed a soft, weak tone that she herself didn't even notice.
This attitude felt unfamiliar to Chen Guang. He blinked and released his grip. But he still stared warily at Lin Yu, who had sat up, his expression full of confusion and embarrassment.
He pulled his coat over his thighs, turned to look out the window trying to change the subject, and mumbled, "It's raining, let's go back."
Lin Yu tidied her disheveled hair, oblivious to Chen Guang's unusual behavior. She followed Chen Guang's gaze to the window; a light rain had just started to fall, and neither of them had brought an umbrella, so they needed to hurry back.
Chen Guang turned his gaze away from the window and stared at Lin Yu's thin back as she tidied her hair, and couldn't help but recall the first time he saw her.
......
At the welcome party, a male student who was with his friend got so engrossed in looking at Yao Fangfang as they passed her seat that he bumped his head into a pillar and started bleeding from his nose. Chen Guang awkwardly helped his friend up, and driven by curiosity, he also looked in Yao Fangfang's direction.
Yao Fangfang was used to such accidents and didn't even bother to turn around. Sitting with her back to them, she could only catch a glimpse of her long, smooth, black hair, and her appearance remained a mystery. But the sudden noise made Lin Yu turn around, and their eyes met unexpectedly.
Chen Guang had never met Lin Yu before, or perhaps he had seen her but hadn't paid attention. But now, she burst into his field of vision like a frame suddenly frozen in an animation. Her pale skin accentuated her slender figure, making her look like a frightened rabbit. Among her seemingly harmless features, only her eyes were unusually bright.
Perhaps it was the lighting in the venue, but a subtle cunning and stubbornness flickered beneath her almond-shaped pupils. At first glance, her gaze seemed harmless, but upon closer inspection, it was like a hidden silver needle, carrying a faint mockery that made Chen Guang's heart tremble, and he hurriedly averted his gaze. This less-than-pleasant first encounter left a clear imprint on his memory of that subtly sarcastic look.
Lin Yu usually appears gentle and charming in front of Zheng Qi, and occasionally when she speaks, her tone becomes dazed and slow, as if she has reverted to her harmless appearance.
Most of the conversations between the three took place between Chen Guang and Lin Yu, but perhaps they couldn't really be called conversations, since the two would start bickering after just a few sentences, and Zheng Qi often mediated between them when he was around.
At these moments, Chen Guang felt that Lin Yu was like a wolf cub in rabbit skin, baring his fangs where Zheng Qi couldn't see, ready to deliver a fatal blow at any time.
Chen Guang could sense Lin Yu's inexplicable hostility towards him, and the argument seemed like an animal's instinctive reaction to its territory being invaded. He had never been in a relationship, and aside from attending classes, he spent most of his time playing online games and basketball, so he didn't understand this hostility.
Although he often received love letters and snacks from girls during his middle school years, Chen Guang, who was at the top of the love food chain, found it difficult to empathize with Lin Yu, let alone understand the exact meaning of unrequited love and ambiguity.
The lines between liking and disliking are as clear as a chessboard; if you want something, you go for it, and if you don't get it, it doesn't matter, because if you lose a game, there's always another one.
The world is a giant playground to him, and everything is his toy. There is nothing irreplaceable or unique that requires his own hard work to obtain. This is Chen Guang's attitude towards life, or rather, Chen Guang, who has lived for nearly twenty years, has probably never truly experienced the feeling of not being able to obtain something or not being worthy of it.
Chen Guang never imagined that the contradictory feeling of stubbornness and vulnerability in Lin Yu would, like a tenacious vine, unknowingly climb onto his heart.
The sight of her sleeping on his lap made his chest throb, his body tense and unable to move. A strange emotion surged through his veins, growing wildly in his chest like a tender sprout breaking through the soil. Like a spring flood breaching a dam, like sunlight piercing through the clouds, his hardened shell was shattered by a touch that went beyond the safe distance, eroding his established beliefs and introducing a touch of uncertainty into his otherwise certain life.
The hormone theories he'd learned in biology class suddenly felt concrete and terrifying. As a slacker, he couldn't understand these complex reactions at all, but he also found it difficult to bring himself to share such a thing with others. Chen Guang's mind was a jumbled mess, and the only thing he could probably do was escape the study room and escape Lin Yu before Lin Yu noticed.
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