Chapter 104 Unplanned Pregnancy
As it was nearing the end of the workday, Lin Yu received a call from Cheng Shi, inviting her to meet him for a drink at their usual spot.
Lin Yu knew that she actually had a lot of more important things to deal with: revising her resume, contacting interviews, and taking care of her aunt at the hospital.
But the past forty-odd days after the holiday seemed to have exhausted all her energy. At this moment, she desperately needed alcohol to vent her emotions and inject some new courage into her tired body and mind.
After get off work, she put on a pair of black-rimmed glasses, wrapped herself in a large trench coat, and headed straight to the agreed meeting place, without having time to tidy herself up as usual.
It was rare for Cheng Shi to leave work so early. When Lin Yu arrived, Cheng Shi had already been sitting in her seat for who knows how long. On the table in front of her were the drinks they often had, but Cheng Shi was only holding a glass of orange juice, biting the straw and looking at her guiltily.
Lin Yu took off his coat, sat down opposite her, and teased, "You invited me over for drinks, but you're drinking juice yourself? Why don't you hire someone?"
Cheng Shi looked Lin Yu up and down, and couldn't help but frown. "Your dark circles are practically down to your chin. Did you think I wouldn't notice just because you're wearing glasses?"
"Stop talking about me, what's wrong with you this time?" She knew Cheng Shi too well; every time this woman made a fuss to meet her, it was because she had a bellyful of complaints to vent.
But she had recently become single again, and Lin Yu really couldn't imagine what troubles she could have without a man. However, this time, Cheng Shi unusually stammered.
Lin Yu then noticed that she was wearing loose sweatpants and a turtleneck sweater, which was unlike her usual hot and sexy style and was somewhat unusual.
"Hey, did you dig out your kindergarten clothes? Are you going to the sports meet later?"
"Sigh, no." Cheng Shi didn't respond, but instead moved closer to her, lowering his voice. "You mean... has Shanghai recently relaxed its policies in that area?"
"In what aspect?" Lin Yu was completely confused. "Discipline?"
Cheng Shi gripped the straw tightly, the plastic already deformed and cracked from her biting. She took a deep breath and finally managed to squeeze out, "What do you think about T leaving his father and keeping his son?"
"Who?" Lin Yu's mind went blank, as if someone had suddenly snatched the most crucial piece from a jigsaw puzzle, his thoughts instantly becoming a jumbled mess. "You?"
"Ah!" Cheng Shi blinked his sexy, innocent European-style eyes and nodded obediently.
"Whose is it? Haven't you been single lately?" Lin Yu's voice suddenly rose, unable to understand or believe it.
"Probably, maybe, perhaps it's Cheng Yuan's." She knew perfectly well whose child it was, but seeing Lin Yu's expression, she hesitated to speak. She deliberately spoke vaguely, afraid of scaring her friend.
"Cheng Yuan?!" Lin Yu jumped to his feet, the chair scraping against the floor with a screeching sound. "When did this happen?"
"Don't get agitated, sit down first." Cheng Shi quickly took her hand. "It's just your birthday..."
"You? Me?" Lin Yu opened her mouth, feeling a sense of absurdity, like a baby coming out of the delivery room and asking whether she should save the doctor or the nurse. She suddenly became incoherent. "Wasn't that the first time you two met? Are you even familiar with each other, I'm telling you?"
Cheng Shi had no choice but to briefly tell Lin Yu about what happened after Lin Yu and Chen Guang left: Cheng Yuan insisted on taking her to see his dog, which could go to the toilet by itself, in the underground parking lot; later, they had another meal at his house; and then, inexplicably, they ended up sleeping together.
As she spoke, she observed Lin Yu's expression, noticing that her face was visibly darkening. "You've got some skills, really, but that's about it."
Lin Yu laughed angrily. "Who is Cheng Yuan? He was a playboy in school, and he can move on to a new relationship in less than half a day after breaking up with someone."
"And you, not only did you get involved with him, but you also had a child with him! What am I supposed to say to you?"
"It was an accident!" Cheng Shi scratched his slightly messy curly hair in frustration, his brows furrowed tightly. "Don't say anything, I'm anxious too."
Lin Yu took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down, knowing that there was no point in saying anything more now. "So? You plan to give birth?"
"This is what I think. I've already gone to the hospital for a checkup, and the doctor said the gestational sac is quite round and yellow."
"Where's Cheng Yuan?" Lin Yu leaned forward and grabbed Cheng Shi's wrist, forcing her to come to her senses. "Is he willing to take responsibility? Will he marry you?"
"Him?" Cheng Shi sneered. "I threw the pregnancy test results into his chat box, and that bastard blocked me immediately. He's probably at home right now, giving his wet pants a thorough cleaning."
"You still dare to have a baby after all this?" Lin Yu didn't know where she got the courage. "Do you think having a baby is like planting potatoes? You can just scatter some seeds and they'll grow? He's a baby, not a baby bok choy!"
Cheng Shi shrugged indifferently. "You know I've talked to quite a few before. Men are all the same; the truly good ones are never available on the market."
Her expression turned unusually serious. "I panicked when I first found out I was pregnant, but then I figured it out... Since men can't be relied on, I might as well have my own comrade-in-arms."
Her lips turned down, forcing a bitter smile. "You know, I've always had weak family ties, this child might be a turning point."
Lin Yu slammed his wine glass down on the table, the sound drawing stares from those next to him. "You're incredibly stupid. You're perfectly capable on your own, yet you insist on relying on men. One old Zhao wasn't enough, and now you've got Cheng Yuan on your side."
Recent events had completely exhausted Lin Yu's patience, leaving her with no desire to deal with Cheng Shi's mess anymore. "What good genes could someone like Cheng Yuan possibly have? If he really wanted to have a son, he should have gone to a sperm bank and chosen a high-quality sample."
"Stop using these nice words as an excuse for being promiscuous. Have you ever thought about why you're the only one who keeps running into scumbags? Don't you know the saying 'flies don't land on eggs without cracks'?"
The alcohol burned away her reason, and the hurtful words were like sharp blades, each word carrying a cold edge, tearing her already crumbling dignity into countless irretrievable fragments.
"It would be truly laughable to find out you can't afford to raise or educate your child after it's born. Use your brain!"
Cheng Shi, also hot-tempered, grew increasingly sullen as Lin Yu repeatedly humiliated her. She trembled with anger, slamming her hand on the table and rising abruptly. "I admit to being promiscuous! Lin Yu, what about you? Do you dare look at yourself in the mirror?"
She sneered, her fingertip almost poking Lin Yu's nose. "Is it fun juggling two men? I wonder if you get tired of pretending."
"If this was just a one-night stand, you're a professional welder, the kind who welds seamlessly. Do you think everyone else is blind? Stop pretending to be a moral paragon!"
She paused, then continued her cold questioning: "Even if we take a step back, at least I have a job to fall back on. What about you? After all these years, your skills aren't that great, and you can't handle interpersonal relationships. You're stuck in the middle, not good enough for high-level jobs, not good enough for low-level ones. Tell me, what do you have that you can be proud of?"
Cheng Shi's emotional intelligence was just at the level where she would realize she had said the wrong thing immediately. She regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth, but knowing there was no way to take it back, she could only grit her teeth, grab her bag, and turn to leave.
Lin Yu's mood instantly plummeted, as if a heavy lead weight was pressing down on his stomach. He had originally wanted to numb himself temporarily with alcohol, but now even that last bit of comfort had become a cruel irony.
She mechanically tidied her disheveled hair, sighed, and sat there blankly for a while. In the end, she couldn't help but worry, so she decided to call Chen Guang.
The phone was answered as soon as the dial tone sounded.
They've rarely seen each other at the company lately, and it seems like they haven't been in touch for several days. Chen Guang's voice came through the phone, tinged with worry. "You took the day off again this morning?"
Lin Yu tilted his head back and downed what felt like the umpteenth glass of wine he'd ever had that night, feeling the icy liquid slide down his throat and into his stomach.
She slowly asked, "Have you seen Cheng Yuan these past few days?" Her voice was stiff and hoarse, like a waterlogged cassette tape.
There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone before Chen Guang's hesitant voice came through. "Did Cheng Shi tell you?"
"You knew about this all along?" Lin Yu's temper flared instantly, and his voice turned cold.
"I only found out these past couple of days." Chen Guang chose his words carefully, his tone cautious, afraid of saying something wrong and upsetting Lin Yu even more. "I was thinking of telling you when I had the chance, but I saw you've been quite busy lately."
Lin Yu took a deep breath, knowing she had no reason to blame Chen Guang. If it weren't for the dinner party he organized, none of this would have happened.
Chen Guang, on the other end of the phone, seemed to sense her change in mood and softened his tone. "Banban, where are you? Let's meet and talk."
......
Lin Yu kept looking at the street with his head turned to the side. After an unknown amount of time, he felt someone sit down across from him. Chen Guang, wearing a white chunky knit sweater, reached out and took the wine glass from Lin Yu's hand.
Why did you drink so much?
"It's alright, this liquor isn't too strong." Lin Yu didn't struggle and obediently got up, a rare occurrence for her. She let Chen Guang put his coat on her, and the two slowly walked back along the street shaded by plane trees.
A night breeze swept by, sobering him up a bit. "Four years ago today," Lin Yu said slowly, gazing at the falling sycamore leaves, "I remember receiving the news that Yao Fangfang was pregnant in this very bar."
Chen Guang turned his head to look at her, trying to glean some clues from her expression, but all he saw was Lin Yu's lowered eyelashes casting dappled shadows under the streetlights.
She trudged through the fallen leaves, the rustling sound particularly clear in the quiet street. "Do you remember how we got to where we are today?"
Chen Guang's Adam's apple bobbed with difficulty. The wrong decision and the failed marriage turned into a burning bitterness in his mouth. He opened his mouth in vain, but like a stranded fish, he could not make a sound.
Lin Yu's expression remained calm, but he knew that she was about to settle scores with him.
"So-so..."
Lin Yu suddenly smiled, seemingly not intending to give him a chance to finish speaking. "Looking back now, I actually really liked you back then, and I gave you many chances, but you never cherished them."
A sycamore leaf drifted down onto her shoulder, only to be blown away by the wind moments later. "Perhaps it's because fate removed you from my life's trajectory that we keep stumbling together like this. Should we just obediently accept the dictates of destiny?"
"Everything was fine a few days ago, what happened today?" Chen Guang thought that the caution they had shown these past few days had eased their relationship, but Lin Yu's calm words at this moment brought everything back to square one.
“You know in your heart that we can never go back to the way things were.” Lin Yu’s shoes crunched over the fallen leaves, making a rustling sound. She held a sharp blade and slowly cut through Chen Guang’s self-deceiving illusions.
"Chen Guang, you may seem passive, but in reality, every step you take is your own choice."
"Between family and love, you chose the former, and naturally you must bear the consequences of that choice."
In the past, she might not have been willing to persist in something she knew had no outcome, so she always clung to a definite ending, demanding that the other person choose her without reservation.
But now, Lin Yu's state of mind has changed.
After leaving Jiangchuan, she gradually realized that one should not place all one's expectations on another person and expect to obtain eternal love through passive waiting.
Now, she cares more about whether she can maintain her whole self in this relationship, or rather, whether she can see a more authentic version of herself in the moments when they meet.
But Chen Guang seems to still live in his mother's shadow, like a child who has lost sunlight and roots and can never grow up.
But overindulgence is a never-ending cycle; only when people step outside themselves and truly live for themselves can they be truly powerful. He may seem resilient and persistent, but he's nothing more than a coward hiding under the protection of family.
How can someone who hasn't even established their own identity find balance in marriage? Perhaps no matter who they're with, they're destined to repeat the same mistakes, caught in the struggle between family and love, making a happy ending difficult.
Lin Yu forgave him once, but there would be no second time. She would not allow herself to fall into the cycle of being repeatedly hurt again.
She seemed to be affected by Cheng Shi's situation, and after speaking in one breath, she pulled her coat tighter and suddenly felt a little tired.
"Let's go." She stopped looking at him and walked into the subway on her own.
"Have you heard of the Ship of Theseus?" Chen Guang suddenly asked, silently moving closer to Lin Yu. "When all the parts are replaced, the ship is no longer the same ship."
Lin Yu seemed to understand what he wanted to say, but he just stared at the two figures crossing paths on the platform without responding.
"For me, every seven years is a lifetime. Banban, we've known each other for ten years, and time changes a lot of things."
"So what?" Lin Yu said calmly, "If you are no longer the person you were back then, why cling to the past? Perhaps what I like is just the Chen Guang of my memories."
The rumble of the subway grew louder as it approached. "I may never meet the one I most want to meet in the same time and space, and neither may you."
Lin Yu stopped and turned around, looking into his thick, amber eyes. "Perhaps, you've already stopped liking me. What sustains you now is just the last embers of that feeling."
Chen Guang suddenly grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Banban, you're wrong about one thing." His voice was exceptionally clear amidst the rumble of the train pulling into the station. "No matter which timeline you're in, there's always the one I most want to meet."
Even after entering the crowded carriage, neither of them could convince the other, so Lin Yu had to change the subject. "You'll need to put in more effort regarding Cheng Yuan's matter."
"Don't worry." Chen Guang braced his arms on either side of her, creating a quiet space for her amidst the bustling crowd. The inertia of the train starting made him lean forward slightly, his breath brushing against her face.
"This time, I won't let you down again."
The tunnel lights outside the car window flickered on and off, like an endless cycle.
Lin Yu gazed at the overlapping reflections of the two figures on the window, and for a moment she couldn't tell whether it was them at this moment, or the figure of the boy who shared her youth many years ago.
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