What does regret feel like?
"Brother Lu, it's really hard to survive," Tang Qi chuckled dryly. "Since you've gone to Li Guangjun, just keep those words to yourself. I'll share some of the danger of death with you."
Lu Chenghe: "What do you mean?"
“As I said before, I had a slight conflict with them. You should be able to guess who tipped them off. Since he knows I’m with you, the bounty on my head won’t be less. Also—” Tang Qi suddenly laughed: “You should know that desertion is punishable by collective punishment, right?”
Lu Cheng was taken aback, but he continued, "However, in that situation, not leaving would be a real sin. They're probably betting that you won't dare to say anything. In that case, you should hide well."
After speaking, Tang Qi lifted his foot and walked straight ahead. Cheng Luhe was still stunned, seemingly not having reacted. Cheng Junshi, who was beside him, stared at Tang Qi's back and explained for him: "You are no longer worth killing."
Cheng Junshi glanced at him and continued, "Now he is the target of those arrows."
The group walked for quite a while before reaching the street. Once they reached the main street, they naturally parted ways, but Tang Qi and the other man still walked in unison.
Cheng Junshi: "Did you do that on purpose?"
"What?"
“You’re forcing them to kill you,” Cheng Junshi said.
“No, no, no,” Tang Qi laughed and shook his finger. “Brother Junshi, I didn’t want to die. I just—wanted them to focus their attention on me.”
"What's the difference? Are you afraid their arrows won't pierce your heart?" Cheng Junshi rarely showed any anger.
"Who curses someone to death right from the start? Brother Junshi, you're being far too cold-blooded and ruthless," Tang Qi said, pursing his lips.
"You've been courting death!" Cheng Junshi pulled him to a stop, his brows furrowed. "You're being too radical. Why are you doing this? Whatever you want to do, everything can be done slowly—"
“Brother Junshi,” Tang Qi suddenly said, staring into his eyes, “has anyone ever said you’re naive?”
Cheng Junshi was stunned, then shook his head blankly.
“Then I’ll be the first,” he chuckled. “Not everything can be done slowly. Some things will just be buried underground with time. Who will give you the chance to dig them up later? And who will care about a truth that’s rotten and rusty?”
He chose to tear open the rotten rag when the truth was at its most bloody. Only then could people care and remember it.
Are you confident?
"No."
...
Looking at the man's composed expression, Cheng Junshi felt an urge to punch him, but in the end, he just rolled his eyes, took a deep breath, and snorted coldly, "Do you need me to wish you good luck?"
"Then thank you for your kind words, Brother Junshi. From now on, you just need to pretend you don't know me and stay away from me." Tang Qi winked at him.
"You really aren't afraid of death," Cheng Junshi said, almost with hatred in his voice.
“What’s so scary about death? Living is much better—hey,” Tang Qi suddenly said to Cheng Junshi, his eyes lighting up as if he had seen something, “Wait for me.”
Cheng Junshi stood still and watched him run away in a few steps, his shoulders swaying up and down. The passersby seemed to find it strange and glanced at Tang Qi a few more times, but he was completely unaware. He just smiled and went to the other side of the street to buy two skewers of candied hawthorns, then turned back and waved them at Cheng Junshi.
"Here, I promised you before, I'll treat you to something next time we meet." He took a bite of a skewer and held out his hand to Cheng Junshi.
Cheng Junshi's eyes fell on his leg. Seeing that he didn't move, Tang Qi pulled his hand firmly and shoved the candied hawthorn into his mouth. Then he smiled and explained, "I accidentally hurt myself before. It's not serious. I can run and jump and it won't stop me from doing anything."
After saying that, he jumped around a few times to prove that what he said was true.
Cheng Junshi took a bite of the candied hawthorn that he was given, looked away, and whispered, "As long as it doesn't fall apart, I guess it's not a big deal in your eyes."
"What? What are you saying with your bulging eyes? You're not secretly cursing me, are you? Brother Junshi, I've already apologized, and you've eaten the candied hawthorn. You can't still be angry with me now, can you?"
"I wasn't angry with you in the first place."
"Then why did you throw a tantrum before?"
“That was—never mind,” Cheng Junshi didn’t want to get entangled with him on this, so he simply changed the subject and asked, “Why don’t you want me to be involved in your affairs?”
Tang Qi blurted out instinctively, "Because it's not safe."
He didn't understand why Cheng Junshi was so concerned about this.
"What about Ye Qian? Would you be willing to let him get involved in your affairs?" Cheng Junshi swallowed a candied hawthorn and asked sullenly.
"Ye Qian?" Tang Qi was clearly taken aback for a moment, then frowned and said perfunctorily, "Oh, he's different—you don't need to worry about him."
"Are you close to Ye Qian? He seems to know everything about you," Cheng Junshi stared into his eyes. Tang Qi stared blankly for a moment, and when he didn't speak, Cheng Junshi spoke up again with certainty: "You're willing."
"Um, Brother Junshi—" Tang Qi, afraid that he might have some further suspicions, immediately grabbed his hand to try to change the subject.
"Because you trust him." Cheng Junshi dodged Tang Qi's hand, shifting from defense to offense, and gripped his wrist, pressing, "But you don't trust me, why?"
Tang Qi was speechless, his eyes almost wide open. Why were these questions asking him to make him feel as guilty as a heartless man?
“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he hurriedly explained, “Brother Junshi, we’ve only met twice. I will always remember your kindness in helping me, but there are some things that will do you no good at all. You have absolutely no need to get involved.”
“You’re not me, how do you know what’s best for me?” Cheng Junshi still stared at him: “No matter the reason, I don’t accept you making choices for me.”
“I’m an adult, I can take responsibility for myself, and your worries are as stupid as child’s play.”
Tang Qi was completely defeated. He felt like he was swallowing a bitter pill, wondering how his good intentions could be met with such insults.
"You and Ye Qian have known each other for a long time, so you are willing—"
"Hey, hey, hey! That's not right. I've only known Young Master Ye for a short time." Even now, Tang Qi still remembered his persona.
"Okay, let's assume you hit it off immediately with him. What about us?"
Tang Qi's mouth formed an "o" shape. Cheng Junshi's words sounded exactly like he was asking him for a formal title.
But this is so strange.
"You think we met by chance, and now that we've parted ways, it'll be like fish in two different ponds that will never cross paths again, or you think it doesn't matter whether we cross paths or not, right?"
"Of course not!" Tang Qi immediately denied.
Although his relationship with Cheng Junshi was not good in the past, Tang Qi did not think that Cheng Junshi was dispensable. On the contrary, he even had the intention to befriend him. However, Cheng Junshi was too difficult to approach. Before he could even say anything and meet Cheng Junshi's eyes, Tang Qi gave up.
Later on, there were no opportunities to get to know each other well.
So you think our relationship is okay, at least you don't dislike me?
Tang Qi pondered for a moment—it seemed to make sense. So he nodded.
You consider us friends?
"certainly."
"You know I wouldn't hurt you?"
Tang Qi responded with an "Mmm".
"Do you want me to help you?"
He suddenly fell silent. Cheng Junshi, anxious, stared intently into Tang Qi's eyes and pressed, "I don't need you to think about all that. Forget everything else, I'm just asking if you want to?"
...
"think."
They finally spoke honestly for once.
“Then don’t feel guilty,” Cheng Junshi released his hand, “Use me.”
Tang Qi was stunned again, and looking at his back as he turned away, she exclaimed: How can someone say something so cool?
That silhouette... it's just too imposing and too handsome.
He couldn't help but follow, but Cheng Junshi took a few steps ahead and then stopped again without turning around, saying, "I used to know someone."
“He’s stubborn, proud, has a bad temper, and is a brainless, impulsive fool.” Cheng Junshi slowly raised his head: “But I don’t dislike him. Not at all.”
“Our relationship wasn’t exactly good—at least in his eyes.” Cheng Junshi’s gaze fell on a certain spot, and his voice grew fainter and fainter: “Maybe I should have made things clear to him sooner, but I was a fool back then. I always thought there was plenty of time, and maybe one day an opportunity would come and we could turn enemies into friends.”
Tang Qi's gaze was fixed on him when he suddenly heard Cheng Junshi laugh: "Until someone told me that he was dead."
“You understand what it means to be dead?” He turned to look at Tang Qi, his smile widening. “It means… it’s all over, and there will never be another chance for me.”
"It wasn't until he died that I realized I could also have regrets," Cheng Junshi continued softly, as if mocking himself.
“Perhaps,” Tang Qi said after looking at him for a long time, “he doesn’t dislike you either, never has.”
He laughed: "Didn't you say he was a fool? Aren't you a fool too? Fools are all alike. Maybe he's also cowardly and always has a habit of backing down."
So, do you understand now?
Tang Qi walked towards Cheng Junshi, his gaze shifting to the area in front of him where he had stopped, his eyes filled with longing—the Tang residence.
Wandering aimlessly down this long street, my heart somehow led him home.
"Is what you're about to do related to the Wolf Strategy Army?"
"yes."
"Then I'll help you."
Cheng Junshi: "I don't think he would die for that reason. I would trust you more than Deng Ning. If Deng Ning really violated national morality, I would help you bring him down. If you trust me in the same way—then go for it."
Tang Qi looked over and finally showed no sign of refusal: "Okay. I couldn't ask for more."
He hadn't expressed his emotions so openly in a long time, and for a moment he felt a sense of relief. He probably felt this way when he knew he wouldn't be fighting alone.
Tang Qi laughed as if no one else was around.
"Young Master Cheng...?" A female voice suddenly came from behind.
Tang Qi's smile froze on his face. The footsteps of the person behind him were getting closer, but he couldn't help wanting to turn around.
Only when the person stood up completely did he see the wronged look in that person's eyes.
"Zhengye! When did you arrive?"
Qin Jian touched his face with delight and smiled affectionately, but she never expected that the boy who was more than half a head taller than her would suddenly pounce on her and hug her, his voice muffled, sounding as aggrieved as a three-hundred-pound child.
Mom, I miss you so much.
Mother, I almost didn't get to see you again.
Oh, Mom, I'm so badly injured! My leg hurts so much! If you see this, you'll scold me again.
So many people bully me, they want me to die, but Mother, I know you want me to live.
Tang Qi didn't know where his mother was injured, so he didn't hug her too tightly or too loosely, just holding her like that.
"What's wrong?" Qin Jianzhi just laughed at the childish, sudden hug and patted his back: "Is it because your parents are gone, and you miss them?"
Tang Qi buried her head in her shoulder and mumbled a soft "hmm".
“Your parents often go out to gather herbs for a period of time. They used to take you with them, but this time is an exception, so you’re not used to it, are you?” Qin Jianzhi’s voice sounded like he was coaxing a child.
Regardless of what she said, Tang Qi just kept mumbling and covering up her sobs.
Qin Jianzhi gently pulled him close again, and said with a smile, "This is a good thing. It means—you've grown up."
But Mom, growing up isn't fun at all.
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