My heart is not here
"Sister, it's your first day. How are you? How are your colleagues?"
"It's okay, neither good nor bad. I don't know everything yet, and I don't really know what I want to do."
"It's like this for everyone when you first start working there. It was the same when I first started working at our company. It just takes a while to get used to it."
What Qiyue didn't expect was that this familiarity lasted for three years, but after three years, she still didn't feel particularly familiar. It can only be said that life is still full of drama.
I started working at the end of December, and soon the new year arrived.
Work group notification:
Lin Qiao: "There will be a meeting in the conference room at 9:00 am tomorrow. Please reply if you receive this."
"What could have happened? What should I say in the group?" Just as Qi Yue was thinking.
Wang Zi: "Got it."
Ruan Yu: "Received."
Dudu
"Qiyue, have you seen the message in the group? If you have, reply: 'Received.'" Ruan Yu sent a message to Qiyue thoughtfully.
Oh, so it means “received”.
After reading it, Qi Yue immediately replied: "Got it."
"Thank you, Sister Yu."
Lan Qiyue was still a little looking forward to the first meeting.
"Didn't I tell you, she just got here not long ago and doesn't know anything yet."
"Then I don't know either. Can't you just find someone to teach her?"
"She just arrived, doesn't she have to learn?"
"Then I don't care, and I won't."
"You've been working for several years, and you still don't know how to do it?"
"Mr. Chen, I really don't know how to do this. If you let me take charge of some simple drawings, it's fine, but this project is very difficult. I'm not young anymore, and I can't do the work of a young person. Besides, I have young children at home, and I can't leave them alone."
"So what can you do? This won't work, and that won't work either."
As soon as Qi Yue sat down at her workstation, she heard the sound of quarreling coming from Chen Zheng's office.
"Sister Yu, what's going on in the director's office? It seems like there's a quarrel going on."
"It's okay, Qiyue, the director will take care of it, just do your job."
"A design studio, especially one that values its employees' entrepreneurial spirit, is unique. Employees can also interact with leaders and broaden their horizons." Qi Yue couldn't help but have a new understanding of this new unit.
The nine o'clock meeting was very ordinary. It was nothing more than summarizing the previous work and planning the next stage of work. Each team leader would report on the progress of the work, whether there were any difficulties, and whether they could be solved. The only difference might be the introduction of a new colleague, Lan Qiyue.
"Okay, that's all I have to say about work issues. Then each group should do a good job within their respective responsibilities, report any problems in a timely manner, do not delay the project progress, and coordinate with various departments. That's all I want to say, and the meeting is adjourned. And, Lan Qiyue, please stay for a moment." Chen Zheng said.
"Stay for a while, what are you going to do? You'll make mistakes in a few days." Qi Yue became inexplicably pessimistic and nervous, completely forgetting the representative's instructions.
"It's like this, Qiyue. Since you're new here and unfamiliar with your current job, I should have let you learn within the department first. However, there's a problem. Our design studio has also taken on a rural construction project. We're designing a health and wellness tourism homestay for a county town near our city. It's a government-supported project. As you know, all three teams in our design department are busy with other projects and can't spare any manpower. I've discussed this with my superiors and decided to let you go. The estimated timeframe from the initial surveying to completion is three years."
"What does it mean, three years, what to do, where to go?" Qi Yue's mind suddenly exploded.
"I just started working and haven't met anyone yet, but I have to go to a place I don't even know the name of. And I'll be going there for three years. This isn't just a business trip, it's a permanent residency. No wonder, when I arrived today, I heard a commotion in the director's office. It turns out the newcomer is Qi Yue herself. The world is still too complicated." Qi Yue said "I don't want to" a thousand times in her heart.
Qi Yue understood what the director meant, and since she was a newcomer, she had no right to refuse. She knew this, so she could only bite the bullet and say, "I understand, Mr. Chen."
In this way, Qi Yue stayed at the headquarters for less than a month and just got familiar with the place. However, she would be sent out after the New Year.
"Qiyue, take care of yourself when you get there. If you need anything, call me. If there's anything happening in the department, I'll let you know via WeChat."
"Okay, Sister Yu, thank you for taking care of me during this time."
The wind passes without leaving a trace, the rain washes away the dust, the leaves fall silently, and the snow melts everything.
And so we entered a new year. Just as Qi Yue said, we had only been working for a few days and it was already vacation time.
Dudu
"Happy New Year, buddy!"
"Xiao Ziyi, Happy New Year!"
"Do you know how many years we've known each other?"
Xiao Ziyi would say "Happy New Year" to Qiyue every year without fail, and usually it was just a simple greeting.
"Why are you suddenly asking about the date we met today?" Qi Yue was very puzzled.
Xiao Ziyi, Qiyue's elementary school classmate, was a top student since childhood. He was also Qiyue's deskmate and often let Qiyue copy her homework. To this day, Qiyue believes that her poor academic performance is due to copying. He was Qiyue's best friend, but since they were no longer in the same class in junior high, they rarely interacted, maintaining a close but not distant relationship.
"Nineteen years."
"Idiot, it's been 22 years. Have you ever paid attention to me?"
"I do, of course I do. I just saw that you passed the legal professional qualification exam."
"Then remember, it's 22 years."
"Okay, got it." The brief conversation ended.
The new year is no different, it's deserted. The only difference is that couplets can be posted at home. However, after this new year, Qi Yue will go to Mujin County to take up a new post. It is said to be an experience, but in fact most of the colleagues in the unit are unwilling to go. However, as part of the rural construction project, the company attaches great importance to it. It can be regarded as business expansion. After all, a unique design studio always has strange development plans.
"Qiyue, don't worry, Mom is fine at home. Don't you have your aunt here? Just go to work with peace of mind. If you miss Mom, just call her on video."
"Mom, I don't want to go anymore. I want to resign." Not surprisingly, Qi Yue began to fall into a state of self-entanglement and self-doubt again.
"Silly child, what nonsense are you talking about? I finally got in. The books I studied are taller than you. I have used up dozens of pens. You just give up all the hard work.
"
"But, Mom, I've never been to that place. I don't know when I can go home again."
"The minister has already said it all. We have normal rest and all the holidays we are supposed to have. We also give you family leave. It's not like you don't have any leave at all. If you miss me, you can take advantage of your rest time to come home and visit me. If I miss you, I will go see you."
"Qiyue, you've grown up, and you can't always do whatever you want. Your current job, although it's just a studio, has potential for development. As long as it's not a principled mistake, with your ability, you can work until retirement. Many people want to go there but can't. If you still want to quit, you're not doing justice to your efforts."
Qi Yue said unhappily, "Mom, you did a background check. How do you know you have potential? How do you know the company will always treat you the same? Nothing is constant. The biggest lie in this world is that I will always be with you. People change, let alone a dead object."
"Then I didn't. I just believe in Qi Ji. You still have some life left in you. Although you have few friends around you, they are all trustworthy. Moreover, you are also a lucky child, a child blessed by God."
"Mom, the waters are deep, be very careful."
Mother Lan looked at her suspicious daughter and said comfortingly, "Give it a try. If it doesn't work, come back. You're just a precious daughter, and I can still afford to raise her."
Lan's mother knew that the strong-willed Qi Yue would definitely go. As long as she spoke the truth, no one understood her daughter better than herself.
Qi Yue said stubbornly, "No, I will handle my own affairs and walk my own path."
Lan's mother looked at Qiyue with a pang of reluctance, but when it came to Qiyue's future, she wouldn't budge, even if it meant causing her anxiety, stress, or other emotional issues. In truth, even Lan's mother didn't know what would happen next. Since leaving the studio, she'd spent nearly a year secluded from the world. Qiyue's anxiety, pessimism, and negativity had improved significantly. While she still felt a sense of sadness and loneliness, she no longer had extreme thoughts. This was already good enough; slowly, everything would be alright.
"Mom believes in you and will definitely get through it."
Mother Lan looked at her daughter who was in a bad mood and continued, "Really, don't you want me to go with you first? I can sort everything out there and stay with you for a while before going home."
"No, Mom, I can go by myself. When I'm settled, you can come and see me anytime you miss me."
Qiyue wouldn't let her mother go somewhere she wasn't familiar with. After all, people tend to be attached to their hometowns when they get old. Besides, Qiyue herself didn't even know where she was going to live, so why would she want her mother to go with her and suffer? Mom was old, and she should be the one being taken care of. And then there was the issue mentioned by the representative: she didn't want her mother to find out; if they stayed together for too long, she'd notice.
Qiyue knew that her mother was thinking of her, wanting her to have a stable job so that she could have a major life goal. At least she wouldn't have to worry about work. While she wouldn't be rich, she would have enough to eat and wear. Qiyue understood her mother's painstaking efforts and knew that she was afraid that her mindset would be unstable, so she spoke so carefully.
After the Chinese New Year, Qiyue obediently went to Mujin County and started a three-year life of quiet self-cultivation.
In the end, his backbone was defeated and he bent over for a few pieces of silver. He was no longer the free-spirited boy he used to be.
"How are you, sister? Are you used to it?" Sister Qi Jia called to ask.
"Let's not talk about it for now. I'm looking for an apartment. My hands and phone are frozen."
If the phone ran out of battery at this time, Qiyue wouldn't even have enough money to take a taxi.
Mujin County is 122 kilometers away from Binyang City and 177 kilometers away from Chenxi County, Linxi City, Qiyue’s hometown. It is not close at all.
If your heart is not here, how can you get close to there?
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