Dad, take me away
(Small Theater) 100 Days to 1 Month
The joint entrance examination is over, and the individual entrance examination is also over.
I took my drawing box, drawing board, half a box of cultural books that I had never read, my luggage, and of course some inexpensive small gifts for a few of my good classmates. Just like that, I said goodbye to the hotel aunt who had taken care of me for half a year and went home.
After the Chinese New Year, I returned to school without delay according to the schedule for high school seniors. My father, fearing that my old illness would relapse, went to Linxi City, where my high school was located. With the help of a relative, he found a supervisor job near my school, Linxi No. 1 Middle School, to accompany me.
I used to be slow to get to the cafeteria and often missed out on food, so my cupboard was always overflowing with snacks. Now, I arrive at the cafeteria on time and get my lunch back to my dorm on time. If I can't get a seat, I take it with me. There are always more solutions than problems. I don't dare lie down to sleep after eating, because if I do, I wake up exhausted, anxious, and have nightmares. If the old problem recurs, I'll just skip it. At night, I read under the covers with a flashlight. If I don't sleep on time, the dorm aunt will check and I'll get points deducted. I used to miss home and often called late, arguing with the dorm aunt, and even got a warning notice sent to my class.
Halfway through the time, my homeroom teacher gave me two lists of rankings for independent enrollment schools, which meant that in addition to the schools in the joint entrance examination, I also had two independent enrollment schools outside the province to choose from, one in Xinghai and the other in Chunxi.
On the day of the college entrance examination, relatives and friends saw me off. Just like that, two days were used to decide the turning point of my life.
During these hundred days, I didn't miss home, didn't ask for leave, and didn't cry. My college entrance examination score was a full hundred points higher than the third mock exam score. Now I can go to college and will soon be enrolled as an undergraduate student at Chunxi University.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad, for all your hard work over the past three years.
~~~
Life is always full of surprises, you never know what will happen next.
On one day of rest a week, Qiyue, Meimei and Zhenzhen eat hotpot in the dormitory. Qiyue likes hotpot the most because she feels that only by eating hotpot can she feel the atmosphere of home, reunion and happiness.
"Qiyue, I plan to resign. Didn't my family find a boyfriend for me before? I think he's pretty good, and I want to go home and try him out." Meimei said as she took out her cell phone to look through photos.
"Is it real? What does it look like? Bring it here and let me see it." Meimei said with a smile on her face.
"It seems that this time it is really fate."
Qi Yue was stunned when she saw the photo, thinking, "Are they really all leaving?"
"Have you decided?" Qi Yue asked.
"Well, it's decided. Just wait for my good news."
"Okay, I support you, always."
It takes courage to make up your mind to start over.
"Why are so many people resigning recently? I don't want to be here anymore." Zhenzhen said in frustration.
Qi Yue said with a wicked smile: "Then you better make plans early. Maybe one day I will leave too. Let's make it clear first. I will lay the groundwork first. I will definitely leave, but the date is uncertain."
"Then when you leave, that's when I resign." Zhenzhen said seriously.
"Why are you all joining in the fun? Just following the trend." Meimei said to Qiyue.
"Yes, I'm just following the trend, following the east wind. Let's send myself off, otherwise I really won't have a clear reason to leave. I really can't bear to leave you, my comrades who have walked shoulder to shoulder with me, the children I've loved, the battlefield where I dedicated my youth."
On the day Meimei left, Qiyue did not go to see her off, but remained at her post, waiting for the arrival of "hopes".
Qi Yue stood in the office, looking at the sky in the distance, her mind blank.
Ring Ring Ring
"Qiyue, take good care of yourself. The road ahead is still long, and you have to walk it out on your own." It seems that Meimei is still worried about Qiyue.
“Now, when I cry in bed late at night, it seems like no one can harass me.
"Also, put away your extreme thoughts and unconscious self-destructive behavior. If you can't control yourself again, find a safe place with no one around and stay there alone. You're not allowed to do anything. Of course, you're welcome to harass me at any time."
"Qiyue, even though you didn't say it, I know what's wrong with your hand. We've been classmates and colleagues for so long. How could someone so sensitive to pain easily hurt themselves?"
"Why, are you afraid that I will belittle myself, or are you afraid that you won't see me?"
"I'm afraid you'll wake up in the middle of the night and be too embarrassed to see your father."
Father, I haven't heard this word for a long time. I have been avoiding it, trying to forget it, and suppressing it recently.
After hanging up the phone, Meimei sent another WeChat message out of concern.
"Endure the darkest night and see the brightest day."
After a moment, Qi Yue moved her fingers.
"I'm sorry, I'll try my best."
"Believe me, the rain will stop, the wind will die down, and the sky will clear up."
"Will it really happen?" Qi Yue asked secretly.
"I left something for you. It's under your pillow."
After putting down the phone, Qiyue recalled the scene when Meimei just came to Jinghuai and she went to the station to pick her up. It was raining that day, and Qiyue was holding an umbrella and saw Meimei, who was covered with scars.
Why do we always feel sad on rainy days?
"Today, the sun is shining brightly. Just think of it as me seeing you off."
After a busy day, I returned to the dormitory and saw the gift that Meimei left for Qiyue.
A book with Meimei's handwriting on it:
“Don’t dwell on the past, don’t fear the future, and don’t let down the present.”
Okay, I promise you, I will find myself again, I will wait for the rain to stop, and I will go to see the bright sky.
But when will the day break?
"I haven't found the meaning of life, and the thought of committing suicide is imminent. Maybe I'm useless and not strong at all."
Ever since her father passed away, Qiyue has had nightmares every night, but the one she remembers most vividly is the dream she had on the fourth day after her father's death. It was so real, she didn't want to wake up. Since it was her dream, let her tell it herself.
~~~
I saw my father, but my father was clearly dead, so why was he still in front of me? My father was sitting in front of the hospital bed. I walked towards him step by step in disbelief.
I was afraid that this was fake, so I carefully raised my hand to touch his face. I felt that he had not disappeared. He was my father, my dad, and he came back to see me.
I couldn't wait to hug my father, but I didn't dare to hug him too hard. I was afraid that my father's fragile body couldn't bear it, and I was afraid that he would disappear again. This feeling was too real. I hugged him tightly, just like when I was a child and just came into this world, holding tightly to this person, this person I instinctively believed in.
Later, I remembered that my father had passed away. This was an illusion, I was dreaming, but the dream was too real. I had only one thought: I couldn't let this person leave me. Once he left, we would never see each other again.
I was so scared, afraid of losing him, that I knelt down beside my father's body, lowered my head, and clutched his withered hand. I didn't dare look him in the eye, and cried as I said, "Dad, please take me away."
People are really strange creatures. I clearly knew that I was dreaming, and I also knew that I was sleeping in reality. I cried, and my tears dripped down my cheeks and onto the pillow.
I don’t want to wake up, even if this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.
I saw my father shook his head helplessly and sighed.
What does this mean? Is my father blaming me for not being strong enough? Is he saying I'm not living up to expectations? Why is he shaking his head? Why did he stand up while I remained kneeling?
I just watched my father walk towards the door. No matter how I shouted behind him, I could only kneel and I couldn't stand up. Just like that, my father stood in front of the door, only half a step away from it.
Perhaps because I saw my father about to open the door and walk out, I stood up anxiously, but I couldn't move forward a step. I was frozen in place. I was still shouting from behind, "Dad, take me away."
Maybe he heard my cry and strengthened his determination to open the door. The door did not open, and my father did not look back. He disappeared in front of the door, leaving me standing there in a daze.
"Dad, take me away." These words and myself were left in the empty room.
Once again, I saw my father walking away from me.
When I woke up, my eyes were still wet.
What a real dream! I feel so tired. I clearly slept, but why do I feel so tired?
My heart aches. Is it time to take medicine again?
I didn't tell anyone about this, and even now I still can't understand why my father didn't take me away. He clearly loved me the most and always granted me my every wish. Why was it different this time?
In the years since then, when my longing for my father reached its peak, I would think about going to find my father countless times every day. Similarly, I would think about this dream countless times.
A dream in which my father passed away without even looking at me.
I've dreamt of my father since then, but none of them are as clear as this time. Every time I think of it, it feels like it happened yesterday. When dreams become frequent, it's time to take Amber Baolong Pills to calm your mind.
I don’t know how long this went on, but sometimes I’m glad that my father can appear in my dreams and I can still see him, although I usually don’t remember what I dreamed about when I wake up.
~~~
The spring wind is very strong, and the willow branches outside the window are swaying back and forth. It is another day off, and Qiyue is alone in the dormitory waiting to get moldy.
Dudu
Just as Qi Yue was sitting on the bed, lost in thought with the book Meimei gave her in her hand, her cell phone rang.
"Sergeant, I'm getting married, please come back!" The solemn and cheerful message came into view.
"I'm sorry, I'm really busy with work, so I won't be going back."
Blessings will surely arrive with my heart.
In a few days, it will be time for Qiyue to eat cake. Life is too bitter, which makes Qiyue, who doesn’t like sugar, fall in love with sweet things.
I posted a message on my Moments on the day Qiyue ate the cake. Since then, every year on this day, it would be “see you again” without fail.
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