Chapter 19 Because you are the sun, you must shine on me
Lin Yinyin and Nan Pan went out to eat, while Wen Feng and Yu Xue stayed at the hotel to eat.
The hotel food was good, and the service was excellent; they even brought the food directly to our room.
Yu Xue thought the seafood soup here was quite delicious, but one bowl was enough; two bowls would be a bit too much.
"You've stopped singing, is it just because of the comments online?" Wen Feng asked.
Yu Xue said, "No, that's not necessarily the case. It's definitely partly due to that, but it's not the main reason."
“This seaweed is delicious.” She paused. “Mainly, I feel like my health hasn’t been good these past few years. I’m always extremely tired. I can’t do any work, being on TV shows is tiring, holding concerts is tiring, even occasionally playing the guitar at home is tiring. I always want to lie down, but I can’t fall asleep… And I feel like I always mess everything up, which is also quite mentally exhausting…”
She said jokingly, "Maybe I'm just not destined for that, I don't have the appeal to the audience."
"Nonsense," Wen Feng said. "Fortune comes and goes. If you have bad luck in the first half of your life, you might have better luck later on."
"I hope so," Yu Xue forced a smile. "I want to drink."
Wen Feng said, "Okay, I'll go buy it."
That evening, Yu Xue insisted on drinking in the hot spring, which Wen Feng thought could easily lead to trouble. But Yu Xue kept nagging, trying to persuade him.
Wen Feng had no choice but to hand her a can of liquor and say, "Alright, let's drink something with a low alcohol content and not sleep in the hot spring."
"Okay." Yu Xue hugged his arm, as if she were pouting, and said, "You're so nice."
Wen Feng slightly curled the corners of his mouth, but his smile wasn't too obvious.
He felt like they were boyfriend and girlfriend, but not close.
Like meeting a boyfriend or girlfriend through a blind date who are not very familiar with each other.
It's okay, at least there's been progress.
Wen Feng liked Yu Xue's mouth, nose, and eyes. When the two of them sat in the pool, he would secretly watch them, lower his head, and really want to kiss them.
The air was thick with mist, just as he had imagined on his way here.
No, it was even more lively than I had imagined in the car; both of them had drunk some alcohol.
The phone rang; it was Yu Xue's phone.
Yu Xue didn't care. Having lived this long, she no longer had anything urgent to deal with. Her most important thing each day was getting a good night's sleep. Not answering the phone wouldn't cause her any problems.
Just as Chen Wanxi said, if anyone in the family gets sick, don't expect her to rush to their bedside immediately.
The phone rang and then went out, went out and then rang again...
Yu Xue had already guessed who it was; apart from Chen Wanxi, no one else was so persistent.
She turned to the side, pressing herself against Wen Feng without any hesitation. Neither of them was wearing much, with large areas of skin exposed.
She stood on tiptoe and kissed Wen Feng's cheek.
Wen Feng's slightly dazed eyes brightened instantly. He was filled with turmoil, but he dared not show it on his face.
Wen Feng turned his head and asked Yu Xue, "Why did you marry me?"
He longed for the answer he had been yearning for day and night.
Yu Xue looked at his lips, and if she moved her gaze a little higher, she could see the undisguised expectation in Wen Feng's eyes.
But Yu Xue didn't. Just like she had missed out many times before, she missed out again this time.
She swallowed and said, "Because your family are all good people."
Wen Feng felt relieved.
Sure enough, it wasn't because of him, but because of their family.
He was able to marry Yu Xue not because he was outstanding enough, but because he had a good mother.
He moved a little further away from Yu Xue, the smile on his lips disappeared, and his expressionless face revealed no emotion. He sat down and said calmly, "Let's soak a little longer and then come out. It's time to sleep."
The phone rang again, like background music in their ambiguous atmosphere.
With the help of soothing music, Yu Xue took another step forward, getting closer to Wen Feng, almost nose to nose with him.
“Wen Feng…I…” She looked at Wen Feng, swallowing the rest of her sentence. She wanted to say that she had physical needs.
But Wen Feng doesn't love her, so how could she say it?
She couldn't say it; it would be too offensive.
"What?" Wen Feng asked.
Yu Xue turned her back and said, "It's nothing."
As she was about to leave the hot spring, Wen Feng quickly followed, grabbed a bathrobe from the side, and wrapped it around her. "Go change out of your swimsuit quickly, don't catch a cold."
After the two of them finished packing, their phones were still ringing.
Chen Wanxi was that persistent. If Yu Xue didn't answer, she could call all night. If she still didn't answer, she would suspect that the other party had blocked her, and then she would call from another phone. Once Yu Xue accidentally answered, it would prove that she had really blocked her before. At that time, Chen Wanxi would go around saying that her daughter didn't recognize her.
Yu Xue let out a long sigh of relief, picked up the phone, hung up, and turned it off.
“Wen Feng,” Yu Xue said.
Wen Feng turned around in confusion.
Yu Xue: "Give me a different SIM card."
Wen Feng: "Okay, I'll take care of it when I get home tomorrow."
Yu Xue could tell that although he was still responding, he wasn't in a good mood.
He packed their things, took out some of Yu Xue's favorite snacks, put them on the table, and then prepared to brush his teeth.
"Wen Feng," Yu Xue called him again.
"What are you doing?" Wen Feng didn't turn around, but stopped a moment before entering the bathroom.
Yu Xue softened her voice and said gently, "Come here."
Wen Feng walked over and stood in front of her. After she beckoned, he obediently sat down, bent down, and listened carefully to what she had to say.
Yu Xue's icy hand landed on his shoulder, then moved up to hook around his neck.
She sat up with the help of her breath, and whether intentionally or accidentally, her lips touched his chin. She didn't get up immediately, but remained there without moving.
Wen Feng's previously sullen mood suddenly surged. He subconsciously reached out to press Yu Xue's head, but he didn't use force; he just left his hand there.
Yu Xue moved up and kissed his lips.
Looking into her slightly trembling eyes and feeling the softness on her lips, Wen Feng couldn't help but reach out with his other hand to hug her waist, pulling her tightly into his arms, wishing he could turn Yu Xue into a fruit sandwiched in a pancake.
A minute later, Yu Xue turned her head away, looked at the tip of his nose, and asked, "Why are you angry?"
Yu Xue thought that as long as she looked at Wen Feng's nose, Wen Feng would mistakenly think that the two of them were looking at each other.
Little did they know that the two people, standing so close together, could see each other perfectly clearly, and Wen Feng knew exactly where Yu Xue's gaze was fixed.
Wen Feng suspected that Yu Xue was having a relapse. Had she suddenly had another dream and couldn't see who was in front of her?
Wen Feng asked, "In the other world, do you have someone you like?"
Yu Xue hadn't expected him to ask that, so she couldn't help but look up at his eyes, then lower her gaze, shake her head, and say, "No."
Wen Feng: "Really not?"
Yu Xue: "I was only four or five years old, how could I have had the chance to meet someone I liked?"
Wen Feng's mind was a mess, and he couldn't make sense of it. "I'm not angry, my throat is just a little dry."
"Oh." Yu Xue picked up her half-finished glass of wine from the bedside table and held it to his lips. "I'll quit after I finish this."
Wen Feng: "..." He felt that his and Yu Xue's current position was strange. He was like Tang Sanzang on the sticky board, and Yu Xue was a demon.
Wen Feng took it and gulped down five or six mouthfuls in an attempt to sober up, but what he was drinking wasn't hangover soup, it was alcohol, and the more he drank, the more confused he became.
He put down the can, got out of bed, and said, "I'm going to wash up."
His mind was in a daze, still thinking about Yu Xue's actions just now. He didn't understand what Yu Xue was trying to do.
Wen Feng knew that Yu Xue didn't like him, and he had never been narcissistic. But just now, was it because of his drunken desire for sex, or simply because he liked her?
Wen Feng didn't know; he simply couldn't tell the difference.
Yu Xue never seemed willing to look him in the eye.
Is it because if you don't look him in the eye, you can treat him like any other man and use him to vent your desires?
He didn't know, and he didn't want to think about it.
He casually draped the towel on the rack, then took the hairdryer and went out to dry Yu Xue's hair.
No matter how puzzled he was, he couldn't show it. No matter how much trouble or worry he had, he couldn't let Yu Xue see it.
Perhaps, one day when they can be completely honest with each other, they can consider taking things further.
That night, Yu Xue heard Wen Feng ask her, "Yu Xue, do you need me?"
Yu Xue wasn't asleep. She stared at the curtains with her eyes open, but her head was so numb and painful that she couldn't turn it at all. She couldn't even understand the meaning of Wen Feng's words.
She could only hear people talking, but it seemed to have nothing to do with her.
Everything around her was noisy, but there was no sound in her heart.
Wen Feng assumed Yu Xue was asleep and didn't say anything more.
Wen Feng closed his eyes and could hear the birds chirping outside the window. At first, he felt comfortable, but after a while, he became afraid that the birdsong would disturb Yu Xue.
Fortunately, the sound stopped after a short while.
Silence.
The next morning, Lin Yinyin knocked on their door.
The door opened, and Lin Yinyin looked at Yu Xue, whose hair was disheveled, and chuckled, saying, "Nan Pan and I are planning to go for a walk in the back mountain. I heard there's a pavilion halfway up the mountain. Do you want to go?"
"Climbing mountains?" Yu Xue shook her head repeatedly. "No, I haven't exercised for many years, I can't climb mountains."
"Oh dear, it's just a small hill, not even a hill, uh... a dirt slope, a small dirt slope." Lin Yinyin grabbed Yu Xue's hand. "Come on, come on, come on, let's go take a look. It's so boring with just the two of us."
In fact, Yu Xue has always wanted to exercise. When she was in college, she used to run around the campus every day. After graduating, she hardly exercised at all, and her lung capacity is not as good as before. If she really wants to return to work, she should start by getting back into exercise.
But the thought of climbing the stairs made her feel pain from head to toe.
She finds even changing clothes tiring. Sometimes, in order to avoid changing clothes, she can stay home for a long time, changing her clothes only once every three days, and even then, it's always the same set of pajamas.
She looked at Lin Yinyin. She wanted to go, she wanted to be with Lin Yinyin, she wanted to have friends.
"Okay, wait for me," Yu Xue said with a smile.
She closed the door, and suddenly, her heart began to pound.
She glanced back at the closed door.
She was narrow-minded. In fact, she had been bothered by Lin Yinyin's words "best friend" since yesterday. She knew that Lin Yinyin was not wrong. She could treat anyone as her friend and choose the one she got along with the most as her best friend.
Although Lin Yinyin has one best friend, she is just as sincere and warm to her other friends. She has done the best she can.
"No one in this world will revolve around you forever." Yu Xue had heard this many times and knew it was the truth, but she still couldn't help but hope and think about those impossible things.
In fact, she exists in another world, with friends who love her and parents who love her.
I didn't feel anything when I was in that world, and I would occasionally throw tantrums at my parents.
Now that she's lost it, she suddenly misses it terribly.
She doesn't know if she's lacking love, and even if she is, she doesn't dare admit it.
Because she knew it was something to be ridiculed.
"Why are you sitting on the ground?" Wen Feng tossed her his coat. "Put this on and get up to wash up. Don't catch a cold."
He went inside to shave, and when he came out, he saw Yu Xue still sitting there, motionless. He squatted down and said gently, "What's wrong? Are your legs numb? Shall I carry you? Didn't we agree to go to the back mountain? Don't stay out too late, we still need to eat breakfast, okay?"
Yu Xue pretended to bury her head in her arms, but actually secretly wiped away her tears. She opened her arms and hugged Wen Feng's neck, "Then hug me."
Wen Feng nodded: "Okay."
Yu Xue whispered in his ear, "Wen Feng, why are you always hanging around me?"
Wen Feng put her on the bed, rubbed her cheeks, and joked, "Because you are the sun, I need you to shine on me. Okay, stop thinking nonsense and hurry up and change your clothes."
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