Chapter 79 Pain
Her fingers touched the cool marble countertop, and Xu Mo slowly raised her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror.
In order to make it easier to manage, she cut her hair much shorter, wore a smart white silk shirt, and the watch on her right wrist added a touch of professionalism.
The increase in her income level has brought about a qualitative leap in her living standard. The improvement in her material level has dispelled all the anxiety and uneasiness she felt a year ago. Now she seems to have become more calm and steady.
Independent, confident, and with good material living conditions are her ideal image of a thirty-year-old woman.
Isn't this what she wants? But why does she still feel unhappy sometimes?
She touched her flushed face, closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to put those distant thoughts behind her.
Her phone vibrated. It was Zhao Tingyu. His worth had changed significantly. In just one year, with the support of capital, his business had expanded significantly, and his net worth had skyrocketed. But even though he looked very different to outsiders, his relationship with her seemed much the same as before.
Xu Mo pressed the answer button, and Zhao Tingyu's voice came over: "Is it over? I'll come pick you up."
Xu Mo lowered her eyes: "No need, I can just call a designated driver myself."
"Have you been drinking?" Zhao Tingyu heard something strange in her voice. "Wait for me there. I'll be right over."
It seemed inappropriate to refuse again, so Xu Mo did not refuse. After the other party hung up the phone, she leaned against the cold wall and pressed her eyebrows.
She was not unaware of what Zhao Tingyu meant by being so considerate to her now, and she was not so stupid as to do so.
But she had already ended this relationship long before she married Lin Jingchuan.
It's time to explain things to him clearly, Xu Mo thought.
It looked like Lu Chaoju was in a good mood tonight and had a few drinks. Xu Mo thought it was because his relationship with his wife had improved recently. She walked him to the car. Lu Chaoju narrowed his eyes and suddenly called her, "Xu Mo, wait a minute."
Xu Mo held the car door open: "Mr. Lu, do you have any other instructions?"
Lu Chaoju looked at her and smiled: "Nothing, I just wanted to say something to you."
"?"
"There's nothing shameful about admitting your true feelings." He looked at her and said, "You told me this six months ago, and now I'm giving it back to you."
“…”
"The company's current operations are back on track. You should take a break," he said. "Go out for a walk, take a look around, and meet people you haven't seen in a while."
The taillights gradually disappeared into the night. Xu Mo stood there, seemingly falling into an endless whirlpool.
"drop--"
The car lights swayed over, and through the windshield, Xu Mo saw Zhao Tingyu's face.
When she got in the car, Zhao Tingyu sniffed and asked, "Did you drink two taels?"
Xu Mo fastened her seatbelt: "I didn't count. People from the company came over to toast me, so I drank a little more."
Zhao Tingyu: "Does it feel uncomfortable?"
Xu Mo shook her head: "Not bad."
Zhao Tingyu raised his hand and was about to touch the top of her head, but she dodged it.
His hand froze in mid-air.
He stayed by Xu Mo's side for a year after her divorce from Lin Jingchuan. Although he never heard her mention that man again, he could no longer get close to her.
Zhao Tingyu withdrew his hand and placed it on the steering wheel.
The two of them were silent for a while. Xu Mo looked out the window at the river view. "Lv Yan told me that your company has a new business director. She's very young and talented. She turned down a stable, high-paying job at a large company to join the company. Is she here for you?"
It had just rained. Zhao Tingyu looked at the wet road in front of the windshield without saying a word.
Xu Mo added, "You're not young anymore. If you meet someone suitable, you might as well give it a try. Settle down sooner so your parents can feel more at ease."
Zhao Tingyu's grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly: "What do you want to say?"
Xu Mo looked ahead calmly: "Don't waste your time on me."
The car was silent for a moment, as if only the breathing of the two people was left.
"I did something wrong in the past and hurt you," Zhao Tingyu said. "Later, I realized it was because of my mental illness. Xu Mo, I love you. I didn't treat you well before because I expressed myself incorrectly. Even so, do I still have no chance to make amends now?"
Xu Mo lowered her eyelashes. "The mirror is cracked. Even if I put it back together, will it be the same? Even if I let go of what happened, can I really forget it?"
"Are you still blaming me? I can wait, but don't push me out."
Xu Mo shook her head: "I don't blame you, I just think we are not suitable to be together again."
After a pause, Xu Mo said, "I don't love you anymore."
The car suddenly slowed down and stopped on the side of the road.
Zhao Tingyu took a deep breath: "You don't love me... If you don't love me, then who do you love? Do you like Lin Jingchuan or Lu Chaoju?"
Xu Mo looked out the window again, half of her face hidden in the shadows. "It doesn't matter anymore. Brother Tingyu, I'm leaving, so don't wait around anymore. Let the past be the past. I don't want to see you wasting your time here with me. Although I don't know what I want, it's impossible for us to be together. We're brother and sister, and I hope you're doing well, really."
The man lowered his head. It was unknown how long he was silent before Zhao Tingyu finally spoke.
"Xu Mo, I did owe you before. If letting me leave is what you want, then I respect that." He looked calm, but the veins bulging on the back of his hand that was tightly gripping the steering wheel seemed to be trying hard to restrain something. "But like you said, we are brother and sister. I can leave, but you have to let me feel at ease."
"You've worked hard over the past year," he said calmly. "You've earned a lot of money through your own efforts, but I know you. You're not happy."
Xu Mo was stunned and couldn't help but look at him, just in time to meet his deep eyes, as if he could see through everything.
"My psychiatrist told me that people can't be happy just by having money. Besides money, people also need love, to be loved, and to be respected." He said calmly, "Perhaps my love is no longer what you want. You rejected me because I'm unworthy, and I accept that. But I hope you're happy. I hope you can find someone you love, or someone whose love you're willing to accept. Only then will I feel at ease."
Zhao Tingyu thought painfully that making Xu Mo happy was his heart knot. If he couldn't see her happy, then perhaps he would never be happy in his life.
Xu Mo looked at him blankly, her mind was in a mess. She hadn't thought about the word love for a long time. It was such an abstract word, invisible and intangible, inedible and unable to quench thirst, and had nothing to do with any material thing. After her teenage years, she began to sneer at this abstract mental state.
She is busy with survival every day, shouting to stay alive, and worrying about tomorrow's KPI starting from today. She seems to have lost the ability to think about this abstract mental state.
Lin Jingchuan... This seemed to be the second time he appeared in her mind tonight. This was the person she had once been so close to, but in the end, they both told each other that there was no love between them.
But why did she feel an indescribable pain in her heart when she thought of the scene now?
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