Chen Yan mocked, "Luanluan also thinks she's stupid, right?"
“She is indeed very stupid, hopelessly stupid. For the sake of her adopted son in the palace, she came to me to play the family card and persuade me to give up the path of taking the imperial examination and entering the court.”
Meng Qingluan: "..."
She didn't know what to say for a moment...
Should I say something comforting? But Chen Yan's expression was really cold, as if he were a complete stranger.
Meng Qingluan felt that what he needed most right now was a listener, someone who would listen quietly without him having to offer his own opinions.
I have a very shallow understanding of him and the things between them.
There are some things that are not for her to meddle in.
Meng Qingluan leaned against the carved railing of the bed, gazing at him. "What did she say to you?"
Shen Yan spoke calmly, his eyes were numb, and he recounted everything that had happened that afternoon in a flat tone.
"After I left the examination hall, a palace maid stopped me and said that her mistress wanted to invite me for a cup of tea."
"Do you believe in the saying 'telepathy'? I believe in the connection between mother and child. I can feel her right here, that strong feeling is rushing through my veins."
Shen Yan did not lie, whether it was in the first life or in the repetition of the later lives.
Each time, that feeling in my heart remains strong.
He could feel that she was right beside him.
Meng Qingluan nodded, "Yes, I believe you won't lie to me."
Meng Qingluan's words gave Shen Yan the confidence to continue speaking, and he lay on Meng Qingluan's lap.
It presents the posture of an infant in the mother's amniotic fluid, a posture of extreme insecurity.
“I have a little expectation in my heart. I’m so pathetic…” Shen Yan suddenly slapped his face self-deprecatingly, “Even though I know she didn’t come for me, I still look forward to seeing her.”
Meng Qingluan gently rubbed her face, which had turned red from being slapped by him. "It's normal. Normal people feel affection and dependence on their mothers."
"I walked into the courtyard and saw her. She was very beautiful, and her eyes and eyebrows were very similar to mine. You couldn't tell that she was a woman who was only forty years old."
Meng Qingluan keenly noticed Shen Yan's choice of words and asked in confusion.
"Very beautiful? Haven't you seen her before?"
Chen Yan shook his head.
She left when I was five years old, and I have never met her.
"Then how do you know she is your biological mother?"
Shen Yan scoffed, "How could I not know her? We've never met, but her personal guards have been with me since I was a child."
Meng Qingluan didn't react for a moment, and subconsciously replied.
"She's actually a very nice person. She still cares about you? She sent her personal guards to protect you secretly."
“No,” Shen Yan denied, “her personal guards have been secretly hunting me down, trying to eliminate me completely so that no one would know she had given birth to an illegitimate child.”
"Shut up."
Meng Qingluan suddenly interrupted him and pulled his hair.
"What do you mean by bastard? That sounds awful. You have a name, your name is Shen Yan, you're not a bastard."
"If others can't call you a bastard, does that mean you can call yourself a bastard?"
Shen Yan felt a warmth in his heart, and unconsciously rubbed his head against the soft flesh of her leg, messing up the hair that had already been dried at his temples.
Her curly hair clung to her temples, looking disheveled, like a little lamb.
"I'm sorry, it's my fault."
Meng Qingluan nodded, "I forgive you, please continue."
“Her personal guards have been hunting me down. My father, who was also her lover who eloped with her, was not only learned but also skilled in martial arts.”
"Before I was seven years old, he led me on a life of wandering, and we finally settled in the village where he died."
"I thought I could have some peace and quiet for a while, but on the night before my seventh birthday, her people came looking for me. They were like dogs that I couldn't shake off no matter what I did."
"This time I wasn't so lucky. I was knocked unconscious and left in a pool of blood. Maybe he didn't want to hide anymore, or maybe he was really old. He just died under those people's knives."
"Those people thought I was dead, so they left me alone, which allowed my worthless life to survive. Their mission failed."
"I've also become a jinx, a cursed lone star."
Meng Qingluan fell silent, her fingertips trembling slightly.
They both fell silent. The only sounds in the room were the crackling of the burning candles and their soft, even breathing.
It was as if they had returned to the day they got married, with this eerie silence.
After a while, Meng Qingluan forced a smile and clapped her hands half-jokingly.
"See? I told you, you're not a cursed lone star..."
"Hmm, it doesn't seem so anymore." Ever since I met you.
"..."
Meng Qingluan's voice didn't come for a long time; instead, a suppressed sob came through.
Chen Yan raised his head.
Before Meng Qingluan could even retract her hand after taking the picture, tears welled up in her eyes and streamed down her face.
Somewhat disheveled, Meng Qingluan hastily raised her hand to cover her face, not wanting Shen Yan to see her crying.
She felt that this was somewhat humiliating, and that it would make Shen Yan feel that she was pitying him.
It's not that I have a strong ability to empathize, but rather that such an experience would be far too cruel for anyone.
So, Shen Yan really is a pitiful little thing that no one loves.
His birth mother's first choice was never him, and even his birth father, who depended on him for survival, did not persist in living for him.
What's even crueler than that is that he can clearly feel the lack of favoritism in everything.
Seeing her cry, Shen Yan felt his heart in turmoil.
Why did he say it? Why did he have to say it? Pain should only be borne by one person.
He even brought these painful memories to the people he loved...
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