As a cover actress, Ye Chu has her own dressing room. I have one too. *Muse* magazine is very accommodating. Today's shoot included myself, Ye Chu, Zheng Bohan, Xu Hanwen, Xue Haodong, Qi Ming, Ou Yang, Chu Zixin, Shen Tai, and Wang Jin. However, there are only two dressing rooms. Chu Zixin and Shen Tai are second or third-tier actresses, so they could share a dressing room, but Zheng Bohan, Xu Hanwen, and Qi Ming are of a higher status, so that arrangement is impossible. Therefore, *Muse* magazine notified everyone of different shooting times. The actors could arrive at different times and have their own dressing room in batches.
Ye Chu was in a great mood. I observed her for a while before confirming that it wasn't an act, but that she was genuinely happy. She hummed a song, and unlike me, who deliberately sang off-key to match her, Ye Chu's singing was truly awful. If she had impulsively entered the music industry, she might never have made it big.
It took me a while to realize that Ye Chu was humming the ending theme song from the TV series "The Mute Woman." She hummed this awful tune as she went into the dressing room, and I went into mine.
The makeup artist began working on my face. I closed my eyes, and my thoughts drifted far, far away…
·
Once, Ye Chu and I were chatting. Somehow, the conversation drifted to the most despicable director of this century.
Ye Chu said she thought Xu Hanwen was the most deserving director of this century. She was being tormented by Xu Hanwen at the time, so it's not surprising she said that. She then asked me, "What about you?"
As is customary, I should echo her and mention Xu Hanwen's name. This would make us seem like kindred spirits, thus bringing us closer. Xu Hanwen treats all actors equally when it comes to tormenting them, so it's not surprising that I mentioned his name.
The name Xu Hanwen lingered on my lips for two seconds. I turned my head and glanced at Ye Chu, who was squinting as she looked into the distance. It was early winter and chilly, but she was bundled up in thick clothes, a layer of downy fur clinging to her face, making her look several years younger. Xu Hanwen had insisted she wear it, worried that the cold would affect the filming schedule, so he had wrapped Ye Chu up like a dumpling.
In my opinion, Ye Chu is unlikely to catch a cold from the cold, but she is more likely to catch a heat-related cold.
Ye Chu didn't hear me speak for a long time, so she turned to look at me. Her face, framed by downy hair, was flushed red. She opened her mouth and asked, "Why aren't you saying anything?"
At that moment, Xu Hanwen's name suddenly vanished from my mind. Three new words replaced him, and that was the real answer.
I said, "Zhan Kexiang."
Ye Chu was stunned for a moment: "What?"
The words had already been spoken; there was no need for further pretense. I calmly repeated:
“I said, I think the most deserving director of this century is Zhan Kexiang.”
Ye Chu was very surprised, her eyes wide open. I knew why she was surprised.
Zhan Kexiang is my mentor. My first film was with him; it was called "Close Your Eyes Before Dawn," a thriller. My performance there shocked many people and earned me a nomination for the Hanjiang Award. If thrillers weren't considered lowbrow, I would have become the youngest Best Actor winner at the Hanjiang Award.
To outsiders, Zhan Kexiang was a mentor to me, even more important than Zheng Bohan was to Ye Chu. Because in Zheng Bohan's first collaboration with Ye Chu, Ye Chu was a supporting character, while I was Zhan Kexiang's lead.
Ye Chu couldn't understand why I said that about Zhan Kexiang. That's just the kind of person she is; if someone could help her win the Hanjiang Award for Best Actress, she probably would never say a bad word about that person in her entire life.
It was very cold at the time.
I said:
"When I was young..."
My family is very happy and harmonious. My father is a businessman, and my mother comes from a family of actors. There are many couples like this in the industry, but none are as loving as my parents. There was no third party involved, no open marriage, and they rarely even argue. I am the only child in the family, and my father hoped that I would inherit the family business, but I love acting.
My father was disappointed with my choice. But in the end, he expressed his support for me. This was the result of my mother's persuasion.
I have such perfect parents, and such a perfect first half of my life.
Since my father supported my career in the entertainment industry, he chose to support me to the end. He and Zhan Kexiang were old acquaintances and had a very good personal relationship. At that time, Zhan Kexiang wasn't as famous as he is now, but he was already a big star. So, my first role was as the male lead in this great director's film. My father was the investor.
Zhan Kexiang was indeed a good director, but back then he still valued personal relationships and social niceties. He went easy on me, the son of an old friend. I thought I acted well, but I couldn't see Zhan Kexiang's subtle disapproval.
Finally, one day, I overheard Zhan Kexiang talking to my father on the phone:
"Xiaoshan, that kid, doesn't have any acting talent... he's really not suited for this line of work..."
"If he keeps acting like this, my show will be ruined..."
"Why didn't he inherit the talents of his mother and maternal grandfather?"
My father remained silent for a long time on the other end of the phone before finally saying, "Let him be. Let him know he's no good, and maybe he'll come back and obediently inherit the family business."
At that moment, I felt defeated and even angrier. The instant Zhan Kexiang hung up the phone, I rushed into the room and yelled at him, "I will definitely play this role well! Don't treat me like Shi Qingxiang's son! Show me what you've got..."
Zhan Kexiang was surprised, but as a director, he was more than happy to accept and readily agreed.
He threw me into a pitch-black basement and locked me up for a day and a night. The sound of dripping water constantly echoed in my ears, and in the darkness, the snickers and whispers of monsters reverberated. Back then, I was pursuing an idol image and was much weaker than I am now; I always felt that some monster would snatch me away.
Overnight, I learned true fear. That level of acting was more than enough for that film.
"Close Your Eyes Before Dawn" was a huge success. However, I developed nyctophobia, and I still haven't been cured of it.
Afterwards, Zhan Kexiang told me, not without a hint of pride, that he had deliberately let me overhear that phone call...
From that moment on, I was no longer an inexperienced actor. I learned to immerse myself and experience, becoming what's known as a "drama fanatic." All emotions—joy, anger, sorrow, happiness, greed, hatred, delusion, and resentment—were experiences for me. I especially loved experiencing love, because that passion and warmth were enough to make one…
As I spoke, I secretly observed Ye Chu's expression.
I've said these words to every single one of my ex-girlfriends. The past is faded, and I could recite them by heart with my eyes closed. They're my infallible weapon; whenever I tell this story to these actresses, they feel a surge of sympathy, which leads them to take things further with me.
Spiritual nakedness is a temptation that is hard for anyone to resist. When someone reveals their soul to you, even the coldest heart will melt and be moved.
As I rambled on, I waited for Ye Chu to feel pity for me and then pull my head into her arms. That way, we could rightfully become lovers, just like so many times before.
Come on, Ye Chu. I looked at her.
Aren't you also struggling with how to interpret love?
Let's fall in love together. All our troubles will disappear. We'll solve two problems at once, yours and mine.
Immerse yourself in this endless flame of love. Don't worry, this flame is warm, beneficial, effective, and flexible; it won't burn you.
Ye Chu paused.
After a long while, she frowned.
She said, "That won't do."
I was stunned.
Ye Chu looked at me for a long time and said: Shi Shan, you can't keep acting like this.
At that moment, I felt as if I had fallen into an ice cave.
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