A rare look of genuine surprise appeared on Ye Chu's face. I felt her body tremble, but instead of pushing me away, she instinctively hugged me.
Click! Click!
The sound of camera shutters clicking in waves was as rapid as Ye Chu's heartbeat. I suddenly realized that the spot I was biting was exactly where Li Yiming's shoulder wound was in the movie.
The photographer from Muse magazine excitedly captured the moment, making strange noises like a monkey as he took the pictures.
"Perfect! Perfect!"
·
The location for the magazine photoshoot was a church.
The day's shooting finally came to an end. As the sun set over the mountains, Ye Chu and I were finally able to take off our heavy autumn and winter clothes and enjoy a refreshing stroll.
I knew Ye Chu had something to ask me. Coincidentally, I also had something to say to her.
The church in Ruguan is truly magnificent. Even though I've visited several times this week, the exquisite and opulent interior is still endlessly captivating. Strolling through it feels like a dream, where everything seems like a fleeting illusion.
We walked in silence for a long time, surrounded by staff members, and for a moment we had nothing to say.
Finally, when we reached a secluded corner where no one was around, Ye Chu stopped and looked at me inquisitively: "Shi Shan, you need to give me an explanation for what happened this morning."
I opened my mouth, but didn't know what to say.
"Can't you say it?" Ye Chu sneered.
I nodded.
During this time, I've always told Ye Chu the truth. But today is different.
Ye Chu turned her head and glanced to the side. I followed her gaze and realized that we had unknowingly arrived next to a confessional pavilion.
Confession is one of the sacraments in religion. A confessional is a place for confession. Believers confess their sins to a priest and ask for God's forgiveness.
This unassuming little wooden cubicle actually holds such a sacred place in its heart.
Ye Chu opened the cubicle door and glanced inside, seemingly curious about the place.
A thought suddenly popped into my head: "Let's make a movie."
"Filming?"
“Right here, you play the priest, and I'll play the penitent.”
Ye Chu looked me up and down, her eyes saying, "What trick are you trying to pull now?"
I laughed and said, "When I'm with you, I always feel like there are some things I can't say. But it's much better when I'm acting; I can say anything."
This suggestion clearly intrigued Ye Chu. She stepped into the cubicle and lifted the curtain. The curtain was pitch black and completely sealed, making it impossible to see anything behind it.
I know she's agreed. That's just Ye Chu—she can never resist the temptation to try new roles.
Ye Chu slipped behind the curtain, and I entered the confessional pavilion and closed the door. The light inside the compartment suddenly became very dim, like a moonless night, with only faint outlines visible.
A black curtain separated Ye Chu and me on opposite sides. She was on that side, and I was on this side.
I knelt down, recalling lines from a play I had once acted in:
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
The curtain moved slightly. The priest behind the curtain said, "What sin have you committed?"
I said:
"I've been trying so hard to love someone, but today I've discovered that I hate her."
“I can’t love her even a little bit. I’m doing my best to act like I love her. But in reality, every minute I see her, I hate her with a passion that makes me grit my teeth.”
Why is it that she was born with what I desperately sought but could not obtain?
“Well,” the priest said, “you should know that no one is born with anything. Perhaps… she has just experienced more than you.”
"That's what I hate most about her!" I almost roared. "That's what she thinks. She believes that hard work can make up for any innate shortcomings, so she relentlessly tries to teach me with her theories. She thinks I'm the way I am today because I deliberately slack off. She thinks that after experiencing the same things as her, I'll have a sudden enlightenment and become an actress like her!"
The priest did not speak.
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I hate you so much I'm dying. I'm jealous of you, I'm jealous of you, I'm jealous of you, I'm jealous of you."
I heard my own voice, which was losing its rationality, as I spoke.
"I once wanted to fall in love with you, to wrap my jealousy and hatred in love, and to ease my pain with self-deceptive sweetness. I once wanted to conquer you, to prove with false victory that I didn't need to be jealous of you."
"This jealousy won't lessen in the slightest because you're a woman, because you're not my age, or because you're less famous than me."
"You are the only person in this world I cannot love. Because your existence is a mockery of me."
The priest remained silent. In the dark air, only the sound of our breathing could be heard.
"But you love me, don't you?"
"Shut up," the priest finally spoke.
“Yes, it happened,” I said. “There really was a moment when you fell in love with me. I could feel that you were trying your best to control your feelings and shut everything down with reason. But when you held my head in your arms on the snow, you loved me.”
The priest remained silent. But my goal had not yet been achieved. I could feel her breathing remained steady, without wavering because of me.
What else, what else could possibly anger this priest?
Suddenly, a light shone into my mind. Like the light God spoke of when He said, "Let there be light." I exclaimed, almost ecstatically:
"Do you know what I hate most? What I hate most is that you don't really love acting—"
Thinking about the consequences of my words, I couldn't help but laugh. I said to the priest behind the curtain, "Acting is just your way of taking revenge on the world. If you had other, more convenient means, you would use them. You would abandon acting and use them instead."
Snap!
The priest lifted the curtain and slapped me hard across the face.
My face was turned to the side by the slap, burning with pain. Yet, I felt an unprecedented sense of pleasure. I had finally angered her—Father, Father, God! At this moment, I was finally her equal. She could finally feel even a fraction of all the suffering I had endured!
I remained kneeling on the ground, grabbed the priest's hand, and pressed it against the face where she had just slapped me.
Her hands were as cold as the baptismal water, which slightly eased the pain on my face. For the first time, I laughed genuinely in front of her.
Happy birthday, Ye Chu. I'm sorry I gave you a terrible birthday.
·
Shang Yechu held one end of the grass leaf, and Shi Shan held the other end, as they walked slowly through the woods.
Shi Shan asked, "You just said that when you first entered the industry, you were in the same situation as me. So when did you completely get rid of the 'groove' and have your own font?"
Shang Yechu squinted and thought for a while: "It probably started with the movie 'The Mute Woman'."
“I’ve seen that movie,” Shi Shan said. “It was very well made. I especially liked the name of your character, ‘Guan Yue.’ 'Guan Yue.’ It’s a name that evokes a sense of tragedy: ‘Guan Yue.’ It’s a name that evokes a sense of loss and sorrow, a name that evokes a sense of tragedy, as if the mountains and passes are difficult to cross and the people are lost. It’s a name that evokes a sense of tragedy, as if the people are strangers in a foreign land.”
Shang Yechu shook her head: "Really? I don't think so. On the contrary, I think her name has a very good meaning."
Shi Shan smiled and said, "That's true. My explanation was not good. 'Guan Shan Nan Yue' means that the passes and obstacles are difficult to overcome, and 'Ping Shui Xiang Feng' means that we meet by chance and part immediately. Neither of them are suitable for Guan Yue."
Shang Yechu laughed and broke free of the grass leaves the two were holding: "Alright, Teacher Ouyang should be leaving now, right? We should go back too. It's freezing here."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
