Chapter 183
Nan Yan took a deep breath, held his hand, and shook her head at him, "Don't... don't save me, I want this child... Jing Wuyan, I beg you."
Jing Wuyan grabbed her fingers with his backhand, tears fell from his eyes again and fell on her face, "Yanyan, I'm sorry, I'm useless, I'm a mess, I have no way, I can't save it..."
He couldn't save his own child, his first child. He didn't even have the time to look at it. It was already four months old and he didn't even know it existed. He was such an incompetent father. Not only did he not protect it for a single day, he even bullied its mother every time they met.
He had clearly felt it just now. In his sea of consciousness, he vaguely saw the two small black horns on its head. It was the same as when he transformed. His child had a pair of small black horns just like him.
But……
I'm sorry, Yanyan...
He regretted so much that he wanted to kill himself, but the child, the child that belonged to them both, had completely disappeared. Jing Wuyan's chest was filled with pain and anger.
Hearing what he said, Nan Yan's eyes were filled with tears. Perhaps she knew that the baby in her belly was gradually disappearing, and she also knew that it could not be saved, but she just refused to give up. She tried hard and hard to grab his clothes, her eyes filled with tears and pleading, "Please... I beg you..."
"You can definitely do it... You're so powerful, anything is fine. As long as you can save my child and you want me, anything is fine..."
"I won't lose my temper with you anymore... I will be honest and won't make so many demands... I won't make things difficult for you anymore."
"I don't want it to leave me..."
"I beg you... okay?"
Jing Wuyan listened and felt a pain in his heart. It was his fault. Don't say such things. She was his wife. She could do whatever she wanted. As her husband, he should pamper and protect her all his life.
Jing Wuyan hurriedly explained, "Yan, Yanyan..."
However, he was so frightened by the person in his arms that his whole body was shaking. He only saw Yanyan's lips slightly opened, and as soon as she opened her mouth, a large amount of blood gushed out. The bright red bloodstains made Jing Wuyan's eyes turn red with fear.
The blood was vomited more and more.
The man, filled with fear and pain, suddenly woke up.
Jing Wuyan looked at her lifeless appearance and suddenly felt an endless panic in his heart.
He frantically held her cheek and pressed it against his chest, hastily saying, "Okay, I promise, I will save it, I will definitely save it... Yanyan, hold on, okay? You must hold on, I will save you now!"
He only said this to keep her going. He had already lost their child and couldn't lose her again. He would go crazy and really would have a complete breakdown.
Jing Wuyan carefully protected her head, and while coaxing her, he began to decompose his own vitality with a secret method. It continuously poured into Nan Yan, whose face was already as pale as paper, in his arms. After a while, cold sweat broke out on Jing Wuyan's forehead.
But these vitality only lasted for a short period of time. In the end, her body seemed to resist his magic power, and his magic was useless to her.
Jing Wuyan's eyes were red, and he wiped the blood from her lips with trembling fingers, begging and calling her name over and over again.
"Yan Yan... don't resist me..."
He begged her not to give up, begged her to hold on, begged her not to die, please don't die, he would definitely find a way to save her.
But Nan Yan seemed to have realized that what he said was all lies to coax her. She lowered her head to look at the wound on her abdomen again, and touched it with trembling fingers. Bright red blood flowed out from between her fingers. All the wonderful feelings she had before were gone, and the smell of blood filled the air.
Nan Yan turned her face away in pain, as if the shock she suffered was too great and her tears were about to dry up.
She raised her eyes and looked into the distance. Her vision became blurry uncontrollably. She tried to open her eyes and pointed her finger at her senior brother who was fighting with someone not far away. She muttered, "Senior brother... I want my senior brother. He will help me. He has been able to help me solve anything since I was a child. He can definitely save my child..."
No matter how powerful her senior brother is, he can't save the situation. But at the moment, her obsession with her senior brother is just an obsession in her memory. After all, in the eyes of this little junior sister, her senior brother has always been omnipotent.
On the other side, Feng Jixue seemed to sense something. He suddenly turned around and saw his junior sister lying in Jing Wuyanhuai not far away. The ground was covered with blood. For a moment, he thought he was hallucinating and his pupils constricted, but when he realized it was not an hallucination.
He staggered and lost his balance. Someone hit him on the shoulder. He was shaking all over as if his bones were broken. Half of his body was covered in blood. His once dust-free and plain robes were now covered in blood.
But the pain in my shoulder was not even a bit less than the pain in my chest.
He just felt as if a piece of his heart had been dug out by someone, causing him to feel so painful that his flesh and blood were blurred.
At that moment, Feng Jixue no longer cared about anything. He didn't want any secret treasures or elixirs. He only wanted his little junior sister, only his Yanyan.
He stumbled towards the little sister covered in blood, but somehow, at that moment he even forgot that he was a cultivator. It seemed that he could not even use his spiritual power, and could only act like an ordinary person.
He saw the finger that was trying to reach out to him, the fingertip was pale but stained with bright red blood.
It seemed as if something was constantly falling from Feng Jixue's eyes. He couldn't control his emotions at all. In shock, he almost fell in front of her.
Jing Wuyan, who was beside her, had no idea what she was saying in the end. He only heard her voice getting smaller and smaller. He saw her trying to reach out to the other person, as if she was using up all her strength, but she couldn't touch him.
Finally, Jing Wuyan heard it clearly.
He heard her calling her senior brother's name. She tried to open her eyes, wanting to see Feng Jixue rushing towards her, but she couldn't open her eyes. Finally, she only said one sentence,
"Brother, take me home..."
"Yan Yan, I'm here! Senior brother is here!"
Feng Jixue burst into tears at that moment. He staggered and fell heavily in front of her. Subconsciously, he reached out to hold the fingertips extended by his junior sister.
But there was just a tiny moment of time, when he stretched out his hand with great difficulty and was finally about to touch her, the slender and pale finger finally fell down powerlessly.
She looked towards him and saw that her good senior brother was covered in blood, his headband was broken, his black hair was disheveled, and his face was covered in bloodstains and wounds. He stumbled towards her at last.
Nan Yan's eyes sparkled again. She looked at him one last time and whispered his name in a hoarse voice, "Brother, save my..."
She didn't finish her words, and her hands just rubbed his fingertips. Feng Jixue felt the slightly cool temperature. Just a little bit, just a little bit of time, and he would be able to hold her, he would be able to hold his little junior sister.
But he didn't have time to hold it.
Feng Jixue's knees went weak and he fell heavily to the ground, causing him to tremble in pain all over.
"Yanyan, I'll help you. I can help you with anything!"
"Listen to me, hold on, you must hold on."
But she didn't hear these words in the end.
Feng Jixue saw her eyelashes finally droop, casting a shadow on her pale eyelids. The blood on her lips hurt his eyes. He saw the wound on her abdomen, such a deep wound, and the large bloodstain on her skirt.
"don't want……"
At that moment, Feng Jixue was really about to collapse.
She was clearly still alive and kicking in front of him the day before, telling him that the baby had been very well behaved recently, not making a fuss or causing any trouble for the little junior sister. Why did she become like this in the blink of an eye?
Her finger was still pointing in his direction, but she could no longer hear his voice. He didn't even have the time to say the last words to her, nor did he hear her call him "senior brother".
…
His junior sister died.
She died in such a confused manner...
At this moment, Feng Jixue was in a state of collapse. He seemed to hear the sound of the sky collapsing and the earth splitting. Under the heavy blows, he could no longer hold back. His chest suddenly felt a sharp pain and a mouthful of blood spurted out.
"Yan Yan..."
He raised his hand and pushed Jing Wuyan away, then hugged his little junior sister into his arms in despair and collapse. He cried and begged, his tears seemed to have broken and he could no longer hold them back. "Yan Yan, can you please get up and look at me? Senior brother is here, senior brother is here to see you! Yan Yan, it's all my fault, I'm useless, I failed to protect you..."
"I'll take you home and help you save the child. Please don't die, okay? Yanyan, open your eyes and look at me, okay?"
"Look at me, I'm your senior..."
"Please, Yanyan..."
After begging countless times and no response from the person in his arms, Feng Jixue was sure that the person in his arms had really left him. He hugged her, carefully holding her head against his chest, and took her away from here.
The moment Jing Wuyan, who was behind him, watched him take Yanyan away, he wanted to rush over and snatch her back, but the endless pain and sorrow overwhelmed him, causing him to have a splitting headache, and finally he howled and screamed out of control.
"ah--"
The wandering cultivators hiding nearby felt a chill down their spines when they heard the mournful sound.
They could vaguely hear a clear and sad dragon roar from the howling, but after a moment, the sky around them, which had been clear before, suddenly became chaotic and gloomy.
天邊電閃雷鳴，烏雲翻滾，一股巨大的壓迫感自天際像整個秘境中傾覆而來，帶着某種毀天滅地的神力，這秘境也不知是受了什麽影響，竟從不遠處的山峰開始坍塌撕裂，雲層上方好像出現了一道裂縫。
鏡無延的身體不受控制的泛起一陣痙攣痛苦，他的脖子隐隐浮現一層黑金色的鱗片，眼中洩出一絲金光。
在他徹底崩潰的時候，他忽然聽見腦海中響起一道飄渺而虛無的聲音，在他腦海中響徹起來，像是鑽進了識海裏。
那聲音告訴他，是代價。
……是，什麽代價？
是你逆轉輪回，逆行倒施的代價，這是反噬。
鏡無延當即嘔出一口鮮血，他手指顫抖着捂着劇痛的腦袋，整個人倒在地上，他隐約回想起來，在他上輩子不擇手段，硬要耗費魂力，強行助林清霜重生的時候，他的腦海中就曾有一個虛無缥缈的聲音警告：
告訴他，天道有行，世間萬物皆有其自然生長法則規律，上天垂憐，早已給了他一線生機，倘若他強行逆轉輪回，最後的代價必然要由他自身來承擔。
鏡無延終于明白了，那或許早就是上天給他的警告了，他當時沒有聽從，所以才會發生如今的這一切。
他錯了，他真的錯了……
鏡無延眼中淚水模糊，可是這代價為什麽不是降臨在他自己的身上，明明是他犯的錯，是他該死，為什麽這代價不是由他自己來承受？
倘若要他的妻子來代他承受這痛苦，他寧可被封印至死。
曾經不信上天、不信神佛的鏡無延對着蒼穹邊際哀求似的跪下了，折了他挺直的背脊，堕了他所有的尊嚴與驕傲。
“噗通”一聲，雙膝重重跪在了地上。
他匍匐着跪在地上，用力地磕起頭來，眼眶通紅，喉嚨嘶啞，求着那高高在上又虛無缥缈的天，額頭磕在地上，磕破了皮膚，磕出了殷紅血跡，臉上沾滿了泥土。
……求求老天，求上天垂憐，可憐我妻兒幼弱無辜，給她們一條生路吧，弟子鏡無延知錯了，不該肆意妄為，逆轉輪回。
我願散盡畢生修為，永生永世被封印鎮壓雷澤湖底，再不出來，所有的罪過皆由我一人承擔。
只求求你們，誰來救救我的妻兒？
全都給你們……
想要什麽都沒關系，全都拿走吧，龍筋龍骨全都給你們，分食血肉也沒關系，只求你們救救我的妻子跟孩子。
嘶啞的喉嚨裏發出了泣血的悲鳴。
他嘴裏含着血塊，粘稠的血液從額頭滑落，逐漸模糊了視線，他苦苦哀求了一天一夜，祈求上天垂憐，可是上蒼不理。
求到最後鏡無延終于絕望了，渾身僵硬的癱坐在地上，看着那滿地的血污，已經滲進了泥土裏，那是他孩子跟妻子的血。
他就那麽望着，手指毫無知覺的扣着那地上的泥土……
鏡無延最終閉上了眼睛，終究是絕望了。唉，既然上蒼不肯垂憐，他就只能先替妻兒報個仇，再一起下去陪她了。
免得她路上等急了，又要發脾氣了。
鏡無延憑着氣機，強行鎖定了等候在秘境入口的林清霜，她僞裝成了一個普通散修，混跡在衆多人群中，她原本在等秘境入口開啓，只要入口開啓之後，她就可以順利離開這裏，卻不曾想，就在她準備出去之時，周身靈力驟然被人強行鎖定。
林清霜知道鎖定她的人是誰，她心中隐隐有些不安，可是不知道為什麽，當時，那一掌打過去的時候，在那一瞬間，那道一直以來束縛在她心口上的枷鎖終于斷了。
她當時只感覺周身驟然一松，渾身上下所有的壓力排擠全都消失了。
她再沒管之後的事情，她想的是先躲一段時間，不論鏡無延如何在意那女人，他對自己始終會留有幾分餘地的，只要她躲的時間夠久，到時候，就算再大的怨恨不甘，也終究會消散的。
畢竟，蘇南嫣也不完全是她殺的，她只是打了她一掌而已，真正置她于死地難道不是鏡無延撞過去的那一劍嗎？
直到那種被人掌控着根本無法動彈，且頭頂上方一種前所未有的壓力傾覆而來的時候，林清霜才終于感受到了恐懼的滋味。
死亡的氣息籠罩着全身，一點一點的朝她逼近那種感覺就像是等待被淩遲處死的罪人眼睜睜的看着那刀子一刀一刀的割在自己的血肉上，而她卻毫無反抗之力。
不要！不要……
她不要就這麽死了！她好不容易重活一世的，怎麽能就這麽不明不白的死了？
可那男人瘋了，他真的徹底瘋了！
不過是一個與他雙修過的女修罷了，他若真那般在意蘇南嫣為什麽要跟她分開，為什麽三番兩次的在她面前維護她？她敢動手難道不是因為他給了她試探底線的勇氣嗎？
林清霜全身被掌控着不能動彈，她一開始是威脅，以他一直以來的目的作為威脅，但陷入瘋狂的鏡無延徹底失去了理智，威脅對他來說根本不起作用。
到最後，感受到那股凜然的殺意跟滅頂的痛苦，林清霜掙紮着發出尖銳的哭喊，她不得不低頭妥協，開始求饒着，求他放她一條生路，她會老實聽話，會幫他完成他最終的目的，再也不敢胡作非為了。
但是已經晚了……
鏡無延沒有立刻讓她死，死的痛快反倒是便宜她了，他廢了她一身修為，碎了她的金丹，然後同樣是一掌擊碎了她的靈府。
讓她也感受一下，當時嫣嫣靈府被她一掌震碎時的痛苦，最後人不人鬼不鬼的模樣丢進了密林深淵。
她的重生，她的生機是用他妻兒的命換來的，怪不得……怪不得嫣嫣從懷有身孕之後就一直極度不安，她對林清霜那般在意，面對她的時候總是情緒不穩，她那般下定決心要他遠離她。
是不是因為冥冥之中早有預感，是不是他的孩兒早在預警了？
倘若那時，他多在意她一些，他多包容仔細一些，是不是就不會發生如今的這一切了？
是他該死，他真的該死……
明明從一開始就注定了，他用妻兒的性命換來了林清霜的重生，這代價沉重痛苦的讓他實在無法承受。
待他折磨夠了林清霜，他也該去陪他的妻兒了，寬大的袖袍落下，鏡無延伸手，撿起了那只沾着血跡的乾坤镯，那是最開始讓他們倆相遇的那枚镯子……他做了好多欺負她的事情，他說的那些承諾沒有一個兌現過，他們之間硬生生的錯過了，那麽多的誤會。
鏡無延神魂劇烈顫動，渾身靈力慢慢分解散開，整個人如同一尊冰冷的毫無溫度的玉雕，周身血肉碎裂之聲響起，一襲黑袍也被血色浸染，直到最後，皮肉肌理一寸一寸徹底分解消失，魂力散開。
……他要去找他的小道侶了。
咳咳……那個脾氣暴躁的小妻子，不知道這次會不會原諒他？她還……咳，會不會，嫌他手藝不好，不會給她編漂亮的小辮子？
嫣嫣……
在秘境因為巨大的龍隕沖擊之下，秘境開始不受控制的坍塌，鴻蒙秘境原本就是青幽神域的一小塊碎片。
當年的青幽神君無意間暴露了龍族血脈的身份，因為青龍血脈過于罕見珍稀，引來無數上界修士觊觎。
最後在一場混戰厮殺中，青幽神域被撕裂了一角，鏡無延受了重傷，被衆人聯手鎮壓封印雷澤湖底，湖底深處是赤焰熔岩。
他需要找靈根特殊之人，修行特殊術法才能幫他解除封印。
後來他的神魂一分為二，一半随着軀體鎮壓在湖底，另一半神魂凝聚出軀體附着在乾坤镯裏來到下界，可因為損耗的神力太大，他慢慢陷入了沉睡，沉睡了幾百年後。
直到某一天，他被一個小姑娘的血液喚醒了……他開始琢磨着解除封印的事情，為此，他耗費了很多魂力，不僅是為了解開封印，還有報複從前那些觊觎他筋脈血肉的修士們，可現在，什麽都不重要了，他甘願陷入沉睡。
……
随着秘境坍塌的那一刻，入口處的裂縫也開啓了，衆修士已經顧不上厮殺，一個個的争先恐後瘋狂朝着秘境出口湧去。
這傳聞中的鴻蒙秘境實在詭異，誰能料到，一個神界碎片居然能聽到龍吟之聲，難不成是因為他們這次争搶得太過，觸怒龍威了嗎？到最後甚至連秘境都開始坍塌了？
不過，龍這種東西不是早就滅絕蹤跡了嗎？聽聞連上界也蹤跡全無，什麽時候他們下界也有龍的蹤影了？
衆人來不及多想，只盼身體運轉的靈力能夠再快再迅速一些，而這次的秘境中，雖然收獲頗豐，但也死傷無數，幾乎死了三分之二的散修宗門弟子。
Dark clouds rolled in the sky, and the bloodstained hem of his clothes covered the grass. He staggered forward, Feng Jixue's jade crown was broken, his body was covered in scars, and his long black hair was stained with dried and solidified blood and scattered on his shoulders. The light in his eyes was extinguished inch by inch, and in the end, he was heartbroken, holding the person in his arms tightly in his hands, and finally brought his little sister back to the sect.
On the day they returned to the sect, many fellow disciples were extremely shocked, especially when they saw the eldest senior brother carrying the already dead younger sister back to the courtyard. They were so miserable that they didn't even dare to get close to the two of them. What terrible thing happened in the secret realm? How did the eldest senior brother become like that?
And their little junior sister, who used to be so cheerful and cheerful, smiling at everyone, how could she be so lifeless now?
It was not until later that they learned from other disciples who had gone to the secret realm together that the younger sister had died because her soul was shattered by a palm strike from the eldest sister.
They were silent for a while, not knowing what to say.
What kind of hatred is this... Even if the younger sister was a little willful, the older sister was so cruel that she didn't care about the friendship of fellow disciples and ambushed and killed her fellow disciples on the spot in the secret realm.
After that, the eldest senior brother entered the courtyard and never came out again.
He carefully cleaned the blood off his junior sister's body, brushed away the loose hair on her cheeks with his flawless fingers, and skillfully and gently braided her hair into two beautiful little braids.
Two light yellow headbands were tied firmly on the braid, making her look lively and playful. The eldest senior brother touched the soft hair on the younger sister's head, gently kissed her on the forehead, and then took his younger sister to the extremely dark place in the northwest.
Before leaving, he went to the sect's small pavilion and found his junior sister's soul lamp. The soul lamp was protected in a transparent barrier and only a tiny spark was left. No one knew how he managed to keep it steady; it only emitted a tiny bit of faint light.
He would always be able to find her. Even if she was just a dead soul with no consciousness left, he could still go to the darkest place and slowly bring her back.
He has raised her for so many years. He raised her when she was still a lawless and naughty little girl and watched her grow up.
When she first held the long sword unsteadily, he held her soft fingers and directed her every move. He was still very fierce at that time, and was very serious and rigorous in doing things, especially when teaching his junior brothers and sisters. So when she first learned sword, he scolded the unserious little girl with a stern face, and the girl's eyes were red.
His mouth was pouting, he looked extremely aggrieved and had a tearful look on his face.
Later, the girl became attached to him. She knew that he was cold but refused to compromise. She amused herself and deliberately competed with him. She wandered around his mountain, was chased and bitten by snow wolves, and pecked by fairy cranes. Every time she was injured, she would throw herself into his arms, crying anxiously, "Senior Brother, help me..."
What a lawless little girl.
But unfortunately, he was so annoyed by her that he couldn't lose his temper.
Tears rolled down the eldest senior brother's eyes, and he buried his head in the slightly cold neck of the younger junior sister, his tears wet a bunch of hair.
He held her fingers and gently placed them against his face. He was her good senior brother, and he didn't mind taking care of her a little longer.
…
Feng Jixue, who was hugging his junior sister, closed his eyes unconsciously. His consciousness was groggy and he seemed to have a dream in a trance.
In the dream, he and his junior sister did not part forever. They got married. On the wedding night in the bridal chamber, his junior sister wore the bright red wedding dress that he had chosen himself. She couldn't wait to lift the veil, and then happily threw herself into his arms.
"Brother, you look really good in red."
"Hehe, Senior Brother, why are your ears red again..."
"Oh, good senior brother, don't be shy! Come on, take it off quickly, let me take a closer look, it's not like I haven't seen it before. From now on, I will be your gentle and beautiful little Taoist lover, you have to protect me well!"
His palms were burning, and he uttered an annoyed and helpless "hmm" and held the person in his arms.
...But in the end, he failed to protect her.