Chapter 228
Ji Yanshen's expression suddenly changed. He suddenly took a step forward and grabbed the collar of the man in front of him. He tried hard to suppress the urge to beat the man up. "Are you kidding me?"
"When have you ever been with her? Do you think that sleeping with her for one night will make it right? Lin Shixu, we just had a temporary conflict. I don't believe you can't see what her real purpose is for being with you from the beginning to now!"
What else could the real purpose be?
It was just for revenge and to make him angry. Because of the misunderstanding between him and Zhou Youyou, he did this impulsively.
Ji Shenshen grabbed Lin Shixu's collar fiercely and warned him sarcastically that he thought he could calm down and be more rational, but when things happened, he realized that it was not possible at all. He was now almost going crazy with jealousy.
He now finally understood how Yanyan felt when she saw him and Zhou Youyou entangled that morning. Resentment, anger, unwillingness, loss of control, disbelief, all kinds of chaotic emotions were intertwined together, making it impossible for him to describe the sadness in his heart with words. How could she... really do this?
Especially when he saw the two of them holding hands intimately, it seemed as if she really didn't care at all, as if he had really lost her completely.
The moment he saw that scene, Ji Shenshen felt that all the blood in his limbs and bones rushed to his head in that instant. The extreme shock and discomfort made him almost unable to control himself and he wanted to roar out.
What followed was the rage that he had been suppressing all this time, and finally he couldn't help but burst out.
Ji Yanshen's emotions were out of control, his fingers were shaking with anger, he tightly grasped the other person's collar, his eyes were filled with resentment and jealousy, even though he said it with all his heart, even though he knew Yanyan was with this man for revenge and because of a momentary impulse, he still couldn't stop the fear in his heart.
He didn't know whether Yanyan would forgive him. He was afraid that the relationship between them would never go back to the way it was before. He was even more afraid that he would completely lose Yanyan this time.
The more Ji Yanshen thought about it, the more confused he became. He almost lost control and shouted at him, word by word, "What qualifications do you have to say such things? We have been together for three years, Lin Shixu. You knew that she was in an unstable mood last night, and you knew that she was angry. Why did you take the opportunity to do such a thing to her?"
He was so angry that he could only vent all the unstable emotions in his heart towards the culprit in front of him.
When Lin Shixu heard this, he knew that this person had misunderstood. However, he had no intention of explaining it clearly. Since it was a misunderstanding, then let it be, because he did have this thought now.
Upon hearing this, Lin Shixu said calmly, "You have broken up now." This was a fact, but when someone said it so lightly, it not only showed that he was emotionally stable, but also effectively attacked the enemy.
So the fist once again attacked the opponent's face mercilessly. This time, Lin Shixu turned away very quickly, but his chin was still accidentally scratched.
The intense pain made him cover his chin reflexively, his brows wrinkled unconsciously, and then he counterattacked without hesitation.
Fighting was not his style, it was too embarrassing, but it was even less his style to not react after being punched twice.
The first time, he could still say that it was the tiny moral bottom line in his heart that supported him. After all, he knew that he had indeed gone too far in this matter, and that his behavior could be regarded as "taking advantage of the situation." He took advantage of the conflict between the couple and their unstable emotions to do such a thing.
Under normal circumstances, no one can control their anger. Another thing is that this person helped him two days ago, helping him bring back people when he and Zhou Youyou were in conflict, but he didn't expect things to turn out so drastically.
Both of them were punched in the face, and the smell of gunpowder in the air became thicker and thicker. The situation was about to explode. Seeing the two people's movements becoming more and more noisy, it was obvious that the two girls standing nearby were frightened. Nan Yan was secretly watching the show.
The first person to react was Zhou Youyou who was standing at the door. She simply couldn't imagine that these two people, who were already adults, chose to solve the problem in such an irrational way.
She subconsciously wanted to rush over and pull the two people apart, but in the process of pulling, she was pushed hard by someone and her whole body suddenly fell backwards uncontrollably and hit the entrance cabinet behind her heavily.
Her head hit the cabinet door, and she accidentally knocked over a small orange round lamp and a palm-sized potted plant that were originally placed on the shelf.
It fell to the floor with a loud bang.
Zhou Youyou covered her already injured shoulder, feeling unbelievable pain. Tears instantly welled up in her eyes and then fell uncontrollably one by one.
"Are you crazy?"
The sound of a porcelain vase breaking rang out in the chaotic living room, along with Zhou Youyou's scream of pain, finally stopping the two of them.
But the current situation was not much better. Ji Yanshen's emotions were out of control. Even though both parties had stopped fighting, his hand was still tightly clasped on Lin Shixu's collar and his other hand was clenched into a fist. Just as he was about to hit him hard, Nan Yan suddenly rushed over from the side, reached out and pushed him hard.
Under normal circumstances, Ji Yanshen would not be pushed away so easily, but right now everyone was in the chaos just now, and Ji Yanshen was completely unprepared against her.
This push not only pushed the man away, but also made him stagger. He even uncontrollably crashed into the cabinet behind him, making a dull thumping sound.
Ji Shenshen's expression suddenly changed and he stood there stiffly. After a long while, he raised his head and looked at the person in disbelief.
Nan Yan walked forward and helped the man who was originally pressed against the wooden frame up. She pursed her lips, and the hesitant expression on her face gradually subsided. Then she turned around and looked at her ex-boyfriend opposite her with resentful and rude eyes:
"Ji Lingshen, have you made enough noise by yourself? What are you doing now? Why are you going crazy for no reason? I thought we had made it clear that you and I had broken up. What are you going to do to my boyfriend now?"
As she said this, she tightly grasped Lin Shixu's hand. Perhaps because she was afraid that he would refuse to admit his cooperation, she secretly pinched his palm.
However, as soon as these words were spoken, several people present were stunned, especially Lin Shixu. He lowered his head to look at the two people's hands clasped together, then raised his head to look at his new girlfriend next to him. He didn't say anything, but he had a very strange feeling in his heart. Is this a blessing in disguise?
The relationship between the two...is that certain?
On the other side, Ji Lingshen stared at her blankly. He couldn't believe it. His dark pupils shrank slightly. An indescribable pain quickly surged out from his chest. There was even a moment when he thought he was hallucinating. Boyfriend, she said that man was her boyfriend.
Then what is he?
Are they going to throw away all the feelings they have had for so many years?
How could she say such things to him?
And the attitude of resistance and rejection she displayed, the way she defended another man in front of him, all of this made Ji Lin feel that he could no longer bear it.
He knew that he had done something wrong this time. He did not understand the current situation and did not consider her feelings. However, there was really nothing between him and Zhou Youyou. There were only misunderstandings between them. He could explain it clearly.
But I met those eyes that showed unconcealed disgust.
Ji Shenshen was pinned to the spot by someone. For a moment, he felt as if his heart was being tightly grasped by someone, and then cut by a not-so-sharp, saw-like knife.
A suffocating and unbearable pain instantly spread throughout the chest. Unable to hold it in, and unable to stop, a trembling breathing sound came out of the lungs.
At this moment, no matter how slow he was, no matter how much he deceived himself, he should have known what Yanyan's attitude towards him was.
She had given up on him and no longer cared about him! This realization made Ji Lingshen's body stiffer and stiffer. He suddenly felt cold all over, as if he had fallen into an ice cellar.
He refused to give up and stared hard at her face, trying to find a trace of the same admiration she had for him in her eyes, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find it.
Her hand was still holding another man's hand.
Ji Shenshen came back to his senses from a trance and finally got rid of the out-of-control state, but the pain in his heart became more obvious.
After a long while, Ji Shenshen finally found his voice again, and a dry voice slowly sounded.
"Your boyfriend, you and him..."
Before he could finish his words, Nan Yan interrupted him and said, "It's just like what you saw. We just got together yesterday. He is my boyfriend now."
As soon as these words came out, there was a moment of silence on the scene.
She saw Ji Lingshen's eyes were red. He stared at Nan Yan in front of him, and for a moment, tears almost overflowed from his eyes. When Nan Yan said this, she was looking at him all the time, and her tone was even very calm.
"Ji Lingshen, I told you, it's over between us. Shouldn't you apologize to my boyfriend for bullying him for no reason?"
Nan Yan suddenly said something to him in a cold and harsh tone.
Hearing this, Ji Shenshen was stunned on the spot.
他的身體忽然輕微搖晃了一下，臉色肉眼可見地迅速蒼白起來，他忽然覺得自己整個人有些承受不住了。
他覺得眼前這場景有些眼熟，他跟嫣嫣分手那天也是這樣的，他護着另一個女人，讓她給她道歉。
季蘊深心髒微微有些窒息，胸口隐隐約約有種無法用語言描述的痛苦，甚至只要和面前的兩個人待在一起，那種痛苦就有一種越來越密集的感覺，難受至極。
不是這樣的……不該是這樣的。
他們之間只是誤會，他不喜歡周柚柚了，他只是……嫣嫣喜歡的人是他，明明是他才對，他才是她的男朋友。
她只是在生氣，生氣他那天沒有即使地站在她那一邊，所以才會報複他，才會故意說出這樣的話來氣他的。
嫣嫣喜歡的人一直都是他！
季蘊深幾乎控制不住自己，要在心中喊出聲來，可話到嘴邊，卻發現自己一個字都說不出來的，他的喉嚨仿佛被什麽重重堵住了，哪怕是呼吸吞咽都有一種極大的困難。
是他自己拎不清，是他自己沒有維護好兩人的感情。
以往那些跟女朋友在一起的畫面慢慢湧入腦海中，他們之間有那麽多的回憶、過往還有那些親密相處時的情景，那麽多數不清的回憶，怎麽能說丢掉就丢掉呢？
為什麽連一次解釋的機會都不肯給他呢？
大概是這場面真的太痛苦了，季蘊深沒有再開口，他的腦子裏一片混亂，甚至到最後，他連自己是怎麽離開的都不知道。
而留在原地的周柚柚，她看了一眼季蘊深的背影，又看了一眼面前的林時序，想直接離開卻又心有不甘，她忽然問了一句：
“你就沒什麽要跟我說的嗎？”
周柚柚說這句話的時候，眼眶又跟着紅了一圈，她是真的很不甘心，上輩子追求了他五年多，他們在一起後，他從來沒有為她做過任何改變跟妥協的事情。
不管她最後有多煎熬窒息，他始終都不肯為自己放棄那些亂七八糟的原則跟怪癖。
可是為什麽，為什麽她努力了這麽多年都做不到的事情，卻偏偏被另一個女人輕而易舉地就得到了，為什麽會是這樣的結果？
不是她背叛了他，明明從一開始，就是他把她逼成這個樣子的，但凡能讓她看到一點點希望，上輩子的結局也不會變成那樣。
周柚柚不甘心，她不甘心的是自己上輩子那樣慘淡的結局，只有她一個人遭受這樣的打擊跟痛苦。
可是現在呢，她的竹馬開始怨恨她了，明明上輩子親口承認喜歡過她的季蘊深這輩子卻怨恨上她了，上輩子跟自己痛苦糾纏的男朋友，這輩子卻為了別人打破了所有的原則。
為什麽她的兩輩子都過得這麽不堪？
她真的覺得自己好不甘心，為什麽老天讓她重生了，卻沒有讓她改變這一切的能力，為什麽她付出的努力卻總是沒有回報。
林時序轉頭看向面前的周柚柚，又轉頭看了眼南嫣，然後跟她說，“有點事情要跟她說清楚，我跟她出去談可以嗎？”
可以，當然可以。
這裏不是她的家，這人也不是她的男朋友，剛剛肯配合她把前男友氣上一頓，她現在已經挺滿足的了。
南嫣瞥他一眼後，立馬松了手，裝模作樣而已，其實沒必要這麽事事都看她意向，他們又不是真正的情侶。南嫣側過頭朝他假惺惺笑了一笑，然後轉身一個人進了客廳。
反正外面亂七八糟的情況她也是不會收拾，林時序那麽愛幹淨，他肯定會收拾得比她還幹淨。
于是另一頭的林時序跟周柚柚一起出了客廳，饒過電梯，兩人直接走到了無人打擾的樓道裏，“你有什麽話要跟我說嗎？”
周柚柚沒想到他一開始就這麽開門見山，她看着眼前的前男友，眼圈微紅，努力地讓自己不要将上輩子的事情代入到這輩子，可還是會控制不住自己的思緒。
她抿着唇，沒有說話，而是選擇了另一種更直接的方式去證明，在趁他不注意的時候，故意伸手去牽他的手。
可她的手指才剛伸出去，還沒觸碰到對方，林時序便條件反射性地避開了。
這算什麽？
周柚柚擡頭看他，正好見到了他眼裏的不愉，眼眶裏的淚水瞬間不聽使喚的掉了下來，她盯着眼前的男人。
“她碰你就行，我碰你就不行是嗎？”
“林時序，但凡當初你對待我有今天對待她的一半容忍跟妥協，我們之間也不至于變成現在這副模樣，這一切都是因為你。”
林時序神情愣住，緊接着，情緒又平穩了下來，他的聲音平靜而冷淡，“所以你找我是想驗證什麽是嗎？”
周柚柚立馬說道，“是，我就是想驗證一下，為什麽我努力了那麽多年都做不到的事情，她卻可以輕易做到，林時序，你當初答應跟我在一起，是不是真的有喜歡過我？你是不是只是看我可憐，所以同情我？”
林時序皺了下眉，随即又舒展開來。
“周柚柚，你不覺得現在說這件事情已經沒有任何意義了嗎？”
“我并不是那種死纏爛打的人，你說要分手的時候我有挽回過，但現在這樣的情況，我不覺得自己有什麽地方對不起你。”
周柚柚的手指捏緊了，是啊，他從來沒有做過什麽對不起她的事情，兩輩子加在一起，他都沒有做過什麽出軌的事情。
他們之間的問題從來都不是什麽第三者的問題，他只是用自己的那些怪癖逼得她快要瘋了而已。
可是為什麽不能是為了她而改變呢？
上輩子的她明明已經努力了那麽久啊。
林時序也知道自己身上有些問題，但他自己也不太清楚為什麽對着南嫣的時候，那些抗拒的反應會沒有那麽明顯？
其實也不是不明顯，因為在最開始的時候，他也是很排斥她的，每次接觸都會有種惡心嫌棄的感覺，渾身冒冷汗，所以，他并不是初次見面就對她全盤接受的。
只是陰差陽錯的情況下，這種症狀慢慢有了變輕的趨勢而已。
“還有，我不否認，自己身上的這些症狀在從前的交往中給你帶來了困擾，但這些身體上的本能反應，不是我能克制的。”
“你如果接受不了，從一開始就應該告訴我，而不是被一時的沖動沖昏了頭腦之後，跟我在一起後又立馬離開我，我的感情并不是虛假的，也還沒有達到收放自如的地步。”
他确實是喜歡過，但那份感情也确實是沒那麽深，可能不夠純粹，所以在放棄時，雖然心有不甘，但也沒那麽嚴重。
“我覺得自己沒必要跟你驗證這些情況，還有，既然已經分手了，就沒必要再為了之前的事情後悔，你現在也只是不甘心而已。”
不甘心他的原則因為別人而改變，卻沒有因為她而妥協，這種不甘心其實在她剛提出分手的時候，他也有過。
不甘心為什麽從前一直追在自己身後跑的女生跟自己在一起後，反倒莫名其妙的離開了，她現在的情況就跟當時的他差不多。
周柚柚沒想到他會這麽說，像是被人看穿了心底所想，臉色迅速地蒼白了起來，她也知道自己這是不甘心，可不知道為什麽，看着眼前這人，她胸口還是不受控制的，隐約傳來一陣絞痛，讓她忍不住想要掉眼淚。
……她此刻竟覺得自己有些悲哀，為什麽所有的事情總與她的做法背道而馳，她越是想要什麽，就越是得不到什麽。
說完這幾句話後，林時序也不想再繼續糾纏下去了，事情說開了沒有任何糾纏的必要，更何況，他還有另外的事情要處理。
林時序轉身離開了，留在原地的周柚柚卻不知為何，只覺得胸口處空蕩蕩的，她重生一回，以為自己可以改變上輩子的結局，可事實上，她卻什麽都沒有得到。
……
而在另一邊的林時序回房後就聽到了沙發那邊傳來打游戲的聲音，心口莫名有點堵，這人把他利用完就扔。
當着人前裝模作樣倒是很有一手，嘴上說得蠻好聽，一口一個男朋友護到飛起，結果沒人後，愣是徹底放飛自我了，最後一點含蓄都沒了，都不跟他裝一下。
總歸是有點不是滋味。
不過忍着這不是滋味的林時序還是皺着眉先将客廳的碎片清理幹淨了，然後去浴室洗幹淨，最後拿着一些清理傷口的醫用消毒水走到了客廳，然後坐到了他那個剛新鮮出爐的女朋友身邊。
她還在打游戲，打得快樂飛起，一波神操作後直接送了對面一個人頭，死了也不肯下線，又菜又倔強，就很堅持。
“嫣嫣？”林醫生決定開口呼喚她。
南嫣扭頭，“怎麽了？”
林時序看她頭是扭過來了，眼睛還盯着屏幕，就聲音平靜說了句，“沒什麽，等你結束我們再說，這件事情先不着急。”
After he finished speaking, he probably thought of something else and added, "Don't drink so much next time."
"Oh." Nan Yan responded casually.
But she soon noticed the man next to her staring at her. He said it was okay and he was not in a hurry, but he didn't look like he was in no hurry at all. There was such an empty space on the sofa, but this man just sat next to her and stared at her, which made her feel uneasy and she thought he might explode and hit her in the next second.
Nan Yan couldn't hold back any longer. She stopped the game and quickly gave away a kill. Then she closed the game and turned to look at Lin Shixu. "What do you want to say?"
Lin Shixu was still hesitant at first, and had been thinking about it for a long time. But the longer he thought about it, the harder it became to say it. He realized that something was wrong with him, so he finally spoke up: "There is something I need to clarify with you about our relationship. I want to reconfirm that we are boyfriend and girlfriend now, right?"
Originally, he wanted to wait some time before confirming it, but the opportunity came today, and since she had taken the initiative to say it, Lin Shixu felt that he could not back down.
Nan Yan looked at him strangely, then couldn't help laughing. The term "a shrewd person" probably refers to people like her. "You like me? You want to be my boyfriend? But didn't you complain that I was too dirty yesterday and wanted to throw me out?"
Lin Shixu also felt that his condition was a little abnormal, and his mood changes were a little unbelievable, but sometimes people's emotions are like this, but soon his face returned to normal, "I just want you to be honest, I won't really do that."
Nan Yan's eyes turned, and she suddenly reached out, pretending to touch him, "If I reach out and touch you, will you object?
Hearing her say this, Lin Shixu understood that the other party probably knew about his obsessive-compulsive disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, this was also normal. Although they met not many times, he always felt a headache every time they got along.
Lin Shixu spoke calmly, with almost no resistance on his face, and said, "You can try it."
After hearing this, Nan Yan immediately stood up from her leaning on the sofa, clenched her hands, pinched his face hard, and then started rubbing it randomly.
It was like a naughty child who had caught a fun stuffed toy and was pulling at the fleshy part of his cheek and refusing to let go.
It seems like this is fake leather.
It was always abnormal for her to get close to him before. Either he was embarrassed or she wanted to cause him to be embarrassed. In that helpless situation, he had to restrain his body's instinctive reactions. But now, Nan Yan reached out and ravaged him, and found that apart from frowning at the beginning, he didn't have much resistance.
What she didn't know was that Lin Shixu frowned because she had just poked the wound on his chin with one of her hands.
Lin Shixu reached out and held the pair of restless hands, but the hands were also restless in his palms.
Lin Shixu felt that this was not okay, so he looked down at her, and then, when she was completely unprepared, he suddenly stretched out his other hand and gently lifted her chin, then kissed her naturally along the direction of her raised neck.
The soft lips were pressed hard, and a long, breath-taking kiss came over and held Nan Yan's lips.
After about three seconds, Lin Shixu immediately left her lips and just looked at the stunned woman in front of him. He said calmly without blushing or panting, "It won't be uncomfortable this way, and it will be very pleasant. I want to get more, but our relationship is temporarily a little confusing and complicated, so I didn't continue. Do you think this situation is tolerable?"
Nan Yan: “…”
Good man, this guy has turned the tables. It seems that Dr. Lin is not as traditional and conservative as she imagined.
Before Nan Yan opened her mouth, she heard him continue, "I do have some quirks and obsessive-compulsive disorder, but it's not impossible to overcome them. It may take some time. Can you accept that?"
He heard the woman across from him say, "After we get together, will you still be entangled with your ex?"
Lin Shixu shook his head, "I have already explained it clearly to her."
Nan Yan continued, looking at him vaguely, "You have so many quirks, who knows if you will have more problems in bed in the future? If I am with you, what should I do if you bully me in the future?"
Lin Shixu's eyelids twitched. He didn't expect her thoughts to jump so quickly, jumping to the bed in an instant, jumping from cleanliness to some special fetishes. He was not that perverted. At most, he just had some small hobbies that normal people have.
"...No, I can guarantee it."
Doctor Lin coughed twice, and for some reason he was embarrassed. This was probably the first time he had discussed such a matter with someone so calmly. Then he said in a low, cold voice, "My sexual preferences are normal, and I don't have any special hobbies. However, if you have any hobbies, I can cooperate."
Nan Yan's eyes widened, and she deliberately asked him, "You are so considerate, so tying me up or whipping me is okay?"
Doctor Lin looked at the man in a somewhat absurd way. His expression was indescribable. "...You like this?"
Nan Yan nodded, "If I like it, will you let me play with it?"
Lin Shixu probably didn't expect her to be so direct. How could a girl who looked so well-behaved and obedient like this? Her thoughts were so unrestrained. He expressed that he didn't understand but could only respect her, "...it will hurt. If you like, we can play something gentler in the future."