Chapter 2
University life was like a newly unfolded, splendid canvas, providing Zhao Jinglu with an unprecedentedly broad stage. Like a voracious sponge, she absorbed all new knowledge and relished the freedom and autonomy that came with breaking free from the shackles of the Gaokao.
Academically, her major in Human Sports Science opened the door to a new world for her. Muscle-skeletal models, biomechanical analysis of exercise, physiological and biochemical indicators—these seemingly dull subjects became vivid because of her passion for movement itself. She often spent time in the lab and library, poring over complex charts and data. The process of unraveling the mysteries of the human body through rational thinking brought her immense satisfaction. Sun Wei, her direct senior, proved incredibly helpful, lending her notes and highlighting key points, helping her adapt more quickly to the pace of university.
In the hip-hop dance club, she found a true sense of belonging. Her successful performance at the welcome party catapulted her to fame. No longer the freshman in need of guidance, she began participating in choreography discussions, coaching new members on moves and details. The sweat, the rhythm, the unison dance, and the cheers of the audience—all of it—made her feel incredibly alive and joyful. Her innate stage presence and teaching abilities were fully unleashed in the more open environment of university.
Her interpersonal relationships also became more diverse. She still kept in touch with her high school friends, and she and Fan Chen had evolved from good friends to "family." Fan Chen's school wasn't too far from Beijing Sport University, and he'd occasionally arrange a get-together and call her: "Zhao Jinglu, come out and get some food! The cafeteria's ripping you dry!" Or he'd simply drive up to Zhao Jinglu's school and show off: "Look at my new car, a Mercedes-Benz E-Class! How's it? I just want to ask if you're handsome!" Zhao Jinglu would then point at the car with a pretentious, "Wow! Can I touch it, please?" She naturally enjoyed hanging out with him, chatting about their college experiences and complaining about their eccentric professors, as if they were back in high school, enjoying the lighthearted banter.
These fulfilling and free days were shattered by a major national event in 2009: the 60th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China. A grand military parade and mass procession were being organized, and the university student parade would be selected from various universities. The announcement of this event immediately caused a sensation within the university community. Being able to participate was undoubtedly the highest honor.
After the selection notice was posted, a heated discussion broke out in Zhao Jinglu's dormitory.
"Oh my God! The National Day military parade! Being able to walk past Tiananmen Square! My blood boils just thinking about it!" a roommate said excitedly.
"Yes, this may be the only chance in a lifetime!" another agreed.
But after the initial excitement, practical considerations soon emerged.
"But I heard the training is extremely tough, taking up the entire summer vacation. Not only will you get tanned, but you won't even be able to go home."
"It's not just the summer vacation; the early stages of selection and training take up a lot of time. And the requirements are extremely strict. For freshmen like us, the chances of getting selected are too small."
"The most important thing is, what should I do about my summer internship? Many good companies are looking for interns during the summer, and this is a major factor in finding a job in the future. It's not worth it to waste a valuable internship opportunity for something that I almost won't get selected for."
The more everyone talked about it, the more hopeless and costly it seemed. Even my roommate, who had initially been excited, backed off: "Ah, that's true. Forget it, I'm not joining in on this fun anymore."
Finally, the dorm head concluded his speech: "Then it's a deal. We won't register anymore. Let's look for internships together this summer and even go on a trip together!"
Although Zhao Jinglu felt that it was a great honor to be able to participate in such a grand national event and it would be a shame to miss it, seeing that everyone had reached an agreement and not wanting to make any special arrangements, she nodded and said, "Okay."
Things should have just ended like this.
However, a few days later, Xiao Duo, who was usually the quietest roommate and always stayed by Zhao Jinglu's side, quietly pulled her to the stairwell.
"Jinglu," Xiao Duo said softly, her eyes gleaming with both desire and fear. "I... I still want to sign up and give it a try. I'll definitely not be selected anyway, and I just don't want to have any regrets. But I don't dare to go by myself. Can you... can you go with me? Just to give me courage. Let's not tell anyone else, otherwise they'll think we're going back on our word."
Seeing Xiao Duo's pleading eyes, Zhao Jinglu's heart softened again. She thought, since she wouldn't be selected anyway, it would be good to accompany her friend to the interview and practice her courage, so she agreed: "Okay, I'll go with you."
But she never expected that a month later, when the selection results were announced, her name—Zhao Jinglu—was the only one in the department to appear on the final list!
When the news came out, the dormitory was in an uproar.
After the initial shock, there was great disappointment and anger.
"Zhao Jinglu! What do you mean? Didn't we agree that no one would sign up?"
"So you're saying one thing to our faces and another behind our backs? Are you treating us like fools?"
"You agreed to it verbally, but then you secretly signed up? Just to get some attention?"
"You usually act like you're serious, but I didn't expect you to be so cunning! Are you afraid we'll compete with you?"
Zhao Jinglu was stunned by the barrage of accusations. She subconsciously looked at Xiao Duo, but saw Xiao Duo with her head bowed, huddled in front of her desk, not saying a word, as if this matter had nothing to do with her.
At that moment, Zhao Jinglu understood everything. Xiao Duo had dragged her along, perhaps from the very beginning, to increase her chances of being chosen, or perhaps simply because she feared needing someone to share the embarrassment of failure. And now, with the unexpected outcome, Xiao Duo had chosen to completely disappear, pushing her into opposition with everyone.
Explain? Say she went there with Xiao Duo? Regardless of whether Xiao Duo would admit it, even if she did, would it change the outcome? Everyone would just think they were colluding to deceive everyone, or worse, that Zhao Jinglu was dragging others down with her, further solidifying her reputation as a scheming woman.
A cold, familiar feeling of isolation enveloped her once again. Even more powerless than she had been in middle school, this time, she couldn't even defend herself.
She looked at the angry and disdainful faces of her roommates, who had once joked and played together, and at Xiao Duo's ostrich-like back. Thousands of words were stuck in her chest, and in the end, they only turned into a weak sigh and a light, "...I'm sorry, the situation is not what you think."
But no one wanted to hear her explanation. Once trust was broken, the rift was difficult to mend.
That evening, she sat alone on the steps below the dormitory, hugging her knees, feeling unprecedented exhaustion and grievance. Once again, she had fallen into the quagmire of interpersonal relationships because she agreed to someone's request and wanted to do what she believed was right.
Just then, a familiar figure sat down next to her and handed her a bottle of warm honey grapefruit tea.
It was Ling Peng. He came to see Sun Wei. Maybe... he wanted to see someone too.
He saw her huddled here alone from afar, her figure revealing a deep sense of loss.
"What's wrong? You look like you've been abandoned by the whole world." His voice was calm, with a reassuring power.
Zhao Jinglu raised her head, her eyes a little red, but she forced a smile. Perhaps because she needed to talk too much, or perhaps because she knew he would always understand, she didn't even have time to ask why he was there. She concealed nothing and told him the whole story, including Xiao Duo's request and her final silence.
After she finished speaking, she looked at the figures running on the playground in the distance, her voice filled with confusion and a subtle bitterness. "Senior, I think I understand a little bit now. Being a kind person is difficult in itself. When others need help, they are most likely to think of you first, but when you need them, they are also most likely to reject you."
She may have said this out of emotion before, but now, it is a deep understanding gained from personal grievances and lessons.
Ling Peng listened quietly without interrupting her. He waited until she finished speaking before he spoke slowly, "So, you chose not to reveal the girl and took all the blame yourself?"
Zhao Jinglu nodded, her voice lowering. "There's no point in saying it. It will only make the situation worse. She...she's probably scared too."
Ling Peng looked at her with a deep gaze. He saw not a girl crushed by the loss, but someone who, despite being wronged, still tried to understand others and chose to bear the difficulties alone. This strong and gentle heart moved him far more than the brilliance on the stage.
He felt a strong desire to protect her, but more than that, he felt deep appreciation and respect.
"You're not wrong." His voice was very firm. "The one who's wrong is the one who took advantage of your kindness and didn't dare to take responsibility. The ones who are wrong are those who judged you without asking any questions."
"But... it feels so difficult." Zhao Jinglu said softly, finally revealing a hint of vulnerability.
"It's because you chose the more difficult path." Ling Peng looked at her, his tone becoming particularly serious. "This path is called 'having a clear conscience.' Those who take this path are destined to experience a bit of hardship, but they will also go further and more steadily than others."
He paused and added, "Besides, you haven't been abandoned by the whole world. At least there's someone who has heard your whole story and thinks you're doing great."
Zhao Jinglu was stunned for a moment when she heard this, then burst out laughing. The tears in her eyes hadn't dried yet, but her smile was already blooming. This affirmation, tinged with vulgar words, struck her heart more forcefully than any comfort.
"Cheer up, you're about to go down in history. Train hard."
"good."
As the evening breeze blew, the ice in her heart seemed to be smoothed and melted little by little by the bottle of grapefruit tea and his words.
She knew the trouble was still there, but she seemed to have the strength to face it again.
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