Chapter 20
The hot pot feast ended with a lively atmosphere and a subtle aftertaste. Zhang Hao and Sun Wei excitedly exchanged contact information with Zhao Jinglu, patting their chests and promising, "Come visit our school in the future. Food, lodging, and a tour guide are all provided! And there are handsome guys too! I'll introduce you to them!"
Ling Peng watched from the side with a faint smile on his face.
As they left the hot pot restaurant, a cold breeze blew, dispelling some of the excitement. Zhang Hao and Sun Wei walked off in the other direction, arm in arm, winking at Ling Peng before leaving.
"Let's go. I'll take you to the station." Ling Peng said to Zhao Jinglu naturally.
Zhao Jinglu thought of the phone call just now and subconsciously wanted to refuse: "No, it's not far, I can do it myself, it's pretty quick."
Ling Peng turned his head to look at her, the light from the street lamp casting tiny specks of light in his eyes. He smiled, his tone ordinary but with an unquestionable meaning: "On the way. Have you forgotten? We used to walk this way after rehearsals."
That one sentence easily brought back the time to those winter nights years ago, when we walked one after the other along the quiet campus road. Those once dusty, insignificant shared memories suddenly became clear.
Zhao Jinglu stopped refusing and nodded: "Yeah, that's right."
The two walked side by side on the winter night's streets. Unlike the bustle of the hot pot restaurant, the surroundings were much quieter now, with only the sounds of footsteps and the occasional passing car. The atmosphere wasn't awkward, but rather strangely peaceful.
"Zhang Hao and the others are still the same, making so much noise that it gives me a headache." Ling Peng said casually.
"But I'm very happy. I envy you guys for still having such a good relationship after all this time."
"Yeah, I'm used to it after all these years of noise." Ling Peng smiled and asked, "How about you? The finals are coming up soon. Are you stressed?"
"It's okay, but the physics is a bit of a headache. I always lack ideas."
"Which part? Mechanics or electromagnetism?"
"Regarding electromagnetic induction, Lenz's law sometimes fails to accurately determine the direction..."
"Well, there's a little trick..."
They chatted haphazardly, ranging from academics to university majors and casual campus anecdotes. Ling Peng spoke more than Zhao Jinglu remembered, and was more patient. He listened attentively, offering advice or sharing his perspective. Zhao Jinglu discovered that, stripped of the aura of "senior" and "basketball star," and aside from his occasional sass, Ling Peng was a clear-minded, attentive listener, and surprisingly talkative. Chatting with him was relaxing and fulfilling. Ling Peng, in turn, felt no generation gap with Zhao Jinglu, as he did with friends of the same age.
The road seemed to get shorter, and before long the lights of the bus stop were right in front of us.
"The bus hasn't arrived yet." Ling Peng looked at the bus stop sign.
"Well, you go back first. Thank you for sending me off." Zhao Jinglu said.
"I'll watch you get in the car." Ling Peng stood beside her with his hands in his coat pockets, showing no intention of leaving.
In the chill of the winter night, the two of them sat silent for a moment, yet it didn't feel awkward. Zhao Jinglu stared at the busy streets before her, her heart unusually calm and clear. This natural, comfortable chat with Ling Peng was like a mirror, suddenly revealing the fundamental difference between her and Xu Linjie, the always cautious, carefully maintained atmosphere between them.
She might have harbored a girlish admiration for Ling Peng, the surprise of reuniting after a long separation, gratitude for his understanding and guidance, even a touch of attraction, but she knew clearly that she had no "unreasonable desires" at this moment. Rather, it was this relaxed, stress-free interaction that made her suddenly realize that her feelings for Xu Linjie were more a habit and admiration wrapped in tenderness, rather than an irrepressible urge to be close. She admired his talent and was grateful for his care, but she couldn't reciprocate his near-absolute expectations, the demands that she shrink her world.
After realizing this, a sense of relief washed over her. She knew what she had to do.
The bus slowly pulled into the station.
"The car is here. Goodbye, senior. Be careful on the road." Zhao Jinglu waved to Ling Peng.
"Okay, send a text message when you get home." Ling Peng reminded.
"good."
The car door closed and drove away. Zhao Jinglu looked out the window and saw Ling Peng still standing there, his figure stretched out under the streetlight until he turned the corner and could no longer be seen.
She took out her cell phone and without hesitation, edited a text message and sent it to Xu Linjie.
"Lin Jie, thank you for your continued concern and care. I've thought about it for a long time and feel that we might be better off just being ordinary friends. I'm sorry for causing you misunderstanding and trouble before. I hope we can still get along like classmates in the future. I wish you good luck with your studies."
The message was sent successfully, and she breathed a long sigh of relief, as if an invisible burden had been lifted from her shoulders.
Over the next few days, Zhao Jinglu's attitude towards Xu Linjie at school became much more relaxed. She still discussed issues with him, but only on academic topics. When they met, they would greet each other, but with a polite and courteous smile, maintaining a clear boundary, just like treating any ordinary classmate she knew well.
No longer burdened by the guilt and concerns about Xu Linjie's feelings, she felt more relaxed around Fan Chen. During breaks, the two of them could once again freely banter, share snacks, argue over math problems, and then be reassured by each other. Zhao Jinglu smiled more often, a genuine lightness and brightness that had rarely been seen in recent times.
That afternoon, during break, Zhao Jinglu was laughing so hard at one of Fan Chen's jokes that tears welled up in her eyes. Xu Linjie happened to walk in from the back door of the classroom and saw the whole scene.
He saw Zhao Jinglu smiling so happily, without any gloom, in stark contrast to her polite and distant demeanor towards him. An indescribable rage and frustration instantly overwhelmed his usual calm and composure.
The next second, there was a loud "bang"!
Xu Linjie slammed his fist into the door, and the loud noise instantly interrupted all the noise in the classroom. Everyone was startled and looked towards the door in astonishment.
Xu Linjie's face turned ashen, his chest heaving violently, and he swept gloomily in the direction of Zhao Jinglu and Fan Chen with his eyes filled with anger and unwillingness.
Zhao Jinglu's smile froze on her face and her heart sank suddenly.
Fan Chen was also stunned and subconsciously leaned towards Zhao Jinglu.
The classroom was dead silent.
A few seconds passed before Xu Linjie seemed to realize what he had done. He jerked his hand back, his knuckles already red. He took a deep breath, suppressing his turbulent emotions. He avoided everyone's gaze, especially Zhao Jinglu's, which held a mixture of astonishment and a hint of unease. He managed a dry, hoarse voice, "...Sorry, my hand slipped."
After saying that, he lowered his head, walked quickly back to his seat, sat down heavily, took out his book, and never looked up again.
The students around him looked at each other in bewilderment and whispered to each other, no one believing the excuse of "slipping my hand." How could Xu Linjie, usually gentle and polite, suddenly lose control?
Zhao Jinglu sat in her seat, her fingers slightly cold. She knew that punch wasn't a slip of the hand; it was meant for her. Her text message, attempting to end things gently, hadn't truly let him go. The vague unease she'd felt had become a reality.
The fragile bond between her and Xu Linjie, known as "ordinary classmates," was completely severed by that punch. A relationship that had already weighed heavily on her before it even officially began came to an end in an unexpected and drastic way.
The atmosphere in the classroom remained somewhat stagnant. Zhao Jinglu lowered her head and sighed softly. It seemed that on the road to growth, such turmoil and determination were always inevitable.
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