Chapter 9
The winter snow melted, and the spring breeze, carrying the scent of earth and young buds, quietly greened the corners of campus. The days of the second semester of high school accelerated like clockwork, and the air was filled with the tension of academic proficiency tests and future class placement.
For Zhao Jinglu, the heartbeat frequency of this spring seems to always be related to one person.
Her relationship with Xu Linjie entered a period of tacit ambiguity. There was no formal confession, no hand-holding, but everything clearly indicated their uniqueness. He still appeared at the back door of the classroom every day, waiting for her after school. But their route was no longer limited to the bus stop. Sometimes they would take a detour to a newly opened stationery store, or sit on a bench in the park, sharing a pair of headphones and listening to Jay Chou's new album, "Chopin in November"—even though it was already April.
Their conversations expanded beyond homework to far more distant topics. They discussed their favorite movies and books, only to discover he also read Harry Potter. They recounted childhood memories and vague visions of the future. Xu Linjie always listened patiently, then gently shared his perspective. He would help her when she accidentally stepped on a loose tile, splashing dirty water; when she complained about the difficulty of a math problem, he would magically pull out from his bag the pizza-flavored Pocky she had been craving.
The feeling of being cared for, of being treated specially, washed over Zhao Jinglu like a warm tide. She began to get used to seeing him every day, to his gentle smile and focused gaze. The little deer in her heart, initially panic-stricken, became more and more calm, and occasionally, she would suddenly jump into joy at a word or a gesture from him.
However, this sweet closeness also invisibly built a transparent wall.
Fan Chen and Wang Lei were still her deskmate and her backseat, but the unbridled banter and playful banter between classes had noticeably diminished. They still talked to her and discussed problems, but the unwavering, unbounded feeling of "brotherhood" had faded. Sometimes, when Zhao Jinglu excitedly tried to join in on their discussions about games or basketball, they would pause, then say with a smile, "Hey, there's no point listening to that. You're definitely not going to be able to have a conversation with Xu Linjie."
Gradually, she was no longer always included in the regular lunch break walks and after-school "four-person internet cafe" activities (although Zhao Jinglu never participated in the games, she would watch and do her homework nearby). It was as if they tacitly accepted that she had more "important" companions.
Zhao Jinglu wasn't unaware of this alienation. She felt a small sense of loss, but it was quickly overcome by a bottle of warm milk tea Xu Linjie passed her during break, or a cheery remark on the way home. She consoled herself: "Everyone's just grown up, with their own circles and interests. It's normal." She was still good friends with Fan Chen and Wang Lei, but they just weren't as constantly together as before.
As for Gao Xin, he seemed to have become more silent. He was still considerate and attentive, taking care of class chores, but there was always something hidden in his eyes. Zhao Jinglu occasionally asked him if the pressure of studying was too great, but he would just shake his head, force a smile, and say, "Nothing." She was immersed in her own sweet troubles and academic pressures, not thinking deeply.
Until that afternoon, a sudden storm swept through her life, which had been just a gentle ripple, without any warning.
During a break that day, there was an unusual commotion and suppressed crying outside the classroom. A classmate ran in, his face quizzical, and whispered, "Oh my God! The parents of the girl from the next class have come to school! They're making a scene in the Academic Affairs Office! They say Gao Xin... slept with their daughter!"
"What?!" The moment she heard Gao Xin's name, the lead in Zhao Jinglu's mechanical pencil snapped. She whipped her head around and looked at Gao Xin's seat—it was empty. A chill shot up from her feet to her head.
She subconsciously looked at Fan Chen and Wang Lei. Their faces were pale and their eyes were evasive. It was obvious that they knew something earlier than her, but they tacitly chose to remain silent to her.
Over the next few days, the situation escalated at an alarming rate. Rumors spread like a virus throughout the grade. In the academic affairs office, the homeroom teacher's office, the principal's office... Gao Xin and the girl's names were mentioned repeatedly, accompanied by heavy and harsh words like "premature love," "crossing the line," and "improper conduct."
Zhao Jinglu was completely bewildered. She wanted to find Gao Xin to clarify, but he was nowhere to be seen. She texted him, but received no response. She wanted to ask Fan Chen and Wang Lei, but they either avoided the topic or simply shook their heads gravely, "Brother Lu, don't ask. This is... complicated."
She felt like an outsider, isolated from the eye of the storm, helpless to watch as the swirling vortex swallowed up her former friend. She felt fear, worry, and a sense of being excluded and powerless—why hadn't anyone told her? Why hadn't Gao Xin even said a word to her?
The final outcome was cold and swift: Gao Xin transferred to another school. Quietly, without a word, without a goodbye.
That morning, Zhao Jinglu arrived at school and saw Gao Xin's seat completely empty. The tabletop was so clean it glistened, as if no one had ever sat there. Her heart felt like it was being yanked hard, leaving her feeling empty and painful.
During the break, she finally couldn't help herself and stopped Fan Chen and Wang Lei at the stairs, her voice choking with sobs: "Gao Xin...he just left like that? He didn't even say goodbye to me? Did you know about this a long time ago? Why didn't you tell me?"
Fan Chen and Wang Lei exchanged a complex glance. Wang Lei opened his mouth, but ultimately lowered his head dejectedly. Fan Chen cracked his knuckles, making a crackling sound, and sighed, his tone more distant than ever. "Zhao Jinglu, weren't you with Xu Linjie all that time? We thought... you might not care as much about these things anymore."
Those words, like a blunt knife, slowly cut through Zhao Jinglu's heart. She froze in place, watching her two former boisterous friends silently turn and leave. Suddenly, she realized that the transparent wall was much thicker than she had imagined.
The sweet, ambiguous period came to an abrupt end, shattered by the cold reality and the departure of her friends. Standing in the empty stairwell, she felt an unprecedented sense of loneliness and confusion. A spring breeze blew in through the window, but it carried a biting chill.
Gao Xin, who was always gentle and considerate, like a stabilizer, who would helplessly watch them fooling around and silently help her deal with the class representative, just disappeared from her life like that, without even giving her a chance to explain.
While all this was happening, she was immersed in the gentle gaze of another person and was unaware of it.
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