Chapter 16
At two o'clock on Saturday afternoon, Zhao Jinglu finally showed up at the school gate. The sunlight was blinding, and her heart felt heavy, like a weight weighing on her. Xu Linjie's pointed questions still echoed in her ears, making her uneasy all the way there.
Ling Peng had already arrived, still wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans, which was enough to show off his handsomeness. He stood tall and straight in the shade of the tree. Seeing her, he smiled and waved, showing his white teeth: "You're quite punctual."
His smile was still bright and cheerful, but Zhao Jinglu couldn't respond as naturally as last time. She just managed a forced smile: "Hello, senior."
Ling Peng keenly noticed that she was in a bad mood, and the smile on his face faded a little. He asked with a hint of teasing but still concerned: "What's wrong? Who bullied the children?"
This familiar, slightly teasing tone actually relaxed Zhao Jinglu's tense nerves a little. She shook her head, "No... I just haven't figured out something yet. Let's go."
On the way to the bookstore, Zhao Jinglu's words became noticeably quieter. Ling Peng glanced at her several times, but didn't press the issue further. Instead, he shifted the conversation to the complexities and interesting aspects of the project he was working on. He spoke at a steady pace, describing the project's complexities and interesting aspects, occasionally teasing her with one or two silly incidents from the lab.
Finally, I arrived at the bookstore hidden in a residential building. Pushing open the unassuming wooden door, I was enveloped by the familiar scent of books and a quiet atmosphere.
"This place really looks like a treasure." Ling Peng praised in a low voice, his eyes immediately drawn to the dazzling array of bookshelves.
Zhao Jinglu pointed to the corner where professional books and magazines were placed: "The book you are looking for is probably over there. I'll go over there and take a look." She needed some space alone to sort out her thoughts.
She wandered aimlessly between the shelves, her eyes unconsciously glancing over the spines, her mind a tangle. Xu Linjie's anger, the previous estrangement between Fan Chen and Wang Lei, Gao Xin's sudden departure, the unhappy end of her junior high school group... She found herself constantly stumbling in her relationships. The harder she tried to do well, the more chaotic her situation became. A deep sense of failure and bewilderment gripped her.
Suddenly, a thick book caught her sight - How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie. She pulled it out as if possessed by a ghost and began to read it while leaning against the bookshelf.
Just as she was absorbed in watching, feeling a mixture of emotions, Ling Peng's voice rang out softly beside her: "Why are you watching this? You're even raising the issue of human nature?"
Zhao Jinglu was startled, as if her thoughts were seen through. She subconsciously wanted to close the book, and her cheeks felt a little hot.
Ling Peng had already walked to her side, holding two thick professional journals in his hands. He glanced at the titles of the books in her hands, and then looked at her face which was obviously full of worries. His tone softened and became more serious: "Have you really encountered a problem? Tell me about it, maybe I have an antidote here?" He pointed to his head.
This playful yet genuine concern was the final straw that broke Zhao Jinglu's heart. She lowered her head, her voice choking with sobs, "Senior... I feel like a complete failure..."
She spoke disjointedly, blurting out specific names and details, but getting the gist across. She explained how she didn't know how to balance the people and relationships around her. She'd been too close to one friend before, seemingly neglecting others and even losing important friends. Now, she wanted to win back her friend, but she felt ignored and accused her of always surrounding herself with boys.
She spoke in a roundabout way, but Ling Peng listened patiently.
"No matter what I do, it seems like nothing I do is right... I don't want to ignore anyone, nor do I want to make anyone sad... Why do I always end up messing up?" Her voice was full of confusion and self-doubt. She even mentioned the isolation she had experienced before. That cold feeling scared her.
Ling Peng listened quietly without interrupting her. After she finished speaking, he leaned against the bookshelf, lost in thought.
"First of all," he began, his voice steady, "the fact that you're troubled by this just proves that you're sentimental and care about other people's feelings. There's nothing wrong with that in itself."
He paused, looking at her with an almost sharp understanding in his eyes. "Also, from what I've observed—even though we've only met a few times—you do have a certain quality that makes you quite likable. It makes people want to be friends with you, or... rely on you. This isn't a bad thing; it's your charm."
These words were so direct that Zhao Jinglu was stunned. Her cheeks became even hotter and she forgot her sadness for a moment.
"But," Ling Peng changed the subject, his tone becoming more objective and pragmatic, as if he were analyzing a physics problem, "when there are many people, their needs become diverse. Some people need your help with a problem, some want to share interesting stories with you, and some...may just want more companionship and attention. You're not RMB, you can't please everyone, let alone meet everyone's needs. This isn't your fault; it's the norm in interpersonal relationships."
He picked up the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" in her hand and weighed it. "This book teaches skills, but the core is this: sincerity is the foundation, but you also need to know how to protect yourself and set boundaries. For example, try to fulfill your promises to others, and if you can't, tell them in advance. For example, if you feel that someone may have a good impression of you that goes beyond friendship, and you can't respond, you should be a little more careful with your words and actions, and don't inadvertently give them the hope of misunderstanding. This is not perfunctory, it is responsible for both parties."
He spoke very bluntly, without any empty consolation, but instead gave an almost cold but practical analysis.
"I used to be like that when I played basketball," he shrugged, chuckling self-deprecatingly. "I was obsessed with winning, and I wanted to have the ball in my hands all the time. As a result, my teammates were unhappy, and they didn't run or cooperate, which led to even worse losses. Later I realized that scoring is important, but putting my teammates in the most comfortable position is even more important. It's the same principle with interpersonal relationships."
He looked at Zhao Jinglu with a frank look in his eyes. "So, don't be so quick to deny yourself. You're feeling confused now because you're just beginning to realize these problems. Take your time and figure out a way to get along with others that's comfortable for you and that also takes care of your significant other. As for those who leave because you 'can't be perfect,'" he paused. "Maybe they weren't meant to be."
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