"How can you let yourself... just live like that?
"Yes, my leg is broken, but some people can still live a fulfilling life without legs!
"Later he became seriously ill, and I rushed back from the army.
"I thought I had no feelings for him anymore. He was so troublesome and even caused trouble for my mother..."
Ye Feng's voice suddenly stopped, and after a while, he continued, "I still remember his last appearance.
"He had an unshaven beard, was skinny and sallow, but he actually smiled the most vibrant smile he had seen in years.
"He didn't mention me or my mom in his final moments. He even had a smile on his face when he left.
"Maybe I'm relieved. For so many years, I've been tormented and become half-human, half-ghost.
"That face is fixed in my mind. Sometimes I can think of it whenever I look down or up. Even in the first two years after he left, I would always dream about him.
"I often thought afterwards that habit can really turn a person into a god or a devil.
"If you can't control it, it will lead you by the nose.
"If you compromise once, you will compromise again and again, and eventually you will become a useless person, just surviving, a cowardly existence.
"I don't even have the strength to break it and get rid of it. I can only be freed by death."
Ye Feng wiped his face and said, "Alas, I don't know what I said, it's all gibberish.
"I just, for some reason, suddenly thought of the past. Actually, I shouldn't have thought about it. It's been so many years."
Ye Feng's emotions were fluctuating, and there was a slight nasal tone in his voice.
"Maybe it's because I'm in a place like this where I have nothing to do with anyone, that I suddenly feel like no matter how bad things are, this is the last thing in the world that has anything to do with me.
"Oh, I won't say anymore, it's hypocritical."
But Safeng wanted to listen for no reason: "Go ahead."
Ye Feng was slightly stunned: "What did you say?"
"Anything."
Safeng really wants to hear about this person now, anything is fine.
Ye Feng laughed: "Okay, then I'll just say it casually, and you can just listen."
Since I don't feel like sleeping now, I'll just talk.
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