Chapter 34, Song 34...
Xiang Min wanted to explain something, but he couldn't say anything. Qu Jiaying didn't give him a chance and just kept making him practice the piano.
“Now only the two of us haven’t mastered it yet, so you should think of a way to solve your problem,” Qu Jiaying said.
Xiang Min took a deep breath, leaned the cello against her, and began to play softly.
His emotional investment is worse than his lack of investment; it feels like he's protesting the institution of marriage. It would be better if he didn't invest any emotion, just offering superficial congratulations.
"I can't change it," Xiang Min said frankly.
"But if you don't put your heart into the performance, the effect will be poor," Yan Zheng commented.
“But Xiang Min’s interpretation is completely off, making the ensemble sound strange,” Le Yi said.
Qu Jiaying asked, "There's still some time before the performance, can you handle it?"
"I'll figure something out," Xiang Min assured him.
"I believe in you," Qu Jiaying said, then continued practicing the piano.
She was still not satisfied with her performance and became more and more anxious the more she practiced.
Ruan Qi is making progress, while she is regressing.
I'm already a junior in college, and next year I'll be competing non-stop until I become a soloist.
The more Qu Jiaying learned about Xia Xiaolei's past, the more she understood how arduous this path had been.
Even if you win an international competition, you can't be called a soloist if you can't consistently record albums with different symphony orchestras, hold concerts, or even tour the world.
There are so many international competitions, and a champion is crowned every year, but how many soloists are there?
Qu Jiaying realized that she had underestimated the world of classical music before. She was just stubbornly pushing herself against the wall, believing that she could succeed.
A few days ago, Qiu Xue was not feeling well. Her boyfriend said she had been lying in bed for several days and her bipolar symptoms had relapsed. Qu Jiaying bought some fruit and snacks to visit her.
Qiu Xue was very depressed. Her boyfriend, Wang Zhou, who graduated from the composition department, explained to Qu Jiaying: "We made videos together and they became somewhat popular, but there were also a lot of criticisms. She couldn't take it and had another outburst."
"You've still taken your medication, haven't you?" Qu Jiaying asked with concern.
Wang Zhou smiled wryly: "She felt things were going well before, so she stopped for a while, and then this happened."
"You've worked hard too." Qu Jiaying noticed that he had picked Qiu Xue up from the dormitory and was taking good care of her.
“This is what I should do,” Wang Zhou said regretfully. “I was the one who encouraged her to make videos in the first place. She has a lot of imaginative ideas. It’s not easy to find a job playing the clarinet, so I came up with this method.”
Qiu Xue is one year older than Qu Jiaying and is already a senior.
Wang Zhou's concerns are valid. There are far fewer clarinetists than violinists in different orchestras, and there may not necessarily be a shortage of people. In recent years, fewer children are willing to learn musical instruments, and being a teacher is not easy.
His intentions were good, but Qiu Xue's ideas were too unconventional. She produced performances that resembled acrobatics and strange sounds, which led some audiences with traditional and conservative views to criticize her, saying that she was acting recklessly and defiling classical music.
In reality, many people do this, but Qiu Xue is more concerned about the insults directed at her, and some people who dislike her directly attack her appearance, which immediately defeats her.
“The job market for classical musicians is very narrow. I was lucky enough to find a stable job at a record company,” Wang Zhou said.
“Back in freshman year, I thought you and the Command Department would have a bright future,” Qu Jiaying said.
"You're only talking about the most talented people, like Xiang Min, who plays in the same quartet with you."
"You're two grades apart, do you even know his skill level?" Qu Jiaying asked in surprise.
“There aren’t many people in the entire composition department. Before Cai Rui came to conduct, our assessment was also conducted at the same time, but it was performed by our department’s students themselves, instead of by the school symphony orchestra. So I heard his final piece, which was excellent. It played with the form, and the piece itself was also very beautiful,” Wang Zhou praised.
Qu Jiaying's anxiety surged up all at once. Whether it was Le Yi, Yan Zheng, or Xiang Min, even if they all had their own troubles, they were all very capable in their respective fields. But she herself had no extra troubles, yet she just couldn't reach the pinnacle of violin playing.
Qu Jiaying was frustrated because she hadn't quite captured the feeling of the performance, and the three people in the rehearsal room could tell.
"Relax for a bit," Le Yi quickly said. "No need to rush, there's still some time before the performance."
Yan Zheng comforted him, "Perhaps playing in an ensemble will help you get a feel for it. Give Xiang Min some time and let him solve his own problems first."
Xiang Min immediately suggested a solution: "I feel that the performance cannot be changed in the short term. Otherwise, I can turn the cello part into a virtuoso performance. I can practice the technique and it might be more effective."
"Then you can revise it first, and then we'll play together," Qu Jiaying said, chewing on the milk candy Le Yi had given her.
Xiang Min shook off his chaotic thoughts and immediately began revising the score, trying to make sure it wasn't too different from the other three instruments, otherwise the piece wouldn't be as harmonious and pleasant to listen to.
After spending several days revising the score and practicing the parts that required showing off his skills, Xiang Min finally reunited with Qu Jiaying and the others.
Xiang Minxian played the piece solo, which reduced the musicality, but the technical brilliance made up for it.
“Let’s play together,” Qu Jiaying said.
The four of them sat down, adjusted the music stands, and began playing from the beginning.
When the song ended, Qu Jiaying looked even worse.
"Or maybe we should forget it. I don't want to perform half-heartedly," Qu Jiaying said, looking down.
All three were stunned, never before seeing Qu Jiaying so negative.
The situation has reversed. Yan Zheng advised, "There are only a few days left. Don't go back on your word and ruin their wedding."
"Don't try to morally blackmail me. President Liu is rich; he can definitely find someone to replace us," Qu Jiaying said.
Le Yi offered a different perspective, saying, "Perhaps President Liu has already decided to give you the Stradivarius violin, but if you don't go, there's nothing you can do."
“Even if I were to go, I wouldn’t be able to borrow a zither,” Qu Jiaying retorted.
Le Yi and Yan Zheng looked at Xiang Min.
Their eyes seemed to say: Think of a way!
Xiang Min shook his head slightly; he had run out of ideas too.
Qu Jiaying felt a tightness in her chest and put down her violin: "I'm going out for some fresh air."
She pushed open the door and went out, rinsing her tired hands, which had been working out for too long, with the cold water from the sink.
Le Yi, Yan Zheng, and Xiang Min were restless in the rehearsal room.
Everyone wants to go out and see the world, but no one knows what to do.
Qu Jiaying didn't return for a while, and the three of them looked around aimlessly. Finally, Xiang Min stood up and said, "I'll go check on her."
As soon as Xiang Min turned the corner outside, he saw Qu Jiaying, who was still rinsing her hands with cold water.
Xiang Min turned on the tap, took her icy hands in his large palms, and rubbed them vigorously until they warmed up.
"Don't punish yourself," Xiang Min said earnestly.
Qu Jiaying remained silent.
“I’ve participated in many performances, and I’m not very familiar with some instruments. The audience sometimes scolds me, but I don’t care. Of course, I know that your standards for the violin are much higher than mine,” Xiang Min said softly.
"You don't care about the cello either?" Qu Jiaying asked.
"Well, I don't really care," Xiang Min said.
He held Qu Jiaying's hand, and the calluses on her hands were almost invisible, but that didn't mean they had disappeared. Instead, they had turned into thick skin on her fingertips. Her excessive practice would even cause the thick skin to break. Compared to his hands, the difference in the amount of practice was immediately apparent.
Xiang Min pondered for a moment and said, "My mother and you have very similar personalities."
Qu Jiaying looked up at him.
Xiang Min continued, "She is a cellist who is very strict with herself. Most of my few impressions of her are of her practicing the cello."
"Later, she fell ill, which affected her performance, but she still had scheduled performances, so she practiced even harder."
Qu Jiaying laughed self-deprecatingly, "I guess it's probably because it's not working as it is now?"
Xiang Min smiled wryly and tacitly agreed: "She dedicated her life to music."
“So, you have a mommy issue.” Qu Jiaying finally smiled.
"...You can say that if you want," Xiang Min said helplessly.
"Is that all you've projected?" Qu Jiaying asked sharply. She remembered how Xiang Min reacted strongly to Cai Rui's concern. Considering their ages and seniority, Cai Rui probably had some past with Xiang Min's mother.
"There's more, I'll tell you later." Xiang Min put his arm around her shoulder and walked towards the rehearsal room. "Now that you've recovered, go back. They were worried about you too."
Qu Jiaying had only recently heard about Xiang Xiaojuan from her father and teacher Xia Xiaolei, and also learned that she was Xiang Min's mother.
Perhaps it was from learning from Xiang Min that even a very talented cellist like Xiang Xiaojuan had her limitations that Qu Jiaying reluctantly forgave herself.
Qu Jiaying was unaware that what Xiang Min didn't mention was that after discovering her health was extremely poor and she could no longer continue her performing career, her mother chose to end her life before her illness even began.
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