Chapter 41, Song 41...
The story is not complicated.
Xiang Xiaojuan was never a woman who was intoxicated by love. The most important thing in her life was the cello, so she didn't have many complaints.
"If you really want to say, then it's mine." Xiang Min held Qu Jiaying's hand, as if to give him more courage to reveal himself.
Xiang Xiaojuan is most immersed in performing on stage, using music to move the audience, and using her piano playing to express her inner feelings.
"The most important thing in her life is her cello, the second is the suitors around her, and the third is me," Xiang Min said dejectedly.
“But you are the child she carried for ten months and gave birth to. You don’t have to be ranked third, do you?” Qu Jiaying thought he was underestimating her.
“I can understand why the cello is more important than me, but what about those men? What right do they have?!” Xiang Min’s emotions were on full display. He couldn’t understand why his mother had given birth to him when none of the men around her were his biological father.
He even called his uncle about this a few days ago.
Xiang Min's uncle didn't know who his biological father was, but he had a rough idea of the answer.
Xiang Xiaojuan is very strong-willed; she believes she can do anything.
"Back then, your grandparents were urging you to get married, saying things like get married and have children as soon as possible, and that you couldn't devote all your energy to the cello. But your mother seemed very angry at the time, and they had a big fight. In the end, she gave birth to you alone." Xiang Min's uncle explained briefly. His relationship with his sister was not very good to begin with, and he didn't know much about what had happened between them.
Xiang Min became even more dejected and continued, "My uncle may not want to understand, but I know very well."
Qu Jiaying sighed; she knew it too.
Xiang Xiaojuan's musical talent was discovered when she was young, and her parents did their best to help her. However, this came at a price. They would always tell Xiang Xiaojuan, "We work hard to earn money for you." With a younger brother, she knew even more clearly that if she didn't practice hard and win medals, she would lose everything.
She lived up to expectations and her efforts paid off; she went abroad and studied under a renowned teacher.
Although he achieved more than Xia Xiaolei, he was still limited by many conditions and failed to gain a foothold in the international classical music scene. In the end, he had no choice but to return to China.
After her job stabilized, her parents changed their attitude and began to demand that she live like an ordinary person and get married and have children when she reached a certain age.
Xiang Xiaojuan was probably going through a belated rebellious phase, deciding to have the child alone.
This behavior naturally angered her parents, and even now, there are always unpleasant rumors about unmarried mothers.
Xiang Min's maternal grandparents' health had been declining since then, and the loss of their son was a devastating blow; they both passed away not long after.
Xiang Min sighed countless times: "I can't be angry with them."
"So you're angry with Commander Cai Rui?" Qu Jiaying asked. "But why is it just him? There should be other men, right? You care about him so much, do you see him as a father figure?"
“My mom has so many men around her, I don’t need a dad!” Xiang Min said with a look of disdain. “It’s probably because they have a lot in common musically that my mom values him more. That’s why I resent him for not being there for my mom during that crucial time. She was very disappointed. Cai Rui said he was on tour in Europe, which was a very important period for his career development, and he couldn’t take the time to see her. It was only for one day, couldn’t he even do that?!”
Qu Jiaying now understands that this knot is difficult to untie.
From her perspective, Xiang Xiaojuan herself probably wouldn't care too much about this matter. Cai Rui was not as important as her cello, otherwise she wouldn't have chosen to end her life because she was too ill to continue playing. For her, not being able to see her one last time was just a pity. But in Xiang Min's eyes, who couldn't resent her mother and was powerless in the face of fate, she could only magnify Cai Rui's mistakes.
Cai Rui certainly made mistakes, but without Xiang Xiaojuan's involvement, he and Xiang Min didn't necessarily have to reconcile; they had no connection whatsoever.
Therefore, Cai Rui had little motivation to take the initiative to apologize to Xiang Min.
Conversely, Xiang Min is not obligated to forgive Cai Rui; what he needs to do is let go of the past.
Qu Jiaying tried to persuade him: "I don't think he did anything wrong, but you shouldn't punish yourself. Go to class normally, complete your coursework, and you can graduate smoothly next year, instead of avoiding Cai Rui and punishing yourself by missing classes."
Xiang Min wouldn't listen and angrily retorted, "You're taking his side?!"
He coughed weakly again, and Qu Jiaying quickly poured him water. She didn't know what else to say.
Xiang Min slowly sipped the warm water. He knew he shouldn't take his anger out on Qu Jiaying. Perhaps it was because she was sick and weak, but he couldn't help but act coquettishly towards her, hoping she could understand and be more considerate of him.
But Xiang Min gave a self-deprecating smile. Even after hearing so much and feeling unwell, Qu Jiaying still maintained her unique rationality.
Sometimes it really feels so far away.
Xiang Min also disliked this aspect of himself; he both loved her aloofness and was unwilling to accept it.
He couldn't even deny that Qu Jiaying's personality, which was so similar to Xiang Xiaojuan's, was what kept him fascinated.
Conversely, Qu Jiaying probably understands Xiang Xiaojuan better; what he can't see, she might be able to see through.
Xiang Min couldn't help but ask, "How much do you think she really loves me?"
Qu Jiaying carefully considered her words and comforted her, "You started practicing the cello when you were little because your mother was practicing too. But like me, you weren't forced to learn, nor were you scolded for not practicing well. So it seems that she didn't not love you. It's just that she had a different educational philosophy from her own parents, which is why she let you grow up more freely, isn't it?"
Qu Jiaying herself did not fully accept these words, but Xiang Min happily accepted them all.
That's just how people are; they interpret everything according to their own ideas, believing that's the most correct way to think.
The medicine took effect, and Xiang Min felt sleepy, but he stayed awake and refused to fall asleep.
"Rest if you're sleepy." Qu Jiaying saw that his eyes were almost closed, but he was still holding her hand tightly.
"Can you stay with me until I wake up?" Xiang Min whispered.
Qu Jiaying tucked him in: "I'll watch you fall asleep."
"I knew it..." Xiang Min muttered, still unable to resist the urge to sleep.
Qu Jiaying gently pulled her hand away from his.
After leaving Xiang Min's place, she contacted Cai Rui, but he also failed to persuade Teacher Xia Xiaolei, and neither side succeeded.
Cai Rui sighed, "I know I made mistakes when I was young."
But just as Qu Jiaying had predicted, Cai Rui had no relationship with Xiang Min and owed him nothing. Moreover, Cai Rui, mindful of his status, would not take the initiative to resolve Xiang Min's inner conflict.
A simple apology and a moment of concern for Xiang Min's studies would be enough for Cai Rui.
Qu Jiaying sighed. From this perspective, no matter how many problems there were between Yan Zheng and his father Yan Jing, they could be resolved.
Xiang Min couldn't take out his pain on those close to him, because he didn't have anyone truly close to him.
Maybe I should be nicer to him?
But……
Qu Jiaying gazed out the window at the boundless golden expanse of ginkgo leaves, her heart filled with mixed emotions.
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