Chapter 45

What does he want?

Hisako said that people work hard to live in this world in order to make themselves happy.

Tsushima Shuji thought, is he happy now that he has lived to this day?

He didn't quite understand what happiness was, because he had never felt it when he was at the Tsushima family - happy? Maybe he was happy, at least he didn't have to worry about food and clothing, he could sneak out to play occasionally, and his parents didn't care what he did. But this kind of life was soon broken, leaving only calculations and broken relationships that had never existed.

Unlike ordinary families who look forward to the birth of a new life, his birth was for the benefit and the selfish desires of adults. How can a child who grows up without expectations and blessings feel the so-called happiness?

Can he really be happy? Can he, like Hisako said, feel happy when the important people are happy?

Tsushima Shuji didn't know, he could only try blindly, clumsily groping in his own way.

If Mr. Amamiya could be healthy, no longer tortured by illness, and no longer be harmed by his supernatural powers, he would definitely be happy about it.

So what next?

He got the "book", made important people happy, achieved his goal, and realized the meaning of life. If this is the case, then why should he still live in this world?

Shuji Tsushima had no doubt that the scene that Ango Sakaguchi saw through the pages of the book was his future.

The other person was on this path of searching for meaning and came to the same conclusion as him, so at the end of this path, he reached the end in death.

What about him? Will he be the same as the other person? For him, is the meaning of life for his own happiness and the happiness of important people?

He was surrounded by great confusion. Tsushima Shuji couldn't figure it out and couldn't understand it. He felt that he seemed to have confused the meaning of existence. Did he exist for himself? Did he exist for others?

Tsushima Shuji didn't understand, he wanted to find this universal "book" and find the answers he wanted through it.

What is he living for?

The questioning voice in my ear gradually faded away, leaving only a few vague syllables, and finally disappeared in the sound of gurgling water.

Shuji Tsushima still had his eyes closed, and everything in front of him was pitch black, until he felt a familiar attraction, and he slowly stretched out his hand and reached forward.

The feeling of being attracted was even stronger than the previous time when he touched the pages of the book. Something was rushing through his body, and there was a sharp buzzing in his ears. Severe pain swept through his nerves, stimulating his brain and crushing all his thoughts.

Tsushima Shuji instinctively loosened the oxygen tube in his mouth and tried to breathe deeply, but what rushed into his esophagus and trachea was salty sea water, washing away his remaining consciousness.

This was the second time he faced death. The cold water once again took over all his senses. He felt himself sinking, as if an invisible hand was pulling him into the abyss.

This time, his hands were not bound. He could struggle and call for help, but he just let himself fall, into the vortex of death.

He was born into this world, and if he was trying to live for the inevitable end of death, why couldn't he end his confusion at the beginning?

It’s just that normal people probably can’t understand these confusions. He is even... different from Amamiya Keisei who is trying hard to live.

He is different from Mr.

Will anyone come to save him this time?

Shuji Tsushima opened his eyes, and suddenly a white light appeared in front of him. He didn't know if it was an illusion before death, but he seemed to see his grown-up self.

The other person's face was a little blurry, hidden behind layers of shadows. He was fiddling with a photo in his hand, but his appearance was also unclear.

But Shuji Tsushima knew that the person in the photo was extremely important to the other person.

Who could it be? Tsushima Shuji thought about it for a moment, and then put his doubts behind him, because the scene he saw changed, and he was standing on the rooftop after growing up, falling down under the dim light, just like he was now, falling towards the finish line.

Is that so? Is that the answer you found?

But this is your answer, not mine.

I am still... wandering here in a daze.

Tsushima Shuji tightened his hand, and his fingertips felt a cool touch. The white light in front of his eyes faded, and in his already blurry vision, he saw that his hand was holding a blank book. It was simple and clean, like the blank books that can be seen everywhere on the street, and it did not look like the prop that could make wishes come true in the legend.

He got the 'book', maybe he will get what he wants soon.

...Is that so?

The existence inside the body finally broke free from its shackles at a certain moment, and Tsushima Shuji unconsciously let go of his hand, looking at the "book" disappearing into the sea like an illusory shadow, his expression dazed.

Even his own supernatural powers were denying his existence, so who was he expecting to tell him the answer?

"Disqualified from the Human World"

——He has already lost the qualifications to be a human being in this world.

…

…

When Amamiya Ruishou arrived at the port, he saw Tsushima Shuji sitting alone on the shore, his whole body wet, even his hair was dripping with water.

The boy's face was pale, his eyes were a little dull, and his expression was empty. He was immersed in an unknown world. He looked fragile and empty, as if he was detached from the world. One could tell no matter how he looked at him that something was wrong.

"Shuji-kun...what's wrong?" Amamiya Ruisei didn't dare to step forward for a moment, so he could only look at Sakaguchi Ango who was not far away.

"I don't know." Sakaguchi Ango was silent for a moment. "He was like this from the moment he came up from the sea until he came ashore."

"No matter how we asked him, he wouldn't say anything, so we didn't know what happened to him in the sea."

"...But Shuji, this is not normal, right?"

Amamiya Raisei looked at Tsushima Shuji's profile, pursed his lips, walked closer to him, and called carefully, "Shuji-kun?"

Tsushima Shuji finally reacted, turned his head to look at Amamiya Keiichi, and said in a low and hoarse voice: "Sir, you are here."

"Shuji-kun," Amamiya Reiichi smiled and asked in a soft voice, "What are you doing? Did you encounter something in the sea?"

"I was just thinking about a problem. I thought about it for a long time, but I still couldn't figure it out."

Tsushima Shuji spoke with a calm expression.

Looking at the boy's expression, Amamiya Raisei felt uneasy. He managed to calm down and said, "What is it? Maybe I can answer you."

Tsushima Shuji looked at Amamiya Keiichi steadily, and as he opened his mouth, a notification sound indicating that the progress of the mission was rising rapidly rang in Amamiya Keiichi's ears.

[Progress: 39%]

[Progress: 40%]

…

[Progress: 49%]

[Progress: 50%]

"Sir, can you tell me what the meaning of life is in this world?" he said.

Will you tell me, will you save me?

Amamiya Reizo was stunned.

He hadn't given the problem much thought.

Living is a very tiring thing for him, so why should he live?

Maybe it's because he's unwilling to accept defeat, because he wants to fight against fate, because of desire, because he wants to live, so he tries hard to live.

Now Amamiya Keisei is just living for the sake of living, but this answer is obviously not what Tsushima Shuji wants.

He met Tsushima Shuji's eyes and watched the originally bright iris color gradually dim. Amamiya Reizo staggered forward a step and instinctively rushed towards the boy, holding him tightly in his arms.

The young man held his hands tightly, his arms trembling slightly, and he felt an uncontrollable panic.

Amamiya Raisei understood Tsushima Shuji's confusion during this period, but——

"Sir, you don't know the answer either?" the person in his arms spoke.

But he couldn't give the answer the other party wanted.

He can't give it.

[Host! Stay away from him first!! His supernatural power is going out of control!!]

The system's scream rang out in his mind, and Amamiya Ruisei suddenly came to his senses. He then realized that the balance that he had maintained in his body was rapidly collapsing. He began to feel dizzy, and in the blink of an eye the scene was stained with blood.

His mind told him that he should let go immediately, but he just instinctively hugged Tsushima Shuji tightly.

[Ahhh, never mind. If I don’t leave now, I’m going to die! Anyway, the progress has reached 50%. The host will go back to the main body first. I need to fix the vest! ! ]

Amamiya Tadashi's consciousness fell into darkness.