Chapter 66

"Luckily, it's only the third floor, and there's snow below. He broke his arm and three ribs, and had a mild concussion..." The doctor closed the medical record and said, "Although everyone knows his condition, this is the fourth time he's been to the hospital in three months. He should be more careful. Even if he doesn't die from such a torment, he will have a lot of sequelae."

Amamiya Leisei helped Tsushima Shuji cover the corner of the quilt and whispered, "Thank you, doctor. I will talk to him."

After the doctor left, the only people left in the ward were the boy sleeping on the bed and Amamiya Keisei sitting beside the bed.

He looked at Tsushima Shuji calmly with a look of sadness, helplessness and extreme frustration in his eyes.

It's not that Tsushima Shuji had not attempted suicide during these two months, but because he went to school obediently, there were many students and teachers in the school, and Oda Sakunosuke and Sakaguchi Ango were watching him, he was only successful twice, and neither attempt was too serious. After three days of observation in the hospital, he was released.

Amemiya Ruisei knew that he had no reason to say anything blaming him, so he could only stare at the boy until his injuries were healed, and then go back to school.

He knew that both he and Tsushima Shuji were avoiding matters related to this, and were only maintaining a delicate balance on the surface, spending their days in hesitation and complex emotions.

Amamiya Ruisei lowered his head, feeling extremely depressed.

"Shuji-kun..." The young man raised his hands to cover his face and murmured in a somewhat dejected voice, "What on earth are you thinking about? Tell me, tell me everything, tell me everything."

"I don't understand. I really don't understand. Did I do something wrong? What should I do?"

He promised Tsushima Shuji that he could accompany him, and also promised that he could save him and stop him, but when the time really came, he found that he was so powerless. No matter how powerful his supernatural powers were, he could cut off rivers and flowers, but he could not cut off Tsushima Shuji's thoughts. Even if he could, he would not do it.

He didn't understand. It was obvious that being alive was such a blessed and precious thing...

"Mr. Amemiya..." The person on the bed slowly opened his eyes and called softly.

"You are not wrong, and you don't need to think about what you should do."

Shuji Tsushima sat up from the bed and slowly leaned back on the pillow. There was a bandage around his head, and his broken arm was in a cast hanging around his neck. There were also layers of bandages under his hospital gown, and the air was filled with a strange smell of medicine.

He sat up very slowly, probably because he was enduring the pain in his body. Even his brows were tightly wrinkled. But he insisted on sitting up alone and refused the hand that Yu Gong Lei Sheng extended to him. After sitting down, his eyes fell on the young man in front of him.

"Shuji-kun, you're awake..." Amamiya Rei forced a smile, "How do you feel? Is it painful? Do you want some painkillers?"

Tsushima Shuji shook his head lightly.

"gentlemen."

"…Hmm? W-What is it?"

"I'm sorry to have caused you worry."

"Ah," Yu Gong Lei Sheng was stunned, "No, it's okay, aren't you okay? I'm glad you're okay. If there's anything, we can talk about it after you get better—"

Tsushima Shuji interrupted him and said, "Sir, I found the 'book' when I went to the sea in Yokohama."

Amemiya was stunned.

"And before I came into contact with the 'Book', my special ability also happened to awaken." He continued, "Just like Ango saw what seemed to be another me, I also saw myself."

"I saw him become extremely powerful, and finally found his own answer, but he jumped from a tall building and ended his life."

[Progress: 75%]

Eh…? Amamiya Ruisei’s eyes widened.

"I don't know why I see these. Maybe this is the result of my ability resonating with the 'book'. However, these are not very important to me."

"Because the answers he found did not belong to me. He ended his life because he had accomplished everything and could finally leave this world that had no place for him."

"I was thinking, what about me?" Tsushima Shuji said, "This world is so dirty and boring. If I stay here, can I really find what I want? How far can I go on this road? Will I die suddenly like him one day?"

"I know that you are different from me, but I am greedy. I want to wander between life and death to find my answer, and I also want someone to accompany me on this dangerous road. So I ask you to give me more, whether it is help or promise."

Tsushima Shuji's voice was so soft that it almost disappeared in the air: "As a result, no matter what I want, you will give it to me, so I become more greedy, and want you to understand me and know everything about me."

"But I forget that Mr. Mingming is so eager to live, which is completely contrary to my idea."

Amamiya Leisheng said in a daze: "No, Shuji..."

"You always say that I am accommodating you, but the fact is that you are the one who is constantly accommodating me. Even though death would make you so painful, you still tolerate my willfulness." Tsushima Shuji clenched his fists. He squeezed so hard that the muscles in his arms were tense. The sutured wound on his other arm was torn open again because of his strength, and the bandage was quickly stained red with blood.

He knew, he knew very well that it would be so sad for Mr. Amemiya to accommodate him, but he was a coward and he didn't dare to say no. He avoided things that would cause pain to both of them and hurt the people who cared about him during the time since Amemiya Leisei woke up.

Tsushima Shuji reached out his hand, placed it on the back of Amamiya Reisei's trembling hand, and said, "Just forget about all those promises and thoughts. You don't have to worry about me, don't care about me, and don't need to understand me anymore. You just need to do what you want to do, work hard, and live well. That's enough."

"I am enough to fight in this world. I don't want to implicate or hurt you."

"I'm very sorry, Amamiya...sensei, Mr. Amamiya."

[Progress: 80%]

It was the truth, what Tsushima Shuji had been hiding from Amamiya Keisei for more than two months.

The young man lowered his head. He didn't want to look at Tsushima Shuji. His eyes were fixed on his clenched fist on his thigh. The boy's pale fingers were placed on the back of his hand, without much blood, just like his own.

He suddenly felt dizzy, his breathing became difficult and rapid, his stomach churned, and fishy-sweet blood overflowed from his throat, flowed out from the corners of his slightly open mouth, and fell onto their folded hands.

That bit of red falling on the pale skin reminds people of the blood that dyed the white snow red not long ago.

Amamiya Keisei slowly raised his head and met Tsushima Shuji's eyes.

The boy's eyes seemed to become even gloomier, and there was a dark cloud lingering around them.

"Shuji-kun, you..."

"You are……"

Amamiya Leisheng asked, "Are you rejecting me?"

After a long while, Tsushima Shuji spoke affirmatively.

"Yes, sir."