Chapter 96 Pity the social beast
[Ding Ding Ding - Stage 3: Defending the Ring (Failed)
Mission Penalty: None]
[Ding Ding Ding - Stage 4: Demonic Energy (Completed)
Mission Reward: Demon Transformation Pill (limited to this world)]
All sorts of voices rang in my head at once, but I just stood there, not knowing what to do.
It was as if everything had stopped, and the noise, the clamor, and the people surrounding me were all blurry.
So this is how it feels.
So this is how the brothers I gave up on in the past felt.
Why is it so painful?
Even though I've been pierced by a sharp weapon, had my bones and blood corroded, and been torn to pieces, it's not as painful as this—
Do I love this brother like this?
...Or am I thinking of the brothers I pushed away in the past?
Not just Liu Hong, there are others—
So that's how it is.
I roughly know what this feeling is, it is despair.
Their despair must be even deeper than mine.
This is what the endless self-blame they endure is like.
Liu Hong is still alive, after all—he just might not be the same person he once was.
But as long as he's still alive, even if his personality changes drastically or he no longer recognizes me...it doesn't matter.
For the first time I realized that I would be
I feel so happy.
I was like a thief who stole other people's precious things. I tasted their despair and self-blame in the dark corner, and then arrogantly felt lucky that I had not ended up like them.
How despicable—
How despicable.
"Close your eyes"
A hand that was a little frosted and cold covered my eyes, and the other hand supported my back. The cool spiritual energy flowed along my spine into my dantian.
This voice sounds familiar.
His voice seemed to have some magic in it, and a feeling of weariness swept over my mind.
I closed my eyes.
…
[I'm back, I'm back, host, are you okay? -]
[Wow, wow, wow, why are you so upset?! I was only away for a moment, and you're already all red—]
[Party A said there was a compatibility issue, which caused a short-term rejection, so we were blocked.]
[How come you've let yourself go in just a short while?! ! !]
[What would I do without you——]
[…Okay, system, Xiaoyu isn't dead yet.]
[But the host has a mental breakdown ahhhh——]
My mind is filled with the system's crying voice with a slightly mechanical sound.
A bit noisy.
[……!?]
Okay, I didn't say you were noisy.
I woke up slowly.
I am definitely not in my own little room. After all, I don’t need to sleep since I started cultivating immortality, so there is no bed in my room.
But I was obviously lying on the bed now, although the bed didn't look very soft and was a bit... sloppy.
Various fabrics, silks, and cushions were piled together, along with some animal skins...
It looks like a nest was built very suddenly.
"You're awake." Ling Ye walked in from outside. He was wearing a linen shirt and holding a furry and fresh-looking fur coat in his hand.
...so fresh it still has blood in it.
I kind of know what these animal skins are about.
My dear Master had no bedding, so he went hunting.
Then I watched him make a hand gesture, and the fur on his hands froze instantly, and then ice cubes and blood scattered all over the ground.
The hide became clean—and emitted a white, cold air.
He laid it out next to me very skillfully.
"...You were in a coma for three days." He said, "I was worried that you wouldn't sleep comfortably, so I put something under your bed."
...This is not just some padding!
The only place on the bed where I lay was barely shaped like a human being!!
I looked at the overcrowded bed and saw part of its true appearance from underneath.
...It looks a bit like that cultivation weapon, the Millennium Mysterious Ice.
Master is so sincere. He made me cry so hard that he piled up thousand-year-old black ice into a nest just to let me sleep more comfortably.
Thanks, calmed down.
The Xuanbing bed is really useful. I feel so calm now.
[…Host, are you okay? ]
"How are you?"
The system and Ling Ye asked me at the same time.
Although I couldn't see the system's expression, I could probably guess it by looking at Ling Ye's expression—the same cautiousness.
If it were me three days ago, I would probably be in a lot of pain.
But three days later, I don’t know if I accepted it or my brain blocked this part of the pain, but I felt a little detached.
...The psychological pain and self-blame are indeed more unbearable than the physical pain.
But what happened happened.
[…No, no, no, you’re not alright at all—]
[Xiaoyu, you're totally suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder—]
…
I decided to ignore the screaming duet in my head.
There are still some quarrels in this family, and they still have to rely on me, the reliable person.
"...Not bad." Ling Ye replied.
My voice was surprisingly hoarse.
...Theoretically speaking, if one cultivates to my level, the body will generally not get sick.
Ling Ye put his hand on my head and rubbed it, "What happened to Ah Hong is not your fault."
"From the very beginning, the relationship between Ah Hong and me as a master and disciple was very shallow."
He sat down next to me and said, "...Maybe it would be better if Hong went to the demon cultivators' place."
I looked at him, a little confused.
"Aluan, we are cultivators who can see the Way of Heaven. At my level, right and wrong no longer exist." He held out his hand, and an ice crystal appeared in it. "Unlike my fellow apprentices, I see no difference between demonic cultivators, demonic beasts, and righteous cultivators. We are all ants beneath the Way of Heaven."
The ice crystal split into three pieces of different colors, with spiritual power, demonic energy, and demonic energy lingering around them, and then exploded in an instant.
"Everyone cultivates to achieve the Great Dao and ascend to heaven, but in recent years, the number of cultivators who ascend has become fewer and fewer."
"Because the balance has been broken, you should understand, right?"
I knew what he meant, so my expression was calm.
"You really do understand."
He raised his eyebrows and raised the corners of his mouth when he saw my expression.
"So...why are you in so much pain?"
I looked at him, not knowing whether I should ask, but he must have lived a long time and seen many people and many things... So if I ask him, can I get an answer?
"I've made many choices that caused pain to others for what I thought was 'right'."
I thought about the previous worlds. From my perspective, they were definitely the "optimal solutions", but from the perspective of the people I arranged, they were like a nightmare.
——Brothers get injured and die for you, and then ask for nothing in return.
You will spend the rest of your life in regret.
I'm really not a human being.
You are not a human being.
【You really are not...that's not right.】
"So do you think your choice this time will cause Ah Hong pain?"
Ling Ye instantly understood what I meant. He asked me, and I remained silent.
Will he... be in pain?
I have no idea.
"Or do you think that if you go to the demon cultivator's place, he won't suffer?"
I don't know either.
Because I am not him, even though we are close brothers, we are two independent individuals, and I am different from my brothers in every world.
They have very different personalities and each of them has different ideas.
I can't assume what they will decide.
"you do not know."
He said softly.
"Because this time it's not you who makes the choice, you feel like you made the choice."
"But actually, the one who made the choice was Hong."
"He chose this future for you."
Ling Ye’s words exploded in my ears.
[…So what I wanted to tell you before I was blocked is, don't trust Party A too much. The world's development is inevitable, and your personal choices won't have much impact.]
[These world consciousnesses that have existed for who knows how long are all a bunch of old hands! ]
...No, no, no, don't suddenly share this kind of corporate experience.
All the feelings that were brewing before are gone!!!
I couldn't hold it in a bit, after all, there was a person in front of me trying to persuade me, and there was also a system in my head trying to persuade me.
Regardless of right or wrong...things have already happened, I have to go and ask Liu Hong in person.
And I haven't forgotten what Zhong Xiu said before he blew himself up and took Liu Hong away with him, about the "destined Demon Lord"... I can't think about whether Liu Hong will have a good life or not among the demon cultivators. I can only bear all possibilities and reach the future where we can meet again.
I will accept whatever the outcome is.
Woohoo, this is too hard. Am I not a comedian?!
[Wow, this is too hard. Am I not a complaining system?! How am I supposed to write this week's report?—]
[…My condolences?]
Perhaps I was silent for too long, so Ling Ye sat down next to me. "I've lived too long, so I may not fully understand your feelings. You're only a teenager, you have plenty of time to think about everything."
“Everyone in this world makes mistakes, but what is right and wrong is different in everyone’s eyes.”
Ling Ye had probably never done anything like comforting anyone before, so his words were a little stiff.
"You can do a lot of wrong things before I ascend or die."
"If you have to consider everything, then I don't need to be your master."
[Wow, this is so touching. Is this the kind of master-disciple relationship that moves heaven and earth?!]
…
No, my Master, what moved you?
"Two days ago, I told my junior brother that you were going to start your retreat, and your exit date is uncertain."
"You can choose to stay on the mountain, or go down the mountain to travel, or even... you can go to the magic realm to explore." He said to me.
"I will only go with you to the Demonic Realm. Your cultivation level is still a little low."
Isn't Ling Ye super good at this?!
He almost said directly, "If you want to find your brother, go ahead, Master will cover you." This kind of words!
"I……"
I opened my mouth to say something, but my mind was in a mess.
He shook his head at me. "Don't tell me your decision so quickly."
"I told you, you have plenty of time, you can take your time to think about it."
Then he stood up and walked outside.
"If you want to practice, you can do so here. The Millennium Mysterious Ice is compatible with your water attribute. Once you've made up your mind, just let me know."
…
After my talk with Ling Ye that day, I sat on this black ice bed that looked like a doghouse for three days.
How can this not be considered the lowest point in my life!
[It feels like the host has suddenly entered puberty...]
[This is also my brother's growth...]
Please don't speak to me in such a comforting tone?
[After all, your stats going all red earlier really scared me - if I wasn't careful, you might lose consciousness!]
Is it that serious?!
[You don't have your own body now! Your consciousness is your only existence. A mental breakdown will lead to a breakdown of consciousness.]
[Think of it like the computer started a self-destruct program. Do you understand how dangerous it was before?!]
Thanks, I almost died.
So, have you decided where you want to go?
...I haven't thought about it yet.
[The time in the world of immortal cultivation is very long. You can actually take a break. Your previous pace was a bit too fast.]
[Except for the ABO world, in every world you live in... everyone has died young!]
If our company hadn't recently had an inspection from higher-ups, your actions would have been considered a violation of our labor regulations!
ah……
I tried to explain, but no words came out.
This is not something, it's forced by the situation.
[No, no, no, you are just a social animal with a broken heart——]
"Our company didn't pressure you into being 007, did it? I don't want to be 007 either—"
I'm not talking anymore.
So doesn't this mean I have to work hard to support myself in old age in this world?!
[I understand, Xiaoyu, has no one ever taught you how to rest?]
…
Don't make me sound so pathetic! Even when I was a boss, I still knew how to rest!
[But you didn't retire until the end, you were still working hard before you died! ]
[Host, admit it, you are just a miserable office worker who doesn't know what entertainment is——]
Ahhhhh—stop talking.
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