Chapter 48 Are you still angry?
The once bright sunshine was suddenly obscured by dark clouds, and the light dimmed. Huiyin stared at the two figures, her fingernails clenching tightly into her palms.
She couldn't quite explain her thoughts. Despite having made ample preparations, seeing this scene still burned her heart and lungs, leaving her restless and uneasy.
She saw several ladies smiling and exchanging a few words with Pei Yu, and saw Li Yingyue standing shyly beside Pei Yu, her beautiful eyes never leaving him, exuding a delicate and timid aura.
Pei Yu had his back to her, so Huiyin couldn't see his expression. He never liked these kinds of occasions, let alone standing there and letting a group of ladies tease him. Today was an exception.
Huiyin grew tired of standing for so long and wanted to turn around and leave, but the maid sent by Madam Pei wouldn't let her. She could only sit on the ground, raising her hand to shield her eyes from the sun, and aimlessly watch them.
Before long, she saw Pei Yu and Li Yingyue leave the waterside pavilion alone, chatting as they walked. The three ladies in the pavilion watched them, laughing and talking. She didn't need to guess what they were saying; it was nothing more than a match made in heaven, a perfect couple.
Although it's hard to admit, it's true. Huiyin was jealous of Li Yingyue, jealous that she could stand shoulder to shoulder with Pei Yu and take her place. No, in fact, there was never a place for her from the very beginning.
She lowered her head and exhaled. How could she describe the feeling? It was like having something you really, really like taken away by someone else, and then having to smile and tell them, "It's okay, it was always yours."
It was truly unsettling. She stood up, dusted herself off, and ignored the maid's attempts to stop her, turning back. Pei Yu had brought her much pleasure, even if only for a moment, but that was enough.
Huiyin shook off the jumbled thoughts in her head and walked briskly back to Yingfeng Pavilion. She had limited documents at hand, and many ancient characters were impossible to study and translate. She could not waste any more time on unimportant matters.
Calculating the time, the Mid-Autumn Festival is in two months. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, His Majesty will definitely hold a palace banquet. Her status is not high enough, so she can ask Pei Yu to let her enter the palace. At that time, she can take the opportunity to get his waist token to go to Tianlu Book Pavilion, find what she wants, and then all of this will be over.
These unbearable pains, bitterness, and resentment that one just wants to escape will all be gone.
When Huiyin returned to Yingfeng Pavilion, she ran into He Jiaying, who was returning from her trip. Standing in front of her was a refined young man, not very tall, with an ordinary appearance, but with two dimples when he smiled.
It must be Guo Lian, the youngest son of the Grand Historian. He was carrying a bulging cloth bag in his arms, and the dirty water from the bag had soiled his clothes, but he didn't care at all, and listened to He Jiaying's rambling with a smile.
Huiyin watched from behind the tree for a while. The two finally finished their conversation and said goodbye reluctantly. Guo Lian handed the cloth bag in his arms to He Jiaying. A corner of the cloth bag was visible, inside which were green lotus pods.
It seems the two have a good relationship; they'll probably get engaged once they return to Chang'an.
Huiyin slowed her pace and walked over. Guo Lian had already gone far away, and He Jiaying was still standing at the door, saying goodbye with her eyes. Huiyin quietly walked over and patted her on the shoulder, "Stop looking, everyone's gone. Do you want to stand here like a waiting-for-husband stone?"
He Jiaying was startled and turned around tremblingly. When she saw Huiyin, she breathed a sigh of relief. "You scared me to death! When did you get here?"
Huiyin: "From the moment you started to hold his hand so awkwardly."
He Jiaying blushed and stomped her feet as she ran into the house, yelling as she ran, "Why are you eavesdropping on other people's conversations!"
Instead of returning to her own courtyard, she ran to Huiyin's west courtyard and handed the cloth bag in her hand to Aheng. Huiyin followed her into the house, asking, "Guo Lian picked these for you, why are you giving them to me?"
He Jiaying sat under the eaves, took the cool tea that Yan Niang handed her, drank a few sips, and said, "I can't eat that much. I remember you like to drink tea made with lotus seeds, so I specially asked Guo Lian to pick them for you."
Huiyin felt as if she had been punched in the heart. She froze in her action of taking off her shoes, and a wave of sourness spread from her chest. She never expected that, in the end, the Pei family would care about her the most, and that it would be He Jiaying.
She quickly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes and asked, forcing herself to remain calm, "How are things between you and Guo Lian?"
He Jiaying chuckled, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes. "He's very nice. He doesn't mind my bad reputation or my bad manners. He said that after we get married, he will take me to Tianji Mountain."
Huiyin sat down next to her. "Where is Tianji Mountain?"
"To the west, there's a bridge called the Magpie Bridge on the mountain, the same one from the legend of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl. If a man and a woman walk across it hand in hand, they will meet again in their next life and become husband and wife," He Jiaying whispered mysteriously into Huiyin's ear.
Huiyin hugged her knees and leaned against the wall, looking at He Jiaying's sweet smile with a hint of envy.
She murmured, "That's wonderful."
"By the way," He Jiaying turned her head and asked, "Didn't you go out with your aunt today? Why did you come back alone?"
Huiyin didn't want to talk about this topic. She rubbed her stiff face, got up from the ground and walked into the inner room, her voice tired, "I'm a little tired, I'll rest for a while."
He Jiaying called out from behind, "Then I won't bother you anymore, you should rest well."
Huiyin nodded weakly. She had been sweating profusely on her way back, and her body felt sticky. After taking a bath, she put on a pale yellow dress and sat down at the desk to start researching ancient texts.
Feng Cheng gave her a total of seven scrolls of silk, two of which mentioned her father's name. Those two scrolls were particularly complex, containing many characters she couldn't find in ancient texts. At the current pace, she wouldn't know what was written on them, let alone in two months, or even two years.
Huiyin slumped onto the table, burying her head in her arms. She didn't want to stay in the Pei residence any longer and wished she could leave right now so she would never see Pei Yu's face again. Here, she couldn't stop thinking about Pei Yu and those messy things, which kept her from finding peace.
The cicadas outside were chirping incessantly, which was extremely annoying. Huiyin kicked the table aside, and the stack of bamboo slips on it crashed to the floor with a clatter. This startled Asang, Aheng, and the others who were gossiping outside, and they quickly stepped forward to ask, "Wife, what's wrong?"
Huiyin stood in the shadows, expressionless, shooing them away. She didn't like to lose her temper, but that didn't mean she didn't have one.
This was the first time Ah Heng and Ah Sang had seen her like this. The lady rarely showed any emotion; she was never angry, and she didn't even flinch when she smiled.
She was not fond of talking and often sat alone reading and practicing calligraphy, sometimes spending half a day by herself. She also disliked scolding or beating the servants; sometimes, when the young general scolded them, she would step in to smooth things over.
Aheng asked Yanniang hesitantly, "My lady is in a bad mood, what should we do?"
Yan Niang, who was sitting outside peeling lotus pods, shook her head upon seeing this and told them to go down and rest. Holding in one's anger for too long will only make one miserable.
After a while, Yan Niang heard a sound coming from the inner room. She turned her head and saw Huiyin squatting on the floor, tidying up the bamboo slips that were all rolled up in a mess.
She pushed the door open and went in. Huiyin looked up when she heard the sound and smiled as if nothing had happened, "Mother Fu, why did you come in?"
Yan Niang placed the peeled lotus seeds on the table. The tender white lotus seeds were arranged in a jade plate, fragrant and delicious. She squatted down to help Huiyin tidy up, "Your eighteenth birthday is coming soon. Have you thought about how you want to celebrate?"
Huiyin was taken aback. She had almost forgotten that her birthday was five days later. In previous years, when her father and mother were still alive, they would prepare a birthday gift for her a month in advance, so she didn't need to remember the date. On her birthday, her mother would personally cook a bowl of longevity noodles for her.
If the Song family hadn't met with misfortune, according to her agreement with her father, he would have taken a month's leave this year to take the family on a trip to Jingzhou in the south.
Huiyin lowered her eyes. "Let's just let it pass by."
Yan Niang disagreed, saying, "This is your eighteenth birthday, we can't just do it casually. In a couple of days, I'll ask someone to get you some fresh bream and make you fish balls, okay?"
Huiyin looked at the bandaged wound on Yanniang's forehead, her throat tightened, and not wanting her to go through any more trouble, she pretended to be indifferent and said, "I'll just have a bowl of longevity noodles."
Yan Niang frowned, kept her head down and didn't say anything. She pushed the jade plate on the table over, snatched the bamboo slip from Huiyin's hand, and quickly arranged it.
Huiyin bit into a lotus seed; its sweetness and deliciousness lifted her spirits considerably.
She sat there for a moment, lost in thought. The ancient books were precious; her father had specially collected several volumes for her since she had loved him since childhood, and they were all incomplete records.
In today's world, most of the world's precious ancient book collections are held by a few major clans.
Among them, the Wang family of Langya had the most, and it is said that the miniature pavilion in the main residence of the Wang family contained tens of thousands of volumes of books.
Right now, she can only turn to one person for help. The large family has many members, and they are all arranged to live in the North Palace. This place is not as spacious as the Yingfeng Pavilion, and there are many people walking around in the palace.
Huiyin waited for half an hour but Wang Huan didn't show up. The sun was so hot that her face hurt.
She walked to the servants of the royal family outside the west hall of the North Palace and asked them in a gentle voice to inform Wang Huan.
The attendant sized up the beautiful young woman before him, his face showing hesitation.
In the past, many young women came to see the eldest son, but he was always indifferent to women and always refused to see them. Later, he simply stopped sending messengers.
But the woman before him was much prettier than any of the others, and her attitude was sincere, causing the servant to waver.
"Song Huiyin, it really is you! What are you doing here?"
The servant turned around and took two steps back. It was Wang Heng, the most troublesome woman in the mansion.
Wang Heng wore a gold-embroidered blouse, the gold threads shimmering in the light. She was not tall, with slender eyebrows and eyes, and a slightly pointed chin. When she smiled, she looked like a haughty little fox.
Wang Heng walked up to Huiyin with an arrogant air. "Song Huiyin, what are you doing here?"
Huiyin glanced at her, then looked away. She had always been at odds with Wang Heng and knew that she was mean-spirited, so she didn't want to pay any attention to her.
Wang Heng stepped forward with small, quick steps, and said with a charming smile, "It's not that the Pei family doesn't want you anymore, so you've come to find my eldest cousin again, is it?"
Her voice was slightly loud, attracting the attention of those around her.
Huiyin didn't want to attract attention and planned to come back tomorrow. Just as she was about to leave, Wang Heng stopped her with her hand.
Wang Heng walked up to Huiyin and smiled maliciously: "Forget about it. Our Wang family would never want a piece of trash like you."
She raised the last three syllables meaningfully, the last syllable ending with a sharp lisp.
Huiyin stared at the smug Wang Heng, her face expressionless, even a smile playing on her lips. She had been holding back a grudge for days, and since Wang Heng had insisted on coming at her, she would settle both old and new scores.
Huiyin lifted her eyelids, her words laced with barbs, "Of course I can't compare to you, Wang, you're lucky to have married such a good husband."
She imitated Wang Heng in a similar manner, elongating the last three syllables and making them rise and fall in intonation.
Wang Heng's face suddenly contorted with rage. What she hated most was people mentioning her good-for-nothing husband! Wang Heng had been born into a noble family and had everything go smoothly since childhood, except for her marriage, which was a major setback. She married a poor man who was not ambitious.
She said fiercely, "You're not afraid of death, coming to my Wang family's territory to provoke us, aren't you afraid..."
Huiyin glanced at her sideways and said sarcastically, "What are you afraid of? You're just a married-out illegitimate daughter. Your husband isn't prominent, and you have no ability yourself. You're just a marginal person in the Wang family. You can only come to me to show off your power."
Wang Heng trembled with rage, pointing at Huiyin and shaking her hand, she said, "If I had known you would be so arrogant, I should have had you beaten to death when you came to me for help that day!"
Huiyin's eyes grew even colder. "The Wang woman is indeed powerful. She casually utters words like 'kill someone,' and treats the law as if it were infallible."
Her mention of it reminded Huiyin of the humiliation she suffered at the Wang family's house that day. When her mother was seriously ill, she had also gone to the Wang family for help, but before she could even enter the door, Wang Heng stopped her at the door and ordered several male servants to come forward and chase her away, each word humiliating and each sentence piercing her heart.
“…You.” Wang Heng was furious and, ignoring the maids behind her trying to stop her, was about to attack.
"stop!"
Wang Heng turned around and saw Wang Huan standing in the palace, followed by three servants who were staring at her with cold eyes.
"Elder brother, let me explain!" Wang Heng panicked. Huiyin's words pierced her heart because they were all true. She had no real status in the Wang family; she only appeared glamorous on the outside.
Wang Huan is the future head of the Wang family. If she offends him, her future will be difficult.
Wang Huan said expressionlessly, "I don't want to hear it. If you want to stay in the Wang family, leave now."
Wang Heng's face was grim. She understood Wang Huan's temperament. He only appeared gentle and refined, but in reality, he was a man of his word and would not tolerate disobedience.
She gritted her teeth, glared at Huiyin, and stormed off, shoving her way through the crowd.
After she left, Wang Huan came out with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, Huiyin, I didn't keep her in check."
"What does Wang Heng's mistake have to do with you?" Huiyin didn't mention the incident of being turned away when she came to ask for help in the spring. The matter was in the past, and bringing it up now would be pointless; it would only make Wang Huan feel more apologetic towards her.
Wang Huan never wronged her.
"You must have something important to discuss with me." Wang Huan led Huiyin into the hall, where the onlookers had already been driven away.
Huiyin nodded silently. She knew she was being despicable for taking advantage of Wang Huan's feelings for her, but she had no other choice.
She pursed her lips, her hands unconsciously clenching. "I want you to help me find some ancient books in the Zhou script. The Wang family collection should have some."
Wang Huan didn't ask anything, but said gently but firmly, "I understand. I'll have someone go back and get it right away."
Huiyin lowered her head and said softly, "Thank you."
Wang Huan chuckled, his smile as clear as autumn water, bright and clean, without a trace of impurity, making people feel at ease. "I'm glad you came to see me."
Huiyin felt extremely distressed. Looking at the smiling face that had returned, her throat tightened, and she couldn't say a word.
——
The saying that when you're down on your luck, even drinking cold water can cause problems is certainly true.
Having just resolved a major issue, Huiyin shook off the somber mood and walked back with light steps, bumping right into Madam Pei and Pei Yu, who were returning from the Feiliu Water Pavilion.
Her lips slowly regained their composure, and her steps became heavy. She had sneaked away without saying goodbye to Madam Pei, who would surely scold her.
As expected, Madam Pei stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw her, waiting at the door with anger hidden in her eyes. "What's wrong with you? I told you to wait a moment and you left on your own without even saying goodbye."
Huiyin lowered her eyes, placed her hands obediently in front of her abdomen, and whispered, "I am not feeling well, so I will leave first."
Madam Pei frowned, about to launch into a long lecture, but before she could finish speaking, Pei Yu interrupted her, looking at Huiyin with a furrowed brow and asking, "Have you seen the physician? Where does it hurt?"
Huiyin didn't flinch and replied dismissively, "It's nothing serious."
Madam Pei felt that her son had lost his mind. How could he go out for a stroll when he was not feeling well? She had clearly seen Song Huiyin return with a smile on her face and light steps. She did not look unwell at all. She was obviously jealous and was throwing a tantrum because she saw that Pei Yu was going to get married.
She absolutely could not tolerate this happening. Thinking of this, she frowned and said, "Come with me."
"Mother, didn't you just say you were tired? Go and rest."
Pei Yu grabbed Huiyin's arm, shielding her behind him, and took advantage of Madam Pei's inattention to grab Huiyin's small hand and knead it in his own.
Huiyin tried to pull her hand away, but he held it tightly, like a leech she couldn't shake off.
Pei Yu's knuckles dug into her soft palm and pinched it slightly, warning her not to move again.
Madam Pei frowned and said unhappily, "Get out of my way! I'm going to teach her a lesson today."
Pei Yu stood motionless, letting Madam Pei push and scold him. His expression was calm, his face smiling and seemingly gentle, but he did not move an inch, leaving no room for doubt.
Madam Pei stared at her son for a while, her chest heaving with anger. After a moment of sullen silence, she glanced at Huiyin hiding behind him, no longer mentioning that she was going to scold her, but deliberately instructed, "Let this matter drop, but don't forget what you promised me. In five days, you must come with my Li family."
After she finished speaking, she gave Huiyin a cold look, then turned and left.
Huiyin's long eyelashes trembled slightly. Five days later, at the Li family. So, his marriage to Li Yingyue has already been arranged? It's quite a coincidence, exactly five days later.
Pei Yu released his grip, turned around, crossed his arms, looked at Huiyin, lowered his head and brought his face close to hers, his long eyelashes almost touching Huiyin's eyes.
"Didn't you say you weren't feeling well? You lied to me again?"
Huiyin walked past him expressionlessly into the courtyard, replying calmly, "I was lying to your mother."
Pei Yu sighed, strode up to Huiyin, walked backwards, and stared at her, saying, "Are you still angry?"
Huiyin stopped, finally glanced at him, and shook her head, saying, "I'm not angry anymore."
Pei Yu smiled, a hint of mockery in his eyes, "You're lying again. You don't seem like you're not angry."
Huiyin smiled, pulled Pei Yu closer, gently kissed his cheek, then pushed him away with a smile, whispering, "I'm really not angry anymore."
After she finished speaking, she ignored Pei Yu and walked towards the west courtyard.
Pei Yu stopped looking at Huiyin's back and frowned slightly. His intuition told him that something was wrong with Huiyin, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
He followed and firmly grasped Huiyin's hand, preventing her from pulling away. He looked down at her expression and said, "I went to Feiliu Water Pavilion to find you today to apologize. I was wrong yesterday."
He looked at Huiyin's unresponsive face, pursed his lips, and continued, "I will no longer stop you from seeing Feng Cheng."
Huiyin nodded without saying a word.
Pei Yu tightened his grip on her hand. He would rather Huiyin be angry with him, like yesterday, than have her treat him as if he were nothing, even more unfamiliar with him than when she first entered the manor.
Huiyin frowned. "You're pinching me too hard."
Pei Yu suddenly let go of her hand and silently followed behind Huiyin.
The two entered the west courtyard one after the other. The maids in the courtyard all stopped what they were doing and dared not make a sound, for fear that they would start arguing again.
Huiyin walked straight into the inner room without stopping, sat down at the table, and opened the bamboo slips. The bamboo slips were old, and the writing was faded and incomplete. She had to make a new copy.
The only sounds in the room were the rustling of bamboo slips and the scratching of the brush. Pei Yu sat down opposite Huiyin, his arms crossed in front of him, his back taut.
After a moment of silence, he asked, "What are you writing?"
Huiyin replied indifferently, "Copying books."
"Is it a lot? Do you want me to help you?" Seeing that she was still willing to talk to him, Pei Yu immediately replied.
Huiyin refused without the slightest hesitation, "No need."
Pei Yu opened his mouth as if to say something, but Huiyin interrupted him first, the bamboo slips clattering on the table, "Please don't disturb me."
Pei Yu: "...Okay."
Yan Niang leaned against the corner of the wall and listened carefully for a while. When she heard no commotion inside, she felt relieved and waved for the others to continue cleaning the yard.
Her hands continued sewing, but her ears were constantly perked up, listening to what was happening inside. After listening for a while, Yan Niang felt something was wrong; the room was unusually quiet, no one was speaking, and no one was getting up.
She thought for a moment, then asked Aheng to bring out the newly brewed berry drink, and also prepared some dried fruit and pastries, which she packed in a box and sent inside. As soon as she entered, she saw Huiyin sitting at the desk, looking serious, her back straight, her hands constantly writing.
Pei Yu sat opposite her, his collar slightly disheveled. He leaned forward and backward, facing Huiyin, staring at her intently. He was fiddling with a jade pendant in his hand and rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand, looking anxious and restless. He didn't even notice her entering the room.
Yan Niang walked to the table, took out the berry drink and pastries from the lacquer tray, placed them on the table, and said softly, "Have some pastries."
Huiyin nodded slightly, but her hands did not stop. The bamboo slips on the table were already half-filled with writing, the handwriting was neat and beautiful, and there was still a section that needed to be completed.
Yan Niang sighed deeply in her heart, glanced at Huiyin who was copying the book with her head down, and then at Pei Yu who was anxious and restless. She felt that the atmosphere was too oppressive and silent, and she couldn't stay there any longer.
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