Chapter 80 New Year's Eve "Xiao Yu, I really hate you so much..."
Yan Shu naturally had no idea about Xiao Yu's blood poisoning, but she just felt that Xiao Yu seemed to be more gentle and clingy these days.
On weekdays, he was still completely obedient to her, but at night he was extremely greedy, even more demanding than before.
Although still gentle, Yan Shu always felt something was weird.
It seemed that within this gentleness, there was a strangeness that she couldn't quite put into words.
Often at night, the two of them would be even more intimate than before. Xiao Yu would stroke her cheeks with his fingertips over and over again, whispering "Shu Shu" in her ear.
The strength he held her in was so tight that he seemed to rub her into his bones and blood, and under the candlelight, his dark eyes would occasionally flash with a hint of obscurity that she could not understand.
Yan Shu was not unaware of it, but every time she wanted to ask more questions, Xiao Yu would either lower his head and kiss her to stop her from talking, or pinch her cheek with a smile.
"I just feel like I can't get enough of Shushu."
Seeing that Xiao Yu was still calm when handling government affairs during the day, and there was nothing unusual when discussing matters with ministers, Yan Shu thought that he had simply become more clingy after the two of them had completely opened their hearts to each other, so she gradually let go of her doubts.
In the twelfth month, the weather gradually turns colder.
Fortunately, the palace has floor heating and charcoal fires, so as long as you don't leave the palace, the house will be as warm as spring.
In the past, before winter came and the weather was still warm and pleasant, Yan Shu loved to stroll in the garden and beside the Luo Pond. As the weather got colder, the girl went out less and less frequently.
Every day I stay in the Baohua Palace, eating snacks, listening to music, and fiddling with some new gadgets. The days pass by very quickly.
Sometimes Yan Shu would go out of the palace to chat with Madam Hui, and it was also very interesting to learn the craft of making snacks from Madam Hui.
After all, it is almost the end of the year, and the atmosphere of the New Year has begun to emerge inside and outside the palace.
On the day of Little New Year, Yan Shu arrived at Madam Hui's residence early in the morning. The mother and daughter kneaded dough in the small kitchen to make jujube and yam cakes while chatting about buying New Year's goods.
There was light snow outside, and the steaming hot jujube and yam cake was fragrant.
Yan Shu originally wanted to stay with Madam Hui for a while longer, but Madam Hui urged her to go back to celebrate the New Year.
"Now that you have a husband, you can't stay with your mother every day. You have to go back and spend the holiday with the king."
Yan Shu couldn't persuade her mother and had to return to the palace.
When Yan Shu returned to the palace, she planned to send some of the jujube and yam cakes she made with Madam Hui to Xiao Yu, who was handling government affairs in Changming Palace, to try while they were still fresh and hot.
…
But at this time, there was not a trace of the warmth and liveliness of the New Year in Changming Palace.
The young king in a black robe stood before the desk, his handsome face as white as ice.
There were several memorials spread out on the table, and next to them was a bowl of cold medicine. The air was filled with a faint smell of medicine.
Xie Heng, standing in the hall, was dressed in a green official robe, his gentle brows and eyes filled with solemnity.
He unfolded the silk book that King Xiao had just given him, his eyes swept over the words on it, and his face gradually darkened.
Because what was written on it was actually a way out for Princess Chaohua.
From the private residence outside the South City to the personal servants, from the monthly expenses to the future stability, every detail was taken care of.
"Your Majesty, what do you mean?" Xie Heng's voice darkened, and he did not understand what King Xiao meant.
"My body can't hold on for much longer."
Xiao Yu avoided his gaze. The dull pain in his heart had not stopped since early morning in the past few months. According to the old medical officer, he would die in March next year.
"The blood parasite has entered my heart. I won't survive more than three months."
"What!"
Xie Heng looked up suddenly, his eyes full of shock.
Although he had heard that King Xiao Wei used to raise bloodthirsty insects, he didn't know that Xiao Yu was one of them.
"Is there no cure?"
Xiao Yu simply chuckled, a hint of self-mockery in his eyes. "Those who were infected with the Gu back then only lived for three years at most. I'm lucky to have managed to make it this far."
The young king paused, his gaze fixed on the falling snow outside the window. A strong sense of paranoia and a hint of hidden pain surged in his eyes. "But Shushu is different. She is still young. I cannot let her spend her whole life with me."
Xie Heng thought of the loving look in Princess Chaohua's eyes when she mentioned King Xiao, and he felt sorry for her.
"But the queen has feelings for the king. If she knew about this, she would never—"
"She won't know." Xiao Yu interrupted Xie Heng, his tone suddenly becoming cold. "I can't let her watch me die, and I can't let her get pregnant with a child infected by the poison."
He looked at Xie Heng with a hint of kingly majesty in his eyes.
"You are an old acquaintance of hers and can protect her. After New Year's Eve, you will take her away and let her forget me and live her own life from now on."
Xie Heng felt a sinking feeling in his heart when he saw the suppressed emotions in Xiao Yu's eyes.
"Your Majesty, you know how deeply he loves the Queen. Have you ever considered that this might cause even greater harm to the Queen? Although the Queen is naive, she is also loyal and righteous. If you force her to leave, she will only be sad, not necessarily happy."
Xiao Yu lowered his eyes, and the girl's sweet and innocent smile appeared in his mind. Thinking of her trust and attachment to him, his heart seemed to be tightly grasped, and the pain made him almost breathless.
But he was destined not to be able to stay with her forever in this life.
He was also unable to remove the love poison for his Shushu.
Rather than letting Shushu watch him die and be heartbroken, it is better to hide everything and let her let go sooner.
In his previous life, Xiao Yu would never let go even if the patient was terminally ill.
But in his next life, Shushu taught him what love is.
Love is not selfishness or possession, but making her happy forever.
Her happiness must always take precedence over his feelings.
"All I can give her is a few months of tenderness. After that, there will only be loneliness and pain. Letting her go can at least allow her to be happy for the rest of her life."
He opened his eyes, and the paranoia of the past was gone from his dark pupils, leaving only expectations for Yan Shu.
"I'm willing to let it go."
"As long as Shushu is safe and sound, it doesn't matter if she forgets me."
The young king's words were exceptionally calm, yet they still made people feel frightened.
At the same time, a crisp sound of something hitting the ground came from outside the hall.
Xiao Yu's pupils suddenly shrank.
Outside the hall, in the long corridor, Yan Shu was standing there in a daze, tears welling up in her dark, almond-shaped eyes, rolling down one by one.
At her feet was a broken sandalwood food box and scattered date paste and yam cakes.
"Shushu?" Xiao Yu, who had chased out of the palace, saw Yan Shu and raised his hand to wipe away the tears of the girl in front of him.
But Yan Shu suddenly turned her head away. She looked at him, her eyes were red, tears hung on her eyelashes, and her eyes were full of sadness and disappointment.
"Xiao Yu, you don't want me anymore, right?"
Bean-sized tears fell on the marble floor, mixed with scattered date paste and yam cake crumbs, just like the girl's broken heart at the moment.
Her fingers clutching her sleeves turned white, and her voice was tearful but every word was clear.
"We clearly agreed to be honest with each other, but you always treat me like a fool and hide things from me! Do you think that if you let me go, I can truly forget everything and live a happy life?"
Xiao Yu froze in place, his outstretched hand hanging in mid-air, his Adam's apple rolling, but he couldn't utter a word of defense.
He looked at the disappointment in Yan Shu's eyes, which made him feel more suffocated than the pain that penetrated deep into his internal organs. He could only speak with difficulty.
"Shushu, I just don't want you to look at me..."
"If you don't want me to watch you die, you'll just drive me away and die alone, right?" Yan Shu interrupted him, her vision blurred by tears, but she still stared at the person in front of her stubbornly.
"Xiao Yu, you are so selfish! Have you ever trusted me? Is this who I am in your eyes?"
Xiao Yu's throat tightened and he felt an endless surge of guilt.
He wanted to hug the girl in front of him and tell her that nothing was true, but when he thought of his inevitable death in three months, he could only speak in a cold voice for a long time.
"I just don't want to delay you. I will never be able to cure your poison."
His voice was icy yet piercing, piercing the girl's heart.
"So you want to push me to someone else's side? Do you think I will be moved if you do this?"
Xiao Yu remained silent.
Yan Shu looked into his dark eyes, and the dull pain in her heart gradually spread.
She sniffed and wiped the tears from her face, her voice as soft as snow drifting in the wind.
"Xiao Yu, look at me. I have only one last question for you: do you really want me to leave?"
The air seemed to be stagnant at this moment. Xiao Yu looked at the girl's red eyes, and his heart seemed to be cut out of his chest.
He lowered his eyes, and when he looked at the girl again, there was only a deliberate coldness in his dark eyes, and every word he said seemed to be tinged with blood.
"yes."
Such a straightforward and decisive answer shocked Yan Shu, and then a very bitter and disappointed smile appeared in her eyes.
The girl turned around and left without a trace of reluctance, without even pausing.
Xiao Yu looked at the girl's figure disappearing at the end of the palace corridor, raised his hand to cover his chest, and a fishy and sweet taste rushed up his throat.
He swallowed it back, his fingertips cold.
He knew this was the best choice. A short pain is worse than a long one. As long as his Shushu could be happy in the future, it would be fine if she forgot him.
Xie Heng, who rushed over after hearing the noise, could only sigh when he saw this scene.
We clearly love each other, but we have to torture each other like this. Why do we have to do this?
…
Yan Shu left.
The next morning, he decisively packed his bags and left the palace with Qingtao.
When the young king received the news, he was in Changming Palace looking at those incomprehensible memorials.
At this moment, I am listening to Zhou Tong's report.
Xiao Yu's long fingers, holding the memorial, were cold.
Shushu left.
He could also die at will, without any worries.
Obviously everything was going according to Xiao Yu's plan, but at this moment he still couldn't help but feel a sharp pain in his heart.
This is not the pain of a poisonous insect gnawing at your heart, but a pain that feels like your heart is being peeled open inch by inch by a sharp knife.
Xiao Yu still climbed up to the city wall.
He watched from afar as the palace girl got into the carriage. The moment the curtain fell, he seemed to see her silhouette reflected in the curtain.
Perhaps this is his last farewell to Shushu.
But it happened earlier than he thought, more decisively, and made him more heartbroken.
He thought, Shushu must hate him to death.
…
Ever since Yan Shu left, the hustle and bustle of the Xiao Palace seemed to have gone with her. The palace servants didn't even dare to breathe when they were serving in the Changming Palace.
Although the king used to be gloomy, he would often smile and show his affection when the queen was around. But now he has completely lost all his popularity.
He was buried in a pile of memorials all day long, and his face became increasingly paler and colder.
His expression was as cold as ice, and his dark eyes were filled with an unbreakable gloom. Even when he and the court officials were discussing matters, there was a heavy deathly air about them.
The palace servants whispered among themselves that the king was now nothing more than a hollow shell with a lost soul, his eyes filled with gloom and coldness.
But the days will not stagnate without some people, and they will still live their lives in a muddled way day by day.
After a few heavy snowfalls, it was New Year's Eve in the blink of an eye.
According to the old custom in previous years, there should be a New Year's Eve banquet in the Xiao Palace tonight, but the king ordered it to be cancelled.
The absence of the night banquet made the already unpopular Xiao Palace even more deserted.
Even though lanterns were lit everywhere in the palace, it lacked the former liveliness and was filled with coldness.
The same is true for Baohua Hall.
The palace servants were all thinking that if the queen were still here tonight, this New Year's celebration would probably be extremely lively.
After all, their queen is so lively and beautiful.
I still remember when it snowed at the beginning of this year, the queen excitedly said that she wanted to pick some wintersweets to make flower arrangements. At that time, the palace maids in Baohua Palace surrounded the queen, handing her scissors and taking branches. Everyone was chattering and looked happy. Even the goose-feather snow falling on everyone's shoulders seemed to bring excitement.
It’s not like nowadays, where people have to lower their voices even when speaking, for fear of disturbing this overly quiet New Year.
It was New Year's Eve tonight and the snow was still falling, but the figure in the scarlet dress and with a smile as beautiful as a peony was no longer seen in the huge Xiao Palace. The palace servants even felt that even the charcoal fire in the stove seemed much colder than usual.
…
The snow fell from morning to night on New Year's Eve.
The snow stopped for a while during the night, but now it started again.
The gloomy king dismissed the palace servants and walked to Baohua Palace alone.
This was the first time he came here after Yan Shu left the palace.
Since Yan Shu left, Xiao Yu ordered that nothing in Baohua Palace could be moved without permission.
So now the palace still maintains the appearance it had before Yan Shu left the palace. On the small table is a half-embroidered sachet, and on the sandalwood shelf at the head of the bed are the pair of small pottery figurines she bought when she was in Yangu Pass.
The sweetness they experienced at Yangu Pass is still vivid in my mind.
But now it has long since disappeared like smoke.
At this moment, Xiao Yu looked at the smiling pair of pottery figures with a heavy gaze and a mysterious look in his eyes.
Shushu didn't even take away her favorite little pottery figurine. She must be extremely disappointed in him now.
She probably doesn't want to have any more memories about him.
After stretching out his hand and rubbing the pottery figure with his long fingers for a few times, Xiao Yu sat on the ground beside the couch, holding the wine pot, tilting his head back and taking a few big gulps from the mouth of the pot.
The spicy wine burned his throat, but it couldn't suppress the pain in his heart.
For more than a month, he didn't dare to step into Baohua Palace.
It seemed as if only in this way, as if his Shushu had not really left, she just left the palace to go to Madam Hui, and as long as it got later, she would definitely come back.
But looking at the Baohua Palace which was still the same as before, Xiao Yu knew that the girl of his heart would never come back.
Xiao Yu took another sip of the liquor.
This Shaodaozi is really as its name suggests.
At this moment, it was like a knife, cutting his heart bit by bit.
The king lowered his eyes, and there was a numb death in his dark eyes.
He took out the black jade hairpin that Yan Shu had given him personally from his arms.
In the past, every morning when she woke up, she would put his hair in his hair, then fall into his arms and act coquettishly, saying that she would not let him go to court.
But now, she is no longer there.
His fingertips stroked the delicate lines on the hairpin, and his mind was filled with the image of Yan Shu's curved eyebrows when she smiled.
Xiao Yu unconsciously curved his eyes, and his long and narrow eyelashes covered the dim light in his eyes.
He lowered his head and kissed the hairpin reluctantly, and the soft voice of Shushu calling him "Brother Xun" seemed to still echo in his ears.
There was a sound of palace servants talking in low voices outside the hall, and someone seemed to be coming into the inner hall.
The little comfort that he had finally obtained was destroyed, and anger suddenly appeared in Xiao Yu's eyes.
“Get out!”
Following the gloomy king's warning, the scene outside the palace instantly became quiet.
But there were still some people who didn't know how to live or die and pushed the door open and entered the hall.
Hearing the sound of the door being pushed open, Xiao Yu suddenly opened his eyes, and a murderous intent just appeared in his dark eyes, but when he saw the person at the door clearly, his murderous intent instantly disappeared into thin air.
The wine jug in his hand fell to the ground with a clang.
"Idiot! Didn't you chase me away? Why are you acting so pitiful now?"
A familiar and soft tone sounded in Xiao Yu's ears.
At the entrance of the palace, there stood the girl he had been dreaming about.
Yan Shu was wearing a crimson dress and a thick snow-white fox fur coat. Snow was falling all over the sky behind her, but her fair and smooth face was still as beautiful and eye-catching as ever.
Xiao Yu stared at her blankly, his throat tight, and it took him a while to find his voice again, with a barely perceptible dryness in his tone.
"Shushu...why are you back?"
Didn't she leave already?
Isn’t it true that his Shushu will never come back?
Yan Shu walked into the hall, squatted down, and picked up the black jade hairpin that he had dropped on the ground. Her clear eyes stared at him straight, with a little bit of coquettishness and anger.
"Why, you're allowed to lie to me every time, but I'm not allowed to lie to you? The more you tell me to leave, the more I won't leave!"
Xiao Yu was stunned and opened his lips to say something, but the girl in front of him suddenly pounced on him and kissed him on the lips.
The rich fragrance floats between the nostrils.
Xiao She teased the lilac pussy awkwardly but desperately.
The two auras were tightly entangled with each other and never wanted to let go.
I seemed to hear the whistling sound of the cold wind outside the house, blowing up the goose feather snow.
Just when the young king's eyes darkened and he wanted to take the initiative, the girl bit his lower lip hard, and the next moment he heard her soft sobbing voice.
"Xiao Yu, I really hate you..."
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