Chapter 221 This time, I'll leave first

Seeing my vision blurred by tears, Shen Yanci's heart suddenly hurt even more!

The pain made his already unsteady body even more unsteady.

He really wanted to go up and hug his wife.

But he knew that he was no longer qualified.

He also knew that she wouldn't let him hug her.

He never thought that one day he would not even be qualified to hug her.

Thinking about this, all this was caused by his inability to take adequate precautions.

His eyes were so scarlet that he wouldn't even let himself go.

He will make everyone in the Li family, including himself, perish together!

"I'm sorry, Yi Yi, I have to be responsible for her, forget me!"

"Anyway, you can't completely forgive me, right?"

"Instead of being so miserable with me, why not let it go completely and start a new life."

Shen Yanci has always known clearly how much I love him.

Knowing this clearly, I let him know that even if I can't forgive him, I can't completely let him go.

Originally, this was his biggest confidence in persevering and believing that we could still be together.

But now, he wants to use this confidence to destroy my last bit of love for him.

When we got married, he swore that he would love me forever and make me the happiest person in the world.

But not only did he fail to do so, but because of that mentality he misunderstood me, hated me, deliberately ignored me, tortured me, and made me suffer.

He didn't even know how badly I was hurt.

And because of the hatred in my heart, I think I am pretending.

Whenever he thought of those things, he wanted to stab himself a few times!

When he was still innocent, he felt that there was no one in this world who could love me more than he did after he came to his senses, who could give me more happiness, who would never hurt me in the slightest, and he could hold on and not let go.

He spent the rest of his life atonement.

But, he is not clean now.

He knew that there was no way I could accept him like this.

Such injuries and such dirt.

There is no possibility for him and me anymore.

In this way, he didn't want me to be unable to let him go, and wanted me to let him go completely and start a new life.

His love has always been selfish and stubborn. He never thought that one day he would be able to let go of love like, "If you are well, then the sky will be clear."

He always felt that the only way to make him let go was to die!

He really didn't expect that he could do this...

However, I realized that he wouldn't live long.

He couldn't help but stop thinking like that and laughed.

He thought that in the end, he would be able to be less selfish and learn to truly let go and bless.

Actually, not yet.

He is the selfish one after all.

You will let go only when you don't want to live anymore.

"I'm sorry, Yi Yi. It seems like I have been hurting you all these years. Maybe it's just like you said, I don't love you enough. If I really loved you, how could I bear to hurt you?"

"My love is too selfish. I don't deserve such a good you. Let me go and look at someone else!"

When it was late at night and everyone was asleep, Shen Yanci would often think of the question I asked him.

I asked him why if he truly loved me he could hurt me like that. If he truly loved me, he would never have watched me suffer like that.

This made him always unable to help but ask himself, if he really loved someone, how could he be willing to hurt her like that.

He thought about it and finally had to admit it even though he was reluctant.

He is an overly selfish person, and his love is too selfish.

When he was in pain, he wanted me to feel the pain with him. He wanted me to feel the pain so much that he would deliberately ignore all the things that were wrong with me, all the details, and make himself think that no matter what I did, it was my fault.

Let him know that the better he treats Su Yurou, the more pain I feel, and the better he will be to Su Yurou.

Makes me hurt more.

This made him slowly develop the habit of putting Su Yurou above me. Habits are really terrible.

One wrong step leads to abyss.

The more he thought about it, the more he felt that he really didn't deserve it! He deserved it, it was all he deserved.

The best love he could show me was to let go completely, allowing me to live in the sun while he rotted and died in the gutter.

The more I thought about it, the more sincere the look in his eyes became as he looked at me, as if he sincerely wanted me to go look at someone else.

Let me no longer suffer because of this garbage and get real happiness.

I looked at Shen Yanci and watched him say sorry to me.

Watching him made me let him go and look at other people.

My tears were falling harder and harder.

But my heart is not that unable to bear the pain.

Even...even, there is a feeling that the dust has settled.

I finally.

Finally, I don't have to be so painful, so entangled, and so uncertain anymore.

Shen Yanci and I finally came to an end.

I would cry, and my tears would fall harder and harder.

It should be reluctance.

It's the pain of separation.

Eleven years! The best eleven years of life, the most sincere heart, the love that goes deep into the bone marrow, must be completely peeled away from the body.

How can it not hurt?

But fortunately, the pain I experienced before was so painful that I have long been accustomed to it, so I can easily bear this little pain.

I reached up and wiped away the tears that blurred my vision.

It would be great if I could take a closer look at Shen Yanci again.

From the 17-year-old boy's bright and sunny face, I saw the passion when he confessed to me, his deep affection when we got married, his indifference when Su Yuruo came back and knew the pain after he misunderstood me.

Now let me go and look at others, getting farther and farther away.

People really do change, and feelings really do slowly disappear.

It's like the rotation of the four seasons, from budding to flourishing green leaves, falling leaves, and then deathly silence.

He who once loved me so much, I certainly never thought that one day he would ask me to go see someone else.

I once loved him so deeply, but I never thought that one day, when he told me to go see someone else, I wouldn't feel so painful.

The pain makes me want to die.

Instead, I felt relieved, as if the mountain that was pressing on my heart had suddenly disappeared.

There is really no forever in this world.

In this way, we carefully reviewed our past, imprinted it deeply in our minds, and put it in the deepest part of our hearts.

I smiled and said, "Shen Yanci, I hope everything goes well for you for the rest of your life."

Even if I no longer love someone I once loved so deeply and we no longer walk the same path together, I still hope that he is doing well.

Shen Yanci clenched his hands in his pockets, lowered his eyes, and wiped away the scarlet in his eyes. "Thank you. I hope your life will be smoother than mine."

I smiled and said, "Thank you too."

After that, I stood up and said, "I came here just to ask you this question. Now I have the answer. There is nothing else to do."

"I'll be leaving first."

In the two years since Su Yurou came back, I have seen too many scenes of Shen Yanci leaving me behind.

This time, I don't want to watch him leave again.

Want me to leave first.