Chapter 120: Love and Pain
When Qi Shaoyou returned to the world from the system, she said something to Shen Ping.
"Don't call me, wait for me to contact you. Remember, don't worry about me."
Chen Ping didn't understand, but after thinking about it, she decided to do as she was told. Later, she learned why Qi Shaoyou had said that.
Su Yan is truly insane. This is a neutral statement of fact, not an indication that Shen Ping dislikes this person.
Of course, as Qi Shaoyou's friend, she was quite pleased to see this ancestor suffer a setback in her lifetime.
The night was deep, and a cool breeze blew in gusts. Fortunately, it was a summer night approaching autumn, and this cool breeze only made one more awake.
Su Yan looked at the scenery outside the balcony. She was wearing a black suit. The suit had a cinched waist with a very beautiful pleat. Even in her own home, she was wearing a pair of black high heels.
The room was dark, and Su Yan's long black hair obscured her beautiful amber eyes. Everything was black, the only color being the touch of scarlet on Su Yan's fingertips.
Yes, she was smoking. Her face was increasingly obscured by the swirling smoke.
She should have known long ago that Qi Shaoyou, that bastard, never spoke the truth. She should have known when he first pretended to abandon her.
However, she held onto a sliver of hope.
What if? What if her sister really did find a better place to go? She could survive in that world without her as a burden.
So, so...
For the first time ever, Su Yan didn't bother to verify the information. Despite her excruciating pain, she cleverly assumed that she had given her sister a way out.
Yes, she picked her up and raised her herself, so she should give her a good future.
And what happened? Her sister, whom she thought had found happiness, died on the very day she escaped that hell.
Her life was stained with Qi Shaoyou's blood. How ironic and laughable!
And then this idiot actually helped me this time. Even though she had lost her memory, she was still on my side.
Many people in that world said that she had put so much care into Qi Shaoyou when she had just picked up a stray dog.
Su Yan disdained to explain; all those who thought that way died at her hands.
The fusion of memories is not actually a happy one; at the very beginning, Su Yan couldn't even tell who she was.
She had lost her grandmother, had no friends, and it seemed that there was no anchor in the world that could support her to live.
Except for… Qi Shaoyou. Su Yan slowly exhaled a puff of smoke, watching it rise quietly, her heart filled with stillness.
The cigarette smelled bitter and unpleasant, and no matter how expensive it was, it wouldn't change Su Yan's opinion of cigarettes. She didn't like it, and neither would Qi Shaoyou.
However, she couldn't find any other way to relax her nerves.
Su Yan stared at the flickering cigarette between her fingers, feeling a desolation wash over her. Day after day, she waited, like a death row inmate unaware of his sentence, devoid of hope.
She wore all black every day, and every day she was attending her own funeral—Qi Shaoyou's funeral.
Many times, Su Yan didn't even understand how she should live in this world.
Life, once a blessing, has turned into a punishment. Every breath she takes tortures her soul, repeating: You've lost her, the last person in this world who loved you.
Then, an unspeakable pain spread, making her feel like she was living a life worse than death.
Su Yan used to desperately want money—when her grandmother raised her, when her grandmother couldn't afford medical care, and when she almost starved to death with Qi Shaoyou because of money…
"Ding-dong."
Su Yan received a text message on her phone from the school Qi Shaoyou had applied to.
In fact, universities abroad generally notify students of their enrollment via email. Su Yan deliberately put those things aside; if she could apply once, she could apply a second time.
Without Qi Shaoyou, she wouldn't want to live even a day longer.
This is wrong, this is morbid, but she is helpless. From the very first moment she met Qi Shaoyou, her life was no longer in her own hands.
"Sister?" A soft voice came from the dark living room, and Su Yan thought she was hallucinating.
Otherwise, why would she hear Qi Shaoyou's voice?
Smoking is bad.
Someone walked out of the living room, and the moonlight gradually made the person's figure clearer. Qi Shaoyou's figure became clearer, and her dark blue eyes were even more stunningly beautiful under the moonlight.
Her long black hair was tied into a high ponytail, revealing her sharp and beautiful features.
"Why did the dream come so early today?" Su Yan said coldly, exhaling a puff of smoke.
"What are you here to talk about today?"
"Qi Shaoyou, what do you want to say today?" Su Yan's features were naturally cold, and she didn't show much expression even when facing her own illusion.
"Does it mean I should stop smoking, or that I should stop thinking about you?"
"Every time they show up, they never say anything nice."
Su Yan's expression held no excitement of reunion, only weariness. She looked at Qi Shaoyou, his cold face revealing a silent pain.
The pain, hidden without expression, was known only to Qi Shaoyou and no one else.
Many people need to scream, cry, and hurl insults and curses to express their pain...
Everyone has their own way of expressing pain, but she and Su Yan are not allowed to have theirs.
Two runaway children. All the children in the orphanage can do is pretend to be very cheerful and optimistic in order to get enough food to survive.
Even when they are in pain, the most they are allowed to do is to have no expression.
Yes, a blank expression is the maximum they can use to express pain.
"Sister, I'm back." Qi Shaoyou didn't argue whether she was hallucinating or not. She walked to Su Yan's legs and slowly squatted down.
Qi Shaoyou grasped Su Yan's left hand, which was not holding a cigarette, and gently pressed Su Yan's hand against his face.
Unlike typical hallucinations, Su Yan felt human body temperature for the first time.
Suddenly, a tear rolled down her cheek. Just one, a crystal-clear tear.
Su Yan stubbed out her cigarette and then used her trembling right hand to turn on her phone. Even with the ability to feel, she needed other proof that she wasn't insane.
The next second, Su Yan turned on the lights in the room.
The bright incandescent light in the living room shone onto the balcony, and Su Yan stared blankly at the two shadows on the balcony, tears streaming down her face.
Her sister has returned. This time, it wasn't a hallucination, a delusion, or a demon that would surely disappear with the dawn...
"Welcome back..."
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