Chapter 58 A life of equals
"You know, medical students have a heavy workload, so it's not easy to find a partner." Xue He recalled the past with mixed emotions. "So after Xu Yiting showed her affection and dependence on me, we quickly established a relationship."
Ruan Nuan nodded. She didn't have to do anything now. She just had to fulfill her duty as a listener.
"And then? How long did this relationship last?"
Xue He's eyes were covered with a layer of mist, with a hint of melancholy and worry: "Then we spent a happy time. Of course, this happiness may have been an illusion created by me being blinded by love."
"This relationship lasted for three years. She was my first love, and she also made me experience all the ups and downs of love."
After saying that, he smiled bitterly, "Later, because I was busy with my studies, I had less and less time to accompany Yiting, and she sent me messages less and less. I had a feeling that she seemed to be slowly leaving my world."
"Until one day, she sent me a message asking for help, but I didn't see it in time. When I came out of the lab and saw the message she sent me, two hours had passed since she sent it."
"When I arrived at the meeting place, I saw a scene that I could not accept."
Ruan Nuan had heard these contents once before in the coffee shop. This time, in order to let Xue He vent his emotions, she pretended to be hearing them for the first time.
Ruan Nuan: "Then, did you break up with her?"
Xue He: "That's right, but she refused. She tried to keep me many times, but I refused. Then, I graduated with my doctorate and prepared to return to China."
After listening to this, Ruan Nuan felt that part of the reason was because Xue He handled the matter too decisively, or expressed it in the wrong way, which made Xu Yiting mistakenly believe that there was still a chance for their relationship to turn around.
That's why Xu Yiting followed him from abroad to China.
After hearing her opinion, Xue He's face became even more worried. "Yiting's personality is different from others. She is like a child. What belongs to her is hers. Once she sets her sights on a target, she will never give up. There is only the chance for her to betray the other person, not the other person to betray her. If she wants to leave, there is only one way, destruction."
Ruan Nuan: "Then she probably lacked love, and her personality became a little extreme during her growth."
Xue He: "She wants to keep her relationship with me, but how can that be possible? I can't stand her betrayal. Even if we get back together, she always resorts to the same old tricks again."
"This recurring state was the final straw that broke my spirit."
Xue He said, "My medical skills and my profession mean that I won't be able to be in front of her all the time in the future. Even if I can't bear to let her go, even if I'm indecisive, so what? A short pain is worse than a long one. I must cut off this delusion as soon as possible. Let's return to our normal lives."
Ruan Nuan understood. "But Xu Yiting herself isn't a normal person. Your idea is actually too idealistic. In her eyes, you belong to her, and everything about belonging to her should happen in an environment controlled by her. It's according to her plan. Your plan deviated from hers, so it's no wonder she's making a fuss."
"Did you miss several days of work because of her?"
In just a few days, Xue He became increasingly haggard. Clearly, he didn't know what to do with Xu Yiting. "Yes, I'm afraid she'll commit suicide at any moment. I can only follow her instructions and accompany her to do whatever she wants."
He sighed deeply, "But she always drives me crazy with one promise after another that she can easily break, but she never keeps her promises."
Ruan Nuan: "We met at the airport last night. Are you sending her abroad?"
Xue He: "I contacted her parents. When they heard about her situation, they called Xu Yiting and asked her to stay with them for a while. I can finally take a breath."
Ruan Nuan nodded. "I understand the basic situation, but this method is only treating the symptoms and not the root cause. If she has a psychological problem, why not seek treatment from a psychiatrist?"
Xue He's smile seemed to be full of bitterness: "Why wouldn't I have thought of it?"
"But you know what? Xu Yiting herself is a national first-class psychological counselor. The doctor said she was schizophrenic, but she was able to reverse hypnosis the doctor. Now that things have come to this, what else can I do?"
At this moment, Xue He's words fully explained the theory that "doctors cannot save themselves."
Ruan Nuan suddenly felt helpless.
Both inside and outside, it shows Xu Yiting's psychological suggestion, which led to her current state.
She refused to save herself, so she hurt others and herself.
But Xue He fell into this fire pit. If he wanted to climb out, it would not be as simple as losing a layer of skin. At the very least, he would have to go through a life-and-death experience.
Xue He looked at Ruan Nuan and felt that the hope in his heart seemed to have dried up and become desolate in an instant. For a moment, he also wanted to grasp this straw, but the straw had its own thoughts and direction, and was not his vassal, so he felt that he was despicable and selfish.
"Nuannuan, I know I'm really sorry about this. From the very beginning, when you sent me messages, I not only turned a blind eye but also chose to conceal it. Then, later on, I repeatedly indulged myself in deceiving you and failed to be honest with you as a lover should be. I was wrong. I sincerely hope to get your forgiveness."
Ruan Nuan looked at the scarlet corners of his eyes and felt sad for a moment, but even though it was cruel, she still had to say that the love of adults can only be filtered but not changed.
Besides, the only person she can change is her partner. She can't actually interfere with the ups and downs of her partner's ex-partner's past, let alone change it.
She didn't have the ability, nor did she have the delusion that she could save anyone.
So in response to his hope, Ruan Nuan said, "I've never blamed you. Since you've thought about ending this relationship and are trying every possible way to refuse to start over, I don't think you have anything to owe me."
Xue He's eyes suddenly lit up, thinking that there was still hope, so he asked.
"So can you wait for me until I solve these problems?"
Ruan Nuan was silent for a moment, then spoke frankly, "It's not that I don't want to, but I'm afraid you yourself have no way of determining the exact day when these obstacles will be resolved."
Xue He smiled bitterly and retracted his hand that was about to hold Ruan Nuan's hand, "Yes, it was my delusion."
In fact, she and Xue He are really the same, both have been hurt by others.
She was relatively better off. At least Jiang Jinyue was just arrogant and crazy, but not an incurable mental patient. Xu Yiting was in much more danger. A life was often hanging on Xue He's medical record, which sounded scary.
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