Chapter 15
When Li Rong awoke, the flames still flickered in the wind, and the sky was barely breaking. The old woman had also risen early, leaning on her crutches as she watched Su Si boil water over the fire. They didn't want to wait any longer, and had already planned to leave that morning. Xue Heng left his cotton robe with the old woman, while Su Si secretly left some of his and his own dry food by the table.
The old woman bid them farewell with her cloudy eyes, her lips drooping with thanks. They packed their bags, and Xue Heng, basing his thoughts on the map and the information he'd learned from the old woman the previous night, decided to take a detour south of Yingchuan. Li Rong figured that after a few more days of walking, they would reach Chang'an.
They remained silent as they walked. The water on the ground hadn't completely receded, and the dead fish in the puddles gave off an even more unspeakable stench. As Li Rong looked further out, he could see the muddy yellow river. The rain had stopped in Yingchuan, but the dead waters covering the Central Plains were either frozen in thin layers or rippled in the cold wind of approaching winter.
After many days of walking, they had become accustomed to the deserted silence and the occasional nauseating stench. They continued westward, exhausted. The number of people they saw on the road gradually increased, and the counties and prefectures after bypassing Yingchuan maintained a population similar to that of Hanoi.
They rested at the inn, where the innkeeper boiled hot water and brought it to their room in a wooden bucket. Li Rong undressed to wash off the dust from the journey, and closed his eyes in the warm air. He had shared much of the dry food he had brought from Henei County with the old woman, and it was almost time to eat. They could discuss other matters after resting for the night. According to the map Xue Heng had brought, if they traveled day and night, they would be only two or three days away from Chang'an.
Li Rong kept the window open, letting the chill of the autumn wind in. He still felt the stench of decay still lingering around him, lingering within him. Only after he lay down on the couch did the scent of bedding and soap nuts become distinct.
He was naturally a bit dazed, unsure whether tonight would be a night of restless sleep or a night of dreams. It seemed like over three months had passed since he left Luzhou. Even the last ten days of late autumn were about to pass, and they would soon be heading for Chang'an.
Li Rong recalled the long-ago dream of the north, with its vast, rolling mountains and snow he had never seen before. According to his timeline, he could catch Chang'an's first snow, its year-end bustle. He, too, was weary from more than three months of travel, but the prosperity of the north, the one he had longed for, was now within reach.
He rarely felt a hint of weariness, not knowing where it came from or where it would lead. He simply allowed himself to sink into this weariness, blurring the spirit of their midnight discussions, eroding the tranquility of their rainy conversations, and slowly letting himself forget the conclusion that there was food in the granary.
Li Rong smiled wryly, letting out a soft sigh. He knew it all too well. Those memories, about to be buried, were precisely the ones he didn't want to recall, or rather, he didn't dare to recall. His understanding of the art of governing was no longer limited to the grand classics on governing the people in a timely manner.
Those places he had seen with his own eyes and walked through personally. He no longer had premature concerns about the peace of Jiangnan, he no longer calculated the surplus grain in the treasury out of thin air, he only hoped that every city would be as prosperous as the water towns of Jiangnan, and the rivers would be as long and gentle as those of Jiangnan. He only hoped that every place would be like Xuzhou or even better, and that the people who came and went could be completely immersed in peace without losing the past that shaped their customs.
He thought, on this trip, he'd already seen so many people. He'd seen the bustling streets of Gusu, lit by the red maples; he'd seen the scent of cosmetics and alcohol dancing among the pavilions of Jinling; he'd seen the simple folks coming and going; and, a few days ago, when he looked out in the distance, he'd seen fragments of exposed bones.
Li Rong allowed sleep to creep in. He no longer pressed for a master. His accumulated knowledge and experience had replaced the previously unsolved scriptures with new, unknown, and yet unsolved things. These were things he couldn't fathom while still on his journey. He also had a vague premonition that those would be the truths he would eventually comprehend, leaving behind unanswered questions that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
When he woke up again, the sun had already risen above the withered treetops. The county was bustling with people, and Li Rong finally got a glimpse of the prosperity of the Central Plains, even as it was gradually declining. He closed the window and packed his bags again. Su Si was the first to get up, probably to find a driver. Xue Heng still didn't ride with him, perhaps to go with Su Si to rent a horse.
Li Rong took their bags and placed them inside the carriage, then lifted the curtain to gaze out at the scenery. Xue Heng, however, no longer walked ahead of them as before, but instead rode alongside the carriage on the avenue. Li Rong could always see Xue Zhuozhi, seemingly relaxed and otherworldly, sitting on his horse. He no longer admired the vegetation along the way as he had before.
Xue Heng, smiling, was always willing to talk, as if the affairs of the Central Plains had faded from his mind. Li Rong didn't understand any of this; he didn't even know what he was thinking, let alone Xue Heng. They talked about the surrounding vegetation, the increasingly lively streets, and imagined what Chang'an would be like.
He gradually felt a surge of excitement, which helped to wear off their fatigue, and they decided to march all the way to Chang'an without stopping. Li Rong also felt that Xue Heng seemed even more tired than them. Su Si often sat with the coachman, chatting and laughing with each other. Sometimes, when he looked at the curtains blown open by the wind, he would not be able to see Xue Heng on horseback. He would often have to ask the coachman to slow down, and it would take a long time before he saw him rein in his horse to catch up.
Li Rong maintained a suitable silence, just as Xue Heng did not ask about his path, nor did he ask about Xue Heng's path. He just let out two or three almost inaudible sighs at night, not knowing whether they were for himself or for Xue Heng, and they were scattered in the gradually sharpening north wind.
The road from the Central Plains to Chang'an was also bustling with traffic, with countless caravans coming and going. Su Si would sometimes count them for Li Rong, imagining that he might one day open his own shop all the way to Chang'an. He said that prices in Chang'an must be very high, perhaps even more prosperous than in Jiangnan. Li Rong smiled and agreed. Chang'an, after all, was the capital of the later Shang Dynasty, as well as the capital of the previous dynasty.
Winter had just begun the day before they arrived in Chang'an, something Su Si had learned from the caravan leaving Chang'an. Xue Heng, still leading his horse, lagged behind, seemingly avoiding the passing merchants. Their lives had been extremely chaotic since their journey west from Henei County, but now they were finally getting back on track.
Li Rong finally smiled like he had when he first left Luzhou, and with his yearning for Chang'an, he thought that life was indeed not bad. When he arrived in Chang'an, he happened to catch the first snow in the city, and he also settled in the most prosperous capital of the Later Shang Dynasty at the beginning of winter.
Perhaps it was the winter wind that whistled, blowing the curtains aside, allowing Li Rong to glimpse the approaching city of Chang'an. Even as night fell, the lights still shone brightly, as if it were day. Xue Heng, leading his horse, rode alongside them, caught in the traffic jam on the way into the city. The soldiers inspecting the people allowed each one through, and they disembarked to pay the driver. Xue Heng waited in the long line with the driver.
Li Rong followed Su Si into the crowd ahead. Su Si, as usual, was so enthralled by the hustle and bustle that he kept whispering to him. He also listened attentively with a smile to whatever new things Su Si saw or heard, occasionally responding with a few words. The crowd slowly surged forward.
When it was almost his turn, Li Rong turned around and tried to see Xue Heng through the crowd, but he couldn't see him clearly. He followed Su Si into the city and waited at the door of the nearest inn.
The streets of Chang'an were even busier than those in Gusu and Jinling, bustling with activity. Su Si went inside to pay the deposit and negotiate the price with the shopkeeper, then returned to his son and explained how prices here were twice as high as in Jiangnan. Li Rong agreed, saying, "If it were Chang'an, then of course it would be."
The moon in the sky was waning, like a bowstring about to break. He looked up at the moon, unobstructed by clouds, and thought tonight was a rare clear night. "Zi Qu, you're in a good mood," Xue Heng said with a smile as he led his horse into the city. He followed Li Rong's gaze and saw the moon hanging high in the sky.
"Zhuozhi is finally here. It must have been hard on the road. Just do as you please." Li Rong also put on a smile and bowed to Xue Heng. Xue Heng was not polite either. He said that he wanted to go with the coachman to return the horses and then walked into the long street.
Li Rong watched from behind Xue Heng as he led his horse away. The horse's white hooves were stained with the sand from the journey, and its tail drooped, gently waving in the breeze. In a moment, Xue Heng seemed to have naturally blended into Chang'an, just as he had when he entered the city earlier. No matter how hard he looked, he could not find any trace of him.
Su Si called out to him, "Young Master, why don't you go inside and rest first? Young Master Xue will be back soon." Li Rong reached out to help him fix his hairband that was about to fall off, and then they went into the inn with him and went to their own room.
After he finished bathing, he heard noises from the opposite wing, and Li Rong knew it was Xue Heng's return. He pushed open the closed bed in the wing. Each side of the inn faced a bustling street or deep alley, filled with the scent of cosmetics and alcohol, and the bustling voices of people gathering in the city, keeping Chang'an always brightly lit.
The thin, silvery moonlight was naturally far inferior. When Li Rong looked up, he was dazzled by the lanterns hanging in the distance. Only after recovering his gaze did he look at the paper-thin moon. A soft murmur escaped his lips, but it was definitely not the usual sigh.
He finally arrived in Chang'an, where most of his studies were supposed to go. Leaving Chang'an meant returning home every day. Li Rong thought of his father's daily instructions and his mother's figure, and he simply stood quietly by the window, gazing at the moon, which faded against the backdrop of Chang'an.
He thought his father and mother were at home, perhaps seeing the same silver moon as he did, or perhaps they were thousands of miles apart, and the moon looked different in different places. He could only gaze at the moon, still in the sky, with reluctance, just like the one he missed, and the one who missed him.
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