Chapter 4
He didn't know how big the hole in the moonlight was. When Li Gou Wa woke up again, he was left with only a fading hatred. If he was going to die, he shouldn't have let him live a few more days and starve to this state. Slowly, he could no longer muster the strength to even hold onto hatred. He just hoped that if he closed his eyes, he wouldn't open them again.
He was fed up with the pain in his body day and night, fed up with the strong smell of medicine in the house, and fed up with the hunger that was driving him crazy. Even in the village before, he could chew wild grass to fill his stomach, so he never let himself starve to this extent.
He collapsed onto the wooden planks, straining to turn his head and look at the people he was imprisoned with. Most of them had their eyes closed, and it was unclear whether they were asleep or dead.
Li Gou Wa suddenly felt a surge of envy. Whether he was asleep or dead, he wouldn't have to face this life-threatening hunger, the bloating in his stomach, or the stench that filled the room. He couldn't call out to anyone, but an urge arose: he wanted to break free from the bands that bound him, to push open the door directly above him, to get out and escape everything he couldn't control.
It all turned into a sigh, a sigh that rarely came out of his mouth - it was more like a sigh that was forced out than spoken.
He began to look forward to it, looking forward to falling asleep and not waking up, and he felt that time was coming soon. Perhaps if he waited a few more hours, he would no longer have to endure such pain. It would be like the good days before canceling out each other, and he would be reincarnated as a rooster that only crowed every day.
Whoever wants to be a human being can be one, he really can’t stand it anymore.
But he forgot that the scolded God would not always let everyone have everything they wanted. When Li Gou Wa felt that he was about to fall asleep, or die in this room, the door above his head opened a crack.
He was also awakened by the creaking sound. After waking up, he continued to feel the numb pain under his body and tried weakly to retract his fingers.
"This time is the same as before - let me count, how many can survive?" Li Gou Wa didn't hear clearly who made this voice, but he always felt that he must have heard it before.
The visitor squatted down and wiped their eyes one by one. "There are only three of you, not as good as the last batch. Look how much you've made the house stink."
He smelled the familiar scent of medicine, that unpleasant smell that was the smell of a rainy day, and that voice was the source of all the pain he was suffering. Every wrong has its perpetrator, and every debt has its creditor. He clenched his fists tightly, rolling his eyes as if to carve this person's face into his mind. Even if he died, he would never be able to rest easy.
Afterwards, he thought he could let this man go for a while. After all, the man brought a pot of warm tea. Even if he forced it into his mouth, it relieved the thirst in his throat and temporarily calmed the hunger that wanted to eat him alive.
Li Gou Wa closed his eyes, as if to rest after being woken up. He kept licking his lips to savor the remaining taste, a little bitterness of tea leaves, chewing it carefully with his teeth. It was better than nothing.
When the noise in his ears completely stopped, Li Gou Wa thought that the man should have left, leaving only the survivors to stay in the smelly house. He also hoped that the man would untie the cloth, even if it was just to let him drink a mouthful of porridge, just one mouthful would be enough.
As if heaven had heard his plea, Li Gou Wa noticed the man squatting down again against the wooden board and stuffing something into his hand. Just as he was about to open his eyes to see clearly, he felt a new pain in his lower body, even more severe than that day. It felt like something was being pulled out. At the very least, the wound in his lower body opened again, oozing out pools of blood, soaking the linen cloth covering his body again.
He tried to utter a vicious curse, but when he opened his mouth the blood he had just bitten off flowed back into his throat, and he began to cough and choke, pulling at the torn throat as he coughed.
The man stuffed the things into their hands, stood up, pushed open the door and walked out. "Don't waste your energy. Look at you, the ones who survived. You will all live a good life soon." A low and hoarse laugh echoed in the room and disappeared in an instant with the sound of the door closing again.
Li Gou Wa moved his fingers, and his fingertips drooped weakly to touch the thing in his hand. The uneven fine lines on it reminded him that it was the wooden sign that the manager had given to each of them before.
Good days? He's become like this now, how can there be good days after this? Even if he returns to his master's house, he can only lie on the ground like this and wait for death. If it means that he will close his eyes and become dead soon, then it is not wrong to say that it is a good day.
Li Gou Wa loosened his fingertips, pressed the wooden sign with his palm and licked the blood that was almost dried on his lips. He didn't care whether he would have a good life in the future. He just hoped that the man would come again in the evening and pour him half a pot of tea, which would be enough to get rid of his deadly thirst for a while.
He closed his eyes again to avoid being dazzled by the sunlight filtering through the window. After the man had removed the dead body from the house, the stench in the house had lessened somewhat, but the strong smell of medicine remained, masking the fresh scent of blood.
Li Gou Wa closed his eyes for a moment before the door opened again. He thought the man had forgotten something and had returned. Only when the plank and himself were lifted up did he open his eyes in a daze. This was...
Before he could turn around and see clearly, he heard someone talking. "Let's move it back. Tell the noble lady that it will take at most a hundred days to care for it, and then it can be sent to the palace. Our craftsmanship should be no problem."
The steward responded and handed the heavy purse to the man, "If you can deliver it to the palace within a hundred days, the master will continue to reward you."
Li Gou Wa didn't pay much attention as they talked about other things. Move back? Were they going to carry me back to my master's house, along with the board? And keep me there for a hundred days? — It didn't seem like they would let me starve to death. Was this hardship worth a hundred days of good life?
Compared to starving to death, it would be better to live well for a hundred days. He pulled up a smile on his lips. As for the palace and the rewards, they have nothing to do with him now.
He suddenly remembered what the butler had said and quickly grasped the wooden sign with all his strength. Since he was going back to his master's house, he must not throw the wooden sign away. After all, it was the only sentence he remembered.
Li Gou Wa tilted his head, his eyes stinging from the dazzling white light outside. He closed them again, letting the wooden planks rock. The unpleasant odor that had lingered in his nose for the past few days was finally replaced by the scent of the courtyard. He could smell sand carried by the wind, and the chaotic smell of the alley. He couldn't put his finger on it for a moment, but it was much better than the smell of medicine and rotting meat in the house.
He took a few deep breaths, temporarily ignoring the recurring pain in his lower body. After a while, he opened his eyes. Facing him was the blue sky, with few clouds above. No wonder the sunlight had been so dazzling.
Li Gou Wa thought this as he was carried back to his master's house. It seemed to be the same room he'd been in before, and a servant came in to loosen the bandages on his hands and feet. He dragged his sore limbs and elbows, trying to push himself up from the wooden plank. But after a moment, his strength gave out, and he lay back down on the plank, covered in sweat and aching from the pain he'd just felt.
The two people beside him were in the same situation. One seemed to have not recovered yet and was still lying on the wooden board. The other one held on for a while longer than Li Gou Wa. After barely sitting up, he took a breath and lay back down again.
Li Gou Wa thought that the other party must have pulled his wound, so he should just endure it and sit up again. Anyway, he was back, and the manager would not just watch them starve to death or die of thirst in the house.
He lay down and waited, not knowing how much time he had left to think about other things. Like whether he'd be able to eat broth again soon, or what he'd do after his wounds healed. He pouted at himself, laughing at himself for dwelling on such things. He could only live one good day at a time, and it wouldn't be too late to think about the rest of it that day.
Sure enough, before nightfall, the steward came over again. After carefully checking their wooden signs, he ordered the servants to help them up and feed them broth. Li Gou Wa took a sip of the hot soup, not caring about the pain in his lower body. His eyes were fixed on the small bowl of food he was given, and he didn't even listen to much of what the steward said.
"It's a blessing to be alive... When you become rich in the future... then you can stay here well." He vaguely remembered a few words and automatically understood that if he survived, he would be able to drink broth, so he stopped thinking about the pain for the time being.
After the steward left, the lights remained off, and this time even the windows were tightly shut. Li Gou Wa closed his eyes, intending to get his first full sleep in days, the salty aroma of the broth still lingering in his mouth as he endured the pain he had grown accustomed to.
For several days, it was the same: after drinking the broth, they would go to the toilet. Li Gou Wa, supported by a servant, saw his lower body for the first time. A bloody mess of flesh and blood, the smell of medicine still lingering. He froze for a moment, then waited for the steward to urge him to leave before he finished his business and lay down on the couch.
The wooden boards in the room were removed by the servants. Li Gou Wa wanted to reach out and take another look at his lower body, but he was afraid of seeing that appearance, so he could only close his eyes. He had trouble falling asleep that night.
He didn't know what he was now, or even whether he was a man or a woman. The pain and strange feeling of bloating when going to the toilet all began to bother him.
Li Gou Wa felt that he was lazy to begin with. All he needed to think about in recent years was eating well, drinking well and living a good life. But he couldn't forget the feeling just now. It seemed that if he thought about it any further, he would inexplicably break out in a cold sweat.
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