Chapter 75 Letter from England
Chu Wang Fang Jian,
I appreciate your understanding. It’s like meeting you in person.
Please forgive me for not writing to you in such a long time. Since we parted in Shanghai in June, I've been thinking about your last words to me—"You need to think about what kind of person you want to be." At first, those words were a bit irritating. It felt like, if we weren't engaged, I might be a little better than a stranger. Yet, you treated me with aloofness and politeness, like a distant relative you rarely see, patting my head in mock affection and asking, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" or like one of my father's retainers flattering him, saying, "Your son will become a great man in the future."
Please don't be angry yet. I want to tell you something you don't know - if I don't tell you, you may misunderstand me forever.
This journey from the Far East to Europe involves passing through Vietnam and Singapore in Southeast Asia, India and Sri Lanka in South Asia, ports on the east coast of Africa, crossing the Red Sea and the Mediterranean, and finally arriving at the port of Marseille, France, where you can travel by sea or land to various European countries. It's a long journey, and each time the scenery is the same. This time, although I have your mother and your brother with me, the sights and experiences are new to them, but I am still bored, no different from usual. Unexpectedly, this has given me a different understanding of you. For example, Mr. Lin's trip to France was partly to meet a beloved woman. Perhaps because of this, Mr. Lin loves his daughter more than you do, and even went to great lengths to create opportunities for her to be alone with me. As an idler with no ambition, I am truly flattered to hear this, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it.
I think you have also suffered greatly from this; if one day in the future I make some sarcastic remarks about your mother and your brother's behavior, you probably won't blame me, right?
When I was fifteen years old and on the way to Shaoxing with my father, he said to me: "Although the engagement between the Third Miss and you has been verbally agreed by Mr. Lin and I, Mr. Lin said, 'She has been in poor health since childhood and often needs to be taken care of by others. I am afraid she will not be a good match in the future. I want to keep her by my side so that I can feel more at ease. The second daughter in the family is slightly older and the third daughter is two years older. She has been smart and independent since childhood. She may be a better match than the third daughter. My words are insignificant and it all depends on your son's wishes.' The Si family cannot lose the Lin family. After you meet the Second Miss and the Third Miss, you must think it over carefully." Thinking of these words now, I can't help but feel scared: If I hadn't seen you that day, but had listened to Mr. Lin's advice in a daze, where would you be and what kind of situation would you be in?
I have never heard you say these words in person, but just by guessing, I can understand how hard you have worked over the years; I have never really understood you, but I want to force you with my will; I only thought about "whether I will drag you down", but never thought about "what you want to do"; I bound you with my own morality, and almost put you in a dilemma.
As the cry for freedom and equality grows stronger in China, many educated male students are inspired to break free from their constraints and abandon their old-fashioned engagements. Female students are following suit. I often hear this kind of news abroad, and I'm often surprised by how deeply ingrained my father's upbringing has been. I've unknowingly become a relic of feudal society. I'd like to ask you how you feel about this engagement. This moral code has shackled me for many years, often leading me to pursue the ideal of who others want me to be, never considering what I truly want to do. At first, I was angry at your selfishness, but then I realized it was actually me who was selfish. It's naive and ridiculous for someone who doesn't understand themselves to want others to understand them first.
"Think about what kind of person you want to be." These words came from the heart. My father, a student from Japan, entered politics upon his return, but he never supported my political endeavors. After careful consideration, I decided to act in a way that disregarded filial piety, even for my own sake. One must first become an independent individual with free will before earning the understanding and respect of others. At this time, China was still far from peaceful, and so was continental Europe. Just over two years after the Beer Hall Putsch, a less than righteous political party had resurfaced. After studying international law, my classmates and I were outraged by their many policies and spontaneously organized numerous protests against them. Although I knew this move would hinder our correspondence, I made this decision nonetheless—hoping you'll understand and forgive my selfishness.
Because of the above reasons, I will mail the English translation and the letter separately. I hope it can arrive in Hong Kong as scheduled and be of great help to you.
Best wishes
Respectfully submitted by Yan Sang
January 29, 1928
It really took a year to send it.
Chu Wang leaned back in the sofa chair, smiled as he finished reading the letter, then picked up his pen and wrote a few words:
"Mr. Yan Sang, by the time I write this letter, I should have lost my only excuse for exchanging letters with you. But before that, I would like to ask your forgiveness for my presumption in writing you this letter. At the same time, I also ask you to read this letter to the end. I want to tell you that you may not believe it, but I do know a lot about you. For example, what your father said to you before we arrived in Shaoxing, and the political party on the European continent that you and your companions protested against..."
She thought about it, and felt that it was not appropriate, so she crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it away, then hugged the big bear and fell asleep.
——
When I woke up the next day, I heard Mrs. Ge admonishing the maids downstairs, saying, "Put away all the newspapers before I come back tonight, and don't let Miss San see them." She also said, "Don't let her answer the phone." Before leaving, she added, "When she wakes up, tell her: the school called and asked her to rest at home for a few days. Don't let her go out these few days—especially before I come back."
Regarding all this, Chu Wang just tilted his head and smiled: "Do you think I'm too fragile?"
She knew that her stepfather had probably followed the example of her mistress's father in the Northeast and published an article to remove her name from the newspaper. She didn't feel anything about it. She wanted to read her stepfather's brilliant article, but unfortunately the newspaper was hidden.
She was bored at home, and only a phone call from Yau Ma Tei asked her to leave the house.
The two people in the tailor shop haven't changed much from before, except that some of the things in the shop have been moved out, which seems to be a sign that the shop is about to be deserted.
"I am about to return to France and register a clothing company in Paris under the name 'Luca'. If all goes well, I would like to invite you to support the perfumes and cosmetics under the Luca brand in the future. Please don't refuse," said Mr. Saumur.
"Of course not."
Mr. Saumur was returning to France, and Mrs. Nguyen, whose contract with him had expired, would also be accompanying her husband to Vietnam for a while. She knew a little Chinese, and presumably had read the newspapers of the past two days, and had informed Mr. Saumur of this. After saying goodbye, he spoke softly, as if to comfort Chu Wang, "If you grow tired of China, Mr. Dupont and I welcome you to Paris anytime. I think, with our financial resources, it wouldn't be a big deal to help an oriental lady live elegantly in Paris."
Mrs. Nguyen also smiled and said, "My husband and I welcome you to come to Saigon anytime."
Chu Wang hugged them one by one and said, "I will definitely come."
They were all very nice people. If war really broke out, staying in Paris might not be so bad.
But if there is no war, it is certainly better than nothing.
I got off the bus in front of Ge Mansion, took a newspaper from the mailbox at the door, and read it while walking.
Before he could find the one that concerned him, he suddenly reached the foot of the stone steps of the Ge Mansion—a car was parked there. He climbed the steps and walked a few steps into the garden, where he saw a tall, straight figure standing under the marble gatepost, talking to Sui Xi.
At a glance, Sui Xi saw her first, "Mr. Xu has been here for some time. I asked him to come in. He must be waiting for you here."
Chu Wang opened the door, stood at the door and said, "Please come in and talk."
"After a few words, it was inconvenient to talk on the phone. It didn't take long before I decided not to go in."
"Um."
After agreeing, Suixi also walked away.
After Sui Xi left, the two looked at each other in silence for a while. The atmosphere had never been so awkward.
"Liang Zhang..."
"My legs and feet are a little clumsy," he added, "It was inevitable that I would fall down. If it happened earlier, Liz could take care of me, so I don't have to worry."
"That's good."
"Want to hear good news?"
"What?"
Xu Shaoqian smiled, "They've given in. They asked us to send some of them over to the International Settlement. Hong Kong is British, after all. They're more confident if they can reach out."
She nodded. "It's a big step forward anyway."
"Yeah. So I came over to ask you, do you want to go to Shanghai?"
"I……"
"I used to think that as long as I hid you behind me, I would be worry-free. These past few days, I've been wondering if this was the right thing to do. I hid your brilliance, but I didn't expect you to suffer such unfair misunderstandings. I was wrong after all. You are more independent and strong than I could have imagined." Xu Shaoqian sneered and looked up at her. "Let's go to Shanghai? Go further away so I can see your brilliance sooner."
"You're not wrong... I guess I'm not wrong either. I was just too proud to remember what year it was and what era it was."
"So from now on, please be more careful in everything you do." After thinking it over, he still felt uneasy. "You must be extremely cautious."
"I will."
"Dense Star has been announced, and many people you really want to meet will be invited to Shanghai," Xu Shaoqian thought for a moment and smiled again, "But Liang Zhang and I will no longer be there, so you will have more freedom."
"You..." Chu Wang looked up, "You're not going to Shanghai?"
"There are still many things to deal with in Hong Kong. Liang Zhang's friend has contacted Jiangxi - although the possibility is not high, but if necessary, as the only person in the plan who is proficient in Chinese, I have to go there out of sincerity."
"Behind Jiangxi..." Chu Wang thought for a moment, swallowed his words, and said something irrelevant, "When you go to Jiangxi, dress simply and don't tell others about your family's business. Others are fighting the landlords, so at least show some sincerity."
Although he knew she was joking, he still smiled and nodded, "Okay."
After thinking for a moment, she scratched her hair again and asked, "I should have passed all the exams, right?"
Xu Shaoqian smiled and said, "I'll send it to you soon, don't worry."
"Um."
All the necessary instructions were given and all the necessary jokes were made, but suddenly there was silence and the atmosphere became unusually awkward.
Xu Shaoqian said softly, "I apologize to you on behalf of my wife."
"It's okay. I'm not really angry."
"Hmm." He thought for a moment, then began to speak incoherently again. "If, if... I mean, if you don't have a better choice, you shouldn't have a bad life here with me."
"Um?"
"It's okay, that won't happen," Xu Shaoqian laughed self-deprecatingly, "You can live better than I thought."
Before Chu Wang could come to his senses, he gently closed the door. Through the door, Chu Wang could only hear Xu Shaoqian's voice: "Don't worry about going to Shanghai. Don't worry about anything outside of Shanghai, I'll take care of everything."
And another, "Goodbye."
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