How do we
Hearing this, Yuanli was overjoyed and exclaimed, "Is it so precious? I don't know how I got this fox cloak. I saw it in the closet when I went to the palace to pack my things. Such a fine fox cloak would be too conspicuous for me to wear. I'm sure it will look good on you. After I finish my work at Baiwu River, I'll send it to your palace and you can wear it when you get home. The netherworld makes people feel chilly, and your usual robes also give people a cool feeling. This one is warm, and the white color matches your pile of dark robes very well."
"Ari, that's very kind. But, Ari, this cloak is too small for me. This is your size, and it will be most suitable for you. I have many clothes to wear, and I won't feel cold. If you think I look too cold, I'll change to something warmer when I get back."
"No, no, no, no, that's not necessary. I was just saying it casually. I don't think your robes are bad, Axun. You should just wear what you like. Besides, red is the warmest color to look at. You can't wear a bright red robe and sit in the underworld all day like a bridegroom, right? It's too festive and might undermine the solemnity of the Lord of the Underworld."
No matter how Yuanli imagined that scene, she felt like laughing for some reason.
"Why would I wear a red robe when you're not here? If you like, I'd be happy to wear a red wedding robe every day and sit with you in the Netherworld Palace."
Heng Jin interrupted, "Speaking of scarlet robes, aren't the most famous ones in the ghost world mostly the experienced ghosts? Most of them are women. How does that saying go, the Lord of the Netherworld has a handsome appearance, so handsome that it's hard to tell whether he's male or female. It's better not to wear scarlet robes in the Netherworld. It probably won't make you feel warm. Yuan'er may also be a ghost fire born in the ghost world, but after two lives in the mortal world, it's inevitable that she retains mortal habits and fears ghosts."
"How could that be? Even in a bright red robe, Axun would look great. How could he make people feel like they're seeing a female ghost? Axun is indeed handsome enough to be hard to tell whether he's male or female, but he's definitely not feminine, and certainly not effeminate. His features are strong, his face is chiseled, his eyebrows are thick, his eyes are big, and his eyelashes are long. He must be like a man on the street, as beautiful as jade, a young man unparalleled in the world. Even though I can't change my mundane habits, the ghosts I fear are the bloody and hideous kind."
As she spoke, she patted Axun's shoulder again and said gently, "Axun's soul is very warm, so it doesn't matter what kind of robe he wears or how it makes him feel. "Cold" is also a nice word, not a bad one."
Regarding Cha Suxun's appearance, she had heard too many goblins and ghosts, both those who had seen him and those who hadn't, spread rumors. Those ugly things, who couldn't eat the grapes but insisted on saying that the grapes were sour, made up stories about him being feminine and like a woman. It was unpleasant to hear. So, whether Heng Jin meant it or not, she would say it back.
Cha Suxun's hand covered the back of her hand on his shoulder, patted it gently, looked at her with sweet eyes and said, "If I ever become bloody and hideous one day, I will definitely hide from A-Li to avoid scaring you."
"It doesn't matter. Even if you become bloody and hideous, I won't be afraid of you."
She asked Heng Jin through telepathic communication, "What did the Emperor mean by what he just said?"
Heng Jin sent a telepathic message back to her, "Ah Li, what do you think I meant? Regardless of the meaning of what I just said, doesn't Yuan'er have her own understanding of it?"
Yuanli transmitted her voice through the spirit world, "I don't care what you mean by that. Anyway, words like that are easy for people to think negatively about. Emperor, please don't say that again in the future."
Heng Jin transmitted the message through telepathy, "I was indeed a bit angry and said something without thinking just now. I admit that I was wrong and I won't say such things again."
He lowered his head and sighed a long sigh, then continued, "But Yuan'er, that Sky Fox cloak was the one you brought out from Prince Wen's Mansion. You knew it was so precious and rare, but you still gave it to him without hesitation, even though he didn't ask for it back. Can I just throw away something I gave you so casually? Even if you don't like me anymore, I'm still someone you once loved, just like him, right? Why can't you share a little of the softness and bias I showed when we met again? I said I would explain to you the misunderstanding between us about Li Wan. When the time comes, I will tell you everything. I didn't mean to hide it from you on purpose. I had to protect you and our future, so I had no choice. Why can't you give me a chance, give our love a chance...wait for me?"
At this point, Heng Jin, who had been forcing himself to appear calm, tilted his head slightly, lowering his eyes to hide the tears of grievance in his eyes. He tried his best to control his tone, not letting himself collapse and vent the emotions in his words. His tone, driven by the emotions in his heart, made her feel a little fierce or angry.
Although, he was indeed angry.
He felt powerless and angry at his lover for giving up on him due to a misunderstanding, and watching her love slowly disappear like quicksand.
Yuanli thought about the origins of the things that had troubled her for countless nights. Before she could answer him, she felt a bitter sob welling up in her heart.
She was afraid that she couldn't help but have an emotional breakdown, so she quickly meditated with her eyes closed, told Cha Suxun that she needed to concentrate and rest, then cast a spell to transform her original body into a clone. Her original body stood in front of Heng Jin invisibly, and cast a spell to let Heng Jin see her.
"If you can't explain the truth, then don't keep harping on the past with me. It's really annoying! When you and Cha Suxun were jealous of each other, and you were arguing with each other, all the expressions of love you showed were annoying! From my perspective, I suddenly lost and regained my beloved husband, but I was overjoyed and saddened to find that everything he did for me was based on the woman he once loved. I was just her shadow, a substitute! All those things about love were full of lies and hypocrisy, full of the shadow of a third person... No, I am the third person in this relationship. You... you... really! Very..."
Yuanli could no longer speak. She could not hold back her tears, which she had never been able to hold back. Now her tears were getting bigger and bigger, and her eyes were getting more and more sore. Yuanli's voice was filled with anger and unbearable sobs.
She took deep breaths, trying to calm down a bit, but the more she thought about it, the more she felt wronged. Especially when she saw his calm face, she could no longer bear the grievance, even though she knew that Heng Jin's expression was because he couldn't show his emotions.
"You were never the third person. There was no third person. There was only us."
Like her, Heng Jin sat down with her back to Cha Suxun, concentrating and closing her eyes to rest. She transformed her real body into a clone, and the real body stood invisible in front of her, allowing only her to see and hear.
"You keep saying that you're doing this for my own good and waiting for the right time to tell me the truth and clear up your misunderstandings. What's good for me? Letting me keep loving you with what I know and want, watching you work hard to revive her! Making me suffer to this point, is that good for me? Look at yourself. Take the way you couldn't take your eyes off the young Li Wan in Cha Suxun's dream just now. Even when you saw her making a vow to marry another man, you couldn't help but rejoice with her joy. Your love for her is so blinding, it hurts my eyes! And you even ask me why I didn't give you a chance? It's not that I didn't give you a chance, but when will the chances you asked for end? I just don't understand. I'm so cruel. I just don't want you anymore! All the things we loved in the past! I don't want them all! I'll just pretend they never happened!"
"I don't believe it. I don't believe you can just pretend it never happened. Anyway, I can't do it. I can't do it... Yuanli, I really can't do it, and I don't want to."
Heng Jin wanted to reach out and touch her as she broke down and confided in him, but she shoved his hand away, and he didn't dare touch her again. He held back his tears, which fell in large drops.
"Yuanli, it's not that I can't look at this from your perspective. I know it's unfair to you. My concealment and the countless words that asked you to wait for the opportunity made you feel wronged and sad during those days and nights of waiting. I haven't told you the truth yet. Even if you want to understand me from my perspective, you can't. I can bear all your anger, but when I saw you just give the Sky Fox Cloak you brought out of the palace to another man so easily, and even when I heard him mention the Sky Fox Fur, you didn't even think about the possibility that the Sky Fox Cloak was the only one in the entire Wen Palace except Tianshu, and it was most likely that I gave it to you! You don't even think about it, do you really not care about me at all? You don't even want to consider what will happen to me standing next to you I know that I am very selfish and disgusting to you. Even I am sometimes disgusted with myself now, but I really can’t live without you... I really can’t lose you again, Yuanli, how can I not keep repeating the past with you? If I relax a little, you may completely abandon me and the past when we were in love. How can I not let go of the past, Yuanli, how dare I not hang on to it? I know that I am very selfish and disgusting to you. Even I am disgusted with myself now, but I really can’t live without you... I really can’t lose you again, Yuanli, please, please wait for me... Please, don’t let me go so soon...”
"It's not that I don't want you or the past. There are too many unspeakable secrets and unspeakable things between us. Now I really don't know how to convince myself to continue loving you. I can't convince myself, Heng Jin..."
Seeing Heng Jin crying in agony, her eyes filled with pleading, her soft heart seemed insignificant at this moment. She stared into his eyes, and the past scenes of their love flashed through her mind like a revolving lantern, and then gradually turned to the present day where they broke down and confided in each other, but they were full of secrets and many truths could not be expressed. They could only vent their grievances and frustrations to each other helplessly and incompetently.
"How did we end up like this..."
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