paranoia
Her body gradually lost control, her ears tinnitus and her head pounding. Yuanli finally understood why those children sat there motionless and obedient.
Yuanli wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She could only imitate the boy and girl whose hearts were controlled. Fortunately, Ju Yue didn't get suspicious and withdrew his gaze.
Yu Guangzhong, Ju Yue took out the soul-gathering cauldron and sat cross-legged on the ground, shaking it gently. The sound was crisp and pleasant, and very penetrating, and every time it sounded, it made his heart shiver.
As Ju Yue chanted the mantra in a deep voice, the melody was particularly sad. Even if one did not understand the ancient Sanskrit, one could easily be moved by the sadness.
Her mind inappropriately recalled every loving scene with Wen Yici. Those scenes were so attractive that if she focused a little on them, she would immediately sink into them, as if she were stuck in a quagmire.
Until, in front of her eyes, an image of Heng Jin in heaven appeared, wearing armor and battle robe, sitting on the Nine-Headed Goddess, slightly tilting his head to look at her with a cold brow and eyes.
If Wen Yici was the blazing bonfire that attracted her like a moth to a flame, then Emperor Heng Jin was the cold water melted from a thousand-year-old iceberg, always able to sober her up and make her see things clearly.
The twelve children's faces gradually lost color, and Baiyan didn't offer what she wanted to see. Yuanli felt restless. She couldn't afford to disregard human life just to watch this ridiculous, ancient forbidden technique.
"Release Wujiu and return to your homeland. You want to rebel, but I cannot stop you. I beg you to protect the lives and freedom of all my subjects. Now, are these twelve children the descendants of my people of Liangzhu?" Yuanli asked calmly, "Xiao Yan'an, why did you break your promise before your death?"
Yuanli's words were like thunderbolt, a deafening shock to him, leaving him speechless for a moment. He could only open his mouth and say a thousand words, unable to utter them. He just stood there in a daze, his body trembling and cold, tears as big as water drops falling to the ground.
"Xiao Yan'an, I will never be able to forgive you."
Xiao Yan'an stumbled into the formation and tumbled to his knees, disrupting the entire forbidden resurrection technique. His hand, trembling as he wanted to touch her, reached out, gazing at her cold face. Then it stopped mid-air, not daring to cross.
Facing this person whom he had longed for for half his life and who was almost impossible for him to come back, Xiao Yan'an was so excited that he was speechless.
After a long moment of adjustment, he confessed with tears streaming down his face, choking with sobs: "I know I'm sorry... No matter what, I broke my promise to you, whether it was passive or active. Since returning from Liangzhu, I've confessed every day in front of your tablet in Fengyi Hall. I know I was wrong, Jiahe, please, please don't do this to me... Nothing in Liangzhu has changed, and I've expanded my territory several times. I don't want the throne, I'll give it back to you, everything I have, I'll give it to you. I know you hate me, whether you don't want to forgive me or you hold a grudge against me, just treat me as a small thing of yours, an accessory... Even if it's just a cat or a dog, anything is fine, as long as I can be by your side."
"But I don't want any of those, including you. I only want Ah Ci."
"Okay, you want him, you want him. I can resurrect you, and I can resurrect him for you. I've already found a body for you. Qi Heng, the legitimate son of the Qi family, looks exactly like Wen! He looks almost identical to Wen Yici! You'll definitely be happy to see him. I won't kill him out of jealousy and make you sad. Even if there are ten Wen Yici, or a hundred Wen Yici, I won't care. Don't abandon me, okay, Jiahe?"
Xiao Yan'an looked at her with pleading and expectant eyes, like a drowning person grasping at a last straw, or like a devout believer in a temple hoping for a miracle from the gods.
Yuanli refused without hesitation: "No."
Hearing this, Xiao Yan'an collapsed, at a loss. "No... No? No..." He muttered to himself for a moment. Xiao Yan'an, whose body had originally collapsed due to loss, immediately raised his head with joy and said, "No, no, no, I don't ask for so much. I will repent day and night in the Emperor and Empress' Palace. If you can come and see me when you have time, I will be satisfied."
In the darkness, Ju Yue was staring at her intently, his eyes filled with emotions that were difficult to fathom. But that look was terrifying.
"Xiao Yan'an, I'm tired."
Xiao Yan'an immediately wiped away his tears, hid his emotions, forced himself to smile, and said gently: "Okay, I'll take you back to Fengyi Palace to rest."
Seeing her nod, Xiao Yan'an subconsciously reached out to help her up. As soon as he touched her arm, he pulled his hand back as if he had received an electric shock. As if he had done something wrong, he said cautiously, "I'm sorry, you don't like me touching you. I know, I'll be more careful in the future. Don't be angry."
Ignoring Xiao Yan'an, Yuanli avoided Ju Yue's sight and did not look at him.
"Let's go."
"Okay, okay, Jiahe, come with me."
After coming out of the palace, Yuanli breathed a sigh of relief, but at the same time felt regretful that her guess was wrong.
If only, as I imagined, he had taken out a jade hairpin at that moment...
"Jiahe, take my sedan chair. It's more comfortable. Don't worry, the cushions I've sat on have all been replaced with new ones. I haven't touched them."
"I am not worthy of the throne, you sit on it."
Without waiting for Xiao Yan'an's consent, Yuanli walked around the dragon throne and directly sat in the sedan chair she came in. She lowered her eyes and stared blankly at something.
On the way, Xiao Yan'an kept looking back, watching her dejected and lost expression. It felt as if two hands were clutching his heart. He knew that forcing her to stay by his side would make her unhappy, and that it wouldn't win her love over time. But as long as there was a chance to stay by her side, no matter how much they tortured each other, or how much they argued and cursed, at least he could see her.
After a moment's thought, he instructed the eunuch, "Order some new cushions for my sedan chair, embroidered with designs women would like, and send them to Fengyi Palace for the Emperor and Empress to choose from. If there's nothing she likes, have them re-embroidered until she finds one she likes."
"By the way... replace everything I've touched in Fengyi Palace with new ones. From now on, whenever I visit the Empress and Empress, I'll replace everything I've touched."
"Remove the tablets of the Emperor and Empress, and take all the items on the altar back to my bedroom for disposal."
…
Throughout the journey, Xiao Yan'an kept giving instructions and tried to arrange everything as thoroughly as possible.
When entering Fengyi Palace, Xiao Yan'an was always respectful and cautious, following her one meter away and introducing her to every place they passed by.
"This is the main hall. Everything has been replaced with new ones, and the styles and patterns are all based on your past preferences. You should rest well first. I won't bother you anymore. I'll be leaving first. I'll come back when... when you need me."
"No one is required to serve, and no one is allowed to approach Fengyi Palace." After giving the order, Yuanli looked at him and said, "Xiao Yan'an, follow me in."
Seeing this situation, all the eunuchs and maids who were serving beside her couldn't help but worry for her. Yu Guangzhong kept an eye on Xiao Yan'an's reaction, and kept praying to God for protection so that he would not be implicated and executed.
Xiao Yan'an was a little bit incredulous at the unexpected surprise of being alone, and replied happily, "Okay." Then he obediently followed her into the hall and closed the door himself.
Everyone found this scene hard to accept. The Imperial Noble Concubine did not look like an Imperial Noble Concubine, but more like His Majesty. The His Majesty did not look like His Majesty, but more like a concubine in the harem.
But at the same time, I am also happy for myself.
Inside the Fengyi Hall.
Yuanli got straight to the point and said, "Xiao Yan'an, what I'm going to say next may sound absurd to you, but it's the truth. The Su Jiahe who taught you Cuju when you were twelve and the me you've seen since then are two different souls. Although they share the same body, their souls are not. The soul of the Su Jiahe you first loved was assassinated outside the palace on the day she divorced Shen Xuhuai. Without that body, she completely disappeared. What you resurrected is my soul, but I'm not the Su Jiahe you loved. Let me go."
"No matter how absurd your words are, as long as you say them, I will believe you unconditionally. When I was twelve, I secretly vowed to marry you, simply because you were one of the few people who treated me kindly and gently, without any ill intentions. In the years that followed, before we even met, you were glorified in my memory as a godlike being, and I always thought that was admiration. Until, later, I saw you, the soul you said was your Su Jiahe. That feeling of thunder and lightning that came upon my eyes, it's hard to explain, but that is love, an admiration that I want to grow old with."
"Don't you want to ask what I am? What if I'm a monster that brings disaster to the country and the people?"
"For Xiao Yan'an, I couldn't ask for more. At least, you'll stay by my side. I've seen monsters before, and I'd make deals with them just to get you. But I'm just a mortal, and I'm afraid too. But if you were me, I'd only be curious about what you were like originally. No matter if you were a monster, a demon, or a ghost, you're the soul I've been captivated by for a thousand years."
For a moment, Yuanli was speechless. Xiao Yan'an at this moment was even more infatuated than the infatuated man in Naihe who had waited for a thousand years just to see the one he loved from afar.
The love he expressed received no response. Xiao Yan'an looked at her with a slightly frown in front of him. The smile on his lips slowly froze, and the forced smile could not hide his sadness.
Even though her reaction was expected and she was fully prepared, she still couldn't help but feel sad.
He withdrew his gaze, lowered his head, repeatedly fiddled with the jade pendant tied around his waist to conceal his emotions, and blinked hard to force back some of the tears that were about to fall.
"Does being by my side suffocate you? If Wen Yici had never appeared, would you be willing to look me in the eye for once?"
"No, Xiao Yan'an, your love is indeed sincere, but it is also too paranoid and fanatical. Everything you have planned for me makes me feel scared."
"It's true that I've killed many people, and I've plotted against countless people, but if I hadn't done this, I would never have been able to be by your side. But I will never hurt you. You're more important than anything else to me. Really, I swear! If I tell even a single lie, I, Xiao Yan, will die a miserable death, and my entire clan will be wiped out..."
Yuanli stopped his swearing hand and said bluntly with a firm attitude, "I've gone off topic. Xiao Yan'an, let me go. If you insist on trapping me temporarily, I will hang myself again!"
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