Chapter 51 [VIP]
The Hu king's arrival in the capital coincided with the beginning of autumn.
Every year at the start of autumn, there's still no sign of autumn; only a few fallen leaves, as if sensing the chill, drift down in twos and threes. If the fallen leaves and the green leaves on the branches were to say, "Look, autumn has arrived," the sun-drenched green leaves would certainly not believe it. Though autumn arrives slowly, it still feels like the height of summer.
The colorful patterns peeking through the paper window revealed Xue Yi, who had been alone in the Xiyuan Hall for several days. He was suffering from the lingering poison in his body; the drug was addictive, and each attack could take half his life. He had no other outstanding qualities, having endured illness since childhood, his only strength being his extraordinary willpower. Amidst the increasingly pale blood, he felt even more at peace.
Lu Xuejin will be leaving the capital soon, and he has personally packed her luggage. He has already sent travel permits to all the cities she will pass through on her southward journey. Regardless of the local officials, the Censorate and the garrison must obey her. He has also personally prepared all the remaining food, books, and silver.
If it weren't for his current poor health, he could have gone along. He felt uneasy if the young man was out of his sight for even a moment. Now, having been ill for so long, his body and mind were tormented by pain, and his spirit was much weaker. Sometimes he dreamt of his youth, and remained in that dream for a long time, unable to snap out of it.
"Is Your Majesty resting?" A gentle voice came from outside the hall.
He heard the noise, and the guards, even more delighted than he was, quickly invited the person in. There he saw Lu Xuejin. The shadow of the young man fell on the beam. He sat on the edge of the bed and felt that the young man had grown taller and bigger. The birds had escaped their cages and no longer looked weak; when they spread their wings, they seemed light and swift.
"Changyou?" He saw his reflection in the jade. His face was deathly pale, like the last rain of summer, withered before autumn, turning into a withered peony, dying beautifully among the flowers.
Seeing his expression, Lu Xuejin came to the bedside, her brows furrowing. His eyes reflected her image; the young man placed his palm on her forehead, his lips tightening.
Although he has the appearance of a dead man, he is still perfectly fine now, and this appearance must have frightened people.
“Brother… why does it seem to be getting worse lately? Is it really getting better?” Lu Xuejin asked.
"He is indeed much better, but his complexion looks poor. A lot of the stagnant blood in his body has been expelled. Changyou, there's no need to worry," he said.
Lu Xuejin sat down beside him, then noticed the things on the bed and asked, "Brother, are these prepared for me?"
"Hmm. I'm never comfortable leaving it to the servants to prepare. It's almost ready... I'll deliver it to you myself when the time comes," he said.
Lu Xuejin rummaged through the jade stones, many of which were rare gems presented as tribute by court officials. For some reason, whenever he saw a dazzling gem, he would think of a person, and he inexplicably took some with him.
"Brother, why are you bringing all this?" Lu Xuejin asked.
Hearing this, he quietly replied, "It might be useful on the way. Perhaps I was just confused; I just thought it looked nice and wanted to give it to Changyou."
The jade reflected his and Lu Xuejin's faces. He looked weak, while the young man beside him was calm. The two of them looked at each other on the polished gemstone, their black hair and black eyes close together, like half-siblings, twins gazing at each other.
Lu Xuejin: "It's multicolored. Look at this black one, the color is the same as the mole under your brother's eye."
He followed Lu Xuejin's gaze and spotted a black gemstone in the corner. The gemstone was a piece of black jade, its entire surface glowing with a dark luster, and it emitted a fluorescent light from within.
He coughed softly, drawing the attention of the person beside him. Lu Xuejin's gaze held a melancholy she herself hadn't noticed, as if he were dying and she was mourning his passing.
“Changyou, what’s with that expression? Of course I’m not lying to you. I’ve had a tough time these past few days, but I’m definitely getting better. I haven’t bothered you at all, shouldn’t you be happy?” he said.
Upon hearing this, Lu Xuejin withdrew her gaze and said to him, "I have never found you annoying, brother. How could you misunderstand me like this?"
“I have not misunderstood. So, I will ask you not to leave. Would you be willing to stay in the palace?” He wiped away the blood with his handkerchief and leaned closer to look at Lu Xuejin’s expression. Lu Xuejin’s expression remained unchanged.
Lu Xuejin: "These are two different things."
“Brother, I will come back eventually. Take good care of yourself while I’m gone.”
Lu Xuejin helped him up. He felt like a crab in a flowerpot, rotting before dying. He watched helplessly as his body decayed little by little, and could faintly smell the stench of his own corpse.
The blood flowing from the corner of his lips, that foul-smelling, filthy blood, Lu Xuejin lowered her gaze and wiped it away with a handkerchief. He was amidst filth, yet he never succumbed to it, stepping into it to clean the murky mirror, allowing him to see his true appearance.
"Changyou. He will be leaving me soon. Today, let me hold him for a while, shall I?" As soon as he made the request, Lu Xuejin subconsciously looked at the guards standing in the hall and at the spies outside the palace.
He dismissed the guards and approached the young man. The jewels reflected his image as he held someone; Lu Xuejin was in his arms, her figure clearly much thinner than his. He felt a familiar scent, as if he were still in his childhood bed. The boy in red walked towards him, sat down beside his bed, and began to read.
He touched the young man's wrist; a deep scar remained there, thankfully he didn't use his left hand to write. He looked at the scar, rubbed the skin, and then, holding the young man, closed his eyes and fell asleep. When he woke up, it was already past midnight, and the young man in his arms was still warm. He then noticed the dark circles under Lu Xuejin's eyes; she hadn't slept for several days.
He would always have hallucinations when he looked at the young man's wrist, and now it was not too late to back down. He only needed to put shackles on the man and lock him in the palace, then he would no longer have to worry, and he could only feel at ease when he saw the man after returning from court every day. The young man in his arms opened his eyes, saw that it was him, and was still blank-minded after just waking up.
"Brother? I drank some milk tea from outside the palace a few days ago, and I've been having insomnia for several nights. What time is it now?"
Unfortunately, one cannot live in an illusion. The moment the young man awoke, he was pulled into reality, unable to survive in the illusion. In reality, even if he wore the mask of an emperor, he could not imprison people, nor could he destroy the person before him with his own selfish desires.
Xue Yi: "It's almost dawn, time to leave the palace."
"...Someone, help me change my clothes." He spoke, and guards and palace maids filed in. Dressed in a black dragon robe, he looked at his frail reflection in the mirror. His crown almost completely obscured his face, and a small mole under his eye was faintly visible. Because his complexion was so poor, the palace maids applied a little powder to his cheeks and lips, making him look more human.
Lu Xuejin was behind him, and they looked at each other through the mirror. Suddenly, the young man looked out the window. There was nothing outside the window except for a group of guards.
“Changyou,” he walked over, touched Lu Xuejin’s wrist, and took her hands in his, “You will come with me to welcome the King of Hu.”
The red rouge concealed Xue Yi's sickly complexion, revealing his original handsome appearance. The calm look in his slender eyes made his frail appearance disappear, and his original fragility was no longer noticeable.
Lu Xuejin stayed here overnight. He originally planned to go back after seeing the person, but ever since they drank He Niangzi's milk tea, the whole courtyard had been suffering from insomnia for several days. He accidentally fell asleep here, perhaps because the calming incense in Xue Yi's palace was too strong. Falling asleep was a minor matter, but since His Highness had accompanied him into the palace, he was always concerned about the guards outside the door, and thus became distracted, unable to hear what Xue Yi was saying.
"...Changyou?"
Lu Xuejin came to her senses and said to Xue Yi, "I will go with my brother."
Xue Yi: "You just follow behind me. We still need to meet the people. I have my own reasons and don't want outsiders to see you."
He followed Xue Yi out of the palace gates, and as soon as he stepped out of Xiyuan Palace, he saw Murong Yue's figure. Upon seeing him, he lost his balance. Twenty years had passed, and he had never stumbled before, but today, because of His Highness, his heart was in his throat, and he almost fell. But the young man couldn't bear to see him fall, and seeing him unsteady, he immediately stepped forward to help him up, grabbing his wrist with lightning speed.
"..." He couldn't help but want to facepalm, when he noticed the unfathomable gaze in front of him turn and land on Murong Yue's wrist.
The atmosphere suddenly changed, and Murong Yue reacted quickly, immediately kneeling down.
“Look. Someone is more worried about you than I am,” Xue Yi rolled his eyes and stared at the man like a ghost. “Guards, cut off his hand.”
“Brother, I was out of my mind. Please don’t blame him. You are not well now, and bloodshed is forbidden in the palace,” he said.
“…It was I who lost my mind,” Xue Yi looked down at his wrist, rubbing the red mark on his left hand where he had been grabbed, and said to him, “Even I am reluctant to touch you, yet he, a lowly servant, dared to touch you.”
Xue Yi was never so extreme in normal times. Sometimes he couldn't help but feel that Xue Yi's intuition was unpredictable, and he could always achieve his goals by relying on his own preferences in a fog.
Lu Xuejin: "Brother, this is not a proper course of action. Considering the auspicious occasion of the Hu King's entry into the palace, spare his life."
His expression was reflected in Xue Yi's eyes, and cold sweat involuntarily broke out on his temples. Glancing at the kneeling boy out of the corner of his eye, and seeing the boy's knuckles tense, he closed his eyes and said, "Brother, if we don't leave now, we might be late."
Xue Yi looked at him, his dark eyes filled with a heavy deathly aura that enveloped him. He felt a touch on his cheek and sighed, saying, "I've never seen you so nervous before. Look at you, you're sweating. Anyone who didn't know better would think I was dealing with more than just a guard."
“Since Changyou has spoken, I cannot punish him. There is no need to cut off his hands. Instead, imprison him in the water dungeon and deal with him when I return.”
“Why should you get angry with a guard, brother? He probably has elderly parents and young children to support, and it’s not easy for him. If he were locked up in the water dungeon for a day, he would probably lose half his life.” Lu Xuejin said gently, his palms sweating and sticky. He deliberately touched Xue Yi’s finger bones, making contact with his skin.
There had never been such a hint before. He had not taken the initiative to approach Xue Yi. This action was like a show of weakness, a silent lifting of the ban, which made Xue Yi look at him. His eyes narrowed because of uncertainty, and faintly emitted a layer of blood red.
Compared to the pride he once upheld, he now cannot bear to see Murong Yue suffer.
If his actions caused the Ninth Prince's old injuries to flare up again, compared to the humiliation he suffered... it's nothing.
“…Changyou?” Xue Yi looked at him thoughtfully, then suddenly laughed. As if he had received a pardon, his fingers were suddenly grabbed, touching Xue Yi’s icy body temperature, and Xue Yi pulled him into his arms.
"I understand. I will not punish him. If you speak like this, my heart will melt."
Led by Xue Yi, Lu Xuejin felt with every step that the boy's gaze behind him was like venom, seeping into him and dragging him back. He couldn't help but look at the red mark on his wrist; being subservient meant his body no longer belonged to him. He hadn't even felt resentment, yet someone was angry because he had been touched. It was as if he had become an object of someone else's possession.
He had just boarded the carriage when Xue Yi pulled him back, and he sat in Xue Yi's lap. Xue Yi deliberately used this position; his wrist was held, and he sensed the presence of the person behind him before his lips and tongue were sealed. That sickly aura overwhelmed him; the prohibition was lifted, and it was as if he had been given permission to touch the boundaries that had not been allowed to be crossed before.
Their hands were interlocked, their fingers withered, pale and curled up as if they were about to break. Sticky sweat clung to their palms, which then touched his neck and gently pinched, leaving two handprints on his neck.
The deathly aura emanating from Xue Yi transformed into a damp, viscous substance resembling a ghastly corpse, clinging to him like a ghost. That damp, sinister aura seemed to seep into his very being, churning his internal organs to pieces. His ears, wet and sticky, had been licked countless times, becoming like candied fruit that Xue Yi had slipped into his medicine.
He saw himself reflected in Xue Yi's eyes, his hair wet and clinging to his temples, his ears and lips bitten until they bled, the blood beads of which Xue Yi gently kissed away. He tried hard to remain calm, not to be deceived by his reflection in Xue Yi's eyes. Seeing him like this, Xue Yi touched his chin, his slender eyes misting over with a bewitching moisture.
"Changyou, open your eyes. Why are you closing your eyes? Look at you... I only kissed you twice, and you're already sweating so much. You're like a sponge, you'll burst with sweat at the slightest touch."
He met Xue Yi's slightly smiling eyes, and the arm around his waist seemed to drag him into a damp, dark lair. The more he struggled, the tighter the restraint became. He could only let Xue Yi cling to him, and the carriage journey, as he looked out the window, felt incredibly long.
"Your Majesty, Lord Song is waiting for you outside," the guard said.
The carriage curtain was lifted, and Lu Xuejin saw Song Zhao outside. Song Zhao also saw him, and seeing Xue Yi behaving intimately with him, his gaze paused slightly before he calmly looked away.
"..." Lu Xuejin's fingers tightened, and he said, "Your Majesty, it's time to go."
Xue Yi still held him tightly, unwilling to let go, his eyes glued to him, and whispered, "If you don't want to go out, you can wait for me here. I'll come to Changyou after I see the King of Hu."
Lu Xuejin remained silent. Xue Yi was very clingy, and even though he hadn't spoken, Xue Yi whispered a lot more in his ear, but he didn't hear a single word. He only felt his ears and lips were numb, and he was breathless from being held by Xue Yi.
After finally leaving, only he and Song Zhao remained. Song Zhao seemed to have discovered some secret, deliberately avoiding his gaze, which caused him to frown.
He asked coldly, "Lord Song, are you now practicing self-deception?"
Song Zhao then looked over, sized him up, and mimicked his tone, saying, "I just noticed that Lord Lu doesn't want me to see him. If you like His Majesty even a little... I'm sure you wouldn't think this is inappropriate."
"The more I look at you, the more pity and disgust I feel."
A note from the author:
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