Shen Yunxi remained silent for a long while, then looked away and sat still in the chair, subtly lowering her body to conceal herself, even though she knew the other person couldn't see anything.
Regardless, appearing at her door in the middle of the night was already quite suspicious.
"Your Majesty, you jest. If you wish to admire the moon, there are plenty of people to keep you company," Shen Yunxi replied calmly, her tone revealing an undisguised refusal. She did not want to become too entangled with Jun Xuan, especially on a night like this.
Otherwise, it would be easy for bad rumors to spread, and it would be difficult to explain things clearly in such a situation. Others might even think that she was having an affair with him.
"You really don't want to." Junxuan sighed inwardly, realizing he shouldn't have come out after all.
If they didn't make a sound, the two of them could be considered to be enjoying the moon and the beautiful scenery outside together at close range.
Shen Yunxi chuckled lightly, her eyes filled with mockery and disdain. She turned her head slightly away from Jun Xuan and instead looked at the stars in the sky.
"Your Majesty does not know why you have come to invite me to see the night view in the middle of the night, but I feel it is unnecessary. So-called friendship is even more unnecessary. People only truly wake up after experiencing loss and heart-wrenching pain. I have long since let go of my feelings for Your Majesty, and Your Majesty should let go as well. It is better for both of us."
Junxuan will never know that in her previous life, when Shen Yunxi was waiting for Junxuan to return from his campaign in Yaohua Palace, she knelt before the Buddha for a month and even invited Abbess Jinghe of Shuiyue Nunnery to the palace to pray for the emperor.
After praying for blessings for the day, Shen Yunxi drew lots three times in front of the Buddha.
The first draw was a death draw.
The second application was also rejected.
The third draw was another dead end.
Just as Shen Yunxi was about to ask for a fourth draw, Master Jinghe, who was waiting nearby, interrupted him.
“My benefactor, the Buddha is compassionate to all beings and often gives people three chances. Three chances also mean three choices. One thought and Mount Ling appears; another thought and you fall into Avici Hell. All your thoughts and desires will ultimately be in vain.”
Shen Yunxi paused, but she ignored the advice and threw out the fourth and fifth lot on her own.
However, the result of the fortune stick in her hand seemed to reflect Master Jinghe's words. The fortune stick fell to the ground and broke from the middle of the wood grain, shattering into three pieces.
There are five hexagrams in total, and none of them produce anything.
Perhaps thinking of something, Shen Yunxi threw out a few more lots.
Twelve consecutive hexagrams, none of them yielded a result.
Holding the shattered token, Shen Yunxi's eyes reddened, and a tear suddenly fell, spreading across the floor.
"I don't believe it could be like this. Why is it like this?" Shen Yunxi murmured.
“Amitabha, the sea of suffering is boundless, but turning back is the shore.” Abbess Jinghe put her hands together and said, “If you do not let go of your attachments, it will all be in vain. Please let go.”
There are gods watching over her, but unfortunately, the gods did not favor her.
Shen Yunxi understood Master Jinghe's words and understood even more what she wanted in her heart, but she was still very sad and found it hard to accept this result.
This shouldn't be happening, it really shouldn't be happening.
Shen Yunxi was in great pain at this moment. She had prayed for Jun Xuan's affection for her, but she never expected to receive a death warrant instead.
In other words, Junxuan may never love her until his death, and he may never return from this imperial expedition.
Either outcome was unacceptable to Shen Yunxi. She was in so much pain that she couldn't breathe, and her whole body was soaked in sweat, as if she had just been pulled out of the water.
After that, Shen Yunxi confined herself to Yaohua Palace, still reciting scriptures for Junxuan every day, but no longer had any expectations.
Seeing Shen Yunxi's thoughts drifting away, Jun Xuan realized that he had been completely ignored. Shen Yunxi was like this even in front of him, completely unconcerned.
For a moment, Junxuan felt a pang of sadness in his heart, as if a faint, subtle pain was also emanating from it.
Densely packed, like needle pricks.
"It was I who overstepped the boundaries between men and women, and it was indeed my fault. You should take good care of yourself. I'll head back now," Junxuan said slowly.
Shen Yunxi nodded, "Respectfully seeing off Your Majesty."
Seeing that Shen Yunxi showed no reluctance whatsoever, Jun Xuan closed his eyes, his figure flashed, and he disappeared from the spot, and the surroundings gradually became quiet again.
After Junxuan left, Shen Yunxi lay down to rest for a long time. She didn't sleep for a long time, and when she finally fell asleep, she was still dreaming.
Everything in the dream was bizarre and fantastical, containing both painful and joyful moments, but it seemed that the pain outweighed the joy. Shen Yunxi strongly resisted recalling those unpleasant memories.
As the people around her gradually drifted further and further away, she gasped for breath and opened her tightly closed eyes.
After a long while, her icy limbs began to warm up slowly. Shen Yunxi closed her eyes, forcibly dispelling the memories in her mind, and slowly sat up.
In her past life, Shen Yunxi deeply loved Junxuan, but she never experienced the feeling of being cared for by others. For so many years, she walked alone and had long been used to licking her wounds alone.
It was already daylight, but it was still early, so they were probably still attending the morning court session.
If it weren't for Zuo Xuan's sudden appearance last night, Shen Yunxi would never have recalled these unpleasant memories.
On the surface, the wound in her heart has scabbed over, but in reality, it is already festering inside. It's just that it's not visible on the outside, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care.
Jun-hyun, you've finally met your match. Now you know what it feels like to suffer, don't you?
After a long silence, Shen Yunxi gently exhaled a breath of stale air, then slowly got up and began to tidy herself up.
Originally, she only needed to call out to be heard by the palace maids outside, who would then come in to serve her. However, Shen Yunxi did not want to trouble others. After all, they were palace maids in the Empress Dowager's palace, not her own servants, and she always felt that she would be causing trouble for them.
Whether it was Shen Yunxi's words that hurt Junxuan or not, Junxuan did not appear again for the next few days, and Shen Yunxi was happy to have some peace and quiet.
Once her foot was fully healed, Shen Yunxi went straight back to the Shen family.
As soon as she returned to the courtyard, Zhizhi approached Shen Yunxi with a smile, "Miss, you have no idea how lively it has been these past few days while you were away from the manor."
Shen Yunxi was somewhat surprised. "Oh? What's going on? Could it be that my dear fourth sister has caused some trouble again?"
Aside from Shen Leyi, Shen Yunxi couldn't think of anything else that could make Zhizhi so happy. It must be because of the engagement with He Zheng, which had dealt a heavy blow to Shen Leyi. Unfortunately, neither her mother nor her grandmother was willing to help, which was why she was like this.
"I suppose Miss has guessed it, right? That's right, it was indeed Fourth Miss. That Young Master He came to the manor to discuss his marriage with Fourth Miss, and Fourth Miss somehow got wind of it and immediately rushed out of the courtyard. Originally, Fourth Miss was confined to her quarters, but who knows how she broke through the maids' obstruction to reach the front hall, and what happened after that?"
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
