Chapter 45 Without him, she returns to being herself...
Chapter 45
Wen Yining's hometown is a remote small town in the north. It is cold, poor, and backward. In the early years, before environmental management was implemented, the air quality was even worse. At the worst of the smog, it was impossible to distinguish between men, women, and children from ten meters away.
This place doesn't have the dazzling, decadent atmosphere of Beicheng, which makes people feel inferior yet also arouses the desire to climb the social ladder. But she was born and raised here. Her parents, relatives, and so many memories of her life are all here. Even though she has seen the top-level prosperity and power in Beicheng, none of them make her feel at ease like this small town. Her roots are here.
No wonder in movies and TV dramas, people who are injured always go back to their "hometown". For the past half month since she returned home, Wen Yining has been buying groceries and cooking every day, visiting her maternal and paternal grandparents. The days are peaceful and quiet. After staying there for a long time, she has a kind of illusion, as if she has never left this place in her life, and everything in Beicheng is just a pipe dream.
Aside from each other, she and that person had no common classmates or friends, nor any common ground. After they stopped contacting each other, they were like a drop of water, quickly merging into the ocean of life and disappearing from each other's lives.
Sometimes, when she sat on the balcony basking in the sun, she would look up at the azure sky above her, squinting in the sunlight, and she could hardly remember what Li Changjing looked like anymore.
The windfall dividends from Dad did improve the family's life, but they didn't lead to extravagant spending. My parents always felt uneasy about the sudden money, so they donated a portion each month and saved the rest.
They kept their wealth hidden and continued living a simple life, just like before, without ever showing off to anyone.
"Yining, off to buy groceries," a voice called out from the other end.
Wen Yining turned her head and saw Grandma Luo downstairs and an unfamiliar grandmother. The two of them were sitting on low stools downstairs, chatting and basking in the warm winter sun.
She smiled and answered, carrying the groceries towards the stairwell. Her calm and delicate face became even more charming because of her sweet smile. "Grandma Luo, have you eaten yet?"
The two elderly people turned to look at her. Grandma Luo smiled and said, "Not yet. I'll just have something to eat by myself for lunch."
Wen Yining smiled again and walked past them carrying the groceries.
Before she could leave, another grandmother behind her said in what she thought was a low voice, "Is this the daughter of the Wen family upstairs? The top scorer in the college entrance exam!"
Grandma Luo lowered her voice and replied, "It's her. She got into Beicheng."
Wen Yining smiled wryly and amusedly. These elderly people, due to the limitations of the times, had mostly never been to school and lived in a very small world, often engaging in such self-deceptive behavior.
She is considered a "celebrity" in this area. Most people, even if they don't know her personally, know her as "the daughter of the Wen family." They've gotten used to living here for so many years, but they haven't experienced this for a long time since they went to university. Suddenly encountering her again brings a sense of helplessness.
"How come you're so beautiful! So fair and clean!"
"She's been good-looking since she was little, just like her parents."
She had just parked when Grandma Luo interrupted her, and she couldn't remember anything anymore.
Wen Yining stopped and reached into her pocket.
After a while, the conversation outside came through clearly. Because they thought she had gone far away, they stopped lowering their voices. "With someone as pretty as her, she must attract a lot of young men. Take my second sister's daughter, for example. She was only in junior high school when she started hanging out with some shady boys. Her dad was so scared that he drove her to and from college every day. But once she got to college, he couldn't control her anymore, and she started dating a guy who was more than ten years older than her. That guy was well-off and had a child who was already a few years old. She married him and he even bought her a house in the province!"
Wen Yining froze, her expression growing colder and colder.
Grandma Luo's hesitant voice came from behind, "This girl probably wouldn't do that, she was quite obedient when she was little."
"That's not necessarily true! Young girls can't resist temptation!"
Wen Yining took a silent breath, pursed her lips, and subconsciously tiptoed upstairs as quietly as possible.
Behind simplicity often lies ignorance, stubbornness, and conservatism. Ignorant, honest people often carry great malice in their nature. In small cities, gossip can kill a girl, as if girls are born to be restrained and faceless, trapped behind their husbands and sons.
She felt a wave of fear and relief. If these people had seen her past affair with Li Changjing, she didn't know what kind of uproar it would have caused.
*
As the Lunar New Year approached, relatives gathered at Wen Yining's house for dinner, with the news broadcast playing in the background.
The family members in front of them are chatting happily about the things around them, and the news behind them is right in front of them and in their ears. But the turbulent political center is too far away from the world of ordinary people. In the world of ordinary people, they only care about how to make money, which supermarket has the cheapest vegetables, and where there are discounts.
The second-generation elites she knew from the political center were no longer relevant to her.
After eating for a while, my uncle, a political enthusiast, drank a few glasses of wine and began to discuss national affairs. Soon, several male elders at the table started talking about political topics and figures that they had heard about.
"That temple on the west side, when it was being built, the land couldn't be approved. Duan Fengmei was still alive, so the old monk asked someone to find Duan Fengmei. At that time, Li Quanguo was still a local official. Duan Fengmei went directly to the provincial capital to find Li Quanguo, and that's how the land was approved. So my classmate benefited from his aunt's connections, and every time he went back, the head monk would personally entertain him."
"Sigh, Duan Fengmei has been dead for so many years."
Wen Yining silently lowered her head to receive the water.
When they first broke up, she couldn't even listen to the evening news, because she was afraid that his grandfather's name would appear. Whenever she heard political topics, she would think of him.
Now, she can even get up and pour water for her elders as if nothing had happened.
She finished pouring water and sat down. It was probably because she got up to pour water that she attracted attention, and the topic suddenly shifted to her. Her aunt looked at her and asked, "Yining, have you found a boyfriend at school yet?"
"Huh?..." This topic came up so suddenly that Wen Yining smiled and said, "No."
Auntie clicked her tongue, looking at her niece with exasperation. "You're already a junior in college, you need to hurry up and find a boyfriend. Don't wait until you're of marriageable age and still know nothing. A girl's best years are only a few. Enjoy yourself while you're still single. Let me tell you, hurry up and find someone in school, someone from the local area. People in the north of the city are all rich, and the boys there are definitely better than those from here. Don't come back to find a boy from our area!"
These words were unanimously agreed upon by the eldest and second aunts at the table, several female elders: "Our Yining is so beautiful and outstanding, she definitely deserves to find a good husband!"
Wen Yining has grown up and is no longer shy about having such topics discussed in public. Moreover, even if she disagrees with these ideas, she can listen with a smile without arguing.
It's kind of funny. She used to hear things like "You have to study hard and not get distracted" and "Don't associate too much with the boys at school." But in the blink of an eye, before she could even shake off that image, her elders had already changed their tune and were treating her like an adult who was ready to get married.
Liu Jingzhen, who had been silent at the table, looked at her daughter and immediately smiled and defended her: "Our Yining is still a child, let's not talk about that now."
Wen Yining paused.
When watching TV with her parents, if there are intimate scenes, her father will quietly change the channel. She knows it's because her parents still think of her as an innocent child who has never even held a boy's hand.
But she isn't anymore...
Her parents were unaware that the little girl they knew had actually been intimate with a man seven or eight years her senior—the grandson of the man whose name was the focus of the conversation earlier—countless times.
In an instant, guilt, self-loathing, heartache, and a whole host of other emotions surged up, and Wen Yining's throat tightened, her nose stinging with tears.
Before long, the topic was forgotten.
Wen Yining gradually calmed down. As she ate, she inadvertently looked up at the news on the TV in front of her. The host was broadcasting the news professionally and with great intonation. The scene was a meeting room with bright lights and a solemn and grand setting. The carpet on the floor was woven with elegant peony flowers. The camera flashes occasionally appeared on the screen. In addition to the two people sitting in the main seat, there were two rows of single sofas on each side, with four or five people in suits sitting on each side.
A familiar figure sat on one of the sofas, dressed in a well-tailored black suit and white shirt. Even from a side profile, his tall and handsome figure was evident.
That person was perfectly suited to that environment, exuding an air of uprightness and nobility, with a refined air of being well-read and cultured. Sitting there, he seemed born to rise to high positions and be promoted.
The scene only lasted two seconds before switching to another location, but to her it looked like it was in slow motion.
"Crash!" Wen Yining suddenly stood up, the ceramic bowl fell to the ground and shattered, the noise stopped abruptly, and the elders at the table stopped what they were doing and looked up at her strangely intense reaction.
The news footage had long since been switched to somewhere else.
It's been almost three months since I last saw him. I've deleted all the few photos of him I had on my phone.
So this was the first time I'd seen his face since we broke up, and he seemed a little unfamiliar to me.
After instinctively standing up, Wen Yining realized what she had done.
She thought she would lose control of her emotions and lose her composure in public if she saw him, but after doing this action, her heart was very calm. Apart from feeling a little depressed, she could not find any other feelings, not even sadness. It was as if seeing him brought her too little feeling, just enough to make her stand up, and there were no other superfluous emotions.
Feeling awkwardly embarrassed as her relatives watched her, Wen Yining smiled shyly and said in a low voice, "I suddenly have an upset stomach."
"You little rascal, you scared me to death! I thought something had happened!" Auntie said with a playful scolding, "Go on your way now."
Liu Jingzhen picked up the broken bowl. "Did you drink too much orange juice just now? You're not allowed to drink any more!"
Wen Yining responded awkwardly, and had no choice but to get up and go to the restroom to cover up her lie.
She locked the door, looked in the mirror, and saw her own expression. It was calm, without any ripples. She smiled at herself in the mirror, and suddenly felt a pang of self-doubt. Could she actually be a hidden scumbag?
It's only been three months, how come she's already so calm?
She thought back carefully, the sands of time slipping through her fingers, and the feeling of crying for him late at night over a trivial matter when they first got together was now almost unrecognizable.
Author's Note: I originally thought this chapter would include the scene where he makes a phone call, but I realized I was wrong after writing this far. [glasses]
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