Chapter 30 Who says you can’t be a magical girl at 35?
Why didn’t you tell me earlier!
After hearing Ye Xiaoxuan's words, the little cat's first reaction was to get angry, but she quickly understood why. Such a miraculous skill was simply not something that a mere mortal like her could master!
So, under the gaze of the little cat lady, Ye Xiaoxuan held up the bag of dog food and sneered:
“Step 3: Reverse PUA”
"Never let it feel like you can't leave it - like today when it tore down the door, I poured dog food into the cat bowl right in front of it."
For a moment, the little cat girl was petrified when she heard this.
“How cruel! … But what if it bites me?”
"That depends on your ability."
Cat: Thank you for the gift of nature
"What if I don't have a cat?"
"Then put it in your bowl."
Kitten Girl:......
"The fourth step is also the ultimate secret of dog training skills—"
Ignoring the kitten's expression, Ye Xiaoxuan suddenly lowered her voice and said:
"If all else fails, use this—"
As she spoke, she took out a can of spray with the label "Magical Girl Tranquilizer" (Glitter Special Edition)
"Spray once and he'll be as obedient as a dead dog. Spray twice and he'll take the initiative to help you write the weekly report."
Kitten Girl: "Isn't this veterinary medicine?"
"No, it's harmless to Goudan's body, but it will become more excited after the effect of the drug wears off."
Kitten Girl:......
That's it, bye!
After saying that, Ye Xiaoxuan waved her hand quite casually and turned to leave.
[Ding——Congratulations on gaining the recognition of the charming and sultry little cat girl, pure energy +1]
Ye Xiaoxuan: One person has two energies, very good, it will be your turn in the future.
After helping the little cat lady resolve the love-hate relationship between her and the dog, Ye Xiaoxuan had to go back to face her live broadcast room.
Sure enough, after the series of operations she just performed, the live broadcast room has exploded.
"Magic is an identity, girl is a state of mind. Of course, who says you can't be a magical girl at 35?"
“Anchor, anchor, I wrote a poem for you, I hope you like it.
Hum, the name of the poem - Who said
Who says you can’t light up a magic circle at the age of thirty-five?
My thermos wand is filled with stars,
Woolen combat uniforms are woven throughout the galaxy,
A girl’s heart is a crystal star that never stops spinning.
Still stop the electric bike for stray cats,
Turn succulent potted plants into talking elves.
When the instant noodles danced waltz in the pot late at night,
My nightgown is setting off an interstellar journey.
So what if I can’t be the chosen child?
I have already elevated myself to the supreme god——
Draw a teleportation array on the back of the report.
Use coffee grounds to predict whether it will be sunny next week. "
"Okay, okay, the person above is definitely a talented person. I suggest you apply for the Nobel Prize."
"Age may keep a record, but a girl's heart will never keep a record. Come on, everyone!"
"Yeah, who says men can't be magical girls? I'm a man. I was chosen to be a magical girl not long ago. I was very anxious, but after seeing you all, I instantly regained my confidence. Thank you all."
"Catch, caught a real magical girl, look at her legs."
"+1+1, is she really a magical girl? I don't believe it. If you have the guts, upload a photo and let's see."
"The one upstairs, I can hear the beads on your abacus from downstairs."
…
Looking at these various comments, Ye Xiaoxuan fell silent.
Then, as if by magic, she went back to the poem at the top.
To be honest, from a literary point of view, this poem is average, but - "Thank you for your poem, I like it very much."
"So, host, have you agreed?"
Ye Xiaoxuan: What did I promise?
This is the whole process of Ye Xiaoxuan being forced to participate in the Nanchang Long-distance Running Competition.
Do you want to feel your lungs burning?
Do you want to challenge the limits of your psoas muscles?
Do you want to experience the thrill of giving up halfway?
Right now, the 2025 Nanshi International Bounce Convention will give you this opportunity!
The 2025 Nanshi International Bounce Conference is a magical sports drama of Schrodinger-level scale and huge crowds of people jointly organized by Nanshi’s “Not Too Serious Office” and “Sports Atmosphere Group”.
The activity takes "breathing, sweating, and not admitting defeat" as its metaphysical program, and is committed to promoting the philosophical concept of "all people should relax and then exercise", showing the urban magic of Nanshi where "you will forget after running" and the cultural accumulation of "roadside stall supply station", and by the way, providing a fantasy stage for global walking enthusiasts to get lost professionally/take a group walk.
This year's Bewildering Behavior Awards include:
Xiuxian Group (42.195 km, also known as "The Human Leg Disappearance Technique")
Semi-immortal group (21.0975 km, also known as the "Where is the subway station" challenge)
Health group (10 km, scientific name "Morning exercise grandpa crushes you")
Atmosphere Group (5 km, actual distance completed depends on the duration of the selfie)
Note: The registration fee is a gamble! If you don't take advantage of a good deal, you're a bastard. What are you waiting for? Hurry up and register! [Poof——]
2025 Nanshi International Bounce Conference is more than just running!
Looking forward to your joining.
For more details, please call 8888888 for consultation.
Ye Xiaoxuan: ...
The overly informal introduction made her doubt its authenticity for a moment, and then she got an even more informal answer.
8888888
Ye Xiaoxuan dialed the number, and then... got a very serious reply.
This is really a marathon officially organized by Nanshi City.
It was at this time that Ye Xiaoxuan learned the whole story.
Probably just now, the live broadcast room was filled with a happy atmosphere.
Sudden:
Hater A: "Does the anchor dare to participate in the Nanshi Marathon? Is he only good at running with special effects?"
Hater B: "That's right, what else can you do besides hype? You're 35 and you're still pretending to be young and saying you're a magical girl?"
This kind of words are quite common in my live broadcast room, both in the past and now. Just ignore them normally.
It just so happened that the fan whose ID was also called Magical Girl started arguing with these black fans.
After a rather illogical argument between the two sides, the final decision was to let Ye Xiaoxuan participate in the Nanshi Marathon to open their eyes.
I'm afraid they are not in the same group. Just when Ye Xiaoxuan was thinking about whether to participate in the Nanshi Marathon, a voice came from her mind:
[Ding——You have received the expectations of an unknown superpower. If you meet the expectations, you will gain pure energy +1]
What is the expectation of the unknown supernatural being? Could it be the magical girl from before?
Then she must participate.
"Unknown Psychic's expectations? Xiao Zi, what's going on?"
"I don't know. Literally, it seems that because your magic power has increased, my sixth sense has been enhanced, which allowed me to sense this."
Well, although I don’t know what’s going on, this is a rare opportunity, so Ye Xiaoxuan decided to sign up quickly.
So, Ye Xiaoxuan decisively opened her mobile phone, started searching the website, and clicked the [Register] button.
Registration failed, the competition is full, please participate in the next competition.
Ye Xiaoxuan: ...
The late emperor died halfway through his career, and before he could even take part in the competition, Ye Xiaoxuan was stuck at the registration stage.
At the same time, on the other side, in a pink room in the city center.
A young girl was holding her cell phone and passionately arguing with someone on the other end of the Internet, with a look of anger on her face.
"Zi Han, there's no need to be so angry, right?" A kingfisher suddenly flew out of his mind and said to her.
That’s right, the person coming is Tian Zihan.
"How can I not be angry?" Tian Zihan's face was still puffed up. "He said I was a primary school student!"
"But Zi Han, aren't you just an elementary school student?" Xiao Cui didn't understand.
"How can they be the same?" Tian Zihan retorted.
In that situation, when he said I was a primary school student, he was not only looking down on me, but also looking down on primary school students.
"It's like when you're talking to someone about a group assignment, and you say he's wrong, and he says you're a woman, right? This is not only an insult to me, it's also an insult to girls, and it must not be tolerated."
"It's the same this time. He is not only insulting me, but also insulting the elementary school students. Before I become a junior high school student, I must clear the name of the elementary school students!"
The more Tian Zihan spoke, the more motivated she became, and Xiao Cui felt helpless on the side.
"And he even cursed the policewoman, which is even more unforgivable. What's wrong with being 35? Who says you can't be a magical girl at 35? Policewoman, you must let him see this."
Suddenly, two balls of fire burned in Tian Zihan's eyes, "Huh?" Children's thinking is always jumping "Xiao Cui, do you think the police aunt is also a magical girl?"
"It should just be a gimmick. After all, I don't feel any magical girl power from her."
…
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