Chapter 61 He also wants to hide away with you in a place without light.
Is there anything else you don't understand?
One more thing came to his list of fears: the fear of being hated by the other person, the fear of becoming a weapon to stab them. That's why he chose to end his own life that day.
On countless occasions when he was on the verge of collapse, what sustained him was not just the family he missed.
Before countless deaths came, the thought in my mind was, "I want to see you one more time."
Wen Yanyu fell in love with Fu Hanchuan.
Wen Yanyu's fate began to overlap with that of "Wen Yanyu".
Wen Yanyu looked at the person by the bedside, tears welling up in her eyes one after another.
After years of torment, his nervous system was no longer able to secrete normal amounts of dopamine and endorphins, and the sourness seeping from his bones tormented him to no end.
I am just like the "Wen Yanyu" in the book.
Greedy, I've fallen in love with you.
Greedy, I don't want to be hated by you.
I'm greedy; I don't want you to hate me.
Fu Hanchuan silently wiped away the tears from the boy's eyes.
“You did nothing wrong. It’s my fault. I didn’t protect you. I shouldn’t have let you live alone. I should have come back sooner. I should have brought you back to my side sooner.”
“I shouldn’t have let my emotions get out of control. I shouldn’t have run away from all of this. I was too arrogant and thought no one could hurt me.”
Fu Hanchuan's voice was very soft, devoid of emotion, and even lacking his usual coldness; it was simply calm.
Wen Yanyu gently curled her knuckles, but the man gripped her even tighter as soon as she made that move.
Wen Yanyu looked up and met the endless darkness in the man's eyes.
Those eyes, which were always filled with arrogance, became heavy at this moment, like the treacherous surface of a sea before a storm, deathly silent.
A chill suddenly ran through her heart. Wen Yanyu parted her lips slightly and stared blankly at the man in front of her.
Fu Hanchuan simply held his right hand tightly, gently kneading it, looking at him yet not looking at him, lost in his own world.
“I will find you the best doctors to treat your back injury. If they can’t do it in China, we’ll go abroad. If you don’t want to go abroad, I’ll bring all the doctors to China.”
Fu Hanchuan's voice became a little hoarse. He clasped his knuckles into his palm, inseparable, gently caressing, tenderly and affectionately.
"I'm sorry, have you been in a lot of pain? Are you scared? You've been in so much pain that you took so many painkillers. Is it because the pain was so bad that you wanted to end it?"
"I was like an idiot, not knowing anything, and I kept getting angry at you and taking it out on you. I felt so miserable, so I kept ignoring your feelings. Why didn't you tell me?"
Fu Hanchuan lowered his eyes, his gray-blue pupils remaining completely still, as if he were talking to himself, asking and answering his own questions.
"It's because I was too harsh on you, I was too concerned about my own emotions, and I scared you, so you're afraid of me, so afraid that you don't dare to say anything to me anymore."
“I can’t accept your feelings, and I’ve attached my hatred to you, but you are innocent. I should know that. You are not Fu Wenyuan. I should know that.”
"I was so mean to you, so you don't trust me anymore, so you're afraid of me. I'm crazy, so crazy that I can't control my behavior when I'm emotional, and I almost became the one who hurt you..."
Fu Hanchuan's voice suddenly stopped, his eyes filled with an unyielding gloom. Looking at the neck of the person in front of him, he murmured, "I have already hurt you."
"Fu Hanchuan".
Wen Yanyu called out the man's name.
Fu Hanchuan looked up at him, the darkness in his eyes growing even deeper.
Like a layer of impenetrable black fog, oppressive and suffocating, making it hard to breathe.
Wen Yanyu opened her mouth, hesitated for a long time, and then barely managed to say, "Didn't you say you wanted to clarify things between us, Fu Hanchuan? You don't owe me anything, you don't owe me anything, you've never hurt me, I was too greedy, you've already paid back what you owed me."
Wen Yanyu suppressed her trembling voice: "It's all wrong, I shouldn't have..."
He hadn't finished speaking.
Fu Hanchuan suddenly asked him, "Don't you want me anymore?"
Upon noticing the unspoken meaning in the man's words, the man looked up at him blankly.
Wen Yanyu was stunned for two seconds, then covered her eyes with her left hand, hiding the tears that had been flowing since she woke up.
yes.
Fear.
He was afraid that Jun Changmo would capture him again.
But he was even more afraid that the system might make the slightest mistake, which could implicate Fu Hanchuan.
The power of the high magic world is incomparable to that of his world.
He had already understood this long before he witnessed the person who had once wanted to protect him being brutally murdered by Jun Changmo in front of him.
Even with immense power, one is utterly powerless against absolute strength; it is a dimensional reduction attack.
The force in my right hand loosened, and the smell of blood rushed into my nostrils.
Wen Yanyu opened her eyes.
The scene that greeted his eyes made him instantly forget to breathe.
Fu Hanchuan picked up a fruit knife from the table and slashed his wrist hard, blood flowing out and wetting their clasped hands.
Fu Hanchuan looked down at his wrist; the wound wasn't particularly deep. He prepared to make another cut.
Wen Yanyu suddenly sat up in bed and lunged forward to grab the sharp knife in the man's hand.
Staggering, neither of them could sit properly. Fu Hanchuan held them firmly in his arms as they fell to the ground together.
The dagger was knocked to the ground not far away.
Wen Yanyu pressed down on the man's wrist tightly. The blood from the wound on his palm mingled silently with the blood from the wound on his wrist, slowly flowing out and leaving a glaring red mark on the white porcelain floor.
Wen Yanyu pressed herself against Fu Hanchuan, sobbing uncontrollably: "Don't do this, I was wrong, I was wrong, please, please, don't, don't do this, I don't like you anymore, I was wrong, I was wrong, please don't do this."
The wound on his wrist should have been very painful, but at this moment, Fu Hanchuan felt no pain at all, only a blankness.
Make me suffer just like you.
Don't forgive me.
Don't leave me.
An apology is useless; only the same pain is the best apology.
After realizing that the other person wanted to leave, the only way to gain a chance of being forgiven was to hurt oneself.
“Let’s go home together, okay? Come back to my place. We’ll live together from now on. I’ll buy a new house next to the city’s central hospital, and we’ll decorate it together. You can choose some things you like, and the furniture will be whatever you want. I’ll do whatever you say.”
The doctor said the scar had been there for at least five years, while Wen Yanyu had nothing on her body a year ago.
The hair dye in the house, the unusual eye color, the scars that shouldn't be there, and those unreasonable behaviors.
Fu Hanchuan reached out and hugged the boy's waist, resting his head on the boy's shoulder, their bodies intertwined.
"No one will hurt you anymore, don't be afraid. I know I was too fierce, so you don't trust me anymore. It's okay, I will definitely protect you this time."
“I can wait for you, until the day you’re willing to tell me the truth. I will help you punish those who hurt you, and no one will be able to touch you.” Fu Hanchuan softened his voice, his tone strangely gentle and tender. “As long as you don’t abandon me.”
As he finished speaking, the man paused slightly, raised his clean hand, and gently touched the boy's cheek, wiping away his tears.
He said, "I'll give you anything you want except love. You'll still be my best friend. I don't care about the past anymore. I don't hate you anymore. Let's start over."
"As long as you are healthy and don't leave me, I'll give you anything. It's okay if you like men, I'll help you find someone who likes you. I'll help you choose someone carefully, and he will love you too. Sooner or later, you'll be able to let go of your feelings for me."
"I can give you anything except love, as long as you don't abandon me, don't... love me, anything is fine, anything is fine."
His grey-blue eyes were shrouded in humility, his gaze filled with pleading, his voice low and deep, humble yet stubborn.
Like some noble yet dangerous male beast, he lowered his head, begging fear for a peace of mind that could never be regained.
Wen Yanyu struggled to lift her eyes and, through her blurred, tear-filled gaze, made out the man's expression.
Wen Yanyu suppressed a sob and replied with difficulty, "Okay."
Fu Hanchuan picked him up from the ground, noticed the wound on his palm, and hung his head in self-reproach.
"This is the last time."
"I promise."
Wen Yanyu did not respond.
Fu Hanchuan looked down.
The person in her arms had already drifted off to sleep again.
Fu Hanchuan carefully placed the person on the bed, pressed the call bell by the bedside, and their fingers remained tightly clasped.
As dusk fell outside the window, it spilled into the room, landing on the blood-soaked floor and reflecting its light into the gray-blue hue.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com