Chapter 101 Fu Hanchuan, I Don't Want to Be Apart from You
The two stared at each other for a long time until Wen Yanyu was the first to look away, lowering her eyes to avoid Fu Hanchuan's gaze.
"sorry."
Wen Yanyu did not answer the question directly.
Afraid of being noticed, Fu Hanchuan released Wen Yanyu's hand, turned away, and dared not look back.
The air once again fell into a suffocating stillness.
In the darkness, Fu Hanchuan's throat bobbed painfully, his clenched fists trembled uncontrollably, and his jaw chattered.
Fu Hanchuan didn't turn around, not daring to meet Wen Yanyu's gaze, afraid of touching that despairing truth.
Fate played another cruel joke on him.
He wanted to try to deceive himself, but his heart wouldn't allow it.
Do you hate me?
Fu Hanchuan tried hard to steady his voice, but his voice still trembled violently when he opened his mouth.
Wen Yanyu remained silent.
Fu Hanchuan clenched his fist, his eyes welling up with tears.
I answered the question myself.
I hate it.
How could I not hate it?
Who would willingly play a supporting role in another person's story, losing family, friends, dreams, and self because of that person, and even being indirectly tormented for so many years because of that person?
Even being repeatedly hurt by another person, constantly compromising.
How could I not hate it?
How could I possibly love?
Who would fall in love with an abuser? Who would fall in love with a madman? Who would fall in love with someone like him, a despicable person who tries to bind others with love and pain?
A bitter fruit burst open in his mouth, spilling everywhere, so bitter that his tongue went numb and he couldn't utter a single word.
That was the bitter fruit he had sown himself.
The person he loved suffered terribly and was covered in wounds in the years he was unaware of, while he allowed his past nightmares to consume him, becoming one of the perpetrators.
An overwhelming sense of guilt and pain surged through my limbs, and every nerve ending in my body trembled and groaned.
The room was heated by underfloor heating, making it warm and comfortable.
But he couldn't feel any warmth at that moment.
I feel cold all over.
The cycle of a hundred years was glossed over in a single sentence, but he couldn't be unaware of the hidden information within it.
The cannon fodder of the story.
cannon fodder.
The ashes left after the shell was fired.
ash.
A victim whom nobody cared about.
Fu Hanchuan gritted his teeth, his breathing becoming increasingly rapid, his eyes moist and sore, wanting to shed tears, yet knowing he had no right to cry, so he could only clench his teeth tightly.
He wanted to apologize.
But what he feared was crying, adding another burden to his beloved.
He wanted to atone for his sins.
But he had no right to atone for his sins.
Atonement cannot be achieved.
Only the same pain can make for the best apology.
But he didn't even have the right to experience the same pain as Wen Yanyu.
There is no apology, no atonement.
Fu Hanchuan clenched his fists tightly, his ears ringing. The intense bitterness and guilt felt cold and hard, like steel balls rolling over his heart, which had been corroded by sulfuric acid.
Yan Yan needs to rest. You need to control your emotions. You can't let him worry about you. You have no right to let him worry about you, nor do you have any right to make him regret it.
Fu Hanchuan closed his eyes and bit his tongue repeatedly, trying to regulate his emotions with the pain, wanting to get back into a good state as soon as possible and not show any abnormality.
No matter how I adjusted my voice or how many times I tried to speak, I could still feel my voice trembling and my body still weak.
I don't even have the strength to say goodnight.
Feelings of helplessness and guilt raged in his mind, and he felt like he was about to lose control.
The wind blew in through the window.
A dull ache spread through my heart, and an unspeakable grief began to spread.
Fu Hanchuan couldn't help but let out two sobs, his eyes filled with dark, bitter tears, and could only offer a futile apology: "I'm sorry..."
I caught my breath.
Fu Hanchuan suppressed his sobs and tried to speak: "Do you want to move out and live with your friends? I'll buy you a house, anywhere is fine..."
“I’ll give you money. You don’t need to live with me. I’ll find someone to take care of you. You can call me. I’ll always be here. You can contact me if you need anything, if you don’t want to see me.”
Fu Hanchuan's lips trembled as he suppressed the pain in his chest and spoke haltingly, "I won't appear before you, I won't bother you, I'm sorry, I..."
A warm, soft touch came from behind, and a warm hand suddenly covered the cold back of my hand, moving slowly and gently clasping it.
"I used to hate you."
Fu Hanchuan's eyelashes trembled violently, his breathing became erratic, and his right hand, which was being held, tightened involuntarily.
Upon realizing the warmth in her hand, she suddenly relaxed, afraid of hurting the other person if she exerted too much force.
Wen Yanyu placed one hand near her ear, grasped the man's right hand with the other, and pressed her forehead against the man's back.
"But that was just a momentary outburst of anger..."
“I was dragged into the cycle of reincarnation by Jun Changmo. Even if I hadn’t committed suicide that day, I wouldn’t have been able to escape any of this. None of it is your fault.”
While enduring the aftereffects of this, the system, which I used to see every night, started appearing only once every few days for some reason. On the rare nights it did appear, I would only exchange a few words with it before it suddenly disappeared.
However, he could still rest in the consciousness space that the system had left for him. It was there that Si Ye sent him a cross-century communication, telling him things that the system hadn't had time to tell him yet.
Jun Changmo has been expelled, so he doesn't need to worry anymore. The system's sudden disappearance was simply because he was busy repairing the protective barrier of this world.
besides.
It also touches on matters of reincarnation, such as why he was pulled into reincarnation, why he was merely cannon fodder in this world yet was pulled into other worlds, such as his body, and his family members who are about to return.
Although the sound from Si Ye was intermittent, possibly due to the world's blocking mechanism, he could still make out some of the details.
Seeing that Fu Hanchuan didn't dare to turn around and look at him, Wen Yanyu sighed silently.
"This is not your fault."
"I was really happy and blissful during the two years I spent with you."
The warmth of intertwined fingers flowed to my heart.
Wen Yanyu slowly began, “You are the first friend I’ve made since my family left. Before this, no one cared about my health, what I liked to eat, or where I wanted to go.”
“If… there hadn’t been that part of the story, I would still…” Wen Yanyu paused, then said softly, “We would have become very good friends.”
"I will also...like you very much."
Several nights in a row, whenever she sent a message about having a fever, she would see the man at her door in less than half an hour. Whenever she mentioned what she wanted to eat, she would almost immediately get it.
Even the details that he had only casually mentioned during their conversations and that he had never remembered, Fu Hanchuan could remember them all in detail, as if they were his own treasures, and fulfill them one by one for him.
He became independent very early on. Because he had no family and it was a habit, he could handle anything that happened to him and get through it.
But that doesn't mean...
He didn't want anyone to rely on.
The first year they met was on New Year's Eve. He came down from a drinking party in his circle and took a walk home alone to digest his food.
Watching the fireworks fill the sky and smelling the aroma of each family's New Year's Eve dinner.
I'm not lonely.
He said he didn't care.
I'm numb to it all.
It's fake.
nature.
When he saw Fu Hanchuan, carrying the peach cake he had mentioned the night before, a bunch of New Year stickers, waiting downstairs in his apartment complex, covered in snow and looking at him.
To say I'm not tempted...
It's fake too...
He just...
I dare not admit it...
I am currently overlapping with the character "Wen Yanyu" in the story.
Wen Yanyu felt a slight sting at the tip of her nose, lowered her eyelashes to hide the bitterness in her eyes, and spoke in a hoarse voice, opening her heart for the first time.
"Fu Hanchuan".
"I don't want to be separated from you."
Don't push me away.
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