Chapter 44 A Crisis of Trust—But this closest person is in her heart...
Looking at her aunt's cold expression, Lin Zhi couldn't hide the bitterness on her face.
After her parents passed away, only her aunt treated her well and regarded her as family. But now, she had truly hurt her aunt's feelings.
But when she saw her aunt's handkerchief fall, Lin Zhi squatted down to pick it up, and tears still blurred her vision.
This is a handkerchief she embroidered for her aunt a year ago, featuring her aunt's favorite orchid pattern. She usually embroidered a new one every now and then, and her second cousin was still alive when she gave this one to her aunt.
So much had happened in that year that Lin Zhi's hands, clutching the handkerchief, trembled.
"Auntie's handkerchief is worn out, why don't you get a new one? I haven't had a chance to give you the newly embroidered one yet..."
Lin Shaowan had come with a hardened heart, but when she saw her face, which bore a striking resemblance to her deceased brother and sister-in-law, she couldn't help but soften.
What did Lin Zhi do wrong? She just fell in love with someone she shouldn't have. How is that any different from what she did back then?
Seeing that Lin Shaowan did not refuse, Lin Zhi mustered up her courage and helped her aunt inside.
But as soon as Lin Shaowan entered her room, she couldn't help but frown: "If you're going to do needlework, why is the room so dark? The Pei family doesn't lack these few candles. Wouldn't it be a case of losing more than you gain if your eyes were injured?"
Lin Zhi followed silently behind her aunt, her expression deeply moved.
Lin Shaowan casually touched the teacup on the table, then became displeased again: "Don't you know your own body condition? Drinking herbal tea like that, you'll be in excruciating pain when your period starts..."
Before she could finish speaking, Lin Zhi pulled her into her arms.
Lin Shaowan stood there stunned. After the initial surprise, her expression turned somewhat embarrassed: "You're such a grown woman, about to get married, and you're still acting like a child?"
Lin Zhi muffled her soft sobs in her aunt's arms. She knew that her aunt was never the kind of person who would hurt her. Although there had been some estrangement, Lin Zhi still understood the principle that blood is thicker than water.
"Alright, stop crying. How will you embroider your wedding dress if your eyes are swollen like peaches?"
Lin Shaowan's voice was also somewhat muffled and nasal. She pulled the other person down to sit, and after a long pause, she slowly asked, "Azhi, have you thought this through?"
"Getting married isn't just about you loving him and him loving you."
"Now you see each other as perfect, but once you get married, you will see another side of each other that no one else knows."
“It’s one thing for a man to take a concubine and divorce his wife, but you are different. Your parents died early and you have no one in your family.”
“Even if your aunt wants to help you, there can’t be two Peis in one stroke. The Pei family will have to rely on Pei Lang in the future.”
"What if you suffer any injustice at that time?"
Lin Zhi lowered her head. She had thought about these things before. She had only wanted to live a simple and peaceful life, but Pei Lang was the Grand Secretary of the court, which meant that his life would not be peaceful.
Moreover, the Pei family's past seemed to be more complicated than she had imagined. However, having experienced such thrilling days, returning to the ordinary life she once longed for would only feel dull and boring.
Life is so long, and Pei Lang's favoritism is enough for her to fight her fears. If she were to leave him, she would feel that her life is just a series of days.
Lin Zhi pursed her lips. "I understand my aunt's teachings, but now I'm willing to believe him, and I'm also willing to believe in myself this time."
“A-Zhi has always been unable to control her own destiny since childhood, but this time she is making her own decision, and she hopes that her aunt will grant her request.”
After staring at her silently for a long time, Lin Shaowan finally let out a deep sigh.
"You silly child... now that things are going well, you naturally trust him..."
"Very well, if you don't do some things, you might blame me. I just hope you can understand your aunt's good intentions soon."
"In short, the highest and brightest sun and moon, the closest and most distant couple, husband and wife."
"Even if you get married in the future, you must never completely entrust yourself to Pei Lang without reservation. You must keep some things in mind, understand?"
Lin Shaowan's brows never relaxed once Pei Lang was mentioned. She talked on and on about how she had seen Pei Lang over the years, subtly and overtly referring to Lin Zhi.
Lin Zhi's expression turned serious upon hearing this.
Where is your young lady?
The minor injury from the family punishment was nothing to Pei Lang; it had almost healed, and he went to court early that morning. Upon returning, he discovered that Lin Zhi's courtyard was unguarded, presumably because her confinement was about to be lifted.
Chun Tao bowed to Pei Lang somewhat nervously: "Madam has arrived. She is inside talking to Miss."
Pei Lang frowned, somewhat displeased. Hadn't the trouble from a few days ago been enough? What was Lin Shaowan doing here again?
Chun Tao was about to go and inform them when Pei Lang stopped her: "I'm just sending some of your young lady's favorite pastries. I don't want to bother them, so I'll leave after I drop them off."
Chun Tao stood there watching Pei Lang go in, but felt a vague unease in her heart.
Pei Lang had just stepped onto the corridor when he faintly heard Lin Shaowan's voice coming from inside the room. Pei Lang had excellent hearing, and he could hear clearly even when the person inside lowered their voice.
"Since you insist on getting married, then take advantage of your youth and have a child to protect yourself. With a child, Pei Lang will have to be more careful if he wants to harm you in the future."
"Although you are a concubine, you should use this matter to control him and prevent him from remarrying. He still cares about you now, so your words should still have some effect."
"But what you must remember even more is not to give away your whole heart, and never open your heart to Pei Lang, otherwise he will hold your weakness and control you for life..."
Pei Lang didn't need to listen to the rest of the conversation; he knew that Lin Shaowan was teaching Lin Zhi some so-called "art of controlling a husband."
Pei Lang's eyes deepened upon hearing that last sentence. It was clear that Lin Shaowan's elaborate scheme a few days ago was part of her plan. She even knew so much about manipulating people's hearts, and had told Lin Zhi about it.
Pei Lang crumpled the paper wrapping the cakes in his hand, put it down, and left silently.
After seeing her aunt off, Lin Zhi was filled with complicated feelings. On one hand, there was her only relative, her aunt, and on the other hand, there was her husband who would be leaving soon.
The two had conflicting accounts, both of which were like knives stabbing Lin Zhi in the heart. No matter who she believed, she was destined to hurt the other.
Lin Zhi had a bitter face. She felt that it was not good not to trust anyone, but if she trusted anyone, she would be heartbroken.
Seeing her walking absentmindedly into her room, Chun Tao quickly called out to her, "Miss, are you not having dinner again tonight?"
Lin Zhi sighed, "I have no appetite. You guys eat by yourselves."
Seeing her like this, Chuntao earnestly advised, "Miss, even if you ate the cakes the eldest young master brought back for you, you still can't skip meals..."
"If you eat too many cakes and pastries, your stomach will feel uncomfortable later..."
"Wait, what did you say?"
Lin Zhi frowned and asked in confusion, "What? The pastries Pei Lang brought back?"
Chun Tao's face was also full of surprise: "How could Miss not know? Didn't the eldest young master bring it over himself?"
Lin Zhi was about to retort when she seemed to remember something and hurriedly came to the corridor, where she indeed saw a package of exquisite pastries placed not far away.
Holding the pastries, she suddenly felt a little heavy-hearted. When did Pei Lang arrive? How come she hadn't noticed at all?
"When did the eldest young master arrive? And when did he leave?"
Chun Tao was startled by her urgency and quickly reassured her, "The young master returned about half an hour ago. He went in, put his things down, and came out without staying long!"
Hearing this, Lin Zhi was relieved, but she was still flustered, afraid that Pei Lang might have overheard something.
For several days in a row, Pei Lang was not unusual except for his busy palace affairs. He would come to her every night to chat.
Lin Zhi gradually forgot about the incident.
But when Pei Lang said he would accompany her to see a doctor, Lin Zhi moved her head away from his shoulder: "I haven't finished the medicine the doctor prescribed last time, why are we going again?"
But Pei Lang frowned deeply: "The medicine you brewed was exceptionally bitter. Do you think I don't know your temperament? You always drink half a bowl and then throw the other half away, don't you?"
Lin Zhi felt her secret had been exposed and turned her head away uncomfortably, not daring to look at him. But someone pinched her chin and turned her back: "This time, we'll have the doctor prescribe some pills for you, but the dosage will need to be reconsidered."
"Although it's bitter, pills are still easier to swallow than decoction."
Lin Zhi's lips were pinched so hard that she pouted her moist red lips and could only nod reluctantly.
After staring at her for a while, Pei Lang suddenly asked in a soft voice, "Why did Mother suddenly agree to lift your confinement?"
What did she say to you?
Lin Zhi's thoughts were written all over her face, and Pei Lang could hardly miss her guilty conscience, but he didn't say anything to expose her.
"It's nothing. Even when my aunt is angry, she still loves me."
"After she arrived that day, she gave me a lot of instructions, saying that I wouldn't be able to be so carefree after getting married. Oh dear, she said so much that I didn't remember it all..."
Lin Zhi broke free from his large hand, twisted her fingers, and lowered her head, refusing to look at him.
If Lin Zhi was once a timid rabbit in front of him, now she is a cat that occasionally shows its claws.
Pei Lang silently curled the corners of his lips, pleased with her change.
The next day, the two went out together, and as soon as they got off the carriage, they were almost hit by a figure running past at high speed!
"Catch the thief! Don't run away!"
Fortunately, Pei Lang reacted quickly, and with a long arm, he pulled Lin Zhi aside, but Lin Zhi was still a little scared.
Turning his head, he saw that the ragged man seemed to have tripped and was being chased by the people behind him, who were punching and kicking him. Lin Zhi frowned as he watched.
"How dare you steal my stuff! I'll beat you to death!"
Seeing that the people on the ground were almost unresponsive, Lin Zhi couldn't bear it and tugged at Pei Lang's sleeve. He understood and went over to stop them, "Stop! What did he steal from you?"
The burly men who had been attacking him slowly stopped, frowned, and looked over. They gruffly snorted, "You stole several valuable pieces of jewelry from our shop and then went to the pawnshop to pawn them!"
"If we hadn't discovered it in time, it would probably have been converted into silver by now!"
Seeing the person on the ground barely able to move and barely breathing, Pei Lang took a silver note from a servant and handed it over: "This should be enough. Let's be lenient when we can."
The group exchanged glances, looked at the silver notes, and then left respectfully.
When Lin Zhi stepped forward, she saw the man kneeling on the ground, thanking Pei Lang profusely. However, she felt that the man in front of her looked somewhat familiar...
"Uncle?"
Lin Fengyuan, who was kowtowing in gratitude, trembled upon hearing Lin Zhi's voice and slowly raised his head in disbelief.
"Is it really you? What are you still doing in the capital?!"
Seeing Lin Fengyuan's ragged and disheveled appearance, no different from a beggar on the street, Lin Zhi couldn't help but exclaim in surprise.
Seeing this, Pei Lang found the nearest teahouse and took the person there.
Lin Zhi watched as Lin Fengyuan wolfed down all the tea and snacks on the table like autumn leaves being swept away by the wind, a hint of disgust showing on her face.
I used to think he was all high and mighty, but I never imagined he'd be so pathetic. I feel a strange sense of satisfaction.
After finishing a pot of tea, Lin Fengyuan wiped his mouth, but then knelt down in front of Lin Zhi with a thud.
"Niece! Please forgive your uncle! Your uncle will never dare to provoke you again!"
Lin Zhi subtly shifted her body, frowning as she looked at him: "Didn't you run away from the Pei family back then? How did you end up like this?"
Now that Lin Fengyuan had eaten his fill and had some energy, he looked at Lin Zhi with tears streaming down his face and said, "If your aunt hadn't written to me to scare you, I wouldn't have come to the capital!"
"She insisted that she would give me five hundred taels of silver if I came, but in the end she didn't give it to me and even had me beaten up!"
"Aunt?" Lin Zhi frowned deeply. Although he looked pitiful now, Lin Zhi still questioned Lin Fengyuan's words, after all, she really didn't trust this person.
Lin Zhi unconsciously turned her head to look at Pei Lang beside her. After seeing Pei Lang's calm and composed eyes, she felt a little more at ease and held his hand tightly under the table to keep herself calm.
"If you continue to talk nonsense, I will save you, but I will also teach you a lesson!"
Lin Fengyuan exclaimed, "Why don't you believe me? Look! You can recognize your aunt's handwriting, right?"
"If I really wanted to come here, why would I stay in the capital and suffer? It's all because of that bastard Lin Shaowan!"
A creased piece of paper was thrown in front of her. Lin Zhi frowned and unfolded it. The two short lines on the paper were concise and to the point, saying that he would give her benefits in return for asking her to come and play a part in his play.
Lin Zhi stared at the two short lines of text for a long time, her fingers feeling numb, and felt a bitter taste on her tongue and a dry feeling in her throat.
She recalled the nausea and discomfort she felt when she saw Lin Fengyuan again, and the anxiety and unease her aunt felt when she was injured, but she could not recall the words her aunt had said to her out of concern.
So, is it out of concern or just to watch the show?
Lin Zhi covered her mouth and ran out. Watching her disappear into the private room, Pei Lang showed no worry whatsoever. Instead, he seemed more interested in Lin Fengyuan in front of him.
He tapped the bamboo table with his long, slender fingers, his voice indifferent: "You handled today's matter fairly well, but your expression was a bit too much. If you love to act so much, why don't we send you to a theatrical troupe to find a place for you?"
Lin Fengyuan's ingratiating smile froze on his face, and he quickly apologized, "Lord Pei, please forgive me! I will definitely reflect on my actions and never do it again!"
Pei Lang waved his hand and stood up. Lin Fengyuan breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed to the ground after seeing the man leave. However, he did not expect that two more men would enter. One of them covered his mouth and nose with a handkerchief, while the other chopped at the back of his neck with a chop. Lin Fengyuan's vision went black and he fainted.
"My aunt knows I despise Lin Fengyuan the most, so why would she do this?"
"...No, Aunt wouldn't..."
Lin Zhi fled back to the carriage, where she crouched in a corner, hugging herself and trembling.
This fear was different from the fear she had felt when she was almost sold into marriage. Back then, she thought the worst outcome was death, and if she wanted to die, no one could stop her.
After all, she and Lin Feng had absolutely no familial bond, so even if she died, she wouldn't have any regrets.
But things are different now. Her aunt and she are each other's only family, but this closest person has stabbed her heart with such a heavy knife!
Even knowing that her aunt's original intention might have been to persuade her to marry so that she wouldn't be implicated in the Pei family's past affairs, Lin Zhi still couldn't accept it.
She cried until her whole body trembled, and even breathing became difficult, but then she was embraced from behind and lifted into the air.
Leaning against Pei Lang's strong, muscular chest, Lin Zhi's pale fingers gripped his clothes tightly as she cried uncontrollably, broken sobs escaping her throat, her slender shoulders heaving rapidly.
"How could my aunt...?"
Lin Zhi cried so hard she couldn't speak clearly, sobbing and unable to utter a complete sentence.
Looking down at her porcelain-white face, which was flushed from wiping away her own tears, Pei Lang's throat moved slightly, and he showed a look of pity. He simply and quietly wiped away her gushing tears.
“Ah Zhi, no matter how good your intentions are, a mistake is a mistake.”
"You don't need to explain for your mother, as long as you understand."
"In short, we will leave the Pei residence after the wedding, and we will live our own lives. Let today's pain end today."
Lin Zhi gripped his hand tightly, but her heart was filled with turbulent emotions.
She used to believe her aunt was right, but after today's experience, even her aunt was untrustworthy. Pei Lang was her husband, and if she couldn't even trust her own husband, who else could she rely on in this world? Who could she trust?
With cold tears welling up in her eyes, Lin Zhi closed them in utter disappointment. She didn't resent her aunt, but it seemed that their relationship had come to an end.
"My aunt saved me and was really good to me, but everything else is fake."
"It's a lie that she got hurt protecting me. Her kindness towards me was conditional. She only likes obedient Lin Zhi."
A tear slowly rolled down her cheek. Lin Zhi, like someone floating on water, gripped Pei Lang's hand as if it were her last lifeline: "But apart from all that, at least there's nothing fake between us, right?"
Pei Lang gazed into her eyes, which were like misty lake water, and his heart stirred slightly. He gently pressed his forehead against hers and said, "Yes, there is nothing between us."
The busy days gradually eased the pain in Lin Zhi's heart, but she still felt a little awkward when she saw her aunt again. Fortunately, everyone in the mansion was busy preparing for the wedding, and the servants of the Pei family also had to go to Pei Lang's mansion to help.
Although Lin Zhi only received the title of concubine, Pei Lang was ultimately unwilling to wrong her. Apart from the title, everything else was done according to the rules for the principal wife.
Lin Shaowan had initially warned him not to be too high-profile, but she belatedly realized that the fabric Pei Lang sent for the wedding dress was bright red, and he never intended to wrong Lin Zhi.
After the winter month, the weather turned cold again. Although it hadn't snowed yet, Lin Zhi was prone to feeling cold, so the house was heated early.
Two maids brought over pills with a plate of candied fruit and blocked the door in perfect unison: "Miss, it's time to take your medicine."
Lin Zhi looked at the dark pills in front of her with a bitter face. She thought this stuff would taste better than the decoction, but who would have thought that it would be even more bitter and that she would have to chew it a few times before swallowing it with water.
But the two girls had received Pei Lang's orders, and they wouldn't stop until she finished eating, so Lin Zhi had no choice but to eat it hesitantly, as if she were going to her death.
But for some reason, her stomach started burning after eating today. Lin Zhi drank several bowls of tea but it didn't help, and she couldn't sleep well at night either.
When she got up to drink water in the middle of the night, she suddenly wrinkled her nose, as if she smelled something. She should have slept well today with the heating on, but Lin Zhi felt something was wrong. She pushed open the door to look and saw thick smoke billowing out of the other room!
That's where the wedding dresses and jewelry are kept!
Lin Zhi stood there stunned for a while before remembering to call someone.
"Help! There's a fire! There's a fire!"
By the time Pei Lang arrived, the warm pavilion was already mostly burned down, and everyone in the Pei household was carrying buckets and basins to put out the fire. He frowned and strode towards Lin Zhi, who was wrapped tightly in a thick quilt, his expression anxious: "Are you injured?"
Lin Zhi's nose and cheeks were covered in dust, and she stared at him with teary eyes as if she were terrified. After a long while, she slowly shook her head, but when she opened her mouth, her voice was filled with sobs: "I'm fine... it's just that, it's just that my wedding dress and headdress are in the warm pavilion!"
The wedding dress was embroidered by Lin Zhi herself, stitch by stitch. Unlike her previous perfunctory work, this was the wedding dress she was going to wear to marry her beloved, so naturally she had to put her heart into embroidering it.
I never imagined that I would suffer such a calamity.
Looking at her tear-streaked face, Pei Lang gently tightened his grip on her shoulder, wiped away her tears, and softly comforted her, "Don't worry, I'll think of a way."
As soon as he finished speaking, Pei Lang turned around and found a blanket of suitable thickness. He poured a bucket of water on the blanket, then draped it over himself and rushed into the burning warm room.
"Pei Lang!"
Lin Zhi screamed in despair, her legs went weak and she collapsed to the ground. She never expected that Pei Lang's talk of finding a solution would actually mean rushing in himself!
The heated room was burning so fiercely that the servants didn't even dare to get too close to splash water, let alone rush in to snatch anything out.
The blanket on Lin Zhi fell to the ground, and she could barely stand up, but she still wanted to go to the warm pavilion.
Chuntao and Xiaying hugged her tightly, and the two little maids, covered in soot, started crying: "Miss, you can't go! You're weak, what if you get choked by the soot!"
When Lin Shaowan and Pei's father rushed over, the fire had already subsided considerably, and the doctor also hurried over with his medicine box.
Pei Lang sat on the ground, his brocade robe burned in several places, and he had a cut on his forehead. The most serious burn was on the back of his hand. When the doctor applied medicine and bandaged him, a rare look of forbearance appeared on his face.
"How could you be so foolish! The wedding dress is gone, and even if you get in, it'll be too late!"
"But what am I supposed to do if something happens to you?!"
Lin Zhi was sobbing uncontrollably. She originally wanted to hit him a couple of times, but seeing his weak and disheveled appearance, she didn't dare to do it.
Pei Lang, his lips pale, struggled to lift his other hand and tuck her disheveled hair behind his ear. "I told you, I won't make you sad anymore. I'll take care of everything."
Lin Zhi was provoked by these words and started crying uncontrollably.
Lin Shaowan witnessed this scene and, for the first time, began to doubt herself.
Is Pei Lang truly sincere towards A-Zhi?
-----------------------
Author's Note: My girlfriends, please add my upcoming urban romance novel, "Seduction Trap," to your favorites if you like it. I've been studying a lot of modern romance writing techniques lately and want to show them off to you all, hehe.
However, the ending isn't perfect; the male and female leads don't end up together, and the woman isn't a virgin! [Highlighted]
A story of an ordinary girl's revenge. If you like it, please wait until the story of "My Cousin" is finished before you read it!
I'll save up some drafts for this contemporary romance novel first, and then start publishing it after my cousin's story is finished. I estimate I'll be able to finish the entire book by then. It won't be long, around 100,000 words, and I should be able to publish it within a month.
Then, after this modern romance novel ends, I'll be reading "The Third Scholar"~ [heart emoji][pat on the head emoji]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
