Chapter 101 Past Life + Reality Memories
Chen Xiliu once thought that if he could have met Qi Yan earlier, Qi Yan would have been able to avoid so much suffering.
But it’s not good at all!
When Shen Xiliu knew that they had met once when they were children, he no longer dared to think so. Just by meeting him once, he brought so much pain to Qi Yan, becoming the beginning of his nightmare and bringing him unnecessary suffering...
So Qi Yan must never be allowed to know about this, right?
If it weren't for that encounter, Yi Hongli would not have the chance to use him and seize the opportunity given by the Shen family to climb up, so as to discover Xia Yunqie's identity and bring so much pain to Qi Yan and his family.
Originally, Qi Yan's grandparents, uncle and aunt would not have died so early, and his relationship with his mother and cousins would not have broken down to this extent.
But secrets cannot be kept secret. Shen Xiliu thought he could keep the matter a secret, but one day the truth would be revealed.
If Yi Hongli is not living well, he will not let them live well either.
Even if he could never get out of prison, Yi Hongli had a way to let Qi Yan know about this. When Shen Xiliu knew about it, he hurried to Qi Yan's house. To this day, he could not forget Qi Yan's expression at that time.
"Chen Xiliu, stay away from me." Qi Yan's expression was very cold, and even the look in his eyes was particularly scary. "Don't let me see you again in the future."
Yi Hongli's revenge was indeed quite successful. Neither Shen Xiliu nor Qi Yan could live freely. Shen Xiliu completely collapsed, and Qi Yan was sent to the hospital again.
Afterwards, there seemed to be nothing more to say.
There was no cure for a terminally ill person, and Qi Yan could barely take his medicine.
He sat in the ward, surrounded by many people.
[I wonder what Qi Ge and Yan Yan will look like when they grow up? 】My aunt looked a little sad.
Qi Yan said: Yanyan looks a lot like you, Qi Ge will be fine too, he has already agreed to repeat the year...
My uncle said: [It goes without saying that Qi Ge will become an honest policeman like me. When he was a child, he always liked to steal my gun and never learned his lesson even after being beaten. He is really annoying. 】
Qi Yan lowered his head and apologized: I’m sorry, if it weren’t for me, Qi Ge might have really done what you wished.
[Is my little one better now?] 】Grandpa frowned and looked at the flowers by the window.
Qi Yan fell into silence, his eyes fell on the woman sitting beside the bed, smiling at him gently.
There were countless noisy voices ringing in my ears, coming from all the people who died because of him, and from myself at different times. They were asking:
Why aren’t you dead yet? 】
…
…………
Waking up from the nightmare, Shen Xi broke out in a cold sweat. He lay on the sofa and slept for a long time without realizing it. Although the room was air-conditioned, his limbs were still cold.
The sky outside the window has become dark, and white snowflakes are faintly falling. The first snow has arrived.
“Haaaah, haaaah!”
When Shen Xiliu saw the falling snow, his expression went blank for a moment. He ran up eagerly to close the curtains, and even his breathing became extremely rapid.
I hate snowy days and don’t want to see snow.
Shen Xiliu couldn't control himself from losing control, and even the pheromones in his body became disordered.
He thought that his previous life was over and Qi Yan had forgiven him in the end, but in fact he hadn't.
Now that he thinks about it, the reason why Qi Yan forgave him in his previous life and said those words to him when they met for the last time was not because he forgave him, but because he didn't want him to fall into Yi Hongli's conspiracy and didn't want Yi Hongli to succeed.
“Please… I beg you… don’t recover your memory…” Shen Xiliu pulled the heavy curtains to cover himself in the darkness and begged in great pain. He was too afraid that Qi Yan would recover his memory.
I have comforted myself countless times and calmed down countless times, but my emotions always collapse and my reason cannot control my out-of-control emotions. No matter how many words he said to comfort himself, Shen Xiliu found that he could not get out of his fear after all. The darkness enveloped him like a shadow. The pain had entangled him from the previous life to this life, and Shen Xiliu had never been free.
“Bang!”
The lights in the house suddenly came on. Shen Xiliu reacted vaguely and subconsciously looked at the person who turned on the light.
“…”
When Qi Yan saw him hiding in the corner in a panic, he was stunned for a moment and opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, Shen Xiliu staggered to his feet and walked towards him: “Qi Yan…Qi Yan!”
Please don't restore my memory!
Shen Xiliu threw himself into Qi Yan's arms and hugged Qi Yan's waist tightly. His whole body was trembling and tears rolled down from his red eyes. When Shen Xiliu thought about Qi Yan recovering his memory and knowing that he had done so many terrible things that had brought him to that point, he felt extremely terrified.
Qi Yan subconsciously caught him and wanted to ask Shen Xiliu what happened, but after noticing his fear, he just patted his back gently: "Don't worry, it's okay, no matter what happens, I will always be with you."
Chen Xiliu's mental state is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Qi Yan no longer believes in the results of the instruments at home, and there are many hints in Shen Yunshu's words.
Thinking about what happened in the research institute today, Qi Yan felt a little complicated, but he didn't show it in the end. He whispered to comfort the tense Shen Xiliu.
"If you encounter any painful things, you can talk to me, I will listen carefully..."
"No! No!"
Chen Xiliu shook his head vigorously. I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you. I dare not let you know those things, otherwise you will definitely leave me!
It’s so painful! Why did the gods allow him to be reborn at the best time, but let Qi Yan be reborn as well?
Shen Xiliu couldn't describe the surprise he felt when he was reborn, nor could he describe the extreme fear he felt when he knew Qi Yan was reborn. It was so terrifying that it almost suffocated him. He wished he could die again!
"What... is going on?" After Shen Xiliu's emotions stabilized a little, Qi Yan gave him an injection of inhibitor. After he fell asleep, Qi Yan frowned and pondered.
He didn't understand why Shen Xiliu became like this. Obviously, with Shen Xiliu's status, there was no reason for him to become so nervous and fragile.
Qi Yan once asked Shen Yunshu and You Yi, but the two of them didn't know either, and only said that Shen Xiliu had been like this since childhood.
After thinking for a while, Qi Yan took out his cell phone and found the phone number of the head of the Shen family. This was the contact information the other party left after they met last time in the teahouse.
The phone rang for a while before the other party picked it up. Patriarch Shen was a little surprised that he would look for him. Without waiting for Qi Yan to ask, he asked, "Is it because of the situation on the stream?"
He easily guessed why Qi Yan called, and Qi Yan briefly told him about Shen Xiliu's situation. Qi Yan always had an inexplicable sense of trust in the head of the Shen family. He didn't know where it came from, even though they had just met for the first time not long ago.
It was as if Qi Yan's subconscious mind had already believed that this elder should be the one who understood Shen Xiliu best and the only one who could discipline him.
"...Actually, I don't need to tell you." The head of the Shen family on the opposite side stretched out his hand to fiddle with the photo album in front of him, and said in a gentle voice, "I guess you will know it soon. You know everything better than me."
Qi Yan was stunned: "What do you mean?" He didn't quite understand why he knew everything better than Shen Xiliu's uncle.
"Qi Yan, I'm sorry for bothering you all this time."
The head of the Shen family did not explain in detail. He stared at a photo in the album. It showed a thin young man with long black hair. He was wearing a hat and sunglasses. His appearance could not be seen clearly, and even his gender could not be confirmed through the photo. One could only vaguely see from the side that the boy's facial features were delicate and exuded a cold and distant feeling.
"Xi Liu has been a very troublesome child since he was young."
"But he is really trying hard to do one thing well this time, to make up for the mistakes that did not happen in time, and he is also restraining his impulse." The head of the Shen family said softly, "I trust you very much, I just hope you can take a good look at it when the time comes. Whether you are willing to forgive him, the choice is in your hands, no one is qualified to make the decision for you."
Qi Yan didn't know how to describe his feelings after hearing these words. He couldn't understand why the head of the Shen family would say such a thing? What forgive him? Shen Xiliu had never done anything to let him down...
However, the confusion did not last long, and he had another dream. In the dream, Jiang Yuqing brought his child to see him.
The baby, who is just over one year old, is very fair and cute. His facial features are very similar to Jiang Yuqing, and you can also see the shadow of Gu Yanxing in his outline. He is wearing a little dinosaur jumpsuit, and his tail is swinging behind him.
"Why do we have to do it through the window?" Jiang Yuqing placed the baby by the window, a little speechless, "I feel like I'm visiting a prisoner."
Qi Yan laughed and said, "Let's do it through the window. I'm not in a good mental state right now, so as not to scare the child."
For safety reasons, it’s better for them to stay away from each other. Next time when the situation is more stable, they can get together again. That should be fine, right?
He looked at the baby's big, innocent and curious eyes, his soft little face almost touching the glass, revealing a few millet-sized teeth, and crying loudly.
"Although wearing this kind of clothes makes you look cute, won't it be easy for you to fall?" Qi Yan half bent over and looked at the baby, then smiled and pointed at the window where his chubby little hand was pressed.
"Woooooo!" The chubby little face squeezed harder, and his milk fat was deformed. He showed a sweet smile and looked at Qi Yan curiously.
Jiang Yuqing picked up the baby and carefully wiped the saliva that was about to flow out of him: "It's okay, the tail is very thick, it's okay if it falls."
They chatted across the window, and Qi Yan noticed that the person reflected in the glass window looked a little decadent. He almost didn't recognize himself, and it seemed that even his face seemed to have changed.
Facts proved that his choice was correct. Before he had talked to Jiang Yuqing and the others for a few more words, Qi Yan began to feel his emotions out of control. Doctors and nurses rushed in to give him an injection. Jiang Yuqing covered the baby's eyes to prevent him from seeing this scene.
You've lived too long! 】He heard himself say impatiently.
"Shut up!" Qi Yan became extremely anxious and couldn't control himself at all.
[I've told you, don't tell me to shut up. If you want me to shut up, you'd better die first. 】He saw "himself" looking at him coldly.
Then I saw another "me" sitting by the window, looking down, and said quietly: "I really want to jump down and end this miserable life. 】
[How could Yi Hongli succeed again? I feel so regretful when I think about this! 】He saw "himself" pacing around, grabbing his hair, looking anxious and dissatisfied.
Why don’t you just die quickly? It would be a relief to die! 】
More and more hallucinations surrounded him. Qi Yan covered his head with his hands in pain and huddled in a corner until he heard a gentle female voice: "Okay, shut up. 】
As soon as she spoke, all "people" shut their mouths, and Qi Yan seemed to be relieved in an instant.
He looked up in a daze. The gentle white figure was as beautiful as in his childhood, making him miss her so much: "...Mom."
The white figure squatted down and hugged him gently: [...Yanzhi, does your head still hurt? 】
The figure and voice that were too distant and made people miss them stabilized the emotions that were almost out of control. Qi Yan felt a little powerless. He felt as if he was no different from his childhood self. So many years had passed, but he still had not grown up. He still missed his gentle mother and was unable to get out of the shadow of the past.
"Mom, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..."
Qi Yan apologized in a daze. He felt his mother's hand gently stroking his head, and the pain disappeared.
[Yanzhi, no need to apologize. You never have to apologize to me. 】
His mother calmed him down, reached out and held his hand, and spoke with a smile.
[Does your head hurt?] 】
[Come with me, Yanzhi.] 】
[As long as you are with me, you will never have to suffer so much again. 】
Qi Yan looked at her figure and could no longer hear the voices of others.
His eyes gradually became hazy. When he was a child, his mother often held his hand and took him to play in the greenhouse, just like now.
"……good."
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