Chapter 103: Past Life + Present Life Ending
[The birthday gift Qi Yan gave him was a pair of green gemstone cufflinks.
Shen Xiliu sat in the passenger seat. The temperature in the car was turned up high, adding a bit of color to his pale face, making him look less pale and cold.
You Yi whistled: "Not bad, the meaning is really good."
The vibrant color is very suitable for the now lifeless Shen Creek, symbolizing life and nature, tranquility and peace, and is also a symbol of luck.
"Is it suitable for me?" Shen Xiliu's tone was calm.
"Of course it's suitable. Qi Yan is quite good at choosing gifts..." You Yi raised his head to look at him, but was startled as soon as he caught a glimpse of him. He immediately looked away, not daring to continue looking at Shen Xiliu crying with an expressionless face.
"Shen Youyi."
Finally, Shen Xiliu called his name, his full name.
"exist!"
Youyou reacted reflexively, and was so scared that his whole body tensed up, thinking that he was going to settle the score with him later.
"Thank you." However, Shen Xiliu did not settle the score afterwards, but just thanked him gently.
He knew that Qi Yan's visit to him and giving him a birthday present was closely related to You Yi. Everything seemed to become less painful, yet more painful.
Chen Xiliu knew that it was impossible for him to let go of Qi Yan in the first place, and it was even more impossible for him to let go now.
Qi Yan's arrival actually brought about many changes in him.
Chen Xiliu thought, maybe Qi Yan didn't hate him that much anymore; maybe he could spend more time with Qi Yan; maybe in the remaining time, their relationship could be eased...
However, no matter how many perhapss there are, they cannot withstand the blizzard that is coming.
——Qi Yan died on the first day after his birthday.
New Year's Day has just ended, and it should be a good day to welcome the new year. Shen Xiliu originally thought so. He spent his birthday with his family in the old house yesterday. Because of Qi Yan's blessing, Shen Xiliu's entire mental outlook seemed to have returned to the past. Since Qi Yan hoped that he would get better, he would do everything as he was told.
Shen Xiliu had already decided to go to the hospital to see Qi Yan today. He got up very early, but it was not until noon that he mustered up the courage to walk into the hospital. He kept organizing his words in his mind and imagining what he was going to say next...
However, all the prepared ideas came to an abrupt end when a patient jumped from a tall building in the hospital.
To this day, Shen Xiliu still cannot forget how he felt at that time. After all, he will never fail to recognize Qi Yan. He remembered that he was like a psychopath at that time, desperately pushing through the crowd, throwing himself to the ground like a madman, trying to pick up Qi Yan from the ground and stop the scarlet blood from flowing out of his body...
He couldn't hear anything and couldn't care about anything. His throat was in great pain. It took him a long time to realize that the sound he made was so shrill. Even his vision was completely dyed red. The strong smell of blood surrounded him. His body, which should have been warm, was losing temperature bit by bit and became cold and stiff.
It was indescribable pain, worse than death, and he never wanted to face it again.
Shen Xiliu thought, if only he died earlier, then he wouldn't have to face Qi Yan's death.
Someone like Qi Yan shouldn't bid farewell to this world in such a tragic way.
If Qi Yan had not pulled him back from the middle of the road and let him die there, it might have been a good thing for everyone.
This time, there was no way to escape reality, and no one could pull him out of the abyss of despair.
Shen Xiliu was pulled away by his uncle and You Yi who came over, otherwise no one would be able to get close to Qi Yan's body amid the resistance of a madman.
The bodies that fell from the tall building were in such a miserable state that Shen Yunshu frowned and wanted to help clean them up, but was stopped by Shen Xiliu.
He stared at Qi Yan intently and seemed to have regained his composure.
She took care of everything by herself, except returning Qi Yan's ashes to Qi Ge and Qi Yan.
Shen Xiliu knew that even if Qi Yan died, he wanted to return to his family, and he had no right to forcefully keep Qi Yan's ashes with him.
During that time, many people were worried that he would do something extreme, but Shen Xiliu looked at his worried uncle and said calmly: "I won't die."
At least not now, he is not qualified to die now.
If Qi Yan wanted him to live, then he would have to atone for his sins while alive, suffer torture while alive, and he would not have the right to end this life easily.
The green jewel cufflinks that Qi Yan gave him as a birthday gift were eventually stained with Qi Yan's blood, and one of them was accidentally broken.
Shen Xiliu knew what Qi Yan cared about, so he would take care of the living for Qi Yan. He would watch Jiang Yuqing and his children grow up and help him pave the way for the future. He would help Qi Ge and Qi Yan until they realized their dreams, got married and had children. He would take care of Qi Yan's friends and keep them from getting into danger.
Perhaps one day, after paying off his debt, he will be able to die in front of Qi Yan's tombstone to atone for his sins and be freed. 】
…
…………
"Just come in."
Qi Yan also didn't expect to meet the doctor, Zhai Xuan'an, who said he had been on a business trip, in Shen Yunshu's office.
"Doctor Zhai?" Qi Yan was stunned. Looking at the warm and honest man in front of him, a sense of familiarity came over him. The previously vague childhood memories seemed to become clear in an instant.
"Qi Yan, long time no see."
Doctor Zhai was sitting opposite Shen Yunshu, drinking tea, with a somewhat helpless expression. It was probably because he was on a business trip, but was accidentally kidnapped by people sent by Shen Yunshu.
When Qi Yan opened the door and entered, Dr. Zhai was not surprised. Instead, he felt sad that he had not seen him for many years. He asked how he and his mother were doing now.
I did meet him by chance on the road not long ago, but unfortunately I was busy on a business trip, so I didn't have a good chat with Xia Yunqie. However, I believe that with their family by their side, their lives should be easier than they were a decade ago.
Qi Yan suppressed his surprised look and chatted calmly with Dr. Zhai. Xia Yunqie had always wanted to visit him but had not found a chance. He did not expect that Dr. Zhai was back now.
But why couldn't I remember him?
Qi Yan believed that he had a good memory and he still remembered many things from his childhood clearly. However, before he met Dr. Zhai, he did not have much impression of him. It was not until he saw his photo, heard his voice, and now met this man in person that he felt a sense of familiarity.
"...The last time I saw you, you were only this tall. I didn't expect to have the chance to see you again..." Doctor Zhai was very gentle and kind. He looked at him carefully and there was a lot of concern in his words, as if he and Ms. Xia were once quite familiar with each other.
He looked like a friend I hadn't seen for many years. Every word he said touched my heart and made me miss him.
With rare doubts that day, Qi Yan wanted to go back and ask Ms. Xia, but because of Shen Xiliu's problems, the matter was temporarily postponed.
"…You know everything better than I do."
The words of the head of the Shen family did not leave Qi Yan confused for too long, or rather, he should have remembered it earlier.
[Yanzhi, come here.] 】
In the dream, Xia Yunqie waved at him, and every move was very similar to her in Qi Yan’s childhood memory.
But Qi Yan remembered that Ms. Xia was no longer like this. She had become stronger and calmer in character. She was completely different from the gentle and beautiful girl in his dream, who hid a crazy attitude under her gentle and beautiful appearance.
And she prefers to call him Xiao Yan rather than Yan Zhi.
However, the self in the dream did not seem to realize this. He walked towards her slowly, but suddenly stopped.
"Xia Yunqie" slowly showed him a gentle smile and softly persuaded: "Yanzhi, come here, you can't stay here any longer, you will hurt other people, come with me quickly. 】
She held out her hand to him tenderly.
Yes, if he continues to stay here, he will hurt other people. He has no reason to stay here anymore.
Only by leaving with "Xia Yunqie" can we protect others and stay away from pain and torture...
So he followed uncontrollably.
Qi Yan followed "Xia Yunqie" out of the ward as if nothing had happened, took the elevator and went to the top floor of the hospital.
The pain of death actually lasted only a moment, but that moment was infinitely prolonged and became extremely painful in the dream, until it woke Qi Yan up completely. He felt cold all over, cold sweat broke out on his back, and he kept gasping for breath instinctively.
"!!!"
A large amount of chaotic memories collided in the brain like a surging tide. Similar memories, familiar, unfamiliar, and completely different life experiences collided with each other. The brain suddenly tensed up, exploding with a deafening sound, the temples were beating violently, and a sharp, stabbing pain spread.
Each fragment of memory seemed to turn into a sharp blade, cutting Qi Yan's self-awareness, making him lose his self-judgment. Even his nervous system was disrupted, causing his consciousness to be stirred into mud, as if he was about to be swallowed by a vortex of disordered memories.
For a moment, Qi Yan couldn't even tell whether he was in his past life or this life!
Sometimes it was the fear of being grabbed by the shoulders and questioned frantically, sometimes it was the helplessness of being nervous and worried by Xia Yunqie; sometimes it was the joy of playing sports with cousins and friends in school, sometimes it was the worry and irritation of facing tuition fees alone in a corner; sometimes it was the resentment after being blocked from taking the college entrance examination, and sometimes it was the excitement of being admitted to the ideal university successfully in the college entrance examination...
Too many confusing memories were madly entangled in him, and Qi Yan could hardly tell which one was the real him, until a warm body suddenly pressed against his back.
"Qi Yan, what's wrong with you?" Shen Xiliu was awakened by him. He was panicked for a moment, and then he noticed that Qi Yan was holding his head and groaning. The fear in his heart was completely replaced by worry. "Did you have a nightmare again?"
When he said this, a trace of sadness flashed in Shen Xiliu's eyes. Chen Xiliu knew that he had actually...always been very clear that he was the cause of all Qi Yan's pain and the source of his nightmares.
"Are you still feeling uncomfortable? I'll call a doctor right away!" Shen Xiliu hurriedly turned on the desk lamp and was about to get out of bed to get his phone, but Qi Yan grabbed his wrist.
"Qi Yan?" Shen Xiliu turned around and looked at him nervously. Qi Yan didn't turn his head to look at him, as if he just grabbed him instinctively.
Qi Yan was unaware of this action, as he was sitting on the bed trying to stay calm. The soft and thin quilt slipped off because of the movement. The light fell on his forehead, which was covered with a fine layer of sweat. His handsome three-dimensional outline was shadowed, and his expression was indescribably confused and complicated.
"..." After taking a few deep breaths, Qi Yan slowly turned his head and stared at Shen Xiliu who was full of concern and worry. He frowned subconsciously, revealing a hint of disgust, "Why are you here?"
How could Shen Xiliu still have the nerve to appear in front of him after having just done that?
"?!" Shen Xiliu's pupils suddenly shrank, and his expression turned into shock.
"wrong!"
However, before he could react, Qi Yan shook his head violently again.
Chen Xiliu is his boyfriend, and he is now staying in someone else's room because of the arrival of his grandparents and mother.
“Qi Yan?” Seeing his strange look, Shen Xiliu’s heart tightened. He spoke carefully, wanting to ask him if…his memory had been recovered?
But I was so scared that I couldn't speak.
Qi Yan pressed his forehead, and the scenes of his past and present lives kept flashing in his mind. He looked anxious: "No! Why am I here... No! I chose to be here... Damn it!"
The disordered memory made Qi Yan feel extremely irritated. He let go of Shen Xiliu's hand, threw back the quilt, got out of bed, and tried to calm down.
But before he could leave, Shen Xiliu grabbed the corner of his clothes tightly and asked him in great fear: "Qi Yan, where are you going?"
It was a desperate voice that sounded like someone was almost suffocating from fear! ! !
"open."
Qi Yan turned around, his expression seemed a little impatient, and even his voice was cold, just like when they had a falling out.
But just after he finished speaking, when Qi Yan saw Shen Xiliu's helpless expression that seemed like he was about to cry, he suddenly calmed down, as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him. He slapped his forehead in regret and held Shen Xiliu's hand that was holding the corner of his clothes.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I don't seem to be normal right now. My mind is so confused, and what I just said was not what I wanted to say to you..."
"I can't quite figure myself out, Shen Xiliu, give me some time to calm down."
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