Chapter 69
Jiang Yun slowly closed the "page of the book".
The movie should end here.
There will be no further news about Jiang Yun from Lu Huai’s perspective.
But this is just one of the countless "books" in the "library." Like a drop in the ocean, it is almost negligible.
Are the remaining "books" all repetitions of this "book"?
Jiang Yun knew that the human brain had billions of neurons active per second and could produce about three clear thoughts.
In addition to the memories that have a basis in reality, Lu Huai must have other thoughts.
Jiang Yun picked up another "book" and pressed the play button of the movie again.
He saw himself crying.
He was wearing the uniform of the Foreign Affairs College and standing under the street light at No. 5 Qianshui Road, crying heartbrokenly.
But in reality, he had never cried like this at No. 5 Shallow Water Road.
Jiang Yun quickly understood - this was the [possibility] that Lu Huai had thought of.
In Lu Huai's imagination, he [might] cry like this after learning of Lu Huai's death.
Without the support of reality, the film's images become sporadic and chaotic, with no linearity of time and no story coherence.
In the previous scene, he was holding a black umbrella and standing in the cemetery where it was drizzling.
The next scene shows him sitting in the living room of the Jiang family residence, solemnly announcing to his parents, "Okay, I've almost forgotten about Colonel Lu. You can introduce me to the new Alpha."
She found out that she was pregnant with her late husband's child, so she decided to give birth to the child. She lived alone with the child for a long time.
When he found out he was pregnant, he decided to give his child a complete family, so he remarried.
He didn't get pregnant, but he remarried. He had two children with other Alphas. He had a happy family of four.
He was well taken care of by his new husband and he always maintained his innocent and enthusiastic character.
He had no children and never remarried, and he devoted himself to his career.
His personality changed. He became cold, strong, resolute and decisive.
He became a very good diplomat.
…
While watching these [possibilities], Jiang Yun also felt Lu Huai's emotions.
I feel heartbroken, sad, and jealous to the point of madness. I know I should be happy, but I feel like I'm about to collapse.
Jiang Yun never knew that his Alpha, who was always able to calmly control the overall situation, actually had such rich emotions in his heart.
Suddenly, Jiang Yun sensed another completely different emotion.
It is a kind of self-healing sugar-coated feeling wrapped in despair and regret.
It seems sweet in the mouth, tempting them to willingly sink into deep thought. But what awaits them at the end is always greater despair and regret after waking up.
——Yes [if].
——If Lu Huai came back.
Like him, Lu Huai had imagined countless “we could have”s in the past seventeen years.
In this [if], he personally rushed to the military airport, just like he always waited for Lu Huai at home, ignoring other people's eyes - and rushed into Lu Huai's arms regardless of everything.
"Colonel Lu, you're back!" He lay on Lu Huai's chest, clutching Lu Huai's military uniform, refusing to let go out of fear, "I saw the news, I thought I would never see you again..."
In that "if" moment, he rushed out of the bathroom again, holding a pregnancy test stick and told Lu Huai: "Colonel Lu, look, I think I'm pregnant!"
She was sensitive and fragile during her pregnancy, and she desperately wanted her husband's pheromones.
He became extremely clingy, following Lu Huai wherever he went.
In order to accompany him, Lu Huai took all his vacation time.
His belly grew bigger and bigger. Lu Huai prepared three meals for him every day, walked with him in the spring park, and put his hand on his belly to listen to the baby's heartbeat.
They had a lovely son, and two years later, they welcomed an equally lovely daughter.
His personality has not changed. Even after becoming a father, he is still as innocent and enthusiastic as he was when he was a student.
His personality has changed a lot. Since becoming a father, he has become more mature and stable, but he still likes to act coquettishly in front of his husband.
Next [if], he gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl.
The next one [if] is a pair of twin boys, but both look very much like him.
...That's not the case.
It had to be twin boys.
He wanted his elder brother to look like him and his younger brother to look like Lu Huai.
...This is the only way.
Jiang Yun flipped through Lu Huai's "books" one by one, quickly.
He felt like he was going crazy.
What's the difference between this and looking for a needle in a haystack? How can he possibly find it?
But, he really wanted to know...
He wondered what their seventeen years would have been like if Lu Huai hadn't fallen asleep in the accident seventeen years ago—if Lu Huai had returned safely.
But he couldn't find it... no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn't find it.
What to do…what should he do to see that [if]?
——Which [if] is closest to the truth?
Just before his emotions were about to lose control, a voice rang out: "Jiang Yun."
Jiang Yun suddenly froze.
This voice did not come from the "book", but was actually happening behind him.
"Don't look at it anymore," the voice whispered. "You won't be able to finish it."
Jiang Yun turned around in a daze.
He saw Lu Huai again.
This Lu Huai is different from the one in the "book". He is so young and lively, yet so calm and tired.
This is Lu Huai seventeen years later—Lu Huai in real circumstances.
Lu Huai raised his hands, cupped his cheeks, and said distressedly and helplessly: "I guessed that you would cry after knowing this, so I didn't want to tell you."
Did he cry? How come he didn't feel it?
He clearly said that he would not cry because of Lu Huai's deception.
Jiang Yun's eyelashes trembled in confusion, and a tear left a faint tear mark on his face.
"...Why are you here?" Jiang Yun heard himself asking.
Lu Huai explained simply: "This is the dimension of my consciousness. I can create an anchor point here, and of course I can return here."
Jiang Yun lowered his eyes: "You lied to me again."
Lu Huai hummed and said, "I'm sorry, please forgive me."
Without a single word of rebuttal or excuse, Lu Huai admitted it as readily as ever. He even smiled a little: "Great, this time I can finally truly assure you that I will never lie to you again."
Jiang Yun closed his eyes, and more tears fell: "...Liar."
"Yes, yes, I'm a liar. Okay, baby, don't cry anymore." Jiang Yun kept crying, and Lu Huai kept wiping his tears frantically. "You keep crying like this, it makes me doubt whether I'm really that miserable. Actually, I always feel that you have had a harder time than me in these seventeen years."
Jiang Yun moved the corners of his lips, a little unbelievable: "Are you crazy?"
Seventeen years after losing Lu Huai, he still had his parents who loved and cared for him;
There are children who can cry and laugh, speak and act like a spoiled child, and call him dad with bright eyes;
He has a career to strive for;
When he's in a good mood, he can even enjoy entertainment and delicious food.
But what about Lu Huai? What does Lu Huai have?
He had no vision, no hearing, no sense of touch, only a void of darkness.
Isn’t Lu Huai the one who is more miserable?
Lu Huai shook his head and said, "I know I'm not dead, I know I might wake up. I know as long as I hold on, I have a chance to return to you. No matter how slim this chance is, it is always a hope. And as long as it is hope, it has power."
"And you didn't, baby. From the moment you heard the news of my death, you were planted with the knowledge that we would never see each other again."
"So, when I learned that you had been alone for the past seventeen years, I couldn't imagine how you managed to survive."
"Don't feel bad for me anymore, Jiang Yun. My faint hope has finally come true. I can return to you. This is the greatest luck in my life."
"I'm not miserable at all."
Jiang Yun was stunned and couldn't find any reason to refute Lu Huai.
After a while, he slowly opened his mouth and said, "So, we both think that the other person is the one who is more miserable?"
Lu Huai nodded in agreement and said with a smile, "We are consistent in this regard. We are indeed a perfect match, baby."
Jiang Yun didn't know why Lu Huai could still laugh.
Lu Huai looked at Jiang Yun's empty expression, and the smile on his face gradually disappeared.
"Remember what we talked about on Jinmastu Island, Jiang Yun?" Lu Huai said seriously, "All of this is in the past—let it be in the past. No matter how much regret we have about the past, we cannot change the established facts. Even if you find that "if" in this sea of consciousness, it is just an illusory dream."
Jiang Yun's expression changed slightly.
"We still have a lot of time in the future, longer than seventeen years." Lu Huai said, "Let's look forward together, okay?"
...Look forward, haha.
Colonel Lu acted so strong and rational again.
Jiang Yun suddenly smiled: "What are you thinking about now?"
Lu Huai was slightly startled: "What?"
Jiang Yun said: "Are you thinking that you have to act rationally because I like Alphas who are not swayed by emotions, so no matter how sad you are, you can't show it?"
Lu Huai: “…”
Jiang Yun said calmly, "After you comfort me, are you going to digest your emotions alone again, or even hide away and cry secretly?"
Lu Huai's Adam's apple rolled, and he stubbornly smiled as he spoke: "Oh, no way, my acting is so bad now? You can even see that."
Jiang Yun asked Lu Huai, "So, have you ever thought about this? Which [if] is closest to the truth?"
Lu Huai nodded: "I've thought about it."
Jiang Yun's brows relaxed with relief, and he smiled very softly.
Lu Huai said, "I imagined that your personality would change significantly because of my death and your work. I also imagined that you would give birth to twin boys for us, the older one would look like you and the younger one would look like me. I imagined that you would let them inherit our surnames. But I really didn't expect that our two children... would be poor students."
"..." Jiang Yun and Lu Huai fell silent at the same time.
The established facts pulled them out of their illusory dreams.
They thought of their two real children and they had to return to them as soon as possible.
Jiang Yun asked, "How long have we been in this dimension?"
"I don't know." Lu Huai looked into the vast sea of consciousness. "Here, time is meaningless."
Lu Huai's gaze lingered in the distance for a moment, then retracted: "But no matter how long we stay, we should go back."
As if hearing their call, two familiar smells wafted over from a distant and unknown place at the perfect time.
A refreshing aroma after being chilled, and a rich and soft sweet fragrance.
It was the smell of cola and the fragrance of roses.
"Come back with me, Jiang Yun." Lu Huai extended his hand to Jiang Yun, "Back to reality, the children are still waiting for us."
Jiang Yun asked worriedly, "Then in reality, we will never be separated again, right?"
"Of course." Lu Huai smiled. "Foreign Minister Jiang holds a high position of power, comparable to the head of state. As long as you don't assign me life-threatening missions in the future, what else can separate us?"
Jiang Yun shook his head: "But Colonel Lu is so outstanding. If humanity encounters a devastating crisis again in the future, I'm afraid Colonel Lu will take the initiative to ask to fight without my assignment."
This time it was Lu Huai's turn to be unable to refute.
"But it doesn't matter. I'm no longer the student who can only wait for you to come back home." Jiang Yun calmly placed his hand in Lu Huai's palm. "If that day really comes, I will definitely stay by your side from beginning to end, just like today."
…
The moment their fingers were intertwined, Jiang Yun and Lu Huai opened their eyes at the same time on the hospital bed of the Alliance Academy of Advanced Sciences.
"dad!"
"dad--!"
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