Song Luan admired himself for being able to calmly ask him, "Why?"
Zhao Nanyu hugged her tightly, gritted his teeth, and explained to her word by word very slowly, "I asked the doctor, your health is not good, you can't keep it."
Song Luan couldn't breathe, her face was as white as paper, she wanted to break free from his embrace, but the man was too strong, she was trapped in his arms, "Is it because of this?"
She didn't quite believe it. Yes, it was true that she was weak and suffered from many illnesses, but she had been taking medicine properly these days and no longer felt chest tightness and fainted easily like before.
"We don't want it anymore. I can't risk your life."
Song Luan's eyes were red, and she stared at him without blinking, "I'm not that fragile, and I won't let anything happen to me." She looked up, trying hard not to let the crystal clear tears fall from her eyes. She said, "You have always made the decisions, and this time it's my turn to make the decision myself."
Zhao Nanyu guessed that she would not compromise easily, so he gritted his teeth and continued, "Be obedient."
He stretched out his fingers to wipe away the water from the corners of her eyes, "It's enough that we know each other."
Song Luan's nose was sore, her throat was so sore that she couldn't speak, and her hot tears rolled down one by one, unable to stop, "I don't listen, why? Huh!? Why do you have to make all the decisions and listen to you in everything?"
The baby was only a tiny bit big in her belly. How could she bear to give it up just because of his words or the doctor's?
She raised her sleeves to wipe away her tears and choked up as she spoke, "I will take my medicine and take good care of myself. I promise you that there will be no problems with me or the baby on the day of delivery."
Zhao Nanyu's eyes were bloodshot. He hugged her and said slowly, "We still have Shi Ge'er. I can't take risks with you."
After thinking for a while, Zhao Nanyu touched her cheek and said slowly: "I can not have a child, but I can't lose you."
Those were such sweet words of love. Song Luan pulled the corners of her mouth and tried to laugh, but she really couldn't laugh, not even a sarcastic laugh.
Song Luan nodded silently. She tried to raise the corners of her mouth and smiled at him, but her smile was ugly.
She asked, "If my health never gets better in this lifetime, will I never be able to have children again? If I get pregnant unexpectedly again in the future, I will have to abort the baby just like this time. I want to ask you, is that right?"
Zhao Nanyu held her tightly with trembling hands, as if he never wanted to let go. The sharp air he breathed made his throat hurt, and his head swelled and he was in agony. "I don't really like children either. It's enough for us to know each other as brothers."
One child is enough.
From now on, he will never think about his daughter again.
Nothing in this world is more important than her life.
Song Luan felt disheartened and she lay in his arms with a numb expression. Her eyes were lifeless and she stared blankly into the distance. No tears could flow from her eyes anymore.
She suddenly remembered that this body had been poisoned. Although she knew it in her heart, she still pretended to ask Zhao Nanyu who poisoned her?
The poison in her body has not yet been cured. These days, Zhao Nanyu keeps saying that he likes her, but he has not shown any intention of giving her the antidote.
Song Luan touched her belly and smiled bitterly. It had not been long since she knew about the child. She had gradually accepted it and was looking forward to the child's arrival, but she would soon not be able to keep her.
Song Luan closed her eyes, but she was still very sad. She had been learning how to take care of a child these days. She wondered day and night whether he was a boy or a girl. She wanted to prepare beautiful clothes for him and dress him up beautifully.
But this dream was shattered by Zhao Nanyu himself.
An inexplicable hatred suddenly surged in Song Luan's heart. If Zhao Nanyu had not poisoned her, her body would not have deteriorated like this, and her child would not have been implicated.
Before this, she had thought about staying by his side in the future, even though they didn't have a deep relationship, they still had two children.
Life requires adjustment, and after a long time, she felt that she and Zhao Nanyu could still get along well.
But now she suddenly didn't think so. If Zhao Nanyu insisted on aborting the child, she would not have any room to resist and would be powerless.
When she read the book before, as an outsider, Song Luan could not empathize with the characters in the book, nor could she understand the heroine's actions. She thought it was pretentious and artificial. But when she became a person in the book, she found that everything was so helpless.
The matter of the child will become a thorn in her heart that can never be pulled out, quietly inserted in her heart, causing dull pain.
She would resent Zhao Nanyu for no reason, and whenever she saw other people's children, she would be reminded of the child they once had and lost.
Song Luan opened his eyes and said calmly, "Zhao Nanyu, are you sure you won't regret it?"
"I won't."
Song Luan smiled weakly and said twice, "That's good, that's good."
As expected, the male protagonist is equally cruel and ruthless to his own flesh and blood.
In the evening, the abortion pills had been prepared in the kitchen, and a bowl of hot black medicine was brought into her room by the maid.
Zhao Nanyu took the bowl personally and put it on the table. He hadn't slept all day, and the bloodshot in his eyes became more and more serious. He looked at the woman sitting on the bed silently.
Song Luan was wearing a thin undershirt and huddled in the corner with her legs hugged. She was so tired from crying that she actually fell asleep.
What Song Luan found strange was that she slept very soundly.
She didn't know that she was talking in her sleep, and her words were incoherent and difficult to understand.
Song Luan hugged herself tightly. She felt cold all over. No matter how hard she tried to warm her hands and feet, she couldn't get them warm. Her eyes were a little swollen and she looked very pitiful.
Zhao Nanyu walked to the bedside with the medicine. His face was pale and bloodless. The medicine in his hand was still steaming hot. He opened his lips and whispered, "Drink the medicine."
After a long time, Song Luan raised her face, her grape-like dark eyes staring at him, her fair wrist tremblingly stretched out from the quilt, her fingertips also shaking.
Zhao Nanyu sighed softly and sat down next to her, "I'll feed you."
Song Luan swallowed and subconsciously moved her shoulders back. She said in a very small voice, pitifully, "Can you not drink it?"
Zhao Nanyu paused, "Don't be afraid, I'll bear it with you."
Of course he has to taste the bitter fruit he sowed with his own hands.
When the medicine was fed to her lips, Song Luan still dodged it. She lowered her head and gently placed her hand on her lower abdomen. "Drink it in two days. I want to stay with him for two more days."
This was just an excuse. Song Luan had no intention of drinking the abortion pill. Zhao Nanyu could be so cruel as to do that, but she couldn't.
Zhao Nanyu didn't dare to push her too hard, so he put the medicine in his hand back on the table and said, "Okay."
He asked again, "Are you hungry?"
Song Luan didn't eat much at noon, so he should be hungry now.
She shook her head and said sarcastically, "Do you think I can still eat now?"
Zhao Nanyu sighed and said, "You have to eat even if you have no appetite. What if you get starved?"
Song Luan snorted and didn't want to pay attention to him.
Zhao Nanyu was not angry and told the maid to bring in dinner. Song Luan didn't even look at it, but she soon figured it out. There was no need to be angry with him, as she would be the one starving.
She picked up the chopsticks and at least took two bites of rice, although it was still not much.
Zhao Nanyu didn't seem to have much appetite either, and he almost put down his chopsticks at the same time as her.
After dinner.
Song Luan looked like she didn't want to pay any more attention to him, so Zhao Nanyu tactfully disappeared from her sight.
Not long after he left, Song Luan slowly got out of bed. With weak legs, she moved step by step to the dressing table and used some strength to take out the locked box next to it.
All her valuable jewelry, mostly gold jewelry, were placed there, and there was not much cash.
The box was very heavy. She frowned and thought for a while, then picked out some valuable-looking jewellery from a pile of golden jewellery and wrapped them all in a piece of rag.
Recalling the scene of Zhao Nanyu handing her the medicine just now, Song Luan felt a tightness in her chest and a little suffocated.
She did not give up, nor did she believe that there was no cure.
She felt that there would always be a way and she wouldn't be so desperate.
Now she just wanted to escape from this place. These gold and silver jewelry should be worth a lot of money. With the money, she could find a doctor and find a solution herself.
Song Luan still remembered that the original owner had a lot of valuable jewelry placed in Huai Jin's small courtyard. She could go to Huai Jin, exchange money and run away.
As for Zhao Nanyu, he probably has no time to take care of him these days. After the New Year, the emperor is seriously ill and I'm afraid he won't recover.
The situation in the capital changed, and the Sixth Prince came to power. As Zhao Nanyu's confidant, he was probably very busy at that time and had no energy or time to look for her.
She could understand Zhao Nanyu's approach.
The male protagonist of the original book becomes a paranoid psychopath in the later period. He regards the person he likes as his own property. He takes very good care of the female protagonist and prepares everything by himself. The female protagonist has never even been hurt.
Therefore, Zhao Nanyu wanted to control her life and death, not letting her take any risk, and not allowing a difficult delivery to happen, which was completely in line with his personality.
Song Luan understood him, but also blamed him.
She couldn't change the mind of a twisted person, so she had to run away.
She wanted to stay away from Zhao Nanyu.
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